Rancho Counseling

I’m sure you’ve heard that the best way to have a great marriage is to never go to bed angry.

It’s concerning to me that couples will literally stay up all night going around and around with the same argument because they are trying to stick to this rule.

I dunno about you but that sounds like a one-way ticket to complete exhaustion and a week of trying to make up for lost sleep.

When couples start working with us not only do they learn how to regulate their emotions, but they understand their body’s warning signals that tell them when they are starting to become dysregulated.

They learn how to call time-outs and how to respect one another’s requests to stop and return to the conversation when they are feeling more in control of their emotions.

Our couples learn how to communicate in a way that makes them feel heard and understood. They learn how to have conflict and still feel connected and loving.

They don’t turn into enemies and they actually come to agreements about the things they are fighting about.

There’s no more pushing things under the rug, walking on eggshells, or silent treatment.

If you want to stop having marathon fights and learn how to improve your communication…

Click the link in our bio and book your free 15-minute phone consultation. We’ll get you started with a couples expert and help you stop the marathon fights that go nowhere.
*

Ketamine Therapy is the process of receiving Ketamine. You can administer it through an IV, a lozenge, or nasal spray. Most Ketamine clinics provide a medical evaluation prior to treatment. Then, the patient arrives and the drug is administered.

Ketamine remains in the system for 45 minutes to 2 hours. During this time, the person feels sedated and has an internal psychedelic experience. Once the experience is over, a chaperone will wheel the patient out to drive them home.

Without appropriate integration, the experience is just an experience. It can be difficult to process the learnings from the experience. It can be difficult to allow them to permeate everyday life.

Ketamine Assisted Psychotherapy (KAP) is more fully supported. The emphasis and focus are on the preparation, intention setting, and integration processes.

The Ketamine Journeys I facilitate are 3-hour sessions. We discuss intentions and practice meditation. I help ease the client into the experience. Once the effects of the ketamine wear off there is plenty of time for clients to return to their bodies and process the experience.

1-3 days following a journey, clients return to my office for an integration session. In this session, we also use aromatherapy. It helps the client remember the learnings they experienced during their journey.

We discuss any insights they’ve had. I also use Brainspotting to anchor in the experience. It helps clients return to the places and feelings they’d like to take away from the experience.

If you’re ready to embark on a transformative journey click the link in our bio to schedule a free 15-minute phone consultation. I’ll answer all your questions and make sure it’s right for you. *
*
*

http://www.ranchocounseling.com/blog/12-ways-to-affair-proof-your-marriage

12 Ways to Affair-proof your Marriage — Rancho Counseling, Therapy for Couples I want to share the nitty-gritty stuff you can do to keep your marriage strong. We're talking about building a fortress against potential relationship hiccups and the devastation of infidelity. So here are 12 things you can do to affair-proof your marriage:

If you read through this list and were able to identify 3 or more areas that you’d like to improve, we want to help! Click the link below to schedule your free 15-minute phone consultation and get your relationship back on track with the right support.

*
*
*

Ready to Explore if Ketamine Therapy or Ketamine Treatment is right for You?

Click the link in our bio to schedule your free 15-minute phone consultation for ketamine therapy. I specialize in Ketamine Assisted Psychotherapy for depression, anxiety, global resets, and couples intensives.

http://www.ranchocounseling.com/blog/avoiding-conflict-in-marriage

Avoiding Conflict in Marriage — Rancho Counseling, Therapy for Couples In the hustle of daily life, finding harmony between obligations and meaningful connections can be a delicate dance. This blog discusses the challenges of saying "yes" when we mean "no" and the impact it can have on the dynamics of our partnerships.

Exploring Ketamine Therapy in Southern California: A Comprehensive Guide

Exploring Ketamine Therapy in Southern California: A Comprehensive Guide — Rancho Counseling, Therapy for Couples Ketamine Assisted Psychotherapy (KAP) offers a profound therapeutic relationship with a psychotherapist alongside the drug experience. Learn the essential questions to ask when seeking KAP, ensuring a tailored and supportive journey.

http://www.ranchocounseling.com/blog/questions-about-marriage-counseling-rancho-cucamonga

FAQs about Marriage Counseling in Rancho Cucamonga — Rancho Counseling, Therapy for Couples Not knowing what to ask can make you just stop in your tracks, but it doesn’t have to! I want you to get the best marriage counseling possible and know the answers to some of the most frequently asked questions to help you on your search.

