The Balance Tree

• Learn more about our Explain The Pain Coaching Package - https://www.thebalancetree.com.au•

Physical pain is often created or maintained by emotional triggers.

Have you ever had “butterflies in your stomach”? Most of us know this feeling and it’s catalyst - stress or nerves. This is a physical reaction (the upset stomach) to an emotional trigger (stress/nerves). When you ignore or fear an emotion, it often manifests into a physical reaction within your body.

Through and , we can help you heal.

𝐋𝐄𝐓'𝐒 𝐓𝐀𝐋𝐊
Our unconscious mind cannot process negatives.
Saying what 𝑛𝑜𝑡 to do just conjures up an image of what 𝐭𝐨 𝐝𝐨 first! Our brain has to understand the thing before we can disengage from it.

Communicating with positive language and being clear on what you 𝑑𝑜 𝑤𝑎𝑛𝑡 decreases confusion and ambiguity whilst building productivity and clarity. To get the most out of your teams, managers, friends and family use positive and productive language.

Gain time, get organised, set goals and be productive with our 'Time Budget' Online Workshop - https://www.thebalancetree.com.au

𝐋𝐄𝐓'𝐒 𝐓𝐀𝐋𝐊
𝐴𝑔𝑟𝑒𝑒𝑚𝑒𝑛𝑡 𝑜𝑟 𝑇𝑎𝑘𝑒𝑜𝑣𝑒𝑟?

When you are trying to get your message across do people feel like you are expressing your view whilst respecting their opinion or that you completely take over and push your message across to anyone who will listen? 😬

If you're not the Takeover type I'm sure you have experienced being on the other side of a pushy, opinionated person who cannot or will not listen to your thoughts and views. And, as we all know, it's not pleasant. Nor does it allow for growth, inclusion or productivity.

We can't change others but we can certainly learn more about effective communication and be an example to those around us. To assist with creating conversations that are balanced and open let's look at Agreement Frames.

Agreement Frames aren't about agreeing with everything the other person says and you backing down from 𝑦𝑜𝑢𝑟 view. To the contrary! Being the People Pleaser or Yes Person is certainly not the way to a Balanced and Effective Life! Agreement Frames are about giving respect to the other person's opinion whilst, at the same time, expressing yours. It's about avoiding resistance from the other person, in order to keep them involved in the conversation and open up new ideas.

The three Agreement Frames are:
I appreciate ...
I agree ...
I respect ...

If someone tells you "I'm too busy to keep coming to meetings every week" you could respond with
"Everyone is busy - I need you to make the effort!" OR you could use an Agreement Frame:
"𝐼 𝑎𝑝𝑝𝑟𝑒𝑐𝑖𝑎𝑡𝑒 you are busy and as I value your input I'd love you to come each time."
"𝐼 𝑟𝑒𝑠𝑝𝑒𝑐𝑡 that you have a big workload at the moment and it would be great if you could attend every fortnight."
"𝐼 𝑎𝑔𝑟𝑒𝑒, you have a lot going on at the moment, and I would love you to share your findings next week with the others."
You can see the difference between the first response - putting your opinion across and shutting the other person down - and the Agreement Frame options.

It's important that when you say I appreciate, I agree or I respect, that you sincerely and legitimately do! You need to be sincere in your approach and choose your words carefully for this to be a win-win for all parties. Your goal is for the other person to feel listened to and to keep the lines of communication open and respectful.

I'd love to hear about your experiences with the Agreement Frames and what differences they made to your conversations.

Find Happiness Today - https://www.thebalancetree.com.au

Our Passion Purpose Plus program helps you discover what drives and motivates you and how to achieve the best life for you!

𝐋𝐄𝐓'𝐒 𝐓𝐀𝐋𝐊
𝐻𝑜𝑤 𝑑𝑜 𝑦𝑜𝑢 𝑏𝑢𝑖𝑙𝑑 𝑟𝑎𝑝𝑝𝑜𝑟𝑡?

We hear about the importance of building rapport all the time, don't we. We know it's a great resource and a much-needed asset but how do we actually do it?

There are a variety of techniques you can use, some easy and some complicated, so I'd like to share with you some quick, easy and effective ones to get you started.

