Talking Possibilities

Reposting

with

Too good to only post as a story!

The Can be especially difficult for those who have lost a loved one.

This based support group starts December 5.

Does the loss of a loved one have you dreading the holidays? This in-person, Los Angeles-based support group is starting December 5.

Grief Group — Aimee Beyers Psychotherapy This group is intended to support adults who have experienced the death of a loved one. The group applies creative processing, storytelling, and peer support while embracing the many unique relationships to grief.

A beautiful example of how relationships can live and grow even beyond death.

Thread by @samsanders on Thread Reader App : Wishing both my deceased father AND my memory of him a Happy Father’s Day. He’s been gone for 20 years, but the record of him I keep in my mind and heart has beautifully shapeshifted...

“The Earth is not flat, and I am not a tragedy.”

Such an important and brilliant presentation.

Listen to the whole thing. The bit about being disabled is 🔥.

https://youtu.be/A1AUdaH-EPM

“We were living into being the story we wanted to be telling…”

Libby Hoffman in “The Answers Are There” about the work of Catalyst for Peace and Fambul Tok

Screens screens screens
I’m often asked about children’s gaming and screen time. Here’s what I see.

When parents talk to me about gaming and screens, it’s always about fear. ‘Will they get addicted?’ they ask me. ‘I can’t control my own use, how can a child do it?’. They want me to tell them how to control their children’s screen time without conflict, how to tell them to switch it off without it turning into an argument.

There’s so much fear that we have no time to talk about the benefits. So here are some of the things I see.

I see children who don’t feel competent anywhere else in their lives, feeling good about themselves when they play video games. I ask them about their gaming and they come alive. I download the games myself and we chat about strategy. They often can’t believe an adult is interested.

I see young people who are really isolated, starting to make connections through online gaming. They can start by in-game typing and then move into voice chat. The shared game takes the pressure off, and they can relate.

I meet young people who can regulate their emotions with their tablet, taking some time out in their day to put on headphones and sink into their safe zone, meaning that they can carry on afterwards. It’s such a useful and portable way to take some time out. All that’s necessary is for the adults to understand why it’s important, and to help them find a space to do so.

I do also see young people whose lives are difficult, and they use gaming to avoid their thoughts and feelings. Their parents worry & start to put in bans. The thing is, the gaming is the solution they’ve found, not the cause. Bans won’t solve that, and they can drive wedges between parents and children. It’s the difficult life we need to change, and one way to start is to nurture the relationships with their parents, and to build on the things which are good.

I meet many parents who say they have no idea what their children do on their devices, that ‘screen time’ is time for them to get on with other tasks. They treat screens in quite a different way to their children’s other passions. They don’t see it as worthy of their time.

Some of them will say they refuse to pay for games, meaning their children are only able to play ‘free’ games which are advert-heavy and whose game play is usually skewed towards having to buy gems or crystals. This means young people are stuck playing games which are designed to make them spend money, whilst not being able to spend money. A situation designed for frustration. A small amount of money on a high quality game can be well worth the cost.

When I suggest to parents that they spend time with their children on screens, they return surprised. ‘We had no idea that they were doing so many things’ Or ‘they are building games or learning how to code’. It’s not longer the ‘screen time’ bogeyman, it’s real life.

For there’s more to this than games and screens. How we talk about our children’s passions affects our relationship with them. When we demonise screens, we risk demonising the things our children love. We denigrate their choices. We give them the message that the things they value aren’t worth the time, that they can’t be trusted to make decisions.

When we instead join them, we give them the message that we are interested in the things they enjoy. Even if we aren’t interesting in gaming, we can be interested in our young people and what makes them come alive. We can value the joy.

We can learn to play Roblox, or Brawl Stars, or Minecraft, and appreciate the connection that that gives us with our young people. We can ask about their progress and about their new game. We show that we are interested in them.

And from that seed, other things will grow.

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Had a conversation about this yesterday. Helpful framing.

Thread by @Theholisticpsyc on Thread Reader App : People don’t connect childhood trauma to adult behaviors because they don’t fully understand what’s traumatic when you’re a child. As children, we don’t have logic, we only have feelings A thread 🧵...…

Sometimes you’ve got to .

But maybe more support could help. 🤷🏼‍♀️

Fellow therapists, this offering is free and translated versions are being offered in multiple languages: and . Please share with colleagues working with of .

The Impact of War Supporting Recent Trauma through a Compassionate/Relational Gestalt Approach As clinicians we are fully aware of the devastating impact that war and armed conflict has on all of those that are impacted by these atrocious events. The available research shows that PTSD, depression, and anxiety are prevalent in civilians subjected to war. However, trauma persists well after con...

National crisis lifeline going live tomorrow!

Today’s between session reading.

Any guys out there want to push back on the influence of shame in your life?

This group might be a place to start!

Appreciate this piece from

TODAY!! HOY!!!

Honored to be giving a 20-minute keynote tomorrow for my community at foundation! This talk is sponsored by &

Event starts at 1pm pst, 4pm est

Their entire line up is great, and this event is free! Link to register in flyer.

Let me know if you’ll be attending! ⬇️

Julia, a fellow therapist who emigrated from as a child, with her wonderful musical group Paris Chansons is holding a fundraiser for therapeutic resources for children May 11. https://givebutter.com/ParisChansonsBenefit?fbclid=IwAR1rn_PEDeWGkWHQAIvkDalFXUS_eZ5RypdRvS8X4_RC6BUeDh-l-Sm0raA

Paris Chansons performs a benefit concert for Ukraine! By West Hollywood Fundraiser

Celebrating my mom and with ’s . So great to see and Andy Goodman!

isn’t very hard

😂

This looks really interesting.

Mad Mapping: A Guide to Creating an Emotional Safety Plan A workshop facilitated by Fireweed Collective members, Antoinette Chen-See and Lilac Vylette Maldonado.

Happy to support and see . It’s a wonderful film that shows how pets support .

Let’s promote so people don’t have to depend on their to get by.