New blog post! ⭐️

Does this sound like a familiar cycle to you: Do you blow-up, push away, give the silent treatment, and then start speaking again when you have to (because of some shared commitment), and then extend an olive branch somehow and return to homeostasis, until the next time?

I know these cycles so well! I know them because I see them day after day. When couples step into our offices for the first time we always ask them to describe the dance they do when they get into fights and while every couple is unique the cycles sound pretty similar.

Click the link in the bio to read the full post!

*
*
*

http://ranchocounseling.com/blog/when-marriage-feels-hopeless

When Marriage Feels Hopeless — Rancho Counseling, Therapy for Couples Does this sound like a familiar cycle to you: Do you blow-up, push away, give the silent treatment, and then start speaking again when you have to (because of some shared commitment), and then extend an olive branch somehow and return to homeostasis, until the next time?  

http://ranchocounseling.com/blog/marriage-counseling-in-rancho-cucamonga

Why Marriage Counseling is not a Quick Fix — Rancho Counseling, Therapy for Couples Social media and marketing are made to grab our attention and pull on our heart strings. People want to sell us on the notion that we aren't good enough without whatever they have to sell us.  The truth is, I don’t have a quick and easy way for you to have the marriage of your dreams. Marri

http://ranchocounseling.com/blog/marriage-counseling-question-rancho-cucamonga

Questions to ask a Marriage Counselor in Rancho Cucamonga — Rancho Counseling, Therapy for Couples I know how hard it is to find a great therapist! It makes a huge difference in the results you will get when you hire the right marriage counselor, so let's talk about the right questions you need to ask: 

How long have you spent struggling in your relationship? How many nights have you spent crying alone in the dark, while your partner sleeps next to you, wondering when or how things will ever get better? How many times have you had the same argument and gotten the same results - retreating to your corner, alone, hurt, broken, and feeling helpless? 

My guess is way too many. 

But why do we suffer alone, in silence? 

I’ve heard a lot of interesting opinions about why people choose not to share what’s going on in their marriage. Things like, “we agreed we’d never talk to our family about our marital problems because we didn’t want anyone to have a negative opinion about our partner.” 

Or, “you should never tell your friends about negative things happening in your marriage because then they’ll see you as vulnerable and swoop in on your partner.” 

I’ve also heard, “It’s not always bad so I’m afraid it will sound like I’m just trashing my partner.” 

‌ One thing that I’ve learned in doing this work, and in my own healing is that suffering alone can only get you so far. And it isn’t very far. 

It can be difficult to undo those patterns that you’ve learned in your childhood, or push past the myths of talking about problems in your marriage. It’s not easy to reach out and tell someone that you don’t have things under control. It’s humbling, and it’s hard. 

Sometimes it can feel like no one will ever understand the nuances of your relationship. It can be scary to open up and talk about what’s going on because you might be afraid that talking to a therapist might force you to leave or make other life-altering decisions. 

Unless you’re in physical danger, a good therapist will not tell you that you should end your relationship. That’s not our job. 

If you come to couples therapy saying that you want to fix the relationship then a good couples therapist will be focused on helping you do that. 

You don’t have to suffer alone. It can end. You can start to see the light at the end of the tunnel. DM us today!

How long have you spent struggling in your relationship? How many nights have you spent crying alone in the dark, while your partner sleeps next to you, wondering when or how things will ever get better? How many times have you had the same argument and gotten the same results - retreating to your corner, alone, hurt, broken, and feeling helpless? 

‌

My guess is way too many. 

‌

But why do we suffer alone, in silence? 

