Kelley Sgroi LMHC, LLC

Please welcome Krystyna to the practice!

Krystyna is a licensed mental health therapist with over 10 years of experience. During her professional career, Krystyna has worked with children, adolescents, adults and seniors. She has extensive experience in individual therapy, family therapy and couples therapy.
Krystyna strongly believes in a holistic approach to therapy and that all aspects of life are intertwined. Her expertise is in depression, anxiety, stress, relationship issues and worry. She also has experience with ADHD, OCD, grief and other, more complicated mental health issues. Krystyna uses Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, Person Centered Therapy, mindfulness, and trauma focus techniques to meet the individual needs of each of her clients. She believes in creating a safe therapeutic environment for clients to work through issues and problems that contribute to their mental well-being and help them become the best version of themselves.

Take a look at our new door! We are moving up in the world, or at least in the building. We are now located in Suite 401. Stay tuned for even more updates.

YSPM - Finding Hope and Resilience Finding Hope and Resilience Is finding hope and resilience difficult? In this episode of Your Superpowered Mind, host Kristin Maxwell welcomes Kelley Sgroi as her guest. They talk about the power of recognizing you have the power to manage your mind. Through this, you can forge hope and resilience o...

Due to building damage from Hurricane Ian, I am temporarily practicing at a different location. Please reach out for more information.

Also, we are expanding soon with the addition of an amazing therapist. Natasha specializes in substance abuse, adolescents and is bilingual so as a team we hope to meet even more of the needs of our clients

Stay tuned for details …

Therapist | Kelley Sgroi, LMHC Therapist and Lifecoach | Florida Kelley Sgroi, LMHC, LLC is a Licensed Mental Health Counselor and Life Coach providing a solution focused approach to improve all areas of your life.

Tonight 6 PM EDT

Communication is Key

This is the 2nd of a series of 3 classes that I am holding.

The class is based on the foundations in 7 Principles for Making Marriage Work by Dr. John Gottman.

I will review the basics from the first class as well.

If connection and communication are regular issues in your relationship then you will find these principles extremely helpful

Message me for the zoom link

What Makes A Marriage Succeed- The Secret You Need To Know.pdf

What Makes A Marriage Succeed? The Secret Is Inside.

Did you know…⁣
⁣
Dr. John Gottoman (The Gottman Institute) has predicted divorce with 95% accuracy after listening to them talk for 15 minutes. In that short time the depth of their friendship, fondness and admiration for each other is clear in the way they speak to each other.⁣
⁣
The foundation of the Sound Relationship House is friendship. The deep seeded kind,maybe the kind you have with some of your oldest friends.⁣
⁣
At the core of this friendship is emotional intelligence. These couples are tuned in to each other emotionally, and tuned in to each of their own emotions as well, feel safe and secure enough to discuss them and then move on.⁣
⁣
The 7 Principles is an ideal way to build and maintain a successful marriage.⁣
⁣
As a leader of the 7 Principles, I have an opportunity for 3 couples to participate in a 7 Principles Workshop .

Message for deets!

I know how difficult it can be to keep criticism out of a “discussion”

There is a reason criticism is the first of the 4 Horsemen of the Apocalypse (Gottman)

It is followed by the other 3, starting with defensiveness.

Imagine how much more productive would be if, instead of criticizing each other in an argument,

You could both talk about yourself, how you are feeling and what would make things better for you.

Unfortunately, very few discussions start this way because, well, flooding happens and most of the time we wait until the frustration level is high before we discuss what is actually wrong.

So, what is a gentle start up?

It’s just that ..gently discussing how you feel at the moment without placing the blame or pointing fingers at your spouse.

Give it a try.

Need some examples?

Comment Gentle Start Up

Most of you say the thing you struggle with the most in your marriage is communication.

Think back to the last argument you had, with anyone really.

How did it start?
Was there criticism about something?
Did someone get defensive?

Then what?

Let me introduce you to the 4 Horsemen of The Apocalypse
Gottman Relationship Style

Criticism
Defensiveness
Contempt
Stonewalling

Does this sound familiar?

