Unity Mindfulness: Journey with Compassion

Decolonize therapy, coaching/wellness, yoga and spirituality ❤️

No matter what capitalism, wh*te supr*m*cy and patriarchy tell you...hierarchies are fake. Wisdom and knowledge are useless if there are no seekers. Healers owe seekers and wounded the fulfillment of their destiny.

Everything you think you know about meditation is an illusion. Drop it.

I don't miss Asana practice anymore. A few months ago, I lamented that I missed bodywork because I am no longer participating in the violent yoga studio culture. That got me reflecting on what a home practice means...what concepts was I attaching to it.

Lately, owing to high levels of pain, I have been doing Asana a lot more. But it's for a few minutes at a time throughout the day. Sometimes my meditation practice is just being quiet as I have my first chai of the morning or watching my pupper sleep. All of these have been immensely helpful.

I have been leading a specific meditation for clients which is just 3-minutes long and their H.W has been to practice it during the (work) day. They have come back excited it makes meditation accessible and not this daunting thing on their task list.

Don't buy into the wellness industrial complex and don't let it deter you from enjoying peace, relaxation and wisdom daily.

Start small.
Start with the doable.
Start.

What are your thoughts?

Reflections on Universal Love, self-love, collective liberation

What are your thoughts?

Also, Insta is going to be super limited on my end for a while. If you are interested in what I have to share, get on my Substack. There will be long-form writing, meditations and notes on there.

I want to be engaged with people who are interested in genuine connection and not clout. This platform is racist and fake. I'm done.

I know it's easier for you to be on Insta because all your favourites are on here and you can see it all in one place. That's a marketplace. I don't want consumers. I want connection.

journeywithcompassion.substack.com

Word of the year

I have been struggling with some health issues. There's also the question of too many projects on the go. It has been a season of committing to some things and releasing others. The last few months have opened my eyes to the farce that is social media and how authenicity is faked and/or weaponized. I am in a season of slowing down here, but kicking up my pace in life at work and with my passions.

In light of all of this, a word came to me: Enjoyment. What if I infused my year with enjoyment! Enjoying writing and working, and enjoying the spaces in between. Enjoying building an irl community of badass peeps, and enjoying the quietude. Enjoying the special monthly date nights with my spouse, and enjoying the mundane on the daily. Enjoying bursts of energy, and enjoying those pain-filled days when I cannot do much.

I will enjoy suffering and I will enjoy my happiness. I am leaning into it all.

I will be accepting clients for coaching and counselling. Metta on Sundays is running.

Also, if you run a yoga/meditation studio or a YTT and want me to come teach, I am accepting irl and virtual engagements.

We often try to rescue people/ourselves in the face of powerful feelings. We do that by negating or refuting or denying that experience and most often without impact.

Our experiences are coloured by our upbringing, biology, experiences, trauma, dominant societal narratives and support systems. Even if we cognitively know something to be not true, we may feel a certain way owing to the baggage we (all) have.

Instead of challenging/denying/negating those feelings by focussing on the words, let's go to the emotions behind those words.

Remember:
It does not have to be true, to feel true.

Offer validation in response.

Validation refers to the acknowledgement of the experience a person has and NOT its factuality. To validate, we have to look beyond the words, and identify the feelings behind those words. E.g. When someone says, "I am ugly," simply responding by saying, "No, you are not," does not help. Try offering, "It must be awful to feel that way." AND, "Who in your life makes you feel that way?" The point of validation is to let the person know that they are valued and seen.

Also offer it to yourself.

Do you understand what validation means?

A mindset shift

A pic of my shadow and I

Shadow and I
We talk in silence
We acknowledge each other
And nod in respect
We recognize
Each of us has a role
In the soul's
journey to liberation

Random NY thoughts 💜

We do the work for everyone. Even those we do not like. Even those who are seemingly working against us.

