Head and Home Decluttering

Goodbye here and hello there!

I had never used Instagram until downloading it to set up this business page so came in blind to posting, reels, carousels and generally what made an interesting business page. My business and work has changed and developed vastly over the few years since I started, I’ve learned a lot and changed direction a little. It has taken this long for me to truly work out where I want to go with my work and start steering towards it.

With that in mind I’m having a fresh start on social media and being more specific about what I do. It feels like the first page of a nice new notebook!

If you still want to follow me I can now be found over at beyondtherapy.suffolk 🙂
I hope to see some of you there!

I was reminded today again about the power of our thoughts and how they can hold us back. We believe all sorts of things about ourselves and situations that get in the way of us doing what we want / need to do and aren’t based on facts.

Thoughts are a funny kind of body sensation, a collection of neurons firing through our brain that we interpreted in a specific way. We aren’t our thoughts, or defined by them. We don’t have to do anything at all with them and continue with our day, or we can choose to listen, or we can actively try to change them sometimes.

So… what would you do if you didn’t believe everything you thought?

Anyone who knows me knows I’m not the biggest fan of “resolutions” and setting ourselves a load of new rules to live by (live being the important word here! - more on this in a later post).

However, this strange time between Christmas and new year can be a good time to pause and think about our intentions for the coming year. I’ve paused this morning to write and collect the thoughts I’ve been having in recent weeks about this.

If you would like to do the same, I’d encourage you to ask yourself:

🔹What is working for me? What do I want to keep around? What do I want more of that already doing?
🔹 Where do I want to be in 12 months? Where do I want to be beyond 2025? Is my current path taking me towards or away from the life I would like to be leading then?
🔹What brings me joy, meaning, and purpose in life - how can I build more of this into my days/weeks/months?
🔹Is there anything I do that goes against what I value in life? Can I change this in anyway? How can I support myself to do this?

Don’t set yourself up to fail by setting unrealistic targets and goals starting on the 1st of January. Gently set your path for the year, ensuring it’s taking you towards how you would like life to look both in the near and distant future.

Let these intentions be your compass.

If you need a hand one-off sessions are available (or short blocks of sessions) to think about our values, support with a vision of how you would like life to be, and teach how to set goals and steps related to this.
Message on here to set up an online or in person meeting.

What is dialectical behaviour therapy (DBT)?

DBT is a type of talking therapy. It's designed for people who feel emotions very intensely.

DBT focuses on helping you change unhelpful ways of thinking and behaving. But it also focuses on accepting who you are at the same time. You often have homework to do from the sessions and have to focus on the present and future instead of the past.

You might have DBT on your own, or as part of a group.
You might look at:
- being more mindful
- learning to deal with crisis without harmful behaviours
- learning to ask for things and say no to others
- regulating your emotions.

DBT isn't available everywhere. And in some places you may have to wait a long time for treatment. You can speak to your GP for more information on services in your area.

Got more questions or want to look for help? Tap the link in our bio for more info. Or call us on 0300 123 3393

P.S. Different therapies work for different people. If you’ve tried this before and it doesn’t work for you, there may be something out there that does.

For more about DBT (and the alternatives too): www.mind.org.uk/information-support/drugs-and-treatments/talking-therapy-and-counselling/dialectical-behaviour-therapy-dbt/

This is a metaphor you’ll often hear me use! We can’t pour from an empty cup and have to ensure we are filling our own cups first before anyone else’s. What fills our cups may look different and it’s so important to take stock of what we find fulfilling as individuals when life is running away with us.

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New date available!

The next 3 week introduction to Mindfulness course will be starting on the 19th November at H Space Movement , Earsham Hall. Come and learn how to take back control of your focus and attention, move away from judgements about yourself and others, and start navigating life with your eyes open - enjoying the experiences that are on offer to us.

Running for 3 consecutive Sundays for an hour and half these sessions will teach you the foundations of mindfulness and cover lots of different practices.
Refreshments and everything you need for the sessions will be provided, including packs to take away.

