Dr. Heather Wadeson

This post was a helpful reminder, and I hope it is a helpful reminder for you, too.

When someone responds negatively to you, it is easy to personalize their reaction. Most of the time … it’s not about you. It’s about them.

Have compassion for those who haven’t revisited their story or narrative. Validate the struggle, just try not to get stuck!

If you’re reading this, it was meant for you.

Happy Tuesday!

I hope you can all repeat these affirmations with peace and confidence today. 🫶

Is there anyone else out there that is going through a stormy period of change?

If so, I hope you can find your person, latch on to a memory, or take hold of another anchor during this time.

I’m rooting for you.

Trust! ❤️

Today (8/8) is considered to be an astrological portal day that brings about strong emotions, unexpected events, miracles, and manifestation. For the last few days, the energy has been building. I’m doing my best to be an observer of my thoughts and emotions, and not to make impulsive decisions based on how I feel. Much easier said than done. 😂

As we set forth on 8:8, my message to you is to take note of your emotions. Be an observer. Name them and sit with them. But don’t let them take over. It’s ok to embrace change and growth. It’s a day of new energy, with limitless possibilities. Take the leap of faith. You got this.

Happy 8:8!

Our feelings change minute by minute, second by second. If you’ve practiced self observation you’ll know this.

Here’s an example:

You’ve made a really hard decision to speak a truth to someone. Right afterwards you feel terrified. Sitting alone at home, you start to feel confident. yes! I did it. About an hour later, you’re in the kitchen and you have feeling of regret or shame. “Was I too harsh?” “Why did I say it like that?” “I think I made the wrong decision.” By bedtime you’re neutral. You don’t feel great about it, but you don’t feel awful either.

Feelings change. Throughout a single day we can feel countless different things. And, just because we feel something doesn’t always mean it’s true. For example, we might feel guilty or like we’re selfish for setting a boundary. In reality, we made a healthy choice.

This is why it’s important to learn how to *observe* our emotions. How to let them come and go. How to not react to them, but instead make CONSCIOUS CHOICES in alignment without values.

When we make conscious choices in alignment with who we want to be in this world—we create self confidence.

We jump off the emotional roller coaster, the up-and downs of letting temporary feelings guide our permanent choices

I think this is quite accurate because after I read it, I felt seen! No! Damn! Is that what advice REALLY is?

As a therapist I don’t typically “give advice” unless I am asked directly or when I ask if I can offer some.

Therapy is about learning skills that will help your throughout your lifetime. Advice is situational and often depends on the person.

I included a short list of my own. If you want to call it advice, go for it! I like to see it as building awareness of healthy behaviors and boundaries.

- When everything feels out of control, remember to breathe.

- It’s not always about you, so don’t personalize.

- Communicate, communicate, communicate. Don’t expect others to mind read or know what you need. It doesn’t have to be a “confrontational” showdown. Talking about your feelings and experiences should be a normal occurrence, but many people see it as a weakness. I promise, it’s a strength.

- Learn to trust in yourself and your intuition. You and your body know what’s best for you.

What’s the best advice you have ever received? Share in the comments!

We all do this. Humans are walking projectors. We project our own experience, our framework, and our past onto the present moment.

Does this mean don’t listen to advice? No. In my view, it’s always worth listening. It widens our perception. It allows us to see things a new way. We can learn something from everything we hear— including something from the emotional reaction we have from hearing it.

Zoom out. Observe the messenger. Listen. Think about it. Reflect. Use discernment.

Take what feels right in your body. Leave what doesn’t.

When you’re paying attention, you’ll see most people are actually speaking to past versions of themselves when speaking to you

For everyone who is on their own journey and may be doubting their process, growth, or if they are truly doing the work, this one is for you ❤️

I love helping people find ways to love themselves again.

We weren’t all given the tools to know how to love ourselves. As adults, we can learn to re-parent ourselves and find the love we have always deserved. ❤️

I felt this in my soul.

When I think about who I was 5 or 10 years ago is a completely different version of myself.

I wasn’t “better” or “worse”. Just different.

I have more knowledge, experiences, and self-love. Even though it hasn’t been easy, I wouldn’t change a thing.

