Sarah Coe - Individual Counselling

Why do we keep doing the same thing?

The desire to re-visit and put right, alter or make amends often results in us making the same decisions resulting in the same outcomes. Many of our re-visited patterns are done so unconsciously in an attempt to unconsciously recreate an unresolved part of ourselves in the present day in order to heal it. Armed with only our own way of doing this inevitably results in the same outcomes and so the pattern of re-visit will emerge in different guises attempting to be seen by ourselves and re-worked. Counselling can help challenge those patterns and crucially by curious around why the are re-occurring and what needs to be addressed at a deeper level.

Control - What does this mean?

Much of our lives are actually not in our control and yet we can find ourselves focusing and ruminating on the words and actions of others and in turn then our responses. Stepping back and looking at what we can realistically take ownership of in ourselves and that which we have very limited or non-existent influence over can create space to fulfil our potential selves and better serve ourselves and the relationships we enter into with ourselves and others.

Be who you are not who you are told you are or should try to be.
There are no square pegs or round holes, just this moment right now. Be you, it's what so many search for not realising they have always been it all along and will always be, it doesn't 'go' somewhere but it can get hidden underneath the noise xx fly & be xx you are you and that is a celebration

Such a valuable lesson in childhood to carry through our lives x thankyou YoungMinds for postig

Always a message worth sharing with your child.

ADHD is a neurodevelopmental condition.
Children with ADHD can find it really hard to maintain relationships as a result of their behaviours which can also lead them to feel isolated, lonely, anxious and depressed. Early intervention and greater understanding is imperative and personally I feel that the work of Nip in the Bud and others is a must follow for parents and teachers alike to gain empathy and understanding to support children affected with ADHD.

Typically ADHD is seen in children by the age of 7 years old particularly shown by symptoms around inattention, hyperactivity and impulsivity.

But what does that really look like?
"Nip in the Bud" produced this really useful video to explain ...
https://youtu.be/lO2tBnF3f7s?si=AVV5DYU8HtxIysk_

Nip in the Bud https://nipinthebud.org/ works in collaboration with mental health professionals to produce short films to help parents, teachers and others caring for and working with young children to recognise non-neurotypical experiences, mental health disorders or illness to improve prospects of early diagnosis and effective intervention, reducing the risks of those conditions becoming more serious in later years. Their resources are focussed on children aged 3 -11

How To Recognise ADHD Symptoms in Children Watch time: 01:35 Minutes | CW//ADHD. This film contains sensitive material about ADHD and is not suitable for children under 16. Our films all discuss child...

Thank you Tiny Buddha 💓

Back from a weeks break and just sitting in my office reflecting on my time.

Where ever I am in my life be that my physical or inner presence , the people I care about come into my thoughts. They may rest a while and then continue on their way or they may sit a while longer before moving on. In those moments often I learn something about that person that perhaps I hadn't seen before or it confirms something that feels important for me and perhaps then also for them.

Wherever I travel between those times when I am next with that person I value the space that I hold for us not with any effort on my part but through the connection that I have with them. I look forward to being in their presence and their world however long that may be for and standing with them as we unravel the delicate tangled strings that life so often presents us. To see someone really breathe, or truly invest in their life with the same, if not more care than I have for them is the most humbling and joyous of experiences.

Counselling isn't about "fixing" things/people, for me it is about connecting, re-connecting and dis-connecting with so much more than is obvious to the eye, to live the life that we are through what matters to us and what we care about. When we can do that, so much then has the potential to slide into place as an order and balance is resumed or created - never without it's ups and downs but with a peace and strength that we know we will be ok.

picture by Jon Sullivan - PdPhoto

Possibly the hardest love of all to accept for some but when you can say this for yourself the world changes somehow # # #

Exactly 100% 💙

What were you told you're not?

Not sporty, not careful, not academic, not quiet, not practical, not thoughtful, not funny, not handsome, not sociable, not beautiful, not deserving, not...not...not

This can equate for many a innate sense of not feeling good enough, low self worth, low self esteem, a sense of lacking or being lesser in some way, low confidence and so much pain with . Pain that can show itself in depression and anxiety, skin conditions, ruminating, flu like symptoms, constant aches and pains, headaches, sickness...in short any way the body can try to express that sense of deep sadness and grief.

Sadly too often these messages are delivered to us in our lives. When we receive these messages they dont ' magically' disappear if they settle in us. They peck away, taking pieces of our true selves.

Counselling can open a space for questions and challenges to these self beliefs we may have adopted for ourselves and help to clarify our real selves and what we are to ourselves and others x

"Depressed"
"Gaslighted"
Just some examples... Time after time words become 'popular' and used so often inappropriately that those actually experiencing such debilitating and destructive pain aren't always properly heard and I feel strongly that they are.
Similarly calling someone a narcissist seems the latest buzz word in the last 12 months to add to this long list and so often used without proper understanding. My hope is that people will take the time to understand and ask the questions before jumping to labels that can have such a profound impact .

So true 🌻

Very true 👍🏻

I'm probably on 30-40 percent today in energy levels.

I booked the day off in advance, as I went to a gig last night which wasn't in my area, so I knew I'd be flat.

I'm using the time to catch up on CPD.

Currently I'm revisiting a course I purchased from Sounds True with Deb Dana on befriending our nervous systems.