On intimacy
A few weeks ago, we had a discussion during our Metta sits about the exhaustion of chronic illness and how it seeps into our relationships. There is a need to be connected and cared for and it is exhausting to constantly share details of our illnesses. I suggested the use of canned responses. Short and sweet pre-created answers that we can send others. The question arose if this impersonal or even inauthentic.

This is my response and I hope to start a discussion about this.

Thoughts?

P.S. I use canned responses. I love when people care for me. But please know I have limited capacity to share in detail and investing that much of my energy every time with every one. I want you to connect with me and appreciate that my reality and needs might be different from yours.

Xoxo

I am finding my courage to disappoint people that I love or admire. Many incredible people follow me. People whose work is changing the world, who are not only my role models, but that of hordes of people across the world. At one point, it was exhilarating to have them follow me. It felt like validation. It felt like I had somehow arrived because they give me their follow. I want(ed) nothing more than to please them. I have felt compelled to post in a way that would impress them.

Somewhere I realized that I swapped the wh*te folks for these badass people and I was still having the same patterns that kept me trapped and unhappy. To be able to disappoint people I have respect for is a new super power I am discovering. I still feel the discomfort in my body when I say something in a particular way or if I don't speak up on something. But the conviction to be authentically me is rooted now at the base of my spine and it is rising up.

I also have understood that I will continue to love and respect these people even if they don't like me anymore or if they have unfollowed me. May be they haven't, and they won't. But this is the tune of my heart and where I am in my journey.

I want to do what I am being called to do. It's different and I am nervous and also curious about changes are afoot for me.

It's December and involuntarily, I began reflecting on my year. My first thought was: I had an average year. Immediately my mood dipped and my spirit sank. My mindfulness practice and resulting discernment allowed me to stay present with the suffering. I said to myself, "First of all, there's nothing wrong with average. Look at what's happening around you! Average is amazing all things considered." I noticed that my body and mind stabilized. Next, I asked myself, "What do I really mean when I say average?" Turns out, it referred to money. I reframed to myself, "I had an average year financially." This freed up space. I continued to sip on my tea.

Memories of the year began to come up. A breathtaking sunrise hot air balloon ride in Cappadocia, Turkey. Meeting my spiritual teachers for the first time. Completing the first draft and half way through editing the second draft of my book. Making local friends, something I have missed for years. A solo trip to Banaras and sitting with the Ganga and weeping. Healing ancestral wounds. Starting my clinical supervision practice and loving it. Continuing to lead a weekly meditation sit, and hosting a month-long refuge practice. Leveled up my psychotherapy training. Traveling to LA for a retreat and meeting my bff alone for the first time in several years - we spent 2 days just lounging in the hotel. An exceptional summer, when every morning, my spouse, pup and I sat on the deck to have a chai and chill - I remember thinking this is what true happiness feels like...this is what heaven is to me.

It was far from average. It was exceptional. This post is for anyone who is down on themselves about the sort of year they had. Allow the first thought to come and sit with you. Make a cup of tea. Sip the tea slowly, and ask yourself, "And what else....?"

Here's the quick and dirty: When reflecting on your year, be contemplative and not cognitive.

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1. When reflecting on your year, be contemplative, not cognitive.
2. Prompt: What did you cultivate that you are proud of?
3. Prompt: What did you give up that wasn't serving you?
4. Prompt: What are you celebrating? What are you mourning?

Based on the global awakening and people's movements across the world, I have been thinking of this quote by Thich Nhat Hanh.

Also, Avalokitesvara is my absolute favourite Bodhisattva. They are said to have a thousand hands and innumerable eyes. These represent many different things like capacity or the myriad different approaches to respond to the vast suffering of our Earth and all the beings on it.

I have been so inspired by this idea that we can each be an eye or a hand without needing to do it all, and needing to do things exactly how others are doing it. All our effort is coming to fruition. We have gotta keep going.

Liberation is here. We are the Bodhisattvas in training.

What should a Black or Brown person, say may be a first generation immigrant do if they are bullied at their work place by peers or a manager? Chances are you are going to say that they should file an official complaint or talk to their superiors.