I hope I continue to grow throughout my life.

Embrace your change.

No one’s version of you will be a true reflection of who you are in this very moment.

I share quotes daily on my Instagram 👉 https://bit.ly/3mJmK5B

Thank you to all of the people who have given me the privilege of hearing your story. It truly is a privilege to walk beside you and witness your beautiful transformation.

While in session with my clients, I only get to hear one side of someone’s story. I try not to make assumptions, but sometimes it’s hard not to if we don’t have any other information.

Many people tend to personalize a friend’s absence from their lives.

Sometimes it is intentional and the other person’s absence is a way of putting distance between them. One of them unknowingly hurt, offended, or caused a rupture in the relationship.

Other times, it has nothing to do with the other person. Life happens. We all get busy and distracted in our own stuff. Nothing is wrong in the relationship, but they drift apart.

Personally, if I check in with someone more than once (about their behavior or perceived absence), it’s because I feel their energy is disconnected from mine, or maybe their energy has shifted from their normal vibration. It’s subtle, and oftentimes others don’t notice. One of the difficulties with being an Empath is sensing the shifts that others cannot see.

I often have to remind myself that if someone does not reach out or respond to me, it’s not always about me. If and when it is about me, it is not a personal failing if the other person does not share their feelings, thoughts, or concerns. I try to give everyone the benefit of the doubt that they will approach me if there is a problem. I also hope that others will give me the benefit of the doubt.

I hope you can remind yourself to stay curious and not personalize someone needing emotional space. Ask once, and then allow them to tell you whether it’s about you or not.

Tag someone who gives you emotional space.

It’s such a gift to receive and should be acknowledged

I don’t know who needs to read this, but let me know if you find it helpful!

I love this! Doing hard things IS hard.. at first. But not doing them is harder.

Just remember: You can do hard things!

Hello! I am excited to announce that I am newly trained in Accelerated Resolution Therapy (ART)! Only a couple of other providers in the Springfield area are doing this treatment.

It is an amazing treatment with even more amazing results. If you are curious about ART, check out this quick news story.

As I am working on my Basic ART certification, I need to have 30 cases. On my first day back from training, I have one under my belt already.

If this sounds like something you might be interested in, let me know.

I can’t wait to share this tool. 😊

What's Accelerated Resolution Therapy (ART)? Accelerated Resolution Therapy (ART) is a short-term treatment can lead to positive changes after just one session - now at CHR!www.chrhealth.org

I think I have always had a tendency to be the “fixer”. I only really understood this pattern by doing the work. I was repeatedly trying to fix the same types of people. Fixing seemed to give me a purpose… until I realized I did not need to earn my love through fixing or helping. ❤️

To all my helpers, healers, and HSP’s out there, this one is for you!

If you’ve been feeling a little lost or uncertain about yourself and identity, maybe it’s because you’ve been focusing too much energy on others around you.

If you need more help with getting back in touch with your true self and identity, I highly recommend checking out my Neurocycle app. It’s designed to help to rewire your brain and find your unique mind identity. For more info on the app: https://www.neurocycle.app

This. The work. It’s everything. It can be big and daunting, and it can also be beautiful and empowering. You got this.

What is the greatest lesson you‘ve learned on your journey?

Finish this sentence: “THE GREATEST LESSON I’VE LEARNED ON MY JOURNEY IS ___________.”

Simple and effective ways to say no and set boundaries. Bookmark for future use!

These are SO helpful for us and our students!

From Positively Present

Lately I have found myself becoming more aware of decision fatigue and now analysis paralysis shows up in my own life. How has analysis paralysis affected you?

Just a reminder: you don’t need to play a role because it’s what you think you “should” do. Pay attention to YOUR needs, YOUR feelings, and YOUR intuition.

This was too good not to share!

All of this rings true for myself, as well as many of the patients I work with. It’s hard to hold space for our emotions when we have been taught they don’t matter. In a codependent family, if you aren’t ok, then I’m not ok. This is even more difficult for highly sensitive people (HSPs) or empaths. If you know anyone who is looking for ways to build self-trust and learn ways to get in touch with their emotions, I would be honored to work with them.