Get in touch to reserve your place directly with me or if you have any questions, booking also available through the link below. I will get in touch by phone/email with confirmation. Places are very limited for these sessions!

https://book.stripe.com/fZe7uJekP9Ee3bq3ci

We need to get the basics right so we can build on the rest. We hear all the time people bang on about eating well, exercising and sleeping from an overall health perspective. I’m going to add that doing these things ➡️everyday⬅️ improves our mental health and well-being. If our body is out of balance our mind will be too.

The challenge is that none of these are quick fixes. Think of them though as putting pennies in a piggy bank… one of these one day will make no difference to your health and well-being… the cumulative impact of doing what we can everyday if great and can’t be underestimated.

If you find it impossible to get those pennies consistently banked then maybe it’s time to get some advice around what the barriers are and what you can do differently. As always, get in touch if you’d like to book an appointment to discuss how I might be able to help you or with any questions 😊

We are all somewhere on this cycle of behaviour change at any given time, possibly in several places depending on the behaviours we're trying to actively change, thinking about changing or maybe avoiding thinking about changing!

Understanding where we are can help us buffer ourselves against the challenges that we face when trying to change behaviour and also help us give ourselves a push when we relapse to get back on the cycle and towards action / maintenance quickly. Each time we 'fall off' we can learn what the barriers are.

For example, let's say we're trying to eat healthily (just because most of us have been there!) and we always 'relapse' on a Friday evening we can see this pattern and look out for it, asking ourselves what steps do we need to put in place to prevent it happening next time.

Briefly each of the areas:
Pre-Contemplation - we aren't even thinking about changing! We might be unaware we have a problem or might feel so overwhelmed that change feels impossible
Contemplation - We're aware of a behaviour and are considering the possibility of changing
Preparation - we start making plans, perhaps we call in support from other people or do some research
Action - This is when we actually put our plan into action and take steps towards changing
Maintenance - We've achieved a change and are now trying to keep it up. We can stay here...
Or we can relapse - this is when we return to an earlier stage in the cycle. It isn't unusual at all for people to relapse several times when trying to change behaviours - it's completely normal and we don't need to shame ourselves for it. See it as an opportunity to learn more about yourself and get back to the preparation / action as soon as possible.

Behaviour change is my 'thing' and we will often consider in session how to continue maintaining what you learn in session into everyday life.

What are you trying to change right now?
As always get in touch if you need a hand and are feeling unsure where to start!

Something I often hear from the people I work with is that they aren’t believed, heard, or respected. They might be told their experiences are wrong or that everything is their problem, that they are “too much”. I wasn’t sure whether to post this as often when our experience has been of people letting us down, or dismissing our emotions, words mean very little to us.

It’s true though, I see you and believe you, I believe your experiences when you describe them to me. I will never dismiss something as “too much” as it will be based on a grain of truth and wisdom somewhere. We just need to decide what to do with it.

If you’re struggling with your emotions and find that people often tell you what you are experiencing is wrong, or if you find it hard to express in a way others understand, then get in touch to see how I might be able to help.

1-1 sessions, online and in person are available.

Anyone who has ever worked with me (or really just spoken to me!) knows that I love a quote, saying, cheerleading statement, metaphor, or just general words of wisdom. We all have these helpful mantras or thoughts we live by and I'd love to hear some of yours!

I'll start with just some of my favourites:

"Should is could with shame attached"
"You can't pour from an empty cup"
"Emotions love themselves"

Add yours in the comments 👇

We all carry different myths through life with us - often they are unhelpful and get in the way of us doing what needs to be done. Here are some myths I've heard about therapy.

🔹 1. Lots of people at different times in their lives can benefit from therapy. It might be to help improve relationships, making difficult decisions, improving your mental health, learning new ways to manage stress and pressures... the list is endless.

🔹 2. My colleagues and I definitely do not have all the answers! It is not our task to tell you what to do. Our task is to work with you to help you find your own answers. And sometimes, there simply isn't an answer and we can try and support you with this too.

