April Corkwell Benefit

CT showed no evidence of metastatic disease……which is the news we always hope to see! There are some changes to my liver we’re watching but no masses! Happy Monday!

This is fighting! I decided to share tonight after Douglas Corkwell and Hunter Wilson had to help me off the floor due to dizziness. It’s rarely pretty but it’s honest. And tomorrow morning Ella Wilson will help me get to chemo and lend me her strength as we hear the new CT scan results. I know FB is full of filters and positivity. This post is also full of positivity…..although it may not appear so to some. I’ll keep at it even feeling not my best…..I’ll get off the floor……I’ll go to chemo……and I’ll lean on those that love me as I go!
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Another rough chemo day. I sit here trying to feel good. There’s a lot about Cancer you don’t hear, sure you know the scary diagnosis and the chemo side effects but here’s what they don’t tell you……..

You can never escape it….you wake every morning and it’s on your mind. You go to bed every night and it’s on your mind, and all the hours in between.

You plan your entire life around your symptoms. “I’ll do that Thursday when the side effects are better.”

Often you hide your illness to appear normal, but then become upset when your friends and family temporarily forget you’re the furthest thing from normal.

You don’t want sympathy because you’re a “fighter” but sometimes it’s the only thing you need. Like a really good hug or cry.

You feel worse when you can’t complete ordinary tasks like going to work or mowing the grass. The guilt is REAL!

You wanna LIVE life but your dreams become limited. Can you imagine? Dreams limited? It’s a nightmare.

You feel grateful for all the people in your world that support and uplift you but gratitude is hard to express regularly. It ends up felling like you failed not saying it enough.

Cancer is as much a mental strain as it is physical. Sorry for the long post but as you can see I’m having trouble with both this morning.

Much Love! 💙🩵💙🩵💪🏻💪🏻💪🏻💪🏻

My bestie Mikel Ayres said it best……..I have a terminal illness yet still working full time and paying the bills.

Being everything to everyone…….I could use a break but……I don’t know the word quit! 💙🩵💙🩵💪🏻💪🏻💪🏻

Today’s a rough day…..fighting a GI bug…..even little illnesses drag back up those feelings I’ve worked so hard to put down.

All of this! Sometimes I feel like I’m on an emotional roller coaster, and a turn is coming every 5 minutes. But I refused to feel shame for it. Life is hard and beautiful all at the same time!

PS……don’t watch My All American when your all up in your feels about your health status.😢

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Here’s the official CT results……but in English it means things are pretty much the same as the previous scan. Which I will call a win! It means the Chemo is doing what we expect it to do. Another win is there is NO NEW SPOTS! That’s always a wonderful read. We have some things to continue to keep an eye on so we’ll do another CT scan in 2 months. Labs were good and my tumor markers were lower than last time so decent news all around. Thank you all for your prayers and well wishes…….they’re working! And so we fight on💙🩵💙🩵💪🏻💪🏻💪🏻💪🏻

Chemo and CT results in the morning! Obviously I’m hoping for good news…….since we’ve been back on the chemo schedule I’m hoping at minimum the CT results stay the same. A BIG win would be to see imrovement and the BEST news would be no evidence of disease. If you could send some thoughts, prayers, or good juju this direction, it would be very welcomed! 💙🩵💙🩵💪🏻💪🏻💪🏻

The 5 day wait has begun. Had my 2 month follow up CT scan today…….praying for some good news this round. This chemo has hit hard…..I’m making some life changes so that my body can rest more. Please keep me in your thoughts and prayers this week.

Much love! 🫶🏻💙🩵💙🩵💪🏻💪🏻💪🏻

This!!!!👇🏻 I legit have the best friends……..it’s a bonus when they have pasta 😝

Today has been a rough one…..thanks so much to everyone who has reached out. I’m super tired but thanks to all my amazing support and a nap, I’m feeling a bit better, Cancer hasn’t Won! 💙🩵💙🩵💪🏻💪🏻💪🏻💪🏻