𝐌𝐀𝐊𝐄 𝐄𝐘𝐄 𝐂𝐎𝐍𝐓𝐀𝐂𝐓: Sounds easy but it can also get a little awkward - how long, how often, can I blink???? The important thing is to stay face-to-face. Try not to constantly look down, don't look at your phone/computer, or be distracted by movement around you or behind them. This is just as important on a video call as it is in real life. Honour the person's presence by being present.

𝐂𝐎𝐏𝐘 𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐈𝐑 𝐁𝐑𝐄𝐀𝐓𝐇𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐑𝐇𝐘𝐓𝐇𝐌: This is easier in person as you can see and hear their breathing pattern although can be achieved if you are online. This very simple exercise brings you both into alignment. It is also very powerful if the person is agitated/upset and their breathing is heightened. By breathing with them initially and then slowing down your own rhythm, they too will begin to calm down. This works brilliantly with children by the way!

𝐔𝐒𝐄 𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐈𝐑 𝐋𝐀𝐍𝐆𝐔𝐀𝐆𝐄: This is a little trickier and takes a bit of practice but it's a fun one. Listen to their language - do they use:
visual words like "I 𝐬𝐞𝐞 today is ...", "Now, 𝐥𝐨𝐨𝐤 ..." or perhaps auditory language like "I 𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐫 that ...", "𝐒𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐝𝐬 great" or maybe they are tactile, saying things like "𝐇𝐨𝐥𝐝 on ...", "I 𝐟𝐞𝐞𝐥 that ..." or is it a logical way of speaking like "I need to 𝐝𝐞𝐜𝐢𝐝𝐞", "I 𝐮𝐧𝐝𝐞𝐫𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐧𝐝 that ...". These are all clues as to how they process the world around them. If you can match their "language" they will see/hear/feel understood!

I'd love to hear about your experiences with these three rapport builders and if you tried them face-to-face or online.

Struggling with WFH life?

Having structure and self-motivation are key to being productive and disciplined when working from home. Our tips will help you!

Download your free copy of our latest PDF - https://www.thebalancetree.com.au

Your body knows what to do; it is geared to heal itself. Bowen therapy is a unique, state-of-the-art therapy that stimulates your own self-healing capacity. There is nothing like it in the world!

For more information, follow us on Instagram and Facebook at the Natural Therapy Institute.

𝐋𝐄𝐓'𝐒 𝐓𝐀𝐋𝐊
𝐷𝑟𝑒𝑎𝑚𝑒𝑟 𝑜𝑟 𝐷𝑒𝑡𝑎𝑖𝑙𝑒𝑟?

Are you a Dreamer - someone who can visualise, imagine and see the big picture?
Or are you a Detailer - someone who likes the nitty-gritty, the details and a spreadsheet?

Although we can display both ways of thinking, most of us lean towards one or the other. Why is this important? Because if you know which one you are, then you will better understand how you convey your message to others, what you expect from a situation, and how you process information. Imagine what insights you will have if you know which one your boss, partner, colleague, child is!

If you are a Dreamer and you're in a meeting filled with Detailers then you are going to be very frustrated when you begin to share your long-term vision and all they are asking for is a detailed budget!

When you know yourself and your audience you will experience balanced and effective communication, greater productivity and a more harmonious environment.

Try it today - listen to the words your colleagues use. Is it around detail, spreadsheets, budgets and timelines or is it around vision, imagery, creativity and looking out? Be curious about who you're talking with and embrace the change!

I'd love to hear your experiences and whether you are a Dreamer or a Detailer.

In these changing times, it is more important than ever to believe in yourself.

Take your first step and book your Clarity Conversation today - https://calendly.com/tbt-jaye/clarity-conversation

𝐋𝐄𝐓'𝐒 𝐓𝐀𝐋𝐊
𝐼𝑓 𝑎𝑛𝑑 𝑇ℎ𝑒𝑛 - 𝑇ℎ𝑖𝑠 𝑤𝑎𝑦 𝑜𝑓 𝑡ℎ𝑖𝑛𝑘𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑘𝑒𝑒𝑝𝑠 𝑦𝑜𝑢 𝑠𝑡𝑢𝑐𝑘!