Her “you never pick up after yourself”
Him “What? I pick up after everyone!”
Her “here we go again, I don’t work so I’m lazy right?”
Him “I am not having this conversation”

You get frustrated, you are tired and overwhelmed and you feel overworked and unappreciated.

You just want someone to pick up a little slack.

That is understandable.

When the 4 Horsemen show up in a conversation, an argument usually follows and then on to a major blow up.
Unfortunately, the first 2 Horsemen seem to be present the majority of the time in most relationships. Someone is usually on edge, someone else is taking things personally, and communication goes haywire.

Gottman research has shown that when your pulse rate reaches 100 BPM the fight or flight response is kicking in. Your brain is saying to your body that you are under attack and it’s time to fight for survival.

No new information can come in and no rational thought is present. This is why so many arguments escalate to all out war.

So what can you do about it?

First, the antidotes to the 4 Horsemen

Gentle start up
Take responsibility
Describe your feelings, not your partner’s mistake
Self soothe

Second, introduce repairs. Repairs are how good communicators de-escalate an argument when the 4 Horsemen threaten upheaval.

It is not always easy, but it is always worth it.
For more information on the 4 Horsemen, the antidotes or how to use repairs
https://www.facebook.com/groups/therelationshipreboot

What makes one couple’s marriage last 50+ years, while so many others
Are barely held together after 5?
At the foundation of any relationship is friendship. Thinking back to the early days of your relationship, did you stay up late into the night sharing stories of childhood, of dreams for the future, of your favorite memories?
When life takes the unexpected, but inevitable twists and turns that life takes, the aspect of the relationship that holds couples together is their friendship.

That’s right, it is not their ability to avoid conflict or a passionate s*x life. It is FRIENDSHIP.

Are you and your partner best friends?
Has the friendship waned over the years while life got busy?
Do you know your partner’s inner world?
Did you marriage start with a foundation of friendship or did it go from 0-100 quickly?

Building love maps, the Gottman Institutes ground floor of the Sound Relationship House, helps couples discover and rediscover why they fell in love to begin with.

For more details about love maps or to learn more about how to use love maps in your marriage
comment love maps

Have you ever noticed that wherever you are, physically, mentally, emotionally, you are wishing to be somewhere else? It is like a never ending pursuit of the next thing, the next feeling, the next state of being.

Instead of allowing each and every state as a gentle holding place for the lesson at hand, you are resisting the process, trying to avoid the feeling, rush through the discomfort.

You are not alone. It is "human nature" to want to avoid, change, rush through, stuff, numb, or move past anything that does not seem to fit the idea of what is on track.

It is not the state that you as a spiritual being were meant to be in. You were meant to stop, rest, feel, process, allow and transform. Only then is the lesson learned in such a way that you can move through it. Not around, not over..but through.

What if where you are, right here and right now, regardless of how it feels, is exactly where you are meant to be on the journey to discovering WHO you truly are.

Take a moment today. Breathe it in. Allow it to flow. Be.

How do you feel when you are around people that are arguing?

Do you feel tense, anxious, sad?

Do you want to hide, run away?

When you and your spouse are arguing, even over the littlest thing,
Your children are paying attention. They are listening to the words you say.
They are evaluating your body language. They are absorbing the negative energy and most of all, they are learning HOW to handle conflict in their relationships with their peers, with you, and at some point, with their significant other.

Chaos in the home creates an inner turmoil for everyone, including your children. When life at home feels out of control, children will attempt to control what they can. They may become hypervigilant, obsessive compulsive or completely withdrawn.

How do you and your spouse handle conflict? Is there criticism? Are you both defensive? Is the mocking, contempt, or does one of you just shut down and walk away?

When conflict is addressed from a place of love, your children learn healthy ways to communicate.

What are you teaching your children?

Follow for more relationship and mental health tips.

When your spouse shares a story with you, he/she is making a bid for connection.

