Evolve and Bloom

Let’s talk about the impact bullying can have on us as adults. First, as adults there’s this idea that we’re just supposed to “get over” and “move on” from bullying we experienced. Bullying, in any form can impact us throughout our lifetime. But research shows is that being bullied in our childhood, especially when we are still in the process of developing our personalities & the way we see the world can have long lasting effects on our adulthood. Childhood bullying can be traumatic & it can impact the way we see ourselves and the world.

I want to remind you that the thing that once kept you safe is no longer what you need, even though it may be hard to reverse, it is possible. Here are some ways:

1. Avoid social isolation & hyperindependence when possible. Build a community if you do not already have one, and allow your support system to actually support you rather than needing to do everything on your own. baby steps!
2. Try to practice staying present in the moment. You may experience emotional flashbacks, but it is important to label them and remind yourself that you are in a different place now & will cope in a different way.
3. I’m not the biggest fan of CBT, but I think in this scenario, recognizing your thought patterns as well as any cognitive distortions (black & white thinking, fortune telling etc) can be helpful. I’m not asking you to challenge your thoughts, but instead be aware of what your mind is telling you.
4. Learn how to regulate your emotions & self-soothe when you get triggered. I have many examples of this on my page.

One more note- I don’t love finding the positivity in all negative experiences because sometimes they just hurt. But, research shows up that being bullied builds inner-strength, self reliance & trust, resilience, empathy & compassion.

Something people tell me very often is that they struggle to know what they are feeling & why. Many people think they’re alone in this experience, but it is extremely common. Which is challenging because evidence suggests naming our emotions helps us feel calmer and gives us the ability to work through them without feeling too overwhelmed.

I created a guide for those who struggle with understanding their emotions & their triggers. I hope this helps ❤️

Reference for the body mapping study: https://www.pnas.org/doi/10.1073/pnas.1321664111

Guide inspo:

Mental health awareness month 💙

Can you spot a fake apology?
Post inspired by .therapist

Reminder, empathy does not need to mean acceptance of mistreatment. We can be empathetic without making excuses ❤️

Late night thoughts 💭 What do you think?

There are so many impacts of being raised by emotionally unavailable parents and this list is just a few: please remember these may not apply to you & your experience can be completely different ❤️

While it does take some work; we do have the ability to change the way we view experiences & work on our attachment style.

Here are some tools:
1. Remember what happened wasn’t your fault & you may have to grieve the childhood you know you deserved.
2. Self-compassion & acceptance. Acceptance helps us move past challenging times & work towards a better present & future.
3. Learn about yourself more. What do you like; what’s important to you?
4. If self-reflection seems safe it can help you identify your triggers & practice self-soothing skills. This can be a trial and error
5. Work on boundary setting- this can be challenging so you may want to work slow (or with a professional if you have the resources)
6. Community! Use your support system and heal with those around you. Spend time with people who make you feel good & can challenge you when you need it
7. Reach out for support if possible.

When I first saw post this quote it immediately stuck with me. It reminded me of the importance of self compassion. We spend so much time using negative self-talk as a motivator without realizing that it isn’t making things any easier and probably isn’t getting us to where we need to be. I’ve been using this quote as an affirmation whenever I find that I am being hard on myself. It reminds me to take a step back and show up for myself in a way I know I deserve. Give it a try and let me know if it helps ❤️

If you feel behind in life here’s a quick reminder that you were doing the best you could ❤️

Is your trauma response freeze?

If you resonate with this post I want you to to remember that your reaction to an unsafe situation is completely valid. Your body & mind showed up for you in a way they thought was best to keep you safe in that moment.

Freeze as a survival mode isn’t spoken about as much as fight & flight and we tend to shame ourselves for not having either of those reactions instead. Be gentle with yourself for the ways you acted in situations when you did not know any better. ❤️
Original post by:

If this is something you need to do to cope right now, that is valid and possibly your way of staying safe. But, avoiding our emotions and labelling it as “positive thinking” is harmful & misleading. Processing your emotions is NOT having a negative mindset. Your feelings & emotions are there for a reason, they want to be listened to and understood.

Here is your reminder to be mindful of what you are taking in on social media. Toxic positivity in the influencer community seems to be growing by the day. This can result in us feeling inadequate for not having a “positive” mindset or for struggling with our emotions .

Keep doing the work (even though it isn’t easy) and showing up for yourself in a way that feels right🤍

*if you know who this quote comes from please write it below so I can tag them* Ib:

Evolve and Bloom updated their business hours.