Gregory B Flynn Coaching & Facilitation

How do we live as an archipelago?

Not as isolated islands, but as connected? In community?

Well, the quality of listening that we experience impacts the things we may or may not say.

Our capacity for vulnerability, empathy, understanding is related to the space between us - the relational space.

What is it to slow down and tend to the experience that is emerging *between* us?

Not simply our own, unique experience (though that's important too), but the shared experience.

The experience unfolding in that mysterious *third* thing.

This is the field of relating with others. It is a field that we share. A field that comprises so much more of our lives than we realize.

This is living not as islands, but as an archipelago. Recognizing the connection and the inevitability of our relating.

This is tending to that field.

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We'll explore relating to ourselves and more at our annual retreat at the Whidbey Institute this October 6th - 9th.⁠
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Registration is open!

Here's the link: https://whidbeyinstitute.org/.../1171/relate-reflect-renew/
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Join us!

How we relate to ourselves matters.⁠
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The quality of our relating. The level of care. ⁠
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The willingness to accept where we are for what it is - without judgement or criticism. Without overlaying shame.⁠
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Taking the time to check in with the one person who is guaranteed to be with us in every situation.⁠
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That matters.⁠
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How I relate to myself matters.⁠
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How you relate to yourself matters.⁠
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Indeed, if that's the *only* thing we end up tending to today, well, that's probably pretty good.⁠
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And . . . there's more, isn't there?⁠
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After all no *person* is an island. ⁠
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No, we're a freakin' archipelago.⁠
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* * *⁠
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We'll explore relating to ourselves and more at our annual retreat at the Whidbey Institute this October 6th - 9th.⁠
⁠
Registration is open!

Here's the link: https://whidbeyinstitute.org/event/1171/relate-reflect-renew/

Took this pic on a beach on Whidbey Island.

It was gorgeous out there.

That is all.

So. I launched a thing. Here's what I said about it on the 'gram:

I've been there.

Feeling . . .

🚫 Stuck
🧔🏻‍♂️ Isolated
🤷🏻‍♂️ Unsure

And when someone suggested joining a men's group I was like. . .

⁉️ Maybe?

That's why I created Step Zero - a free 10-day email program for men who want to move from isolated and stuck toward reaching and connecting.

It's not the whole journey, it's just a place to start. A place where you can take care of you, on your terms.

What it looks like:

📆 10 days
📪 5 emails
🕺 Your terms

No commitment. No cost.

But what's the cost of *not* stepping into the work? *Your* work?

Ready to take this step? Sign up now!

Diving into the Lensa craze, this AI generated avatar of me is one of my favorites.

(There are, for sure, lots of reasons to be skeptical about this technology. That said, this is kind of amazing).

It's how I'm feeling right now. In some ways, it feels like it's how I'm moving through the world.

Many who know me would probably be surprised by that.

And I have to say, it's because of this work. It's because of the circles of men—and others—that I've been in. It's because of the experience I've had looking within in order to express who I am.

I'm not done. None of us is.

As Richard Bach wrote: “Here is a test to find whether your mission on Earth is finished: If you´re alive it isn't.”

Interested in some of this? Hit the link in my bio to sign up for my newsletter and learn more about how to plug in.

It's been a minute since I've posted here.

Partly because, well, I'm not a huge fan of the socials (*you're* great. it's the platform).

Partly because I've been busy as f&%k. I'll post more about what I've been busy about, hopefully.

One of the things I've been busy with is turning 50. I took this photo at 2:36pm on 11/11/22. That's exactly 50 years after I popped out.

There wasn't a photo of my birth. If there had been, I'd've done one of those 'how it started, how it's going things'.

On this side of my 50th, I'm more committed than ever to the work I'm doing. Every day I get more committed.

Want to learn more about it? Hit the link in my bio to sign up for my newsletter. There's a bunch of stuff coming.

I'd love to connect with you there!

It's been a long time in the making, and I *finally* have the space to get this up here on Facebook.

The long and the short: My good friend and colleague Shannon and I have launched our new podcast – Disrupting our Practice. It's made for white-bodied organization development coaches, facilitators, consultants, trainers, etc. who are interested in exploring the ways that we unwittingly perpetrate racism and oppression in our work.

It's also probably good for leaders and others who are used to holding, facilitating, and controlling space.

New episodes drop every Tuesday.

Links to each of the various podcast platforms are below.

We're trying to make this a very personal journey, as neither of us see ourselves as experts in this. It's our goal to normalize the conversations we don't see happening a whole lot, and to wrestle with some intense questions. We share our experiences and stories and the learnings we've had (and continue to have). Pretty soon we'll be releasing our first discussion with a guest. Stay tuned!

Please give it a listen and let us know how it lands for you. We *love* your feedback (we even have a Google form in the show notes you can use to send us feedback directly).

Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/disrupting-our-practice/id1648221075

Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/0ZS3WnfDhSivHdv43A7mo5

Google Podcasts: shorturl.at/swRZ4

Stitcher: shorturl.at/bhtD8

Overcast: https://overcast.fm/itunes1648221075

What heading out for retreat looks like. Maybe you can join us next year?

Autumn's here.

(Well, in the Northern Hemisphere)

I find the pivots of the season to be a good time to stop and reflect.

Sitting at the base of a tree isn't a bad place to do it.

How about for you?

New group alert!

Are you (or do you know) a man who would find value in peer support? Who could use a group of guys to lean on? To learn how to be more vulnerable in our lives?

One of the things I hear the most from guys is that they "don't have anywhere to talk about this stuff."

I know, for myself, starting to circle up with other men and be supported around what was happening in my inner world was a game changer.

This is for you (or a guy in your life if):

✅ You're feeling isolated in life, you don't have folks close to you to talk to.
✅You have a hard time connecting to or expressing emotions.
✅ You feel like you aren't where you thought you should be in life. You feel behind.
✅ You aren't sure of your place in the world anymore.
✅ You feel like a failure, and you're sure you're the only one.

This is not for you if:
❌ You just want to complain and point fingers.
❌ The only thing you're interested in is women (or others!) and money.
❌ You have no interest in growing in your life.
❌ You just want to intellectualize and deny feeling.

The new group starts in September. There are still a couple of spots left.

Learn more here: http://gregorybflynn.com/men-connecting

Saturday night my wife and I went out to dinner, and then went to the beach to feel the water on our feet, listen to the (small) waves, and to see the beauty of our region. It felt almost "normal" (whatever that means – now or ever).

This is just a post to return to this space, share a lovely memory, and encourage folks who might be interested to sign up for my newsletter. Link in bio.

Cheers!

Current work set up.

It's nice to have a nice spot to do some thinking and to put some of that thinking down on paper. Grateful to my friend Leo for having access to this beautiful spot.

Spending part of the afternoon thinking through what's really at the heart of my work with men (really, *all* of my work if I'm being honest. And, yeah, being honest is on that list of principles).

Excited about what's possible—informed by what I've seen in the guys I've had the good fortune to work with over the years.

Looking forward to what's coming.

Interested in learning more about men's groups or coaching for men?

Check out: http://gregorybflynn.com/supporting-men

I'd love to connect about it.

I've been thinking some about decision making and how we approach it.

Frankly, it's something that comes up in my coaching and groups fairly regularly.

What happens when we move beyond simply listening to our minds? What happens when we expand the kinds of information that's informing what we're doing? What happens when we question our understanding of, um, understanding?

So, I wrote about it. Check it out here: https://www.gregorybflynn.com/thoughts/understand-what-exactly

Have any interest in receiving little nuggets like this in your inbox? Sign up for my newsletter. You can do that here: https://www.gregorybflynn.com/2021-newsletter

Jobs. Relationships. Living situations. Finances. Health.⁠
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I don't know about you, but I've been seeing and hearing a ton about transitions lately.⁠
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I wish that there were simple answers to how to navigate them. I do think there are things we can do, things that help us to develop the muscles we need to move through transition. I'll share a few here in the form of some questions.⁠
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1. Who are your people?⁠
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Are you someone who tends to try to “go it alone?” No worries if you are, it's pretty common in our very individualistic culture. That said, when we are in the free-fall of a transition, I'm not sure there's anything more grounding than the people in our lives we can turn to in the trickiest of times. ⁠
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I'm not talking about people who will try to help us bypass, or tell us that "everything will be fine." I'm talking about the people with whom we can completely fall apart, whose arms we can be held in, and who will still be there when we reemerge, with a whole new lease on life.

Do you have some of those people? They're keepers for sure.⁠
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2. What's your capacity for discomfort?⁠
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I don't know about you, but it's taken me some time to develop my capacity to be in discomfort. In fact, there are a plenty of ways in which my capacity for discomfort is still pretty low. ⁠
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That said, transitions and discomfort go hand-in-hand, meaning I if I want to learn and grow, I should probably get used to being uncomfortable. Of course, that doesn't mean liking it.⁠
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3. What's your relationship to grief?⁠
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I'll be honest, when I started thinking this through, this was the first question that came up for me, and it surprised me. Then I started thinking more about the transitions that have happened in my life, and it hit me—transition always requires letting go. And letting go is hard.⁠
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This is even true when the transition is a good thing in our life (and, yeah, a job loss or a divorce can be a good thing. So can a wedding, or a new career, of course). Any time we step into transition, we will be called upon to let go of some part of ourselves. And within that letting go will be grief.

Read the full post here: https://www.gregorybflynn.com/thoughts/somethings-in-the-air

Let me know how this lands for you. Comment below!

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