I'm not going to try to push through the 30-40 percent, that would be silly.

Even if all you can manage today is brushing your teeth, then see that as your percentage achieved. If you can do more, great but pats on backs for ANY achievement, however small or insignificant it may feel are essential to aid our wellbeing.

Sometimes in life each day seems very similar.Then other times one day is completely different from the next. Right now I'm just taking a moment to take in the 'Now'. We can't know what the next 2 mins may bring but in this moment I'm just here and wish that for everyone x

Therapy can support you shift from people pleasing patterns and help you become the empowerer of your own life 💙

Day 22 😉 the joy of growth

17 days after planting my slices of tomatoes in compost the seedlings are starting to emerge 🥳 with warmth, care and the aid of some shower caps 😉 it looks like a good start for these young' uns 💓 # it'sthelittlethings x

Love this diagram from Dr Juliet Young. Especially useful as we head closer to exam season.

Suffolk has a range of wellbeing services to support children and young people in our community.

The Source is a great user friendly and highly accessible website providing information, advice and support for young people. Their contact details are

https://thesource.me.uk/
https://www.facebook.com/thesourcewebsite

The Emotional Wellbeing service is also available for children and young people aged 0-25 years.

From their website you can access confidential information, advice and support for children, young people families and professionals. You can also make a referral about the emotional wellbeing or a child or young person in east and west Suffolk and get information about emotional wellbeing support and local services.

Contact details are

www.emotionalwellbeinggateway.org.uk
Phone 0345 600 2090, Monday to Friday 8am-7.30pm

The Chat Health Service is another resource that provides advice from the Suffolk School Nursing Team - Text 07507 333356, Monday to Friday 9am-4.30pm (excluding bank holidays)

Photo by Photo by Neil Thomas on Unsplash
Neil Thomas on Unsplash

Generalised anxiety disorder or GAD as it's more commonly referred to is when symptoms of anxiety persist often without any obvious trigger.

The vicious cycle of anxiety works to place the body on high alert, scanning for threats and dangers with the underlying worry of not wanting to feel how being anxious makes us feel... which in turn makes us anxious. This then will often lead to safety behaviours such as avoidance, ruminating or self medicating with alcohol or drugs to try to numb or quiet the symptoms of feeling the worry, sense of being overwhelmed or fearful, the physical sensations of racing heartbeats, sweating and quickened breathing for example. This provides temporary relief but the brain learns that anxiety should try to be avoided and places the body on even higher alert every time stressful, uncomfortable or worrying situations are experienced so that over time the anxiety worsens and requires less and less stimuli to trigger an anxiety episode.

By reducing the safety behaviours and facing the anxiety the brain learns that it can in fact cope and attacks begin to lessen in duration and number.

It takes an enormous amount of conscious and unconscious energy to face anxiety head on but even more to try to avoid it. Once we understand how we are essentially feeding our anxiety we can then begin to acknowledge and accept anxiety, notice how it is effecting us, take actions to reduce the stress in the body through focusing on relaxation, grounding ourselves through breathing and repeating this as many times as we need to to move through the anxiety. Over time the brain re-learns that we only need to trigger anxiety when it needs to be triggered - when we are in danger.

I work with clients to understand that beneath the presenting anxiety lie the difficult emotions attached to it and in understanding them, the cycle of anxiety can be broken

Image courtesy of psychologytools.com

Anaia Nin said
"We don't see things as they are, we see them as we are"
How are you today?

What better way to get grounded, relax and help conservation at the same time.
The big garden bird watch count is nearly upon us! Dign up via the RSPB page 🤗❤️
https://www.facebook.com/100064786958233/posts/803016175201274/?mibextid=rS40aB7S9Ucbxw6v

The is just over a week away!

Here's another 10 birds to add to your watchlist. From the common to the rare - every piece of data counts!

Not yet signed up? Don't worry there's still time! Join the count here: https://bit.ly/488srm4 🐦

Remember we can never change another person we can only change our response to their behavior.

So when someone repeatedly disrespects you, is dishonest, abusive, racist, or manipulative it’s up to you to stop playing in their game.

You’re not a victim, you are being victimized, but never take on the title of victim to describe yourself.

(Don’t sacrifice your peace trying to point out someone’s true colors. Lack of character always reveals itself in the end.-Mandy Hale)

I will continue to be contactable over the Christmas and New Year period. In addition below are others who are also here to support you. You are not alone x

My clients remain in my thoughts between our appointments together and breaks in our work together because I genuinely without any hidden agenda simply care about them, their lives and their world.

Why? because one person did this for me and changed the direction on my life.

I am here , for them, with them when their internal weather is a tornedo or a sunset, walking side by side with them if they can allow me to share in their world as they experience it.

It can be so hard for them to put themselves as a priority in their own life but they are always a priority in mine and I will always be there for them without demands or judgements. In return I too am honoured to earn their relationship, trust and acceptance, to support them with genuine care and my truest feelings, thoughts and understanding.

After a two week holiday I am sincerely looking forward as I do always to seeing my current clients and continuing our work together.
Past, present or future the mark you make in the world, your world, my world, others world is precious and I for one appreciate you.

Drawing by Charlie Macksey

Kindness changes everything. Join in with our alternative advent calendar and help bring a bit more happiness to others this December 🙏💕🎄 https://actionforhappiness.org/do-good-december