‌

I’ve heard a lot of interesting opinions about why people choose not to share what’s going on in their marriage. Things like, “we agreed we’d never talk to our family about our marital problems because we didn’t want anyone to have a negative opinion about our partner.” 

‌

Or, “you should never tell your friends about negative things happening in your marriage because then they’ll see you as vulnerable and swoop in on your partner.” 

‌

I’ve also heard, “It’s not always bad so I’m afraid it will sound like I’m just trashing my partner.” 

Read the full blog post through the link in our bio ⬆️ ⬆️
*
*
*

http://ranchocounseling.com/blog/marriage-counseling-rancho-cucamonga

Why are you suffering in silence? — Rancho Counseling, Therapy for Couples How long have you spent struggling in your relationship? How many nights have you spent crying alone in the dark, while your partner sleeps next to you, wondering when or how things will ever get better? How many times have you had the same argument and gotten the same results - retreating to your c

When couples start therapy with us we like to paint a picture of what couples can expect and I typically have a conversation that goes something like this:

In the beginning of couples therapy, the trajectory of relationship satisfaction tends to go up. The fact that you’re both committed to attending provides a sense of hope, and in the beginning most people find it easy to take direction. They dot their I’s and cross their T’s - they do the homework assigned by the therapist and they spend time focusing on important topics in session and learn to talk about things in a different way.

This is mostly behavioral change.

After a couple of months the couple will get into a fight. It is usually a fight about something they’ve been fighting about for a long time in the relationship, and at that point they will revert back to their old patterns.

This fight can feel even worse than before they started therapy.

The reason it feels worse is: people feel like because they are in therapy, they shouldn’t be doing things the old way, and they should “know better,” since they’ve been working hard learning new ways of behaving.

The truth is: this is actually when the real work in couples therapy begins.

This is when couples get to start to understand what is under their behavior.

At this point in time a good couples therapist will help them look beneath the behavior at the various patterns that each partner brings to the table and they will begin to see how those patterns show up in different areas of their lives, including this relationship.

I’m not going to lie to you - this part of the process can be really difficult and it’s when a lot of couples want to quit therapy.

If you’re going from a relationship that rarely or never has conflict, to one that has open dialogue and direct communication then it can be quite eye-opening to make so many changes.

But that doesn’t mean that it’s not for the better.

When couples start therapy with us we like to paint a picture of what couples can expect and I typically have a conversation that goes something like this:

In the beginning of couples therapy, the trajectory of relationship satisfaction tends to go up. The fact that you’re both committed to attending provides a sense of hope, and in the beginning most people find it easy to take direction. They dot their I’s and cross their T’s - they do the homework assigned by the therapist and they spend time focusing on important topics in session and learn to talk about things in a different way.

This is mostly behavioral change.

After a couple of months the couple will get into a fight. It is usually a fight about something they’ve been fighting about for a long time in the relationship, and at that point they will revert back to their old patterns.

This fight can feel even worse than before they started therapy.

The reason it feels worse is: people feel like because they are in therapy, they shouldn’t be doing things the old way, and they should “know better,” since they’ve been working hard learning new ways of behaving.

The truth is: this is actually when the real work in couples therapy begins.

This is when couples get to start to understand what is under their behavior.

At this point in time a good couples therapist will help them look beneath the behavior at the various patterns that each partner brings to the table and they will begin to see how those patterns show up in different areas of their lives, including this relationship.

Once each partner is able to identify the impact of the challenging or maladaptive patterns then they can begin to understand the patterns, understand themselves, and find ways to truly create lasting change in the relationship.

I’m not going to lie to you - this part of the process can be really difficult and it’s when a lot of couples want to quit therapy.

If you’re going from a relationship that rarely or never has conflict, to one that has open dialogue and direct communication then it can be quite eye-opening to make so many changes.

But that doesn’t mean that it’s not for the better.

Here are 5 ways to create a culture of appreciation in your relationship.

1. In order to counteract negativity and conflict in your relationship there should be a 5:1 ratio of positive to negative sentiments that are expressed. For every negative comment or interaction, there needs to be five positive expressions.