I was recently speaking with a client who was keen to lose weight, eat healthier meals, exercise more and, in general, be healthier. I guided her through some processes to help her understand what she needed to reach these "health" goals. In all her thinking this "if and then" scenario kept forcing its way through - IF I lose weight THEN I'll be able to exercise ... IF I lose weight THEN I'll have more energy to prepare healthier meals ... IF I lose weight THEN I'll be happier ... IF I lose weight THEN ... Can you hear her logic!?

Everything she wanted to achieve was being blocked by the thought that losing weight had to be the first step. And yet, it was all the other steps that would help her to lose the weight! This limiting belief that her weight was holding her back from everything else was stopping her from doing everything else! Can you see how we do this do ourselves - thinking that we can only have one thing if something else happens.

Well ... what if ... we can have it all? And it all comes down to adding one little word to our vocab. Whilst.

I will exercise whilst losing weight
I will lose weight whilst having more energy
I will be happy whilst losing weight
I will lose weight whilst being happy

Can you feel the shift that this brings? We are giving ourselves permission to work in harmony with our goals.
So, focus on your ability to solve your own problems by being curious, being positive, looking for other options and knowing what it is that's holding you back.

I would love to hear back from you when you try this for yourself!

Need extra help with your IF/THEN? Feel free to contact me.

Identify who and where you want to be and how to get there.

Contact us to book your FREE session - https://calendly.com/tbt-jaye

𝐋𝐄𝐓'𝐒 𝐓𝐀𝐋𝐊
𝐴𝑟𝑒 𝑦𝑜𝑢 𝑎𝑏𝑙𝑒 𝑡𝑜 𝑡𝑎𝑘𝑒 𝑐𝑜𝑚𝑚𝑎𝑛𝑑 𝑜𝑓 𝑎 𝑑𝑖𝑠𝑐𝑢𝑠𝑠𝑖𝑜𝑛 𝑜𝑟 𝑎𝑟𝑒 𝑦𝑜𝑢 𝑙𝑒𝑓𝑡 𝑤𝑜𝑛𝑑𝑒𝑟𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑤ℎ𝑦 𝑛𝑜𝑏𝑜𝑑𝑦 𝑡𝑎𝑘𝑒𝑠 𝑦𝑜𝑢 𝑠𝑒𝑟𝑖𝑜𝑢𝑠𝑙𝑦?

This can apply at work and at home, right!?
😕 You ask for something to be done and everyone looks at you as though you're not being serious
😕 You give a direction and everyone seems confused
😕 You say what you want and everyone pushes back
Have you experienced that?

There is a simple solution and yet it does require a little practice. It's called tonality and it goes like this.

When you are in command your tone goes DOWN 🔻 When it goes up it's received as a question and this is why you are not taken seriously, people are confused and you get push back!
💭Their thought process is "Does she want this or is she ASKING me ... which means I can say NO!"💭

Start taking command and imbue leadership, control and clarity.

Are you wanting to make a change and you're not sure where to start? Let us be your first step.

Explore your options - https://www.thebalancetree.com.au

𝐋𝐄𝐓'𝐒 𝐓𝐀𝐋𝐊
𝐴𝑟𝑒 𝑦𝑜𝑢 𝑡𝑎𝑙𝑘𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑡𝑜 𝑚𝑒?

We all want to be listened to. Whether we're about to say something out-of-this-world profound or to seek a simple request, there is nothing more annoying than the recipient responding with a "What?" or worse - being totally oblivious you've said a word!

So, how can you rectify this? Easy! Gain the person's attention by starting your sentence with their name. Our name is an important part of our identity, it is the easiest heard word across a crowded room - who doesn't turn around when they hear their name!

𝑫𝒂𝒍𝒆 𝑪𝒂𝒓𝒏𝒆𝒈𝒊𝒆 𝒔𝒕𝒂𝒕𝒆𝒅 “𝑨 𝒑𝒆𝒓𝒔𝒐𝒏’𝒔 𝒏𝒂𝒎𝒆 𝒊𝒔 𝒕𝒐 𝒉𝒊𝒎 𝒐𝒓 𝒉𝒆𝒓 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒔𝒘𝒆𝒆𝒕𝒆𝒔𝒕 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒎𝒐𝒔𝒕 𝒊𝒎𝒑𝒐𝒓𝒕𝒂𝒏𝒕 𝒔𝒐𝒖𝒏𝒅 𝒊𝒏 𝒂𝒏𝒚 𝒍𝒂𝒏𝒈𝒖𝒂𝒈𝒆.”