🔹 3. Therapy takes time and commitment from you. Quick fixes include things like; massages, having a take away, impulse spending, distracting yourself etc. They help in the short-term but don't help us change in the long-term. Bringing about lasting change takes time.

🔹 4. If you've ever attended a session with me you'll know there isn't really that much talking! We don't need to go through every minute of your week to be able to help the next week be better. Therapy can be about talking to help us understand and often there are practical and focused parts of each session learning and thinking about new skills.

🔹 5. The word 'therapy' and 'counselling' are often misunderstood. There are hundreds of different types of therapy and it's important to find the right person and right approach for you. CBT (cognitive behavioural therapy) is commonly known and might not suit lots of people, sometimes though if you have a course of therapy or counselling it's easy to feel disheartened if nothing changes. If you're considering therapy please feel confident to ask the therapist in your assessment how they work, what they are trained in, and how this might help you.

What other myths about therapy have you heard? Or do you have any questions about therapy? Feel free to ask in the comments :)

Mindfulness is not what you think it is! Set aside the assumption that it is about sitting and breathing quietly for 20 minutes - it can be this and is so much more.

Are you feeling overwhelmed by the daily grind, struggling to find balance amidst the chaos?

Our 3 week Introduction to Mindfulness course (or 1-1 sessions if you would prefer) are the place to start. These immersive sessions are designed to give you the practical tools and skills to manage your thoughts, develop an awareness of the present, and find more joy in the small things in life we might usually miss.

In this interactive course, you'll learn:
🔹 The fundamentals of mindfulness and its profound impact on our health
🔹 Practical exercises to bring mindfulness into your everyday life
🔹 Techniques to notice the patterns our thoughts can take and to manage these
🔹 Strategies to reduce judgements of ourselves and other people

The next sessions start on:
23rd June, 30th June and 7th July running from 18:00 - 19:30
Community Leisure Facility Gym /

Also running on the 3rd August. 10th August, 17th August from 10:00 - 11:30.

Get in touch to reserve your place, or with any questions, as spaces are limited.

When your to-do list literally looks like a herd of elephants walking across your desk it’s a sign to pause some things!

I’m taking a few weeks off Instagram and social media posting while I try and tick some of these mammoth (😉) tasks off my list. I know social media is something that encourages me to avoid other tasks that need doing.

As a side note, I love creating a to-do list pile when things get really busy with jobs I’m actively avoiding, none of which are urgent but all need to happen. I choose one at random from the pile and commit to doing that thing to completion.

I’ll still see messages, comments, etc on here because of notifications. I’ll just be hidden for a few weeks in paperwork 🫣

If you want to get in touch, as always, message on here, email, or get in touch through my website (link in bio).

[email protected]

My final 'introduction' for May... Meet the Smiths - a family of four on the move to a new home.

➡ Paul got in touch when the family had decided to move home to take some of the pressure off all of them. Moving house isn't an easy time, there's paperwork to manage, a home to pack and move, and then unpacking the other side.

➡Because Paul got in touch early we had time to complete a whole house declutter, packing what we could as we went in a systematic and logical way. This saved them money on removals as they were ready to go and weren't taking things they didn't need and love.

➡ We arranged for me to meet them at their new home and help get them unpacked and organised, keeping things as simple and working as smoothly as possible.

Do you have any top tips for moving? Comment below!

If you're getting ready for a house move, whether downsizing or to a larger home, then get in touch today to discuss how I might be able to help with the process.



👉The people in these examples aren't based on any one individual and are examples from having worked with several people or situations - information is always kept confidential and private.

Self-care and its close companion Wellness are everywhere right now! I saw this quote recently from Brianna Wiest and it really stood out to me. So much is being sold as self-care / wellness that really doesn't help us change our lives and our mental health in the long-term. Don't get me wrong, I love a candle, but if I can't pay my bills it isn't going to help my mental health in the long-term.