2. Expressing appreciation goes a long way. Make it a habit to tell your partner how much you appreciate their help, their kindness, their affection, or anything else that they do that makes you smile.

3. Make it a habit to regularly express gratitude. Say thank you for the little things, and say it often.

4. Maintain respect for your partner even when you disagree. Don't name-call, criticize, or put them down. Talk about your partner positively to others and in front of others.

5. Regularly reach out to your partner to initiate affection. A hug, a hand hold, or a brush of the hair goes a long way. It may not always come naturally, but get in the habit of showing affection when saying hello or good-bye to start.

Like, share, and save this post!
Comment down below with which tip you'll be implementing this week in building the culture of appreciation in your relationship!

*
*
*

http://ranchocounseling.com/blog/can-couples-therapy-make-things-worse-rancho-cucamonga

Can Couples Therapy Make Things Worse? — Rancho Counseling, Therapy for Couples If you’re going from a relationship that rarely or never has conflict, to one that has open dialogue and direct communication then it can be quite eye-opening to make so many changes. But that doesn’t mean that it’s not for the better.

Do you ever get a pit in your stomach when you think about going to work? Or meeting with your boss or a potential client?



Your palms might get sweaty, your throat might feel dry, you might feel nauseous or get that sinking or butterfly feeling in your stomach.



Over the last couple of months these are some of the anxiety symptoms I’ve helped clients clear with Brainspotting. Most of these difficult symptoms cleared after just one session.



One. Session.

You can read the full article about how this works on our blog. Link in the bio ↖️↖️

*
*
*

Do you ever get a pit in your stomach when you think about going to work? Or meeting with your boss or a potential client?

Your palms might get sweaty, your throat might feel dry, you might feel nauseous or get that sinking or butterfly feeling in your stomach.

Over the last couple of months these are some of the anxiety symptoms I’ve helped clients clear with Brainspotting. Most of these difficult symptoms cleared after just one session.

One. Session.

Think about that…
When we help clients find a brainspot and do some deep, focused processing, those old beliefs move from the hind-brain (where they produce mostly involuntary bodily responses) to the prefrontal cortex, and no longer produce physical, fight or flight symptoms.

**I'm talking heading to the office singing to the music all the way there, sitting in a meeting with your thoughts cool, calm and collected, being asked questions and responding without a quiver in your voice, or a second guess, feeling grounded and in your power.** 

These are just a few of the ways my clients have described feeling after their Brainspotting sessions, and this could be you too! 

Does this sound like something you’d like? Do you want to feel more joy, presence, and confidence at work? 

Click the link in our bio and request a free 15-minute phone consultation and our intake coordinator will answer all of your questions about the process, and get you booked with one of our therapists to have you on your way to less Sunday Scarries, and more presence and ability to focus on whatever you’d like to be enjoying instead!

*
*
*

One of the secrets to having a happy, healthy relationship is building a culture of appreciation in your marriage.

Here are five ways to create a culture of appreciation in your marriage: 

1. Remember the 5:1 ratio. In order to counteract negativity and conflict in your relationship there should be a 5:1 ratio of positive to negative sentiments that are expressed. For every negative comment or interaction, there needs to be five positive expressions.
2. Express appreciation. Expressing appreciation goes a long way! Make it a habit to tell your partner how much you appreciate their help, their kindness, their affection, or anything else that they do that makes you smile.
3. Express gratitude. Make it a habit to regularly express gratitude. Say thank you for the little things, and say it often.
4. Show Respect. Maintain respect for your partner even when you disagree. Don't name-call, criticize, or put them down. Talk about your partner positively to others and in front of others.
5. Show affection. Regularly reach out to your partner to initiate affection. A hug, a hand hold, or a brush of the hair goes a long way. If affection does not come naturally to you, start by getting in the habit of showing affection when saying hello or good-bye and move on from there. *
*
*

http://ranchocounseling.com/blog/when-work-causes-anxiety-therapy-rancho-cucamonga

When work causes Anxiety — Rancho Counseling, Therapy for Couples Do you ever get a pit in your stomach when you think about going to work? Or meeting with your boss or a potential client? Your palms might get sweaty, your throat might feel dry, you might feel nauseous or get that sinking or butterfly feeling in your stomach. Read more about how Brainspotting the

Breathwork session for all the healers out there who are wanting to experience this amazing, healing modality! Click the link in our bio to register. Space is limited to 12 attendees and we are half way full!