Using someone's name regularly, correctly and respectfully is a sign of courtesy. Do you remember how you felt when someone remembered your name after being introduced or at a meeting? We feel respected and more important. What about when someone used the wrong name or pronounced it incorrectly or you've had to repeat it several times? We may feel trivial and slighted.

So take your time and show respect when using someone's name. It is a powerful statement of respect and a brilliant word to gain their attention.

P.S. Out of curiousity - do you have a name that is regularly misspelt or mispronounced? Do you correct people or just let it go?

• Unlock your true potential - https://www.thebalancetree.com.au •

When we are down, we can be quite hard on ourselves. "I'm not good enough"... "smart enough"... "rich enough"... "thin enough"- it's different for each of us. Do you ever stop yourself in these moments and instead think what you ARE?!

It’s time to shift your and who you are, what you are, what you have and what you've achieved.

𝐋𝐄𝐓'𝐒 𝐓𝐀𝐋𝐊
𝑅𝑒𝑠𝑝𝑒𝑐𝑡 𝑜𝑡ℎ𝑒𝑟𝑠' 𝑣𝑖𝑒𝑤 𝑜𝑓 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑤𝑜𝑟𝑙𝑑
Can you? Do you?
I'm sure you know someone who seems to take over a conversation, push their own point of view or continually 'story top' - or is that someone 𝑦𝑜𝑢!? 😱

Everyone has their own view of the world - perspective depends on culture, upbringing, geography, spirituality, health, wealth ...

When we communicate with only one view - our own - we shut out the opportunity to learn, grow, create and build relationships.

I recently had a conversation with someone who was very opposed to something a neighbour had done. When she found out that the neighbour was nursing a sick husband, and trying to look after two young grandchildren on her own, this person developed respect for the neighbour's behaviour and actions. The point of view she had been pushing was defused when she took time to understand the full story - rather than her own version of it.

When we enter into conversations with curiousity and compassion we are given the gift of seeing how others view the world.
Can you? Will you?

𝐋𝐄𝐓'𝐒 𝐓𝐀𝐋𝐊
𝑊ℎ𝑎𝑡'𝑠 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑝𝑢𝑟𝑝𝑜𝑠𝑒 𝑜𝑓 𝑡ℎ𝑎𝑡?
This is one of the most powerful resources I have been taught and that I can gift to you!

This phrase has changed my confidence and provided me with the most simple expression of empowerment both in my career and in my personal life. This is how it works ...

Do you struggle to say 'no' - because you don't want to let the other person down?
Do you say 'yes', then later regret it?
Do you agree to something that you're not sure about just because you feel honoured they've asked you?

Saying 'yes' to everything isn't always the best answer for you OR the other party!

If you're asked to do something and you're not sure you're the right person for the job, you don't have the time, or you simply don't want to, ask the person ...
𝐖𝐡𝐚𝐭'𝐬 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐩𝐮𝐫𝐩𝐨𝐬𝐞 𝐨𝐟 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭? OR 𝐖𝐡𝐚𝐭'𝐬 𝐌𝐘 𝐩𝐮𝐫𝐩𝐨𝐬𝐞 𝐢𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭?

It may be you're the only one who always says 'yes' (ouch) or
You were the closest at the time (oucher) or
there is no purpose at all (ouchier)!!
OR
you get an amazing and purposeful answer and you want in - no regrets!

I'd love to hear your experiences as you introduce this simple and effective phrase into your life.

Discover your passion and purpose - https://www.thebalancetree.com.au

After the last few months, you may feel the grey cloud of uncertainty circling above your head. This is a time of unprecedented - dig deep, start looking at all the positive possibilities and be .

𝐋𝐄𝐓'𝐒 𝐓𝐀𝐋𝐊
We all know to ask open-ended questions if we want to create a mature, motivational and positive conversation. But why not "why"?