As a therapist to predominantly BIPOC, currently I have several clients, men and women of colour who are or have been targeted at their work places. Feedback is welcome, but along with that, being insulted in front of the entire team, being humiliated at a deeply personal level, culturally shamed - "It might have worked in YOUR country..." When they complain, they, the victim are made to move teams or
departments, and most of the time there is no repercussion on the bully at all because they have been in the company longer or are at a higher post. In fact, the targeting has gotten worse and people end up leaving their jobs.

Organizations love doing lip service of how people-oriented they are. There is an unspoken caveat, as long as it does not hamper the productivity or rock the boat too much. That is capitalism and supremacy.
This is not just true for the West. It happens in India too, with Dalit and tribal folk at work. In fact, there is documented case studies of how Dalits are harassed by so-called caste-privileged people in the Bay Area. Supremacy is a hierarchy, and the closer to the highest echelon a person is, the higher the chance of them taking advantage of that power.

On the day Parinirvana day of Dr. B.R. Ambedkar, I wish freedom from all oppression for everyone.

Important reminders for myself, and may be you need them too.

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1. Some people are silent because they are afraid. Others are silent because they are burnt out. Yet others might be educating themselves before speaking.
A few might be dealing with crushing personal circumstances. Some might not care. You'll never know who falls under which category.

2. Some people are speaking up because they care.
Some others are speaking because they cannot tolerate injustice any longer.
Others are speaking out for likes and clout.
Several can because of their privilege.
Many people have been working on educating themselves for years.
A few might be simply adding fuel to the fire.
Some might be joining the bandwagon.
You'll never know who falls under which category.

Energy, motivation, capacity

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When you have only 50% in you and give you that 50%, you give a 100%

Metabolizing Grief
A 90-minute virtual workshop to process personal and global grief
November 18th
1PM ET/12PM CT/10AM PT
Register at: https://t.ly/ZsYRg or via link in bio

How can we NOT be heartbroken as multiple genocides unfold in front of us! All of this, in the context of personal and societal challenges! Let's come together and hold our grief.

Please note: This is NOT a discussion on politics nor is a substitute for therapy and professional support. This is a self-discovery and compassion-based workshop.

Please share widely and do join me.

Some of us need to pay more attention to the violence and injustices of the world, and others need to remind themselves of the beauty and grace.

Which group are you in today?
What can do you do about that?

It's the final day of Navratri. It has been a period of reclamation like I have never thought possible. I never thought I would feel okay before or during any festival but this year these nine days I have felt a deep sense of peace and devotion. My mother has been present with me some days; I miss her so much.

I am so blessed to have taken part in the Navratri Sadhana led by my dear friend and teacher Luvena and practiced alongside my favourites
and . For some of us, it is our fourth time together.

On Saturday, I went for garba with Sid. We've been together for 16 years, and he has never seen this part of my culture which is a huge part of the puzzle of me. He is a Christian from Kerala, and I am a mixed heritage Gujarati-Konkani. To see him marvel at the outfits and the dancing, and follow me around taking videos was exciting. I didn't have any friends to dance with, but I just randomly went and joined in where people were dancing. I had fun. I could feel the goddess dancing with me. It sounds bizarre, and I promise I wasn't on any substances, LOL.

I have hesitated sharing this, because I feel guilty for experiencing this healing during such a tumultuous time. And I also have come to realize that those who are here, understand the multitudes of life. I am putting this joy out here to let it inspire those seeking generational and ancestral healing.

The goddess used to be my mother's mother. She is now my mother. I am not unmothered anymore.

Tomorrow, Sid and I are going out for dinner to mark the end of my fasting.

As I sat with my practice this week, I have a greater clarity about who I am, what my calling is and what I will be sharing on this platform.

Thanks for reading and holding my joy.

A topic close to my heart, and that impacts me personally

I welcomed my rage
Hugged it like a beloved child
Together we wept.