I don’t love giving couples homework because I know they get busy and forget.

But the point of the homework is to keep them facing one another. To keep them engaged and talking about the things that matter, that will ultimately help improve their marriage.

A lot happens during the course of a week and we recommend weekly therapy. This is when our therapists do their best work and our couples get the best results. It keeps sessions from turning into “catch up” sessions where we just have enough time to talk about all that’s gone on.

Weekly sessions keep the momentum going and couples have an opportunity to do the deeper work that truly creates lasting change.

So even if you forget to do your homework, that weekly session is going to help you dig in and truly focus on your marriage in a way that you likely wouldn’t have if you weren’t carving out the time every week.

*
*
*

http://ranchocounseling.com/blog/will-marriage-counseling-help-timing

Will Marriage Counseling Help? A note about Timing — Rancho Counseling, Therapy for Couples You’ve probably watched the fights getting closer, and closer together, or the distance between you and your partner growing larger and larger as you spend days and days without speaking to one another. You know that things can get better, but you also know that you need guidance to get you to tha

Have you lost your ability to be present?

It happens to many of us. As a society we are over scheduled, over stressed, over worked, and don’t even know how to stop any of it.

But just for today, can you take your time?

Can you be present moment by moment and not hyper focused on the next?

Is there something you can let go of?

Something that you can cancel?

Something you can postpone to give you time to breathe and experience more presence?

*
*
*

Put your hand over your heart and repeat after me: I am love. I am light. I am joy. I am accepted. 💕

Yesterday a client told me maybe he doesn’t know how to love. That really struck me and I had to have a come to Jesus moment. I stopped him mid-sentence and said ohhhh no. No. You ARE love.

Maybe you don’t know how to show love, and maybe you don’t know how to identify love when it’s being given to you because you weren’t taught. But I assure you - you know how to love.

Maybe you don’t know what actions your partner needs to FEEL loved. But I assure you, you can learn those things because at your core, you ARE love.

Maybe you don’t know how to shine brightly because somewhere along the way you were taught it was safer to dim your light. But I assure you - at your core, you ARE light.

Maybe you don’t know how to be in a place of joy because you’ve been taught that all emotions are scary and when you begin to close yourself off to crying, to sadness, or anger you also close yourself off to joy and delight, and excitement.

But I assure you - at your core, you ARE joy.

And maybe you don’t feel like you can take up space where you are in your current relationships. Maybe you’ve been taught that you are too much or too weird or too whatever, but not here.

Here, in this space. In my practice, and in this little corner of the internet, you are accepted. No matter what your hang ups, no matter what the issue. You belong. And you are accepted.

Have a beautiful day and remember this mantra because you can always come back to it if you've lost your way.

You are love.
You are light.
You are joy.
You are accepted.

Namaste 🙏🏽

You may also find yourself looking for things to distract you from feeling the feelings you’re hiding from. Things like drinking 🍷, shopping 🛍️, or working way too much 💼. All of which can potentially lead to more damage for yourself or your relationships.

It isn’t often that we take enough time to just sit with ourselves. To lean in and listen to what our body and our hearts truly need and want.

Therapy can be that hour each week for you. Where you sit down, settle in, and are allowed to just be you. You can discuss your day, your week, or any issue that you feel stuck around.

And your therapist will be there to reflect back to you, to support you, and help you see the patterns in your life that may be keeping you stuck. Your therapist can be like the gentle nudge you need to help you be the best version of yourself. The self you’ve been looking to get back to all along. 💜

🔗 click the link in our bio to book your free 15 minute phone consultation and start working with one of our amazing therapists to walk alongside you on this journey of relationship healing ⬆️ ⬆️

*
*
*