Peter Turner - Author

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cnVx5FITZp0 The sheer determination and bloody-mindedness of cats to be lazy never fails to amaze.

Cat sleeping piano rock 'n roll song Cat sleeping piano rock 'n roll song

No doubt Stephen King will be nervously looking over his shoulder. Not only competing on recent sales, but the Kingster holds a triflingly meagre lead of 48,223 in reviews. ✌

Festive greetings to any saddo who's inadvertently forgetten to take my page off their FB newsfeed. If you're cheesed off with the nomansland of between xmas and new year, why not pull up the chaise longue, get that hearth roaring with the gusto of a lion that's discovered his wife is being doinked by the head of another pride of lions, forget about the sh*te weather and entertain yourself with an extraordinarily tasteless and downright silly short story. It's part of a collection of short stories entitled "Tales of the Slightly Depraved" and which isn't available from all good bookshops. It is, however, available as a Kindle eBook, and priced at just £1.99 of your Earth-pounds and pence.

https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B0CDQGG3GS

My favourite comedy horror film is 'Theatre of Blood,' and I was delighted to discover that it was a personal favourite of both Vincent Price and Diana Rigg - its two main stars. The cast list includes a who's who of acting greats, including Michael Hordern, Jack Hawkins, Coral Browne and Arthur Lowe amongst others. Milo O'Shea and Eric Sykes appear as wonderfully inept police officers who are always one step behind the hammy and murderous actor, Edward Lionheart (Price), who wreaks revenge on his disparaging critics by ingeniously and gruesomely bumping them off one by one using methods inspired by Shakespeare. An example of a critical slating of Lionheart that inspires his revenge comes from the pen of the gluttonous Meredith Merridew (Robert Morley), which is hurtfully read aloud by the wronged, overacting thespian. "MR LIONHEART'S RENDERING OF THE ROLE CAN ONLY BE DESCRIBED AS VILLAINOUS; LAID BETWEEN THE DELICATELY UNDERPLAYED PERFORMANCES OF MISS LILLYWHITE AS LAVINIA AND MISS MOLE AS TAMORA, ONE IS IRRESISTIBLY REMINDED OF A HAM SANDWICH!"

Fame at last - albeit only in the eastern suburbs of Bath plus a smattering of west Wiltshire hamlets. Even so, tiny acorns etc... https://www.locallook.co.uk/?fbclid=IwAR1TUdpkHuF5vwXa-IOGLzFd2O9YfvbW9qfCvuZpcWO1IBS2z2ACzg_UII4

https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B0CDQGG3GS

FREE on Kindle until Saturday.

The title of my short story collection has been *slightly* altered in readiness for Friday.

https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B0CDQGG3GS

Pleased to reach this milestone, and thanks to everyone who's bought a copy.

https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B0CDQGG3GS

A collection of comical and absurd short stories to be released August 25th as Kindle e-Book. To avoid the virtual stampede of release day, it can be pre-ordered now at the cost-of-living-busting price of £1.79. ⚡

Tales of the Depraved: A Collection of Black and Comical Short Stories Tales of the Depraved: A Collection of Black and Comical Short Stories eBook : Turner, Peter: Amazon.co.uk: Kindle Store

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GcaPABgew_k

Bill Bailey Cockney Motifs in Classical Music

Cigar and top hat notwithstanding, has anybody else noticed the striking similarity between Isambard Kingdom Brunel and Neil Diamond?

One of my favourite scenes from An American Werewolf in London involves the ill-starred commuter, Gerald Bringsley. "I CAN ASSURE YOU THIS IS NOT THE LEAST BIT AMUSING!" I always wondered how the impressively hairy alter-ego of David Kessler managed to avoid being hit by a tube train during this particular carnivorous lunar activity, but he/it must be admired for courageously ignoring Mr Bringsley's threat of having him reported.

Along with Theatre of Blood, An American Werewolf in London is cinematic comedy horror at its absolute best.

"GOOD LORD!"

Amazon Prime has really gone for the jugular in their attempts to make me re-subscribe.

Jane Austen's old pad opposite Sydney Gardens.
https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B0B34WQP6H

Cleveland Bridge, Bath. Scene of a successful su***de attempt, though in a manner rather more comical than planned...

https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B0B34WQP6H

(Little) Solsbury Hill, overlooking Bath. The site of where Witchfinder Thomas Crabbings was slain by the Devil in the 1600s (or at least it was according to my horror comedy novel, THE WYVERN & THE WITCHFINDER). 👍

https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B0B34WQP6H

Writer of absurd comedy and horror comedy.

'The Wyvern & The Witchfinder' is a supernatural horror comedy set in and around the elegant city of Bath, where the locals attempt to suppress the rather unpleasant influence of a medieval witchfinder and the ghost of a modern-day village simpleton.

'Wilberforce & Grace' is a comedy saga featuring polar opposite siblings as they journey through the decades.

The Wyvern & The Witchfinder The Wyvern & The Witchfinder eBook : Turner, Peter : Amazon.co.uk: Kindle Store