Self-care is doing the things we don't want to do because we know they'll help us in the long-run. It's ending relationships that are causing us harm, it is taking care of our physical health consistently, it's both letting ourselves rest and keeping ourselves active and in the present moment rather than autopilot. Often self-care means doing the hardest thing because it's also the most important.

I'll get off my soap box now but would encourage you to ask yourself, how do you truly take care of yourself?
Do you take care of yourself like that no-nonsense friend? Or do you give yourself an easy ride and avoid the things that we need to do to build that life we don't need to escape from?

If it's something you want to learn how to do, to learn the skills around building a life you don't feel like you need to escape, then get in touch to book a free one-off appointment to see how I could guide you towards this.

Continuing my mini-series of giving you an opportunity to "meet" the people I work with, I'd like to introduce Sarah.

➡ Sarah saw one oy my posts on Facebook and messaged me there asking for some advice and support following her Mum's death and not knowing where to turn.

➡Sarah was tasked with clearing out her parent's home and preparing it for sale, no small task given that they liked keeping things 'just in case'. She knew she didn't want to just get a skip or a house clearance to manage this and wanted to choose herself what to do.

➡Sarah knew what she wanted and the task felt so huge alongside her grief that she didn't feel able to start.

➡ Working together I was able to support Sarah with her grief, not rushing any decisions and giving her an opportunity to talk about her parents and her memories with them as we were working through their belongings.

➡Coming up with a plan for each item and working methodically through the home ensured Sarah didn't miss anything important and also didn't have lots of items coming into her home that she didn't want or need. We came up with plans for disposing/donating/selling items as we were sorting and ensured that they were treated with the respect they deserved.

Sorting a home after a bereavement can be a painful time - what would your one tip be for someone who might be going through this?



The creation of this series was inspired by the lovely Karla ☺

👉The people in these examples aren't based on any one individual and are examples from having worked with several people or similar situations - information is always kept confidential and private.

Our Tuesday Tip:
Can you move to a paperless system for your bank statements, bills, or other post?

If you have paperwork do you need to keep it or can you shred / dispose of this confidentially? This frees up physical room in your home and if you prevent more bills/letters from arriving will save you the time while also being good for the planet.

A chance to "meet" some of the people I work with thinking specifically about decluttering and organising. The next in this series I'd like to introduce is Jenny.

➡ Jenny got in touch after stumbling across my website, using the contact form there to reach out by email and request her free consultation.

➡ Jenny was going through the motions with her home, doing the bare minimum and feeling exhausted and overwhelmed by the task of clearing out her home after years of working full time doing an intense job.

➡She felt ashamed of her house, meaning she wouldn't accept visitors and ended up becoming more and more isolated and lonely. Jenny hasn't ever decluttered really and has accumulated more and more items at home.

➡ We started with setting achievable goals for each session, focusing to begin with on the children's old bedroom but working through a full house declutter. Alongside this we thought about systems to keep tasks as easy as possible for between sessions to keep the momentum going and also help Jenny continue independently when she felt able to.

➡We were able to specifically consider Jenny's mental health, think about the barriers to her home feeling comfortable and kept things simple and achievable - building her confidence in her own skills and abilities over time and improving her mood and motivation as a side effect of this. A virtuous circle!

Do you related with Jenny's story?

Does your home support or stop you leading the life you would like to lead?



This series was inspired by Karla ☺

👉The people in these examples aren't based on any one individual and are examples from having worked with several people or situations - information is always kept confidential and private.

When I say small and specific - start with a single drawer or item that doesn't have any emotional attachments.

Begin in the sock drawer, or with cutlery, or even as specific as spatulas or mugs.

Declutter that one item thoroughly before moving onto the next. Decluttering a whole room can feel overwhelming so set achievable goals and work through methodically. You will achieve your decluttering tasks more quickly by doing this than by flitting from item to item.

Comment below ideas with suggestions for areas to work on - a handy reference list then for if people feel stuck for inspiration!

A chance to "meet" some of the people I work with thinking specifically about decluttering and organising. The first person I'd like to introduce is Louise.