Your lack of interest not only say “I don’t care about this”, but it says “I don’t care about you” from your partner’s perspective.

What is a bid for connection?

Picture this- you and your spouse are driving in the car. Your spouse starts to tell you about something he/she read about today on Facebook.

By starting this conversation, he/she is making a bid.

You are totally uninterested so you grunt a little and keep looking out the window.,
This is “turning away”.
You have not only said “Ugh I don’t care about this”, but your partner perceives this as
“I don’t care about you”

Now, the same scenario.

You still don’t care about the topic on Facebook.

But you respond by saying, “huh, that is interesting, what about this did you find most interesting?”

You have just turned toward your spouse, you said “I care about you and want to hear what interests you”.

You opened communication and a line of dialogue to learn more about your partner’s interests right then.

You may not be interested in everything your partner has to say.
But you are interested in your partner.
A 5 minute discussion about a random topic can build a brand new ritual of connection and may be the difference between an amazing day or a huge fight?

Turn towards!

Therapist | Kelley Sgroi, LMHC Therapist and Lifecoach | Florida Kelley Sgroi, LMHC, LLC is a Licensed Mental Health Counselor and Life Coach providing a solution focused approach to improve all areas of your life.

Emotional connection- you are wired to need it. You crave it. And the one that you crave it from the most is your partner.
Life gets busy. You rush around getting the kids out of the house for school or camp. You run late for work and settle for a quick peck from your partner. At the end of the day it is get dinner on the table, do homework, laundry..endless monotony. That "honey I'm home" kiss becomes a memory.
At the end of the day, pausing for 6 seconds to hug or kiss your partner creates emotional connection that just the 2 of you share. Anyone can give you a peck on the cheek, right? But together for that 6 seconds is just between the 2 of you.
And let us not forget the release of dopamine that comes from that connection. Dopamine, the feel good stuff. get that going and before you know it you and your partner have re-ignited that intimate level of connection that your relationship has been missing!
Emotional connection can be nurtured anywhere. Next time you are rushing around and pass your partner in the hall, run your hand down her arm, hold hands in the car, hold the dog leash together.
You think that time must be carved out for all of the connecting, but there are a hundred missed opportunities everyday. All you have to do is grab one.

https://traffic.libsyn.com/secure/graybeardchronicles/GBC_Episode_144_-_Aspiring_For_Greatness_with_Kelley_Sgroi.mp3

GBC Episode #144 - Aspiring For Greatness with Kelley Sgroi The Gray Beards have an awesome conversation with Kelly Sgroi. With a career in healthcare that spans over 25 years, a Master's degree in Human Services and licensing in multiple states in Mental Health Counseling, Kelley implements education, years of training, and life experiences into her coachin...

I AM MOVING:

I am moving to a new office in a more central location.

Premier Office Plaza (BMO Harris Bank Building)
1777 Tamiami Trail
Port Charlotte Florida 33948

Suite 303 Office #15

Relationships are hard.
Covid 19 came along and completely changed the dynamic of so many relationships! You were isolated at home together. Some of you had your kids home. Everything was uncertain. Finances were questionable. Life was forever altered.

In the aftermath of the pandemic, and the ongoing uncertainty that continues to present itself, even the strongest of relationships have been shaken.

How did the pandemic effect your life?

Was your relationship altered?

Do you feel like:

❌You can't communicate, you feel like you are walking on eggshells?
❌You used to be best friends, now you barely know each other?
❌You no longer share an emotional connection?
❌You argue about the same issues with no resolution?
❌You feel defensive and under attack instead of supported?
❌You are no longer feeling passionate spending time being intimate?
❌You are headed toward divorce or separation?

All relationships go through challenges. Conflict occurs no matter how well you communicate. Marriages lose passion and grow stale.
The increase in outside responsibilities and activities interferes with your time to connect. But there is a way to maintain closeness, address conflict with compassion and re-ignite passion in your relationship.

The Relationship Re-Boot is a 12 week connection building program, designed to create more unity. clarity, and a sense of belonging in your current relationship.