A "Why?" question can often prompt a reaction of defense or offence and it usually doesn't get you a sophisticated answer. Add a tone of doubt or accusation to your why question and the conversation is likely to take a downward spiral very quickly.

Bringing in the old How, What, When, Who and other conversation starters will help you ask a more comprehensive question to which you are more likely to get the full and unbiased answer you are looking for.

"Why did you do that?" may result in "Because I want to", "Because you told me to", "What's it to you!"
versus
"What brought you to that decision?" or "Can you help me understand what's happening here?" or "Show me how this works".

By using this technique you're likely to receive a more substantial answer and one that is closer to the intention of your question as it implies curiosity rather than judgement.

I'd love you try this during the week and let me know how you get on.

How do YOU behave? How do you WANT to behave?

Learn to develop positive behaviours, emotions and patterns with our .

Want a sneak peek before you sign up to creating a better YOU? Explore our FREE content - https://www.thebalancetree.com.au

𝐋𝐞𝐭'𝐬 𝐓𝐚𝐥𝐤
Body language and non-verbal cues equate to around 93% of the impact of your communication with words making up a meager 7%!

We are taught to chose our words carefully, and, of course, these are absolutely important, whilst at the same time being aware of the tone of our voice and the physical queues we are projecting.

It's difficult to exude confidence if you are speaking at a meeting with your head down and fiddling with your shoe laces! No matter how amazing your presentation.

Will someone really believe you if you are complimenting them while you're yawning or talking to someone else at the same time?

How can you be taken seriously if you are checking your emails whilst reprimanding someone?

Heads up. Be present. Factor in your physical cues, tone of voice and choice of language.
I'd love to hear how you get on with these.

Grow. Change. Belong.

Begin today - https://www.thebalancetree.com.au/

𝐋𝐄𝐓'𝐒 𝐓𝐀𝐋𝐊
You're looking fantastic but ....
When you hear that word ... but ... you brace yourself for the negative, right? It's just one little word that can really change the flavour of a sentence, even when there is positive intention!

Using the word "but" negates the statement that came before it. On top of that it can often shut down dialogue and reduce the opportunity for what needs to be said. Try using the word "and" instead.

I want to meet with you 𝐛𝐮𝐭 I'm busy right now. (𝑃𝑜𝑡𝑒𝑛𝑡𝑖𝑎𝑙 𝑓𝑜𝑟 𝑜𝑡ℎ𝑒𝑟 𝑝𝑒𝑟𝑠𝑜𝑛 𝑝𝑟𝑒𝑠𝑢𝑚𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑦𝑜𝑢 𝑑𝑜𝑛'𝑡 ℎ𝑎𝑣𝑒 𝑡𝑖𝑚𝑒 𝑓𝑜𝑟 𝑡ℎ𝑒𝑚)
I want to meet with you 𝐚𝐧𝐝 would love to schedule something for this afternoon.

You've done a great job on that project 𝐛𝐮𝐭 the deadline has changed. (𝑃𝑜𝑡𝑒𝑛𝑡𝑖𝑎𝑙 𝑓𝑜𝑟 𝑜𝑡ℎ𝑒𝑟 𝑝𝑒𝑟𝑠𝑜𝑛 𝑡𝑜 𝑓𝑒𝑒𝑙 𝑡ℎ𝑒𝑟𝑒 𝑎𝑟𝑒 𝑛𝑜 𝑚𝑜𝑟𝑒 𝑜𝑝𝑡𝑖𝑜𝑛𝑠)
You've done a great job on that project 𝐚𝐧𝐝 with the changing deadline I've approved extra hours.

Swap 𝐛𝐮𝐭 for 𝐚𝐧𝐝 this week and monitor the response! I'd love to hear how you get on.

𝐋𝐄𝐓'𝐒 𝐓𝐀𝐋𝐊
Great leaders know how to get the most out of their teams.
Great leaders know how to set meaningful boundaries whilst giving the other person options.
Great leaders know how to maintain focus on the desired result.

"This or That" strategy will help you narrow your focus for output and allow the other person a clear understanding of what is expected to be part of a successful outcome.

P.S. Works great for the kids as well! 😉