➡ Louise reached out by Instagram to book her free consultation, feeling at the end of her tether with her home and having no where that felt comfortable and just for her.

➡With two children under 5 life is hectic to say the least and her home had become overrun with their toys, clothes, and children's items. She struggled to switch off at the end of the day once they were asleep and didn't have any adult space to relax but also didn't know where to start going about creating that.

➡She knew there were items that could be donated but finding them in amongst everything else felt too much of a challenge to start alone.

➡ Our sessions focused to start with on the children's bedrooms, working through the unused toys and clothes and arranging these in a way that they could easily get out (and put away again!) their toys. We found ways of increasing the amount of play space in their rooms by rearranging the furniture so their toys could be taken out of the living room and into their bedrooms.

➡We thought about ways of keeping things as simple as possible for Louise and her children, to reduce the amount of time she spent trying to keep things neat and tidy and increase the amount of time she could enjoy actually spending with them.

Do you share experiences with Louise?
What did you find worked for you when you had young children?
Any tips for other people who are currently going through the experience?



👉The people in these examples aren't based on any one individual and are examples from having worked with several people or situations - information is always kept confidential and private.

May is a month for decluttering tips. I'm starting with the top top top tip….

Do not buy any of the beautiful, eye catching, storage boxes until after you have decluttered. Hopefully you won't need as many (or any) storage boxes when you have finished. Save yourself the money and wait!

Do you have more storage boxes than you know what to do with from making this mistake?

I’ve been watching the dandelions grow recently and thinking again about radical acceptance related to this (quite some time ago I told the dandelion story on here- I’ll re-record it soon I’m sure). In the mean time I had this image shared with me again. I love it whenever I see it!

There have been several things in my life recently that I’ve had to work really hard on gently accepting so I can make changes. This is a skill and takes practice to be able to move towards! When we can find acceptance though we also find freedom from suffering in life. Everything feels easier.

Do you battle against situations and find this non-acceptance causes more problems?

Or perhaps you hide your head in the sand and pretend everything is ok when you know it really isn’t (this is my favourite non-acceptance trick too sometimes- there’s no judgement here!).

Sometimes we are actually working really hard trying to solve problems and make things better but with no success. This can also be a sign of non-acceptance as perhaps we are trying to solve the wrong problem or haven’t fully accepted the problem as it is.

If you need help making changes and are finding acceptance hard then DM to discuss how I might be able to help.




I don’t know the original creators of the image so if you do please let me know so I can credit them!

The final tip for April... Reach out to qualified health professionals. If you are suffering, feeling stuck, don't know where to start improving your mental health, aren't even sure if you're depressed/anxious or just feel terrible and don't have the words to explain what you're experiencing then get in touch with a trusted professional. This might be your GP, the local Wellbeing Services or Recovery College (you can self-refer to both of these and they are part of the NHS) or it might a private therapist (like me) or counsellor.

If you seek support privately my tip here is to ask about if people have special interests and or experience. Check that they have the knowledge and skills to help you as an individual and are qualified/registered with the appropriate professional bodies. Practitioners won't mind you asking questions as it is also our responsibility to ensure that we are a 'good fit' for you.

The key here is if you are suffering, seek professional support. Starting that journey to recovery is difficult and we know the courage it takes to ask for support.

I often talk about values but rarely highlight why they're so important and why I bang on about them all the time.
We can spend times feeling like we are drifting and unsure in life about where we would like to go and what we would like to be doing.
Or maybe we are unhappy currently and are unsure how to change
Or we might know what we would like but struggle to see a path and route there.

Being aware of our values helps us set goals in our lives, see the importance of everyday changes and areas to work on so we are more likely to continue and commit to them, and gives us a guide and compass through our lives.

Sometimes we might be unsure of exactly where we want to go and where we would like to be. If we keep our values in mind though we can still purposefully and meaningfully stride out in the direction they take us, rather than either drifting aimlessly or being stuck where we are.

If you want to learn more than get in touch by DM to book your free telephone call to see how I can help you find your route towards the life you would like to lead.