During the Relationship Re-boot you will:

💓Develop a better understanding of to meet each others needs.
💓Recognize how to communicate without shutting down or becoming defensive.
💓Understand that communication is more important than conflict resolution.
💓Improve your intimate relationship in and outside of the bedroom (not all intimacy means s*x).
💓Learn tools to prevent "relationship relapse" so that you maintain. your emotional connection even during times of high stress
💓Embrace your relationship as a spiritual union.
💓Feel seen, heard and appreciated by your partner

Even if you are separated or considering separation, their is hope. The Relationship Re-boot will help you find your way back to your best friend.

Ask me how.

We have all heard it..”before you can love someone else, you must love yourself”..
I call Bulls**t! Why, because I truly loved my children and my family and my friends even when I hated myself. The difference is that these relationships were not HEALTHY!

My theory is this..you can absolutely love another person even when you don’t even like yourself. BUT the relationship is not going to be healthy. Patterns of insecure attachment and codependency and a whole smorgasbord of other behaviors will eventually appear.

So here’s a thought..fall head over heels in love with YOU first.

And I have the solution. Whether you are still searching for the love of your life or desperately trying to reignite the passion in your current relationship, my 6 week, “Head Over Heels In Love” jump-start will teach you how to stop rejecting yourself and ultimately stop rejecting love.

If you are ready to fall in love all over again or for the first time with complete and utter confidence, then you are going to want to jump in..and fall hard 💜

Comment to get details or see link in bio to message me directly!

Today was one of those days that actually left me frustrated and speechless. I am usually really good at making light of difficult topics, but, as an adult woman in “recovery” from an Eating Disorder, and as a therapist who treats clients struggling to manage EDs, the destructive nature of society’s obsession with physical appearance was front and center in my private practice today ..

Here are some things to keep in mind.. thinness is not a sign of health. “Fatness” is not a sign of illness. Physical fitness does not guarantee longevity.. and starving oneself to gain acceptance and approval is deadly.

Next time you see a friend or loved one who has dropped a significant amount of weight, instead of complimenting the loss, ask the important question “are you ok?”

Happy Monday my friends..As we enter the final week of October 😳 I think it’s only fair that I confess..I used to be the most negative person I know! It was easy to blame my upbringing or the world in general, but truth is, I didn’t know any different and so I did what I knew. But then I learned and the changes were 🤯 ..

When I realized that a growth mindset not only made me view things differently but also made me FEEL differently, I embraced a new way of being. Instead of needing or striving for perfection, which, I hate to tell ya is a illusion..it doesn’t exist! Hard fact right there.. I starting striving for growth .. a little at a time. I stopped focusing on what I couldn’t do and started finding joy in what I could.. and ya know what happened? Many of those “I can’t do it” items became “well will ya look at that..I did it”. It’s not always pretty but it is always worth it! 💚

I would like to tell a story about a really smart, well educated woman 🙋🏼‍♀️ .. who found herself in an abusive relationship. Or several if I am being truly honest. Because until I developed love and respect for myself to choose more wisely, I chose what I thought I deserved..

I had NO idea I was being “abused”. I had never been hit, never been shoved, never even been threatened with physical violence. But I felt small, broken, ashamed of being alive, and confused, so confused. I couldn’t make sense of what was happening. If I was ignored for days at a time like I was completely invisible, I was being screamed at, being told that I was lucky to have that person, that he was the best thing that would ever happen to me and I should be grateful, followed by a barrage of everything that was wrong with me, followed by more ignoring.

The day a friend said to me, “that is abusive” my heart all but stopped. I couldn’t make sense of that. It was at Christmas and I was as excited about putting up the tree as ever. But it was not on the acceptable timeline and I was told I was selfish and only cared about myself and what I wanted. Well, you get the gist…

Emotional abuse is covert and sneaky. It attaches to your pain points, it festers in those old wounds and creates an infection that spreads throughout your body, your mind, like a parasite sucking the life out of you.

Emotional abuse may be more damaging that physical abuse. It destroys self worth and self esteem. I tolerated that abuse for several years and ended up feeling like a shell of a person.. I felt afraid of my own shadow and uncertain of my own right to exist. I felt lost and I felt unable to trust my own intuition let alone trust anyone else.

Emotional abuse is devastating. If my arm was broken I would have walked away.

There is hope. If any of this sounds like you, you are never alone. Follow the link in bio to get support. Ask a friend for help. Do it today. Do you have a story to share? 👇🏻

It’s Finally Friday. Yay.. how was your week? My favorite part of being self employed is the ability to decide “how do you feel today?” “what would you like to wear?” But really, I’m wearing this because I had an MRI and ultrasound related to my previous breast cancer.. it’s been 10 years now and wow, I still get nervous when anything comes up.. today wasn’t bad news but not great news either..

Once you’ve had cancer your mind usually goes to cancer no matter what. Or at least mine does. And when I was diagnosed, the last thing I was thinking about was what’s my reconstruction going to be like in 10 years? I just wanted to be alive in 10 years!!

So I am alive but damn, radiation takes it toll and I can’t seem to keep an implant intact! 🤷🏼‍♀️

So today, I’m gonna get out and live my life on this beautiful day, I won’t give this situation another thought and be forever 🙏🏻 grateful for 10 years and a great surgeon who will have the answers! What are you grateful for today

There was a period of time, ok, a half a lifetime really, that found me following what was acceptable..like not wearing white shoes after Labor Day I guess..

One aspect of being confident in this body is that I am not afraid anymore to step out of my comfort zone. Like, living in Florida where it threatens to be 90 today and wearing these really cute booties from … also I would never wear them with cropped pants in my life but these from are so comfie…

Whatever comes my way these days I embrace.. whatever life throws at me, I’m ready…

How do you step out of your comfort zone?

Remembering that anxiety is the body's way to keep you alert and aware, especially when there is immediate danger helps keep the anxiety from turning to panic..especially if there is no reason to be afraid. Practicing grounding techniques can help calm the fight or flight response.

Are you familiar with Attachment Theory?

Attachment Theory indicates that infants develop patterns of attachment based on the availability, consistency and predictability of their caregivers' response to the infants' needs.

10 years ago today
I heard words that stopped me in my tracks and make me question everything about my life…
“You have cancer”…
I remember every single detail about that day..
I had lunch with my parents and told them no matter what happened I’d be ok
I remember the look in the Med assistants’s face when she called my name and asked me if I had come alone
I remember sitting in the paper towel gown reminding myself that I had a 50/50 chance of it being negative
But I already felt it in my being. I knew the answer
I remember the doctor coming in and telling me
“Both areas are cancer, let’s meet in my office and chat”
Before I got dressed I grabbed my phone and texted my dear friend Julie Montafia .. my text said “cancer” her immediate response “f-k” (yes I see sores that for fb purposes)
I sat while the doc gave me the details of what to expect next..
I left and knew in a matter of minutes I had to tell my 13 year children that I had breast cancer.
It’s funny I remember these details as I don’t remember what i ate yesterday.. but news like that has a way of sticking with you.
The next few weeks were a blur..surgeons, plastic surgeons, oncologists, blood work, mri’s …decisions. And then surgeries, chemo, surgeries, radiation and then boom.. thrown back into real life with the expectation that life goes on as it was… after all, my 10 year survival rate was 90%!!

And here it is..10 years, 2 days away from my 51st birthday. My life has changed so much since then and because of then.

I’ve experienced endless amounts of hope and shared what I hope is endless amounts of hope..

I have experienced the devastating news of another life taken way too soon. Another sister who has lost the battle. Survivors remorse is real.. and so is the fear that follows, what if???

2 months after I finished treatment I walked in the Komen 3-Day with dear friends and fellow survivors .. 60 miles, 3 days. I don’t think I have to explain how moving an experience like this is. That’s me there in the picture.. my hair barely grown in, holding a strangers hand, in a sea of pink. A stranger, but family. That is what moved me the most. We are bound together by the same things.. disbelief, fear, determination and hope. Even the families who are walking in memory of a loved one.. we are one and the same. This moment here depicts my cancer journey.. I was extremely emotional and overwhelmed at that moment and many others.. but standing there in that pink paradise will be forever etched in my heart.

Today as I embark on another day, cancer free, God willing, I vow to continue to inspire, empower and support women in whatever journey they find themselves on. Cancer taught me that life is fragile, and precious, and once the time passes it does not come back, at least not in this physical lifetime. Cancer is mot prejudiced.. it doesn’t care if you are young or old, black, white, purple or polka dot, it cares not if you are a woman or a mom, or a man and a dad. It doesn’t care if you are the breadwinner or if you stay home and care for your family. It doesn’t think twice about whether others are depending on you.. we are all fair game. Cancer does not discriminate!

I am embrace today with humility and gratitude. I have been given 10 more years with my parents, with my children, with my friends, to experience the lessons that were presented with those no longer in my life, and the opportunities that have arisen since I learned (sometimes kicking and screaming) those lessons.

Life is not always easy or fair.. life sometimes takes us down some paths we wish we had avoided. Life is so short and there is no time to regret, to blame, to get stuck in the “why me”… had I gotten stuck back then, I wouldn’t have learned all that I needed to learn and could never have grown the way I was always meant to.. I was given the gift of life..with that gift I made a promise to live it for all of those who were a gone. My heart goes out to those we’ve lost and their families, my heart goes out to anyone struggling with this life altering diagnosis and their family. My passion is to inspire you with hope.. no matter how hopeless things seem. Live, love and fight… we are all in this together. 💗

Once upon a time there was a girl..
She was really just like many other girls,
But she didn't realize that until much, much later.
She was shy and awkward.
She liked to be alone.
She felt out of place in and didn't really know where she belonged.
She knew she was different, and different wasn't a good thing.

She grew up and tried to fit in.
She followed the masses.
Wore the clothes, got the latest haircut, went to the parties where the popular people were.
She took risks, and was impulsive. She made bad decisions and didn't trust herself (or anyone else).
She molded herself to be just like everyone else.
But still she didn't feel happy. She still felt different.

One day, sooo many years later she had had enough!
Her soul screamed to her "I am here".
She listened.
She got honest with herself.
She took ownership of her life.
She stopped searching outside of herself
And started looking in the mirror and asking herself
Some really tough questions.

She is me.
And if you know me now you may find it hard to believe.
But there was a time that I was so insecure
And my self esteem was so low
I threw myself head first into an eating disorder.
I used alcohol as a way to feel "social" and "like I belonged".
I looked like I had it all together, from the outside anyway (eating disorders are good like that😕).
But inside I was a less than beautiful disaster.

The work was hard, but it was worth it.
Heck, it is still hard and it is still worth it.
The day I took ownership of my own life that little girl began to sing. She began to play and she began embrace being different
Instead of running from that gift.

Once upon a time, the little girl grew up, and she told her story, even the scary parts, so that maybe, one soul would hear it and begin to sing.

She SAVED her failing marriage…
She now knows that...
👉🏻She is much more than a “label”
👉🏻Those limiting beliefs can be overcome
👉🏻She does not need to be controlled by shame
👉🏻The negative voice in her head is a liar
👉🏻Setting boundaries is healthy and necessary
👉🏻Nothing anyone does or says is “personal”
👉🏻How to thrive and not just survive
👉🏻 She is and always has been lovable
👉🏻Her new story is hers to write

If she listened to her family and friends her marriage would be over.
She read every self help book she could get her hands on.
She tried dieting, personal trainers, new hair styles, changing jobs but was still “lost”.
Exploring where her low self esteem came from, overcoming her self doubt and owning her worth from the inside out transformed her relationship with HERSELF and saved her relationship with her husband.

If you are ready to take charge of your own life, and reclaim your own power, now is the time!