The Rambling Psychotherapist

Today is the start of my first full week back, after a short recharge break that was very much needed. I started the day in the most gorgeous way, with a swim in my local spot (you Leeds swimmers out there will no doubt recognise it).

I wandered along the river bank to the entry point and was amazed, as always, about how beautiful it all was. There was an autumnal nip in the air, a mist on the river and a haze over the newly risen sun which was reflected orange in the water.

I love this time of year, it feels like the endeavours of the summer are starting to round up, and there's a little time for a few more cheeky projects to come to fruition before my energy starts to move into hibernation for the cold, wet and dark months.

So my excursion this morning was a poignant moment of reflection too. It turns out that my life and work are mirroring the season perfectly...

Last week, was the final week in the Take Root beta round and the results have been fabulous; with comments coming out of it like "so much now makes sense to me", "I didn't think I could do anything about these things, I just thought I had to suffer through them" and "I can now spot when I'm starting to get wobbled, and can take steps to support myself through that", I couldn't be more thrilled with the results. There are a few tweaks that I have made, and still want to make based on the findings, but the programme will be open for enrollment again in early September (watch this space).

And I've got a new little project on the go too. I've wanted to do some deep dive, small group sessions for some time now, taking people out into some slightly wilder spaces to reflect and learn about themselves, and the first of these - Leave no Trace - is happening on the 21st & 22nd September. If you're interested, full info and booking are live on Eventbrite now https://www.eventbrite.co.uk/e/984124000377?aff=oddtdtcreator. Any questions, just drop me a message.

I am quietly excited to see how late summer and the roll into autumn will play out. Will you join me for any of it?

It's relaxation day today.

It's so important to make time for relaxation, as it's where our bodies and minds get chance to process, repair and regenerate.

But, relaxation doesn't always mean the same thing to each individual.

For some people, relaxing by a pool, or on the beach is where it's at. For others relaxation might look a little more active. Some people like reading, others like gaming. These differences can be the cause of a fair bit of division in relationships, especially when one person deems the other's idea of relaxation to be unworthy, or their own as more important.

In a healthy relationship, compromise is found, so that everyone gets their need met, for at least some of the time.

Yesterday morning, my partner and I decided to indulge in some joint relaxation, and spent the morning cycling between an open water swimming lake and the sauna. It had enough of everything we both want and need in the mix, to satisfy both our needs.

Another day, it might look very different.

Join me in the comments to let me know how you like to relax 🔽

😍📚 Today is National Book Lovers Day and I am a proud book lover!

Did you know that it's not uncommon for trauma survivors to seek solace and comfort in books?

For some people, temporarily placing themselves in the world of another, was the only respite they could find when they were younger from the relentlessness of their experience. No wonder then, that books are also where people often turn in their search for support, when they are trying to work out how to heal from past experiences too.

Healing is a path of discovery, but, and this is a big but, it's also a path made by walking.

The wisdom we find in books can be really supportive for anyone who is on a trauma recovery journey, but there is a danger that we will get stuck at the 'knowledge gathering' stage and bypass the 'putting our new learning into action phase'.

This is because so many trauma survivors know very well how to perform a relentless search for solutions to a problem, but rarely have they learned that they are important enough to grant themselves the space needed to actually do the things which will make them feel better.

They have all sorts of stories about how selfish it is to permit yourself space, or how weak it makes you to have to do extra things to care for yourself, and it's highly unlikely they will have well developed self-compassion either. So often, people find themselves in the position of knowing all the things they need to do, but not actually doing them with any consistency.

Healing often boils down to getting support to process from a trauma trained professional, as well as finding a handful of simple strategies, which you find supportive, and using them, consistently, over and over again. The more complicated we make things, the less likely we are to do them.

If you find yourself currently starting a healing journey and want some pointers, or you're already a mile down the path & own all the books, but still haven't got to where you want to be; my tip is to go back to basics:

📕 Get yourself one good book about breathing. My favourite is Breath - James Nestor.
📗 Get some understanding about shame. I love Carolyn Spring - Unshame.
📙 And get working on your self-compassion. I love Tara Brach - Radical Compassion

Playday is the national day for play, celebrated each year, across the UK, on the first Wednesday in August - Today, yay 😀

This year's theme is Play – the culture of childhood - Supporting play, fun and friendships.

We all know how important it is for children to play, it's part of how they learn, but did you know that playing is just as important for adults as it is for children?

Play is amazing, it can boost your creativity, sharpen your sense of humor, strengthen your relationships, boost your problem solving abilities and help you cope better with stress.

Anything you do for fun which brings you enjoyment, joy or excitement counts as playing, whether it’s gaming, playing sports, baking/cooking, writing or crafting (this is not an exhaustive list).

Whatever style of play works for you, make sure you prioritise some regular time for it in your life, because it can have substantial benefits for your mental and physical well-being.

My favourite types of play (in no particular order) include exploring the outdoors (on land and in water), dancing wildly (I'm not very coordinated), writing, cooking, and various forms of crafty/creative activities like knitting, crochet, & flower pressing.

Hit the comments to let me know how you get your play fix 🔽

Yesterday (1st August) was Lughnasadh in the traditional wheel of the year.

This day marks the midpoint of summer and is usually around the time of the first grain harvest.

In the past, we would have been more connected with the cycles of the earth, and of growth and harvest. But as our lives get more 'civilised', the size of our disconnect to these cycles grows.

So, you very likely won't be harvesting wheat from your fields right now, but the energy of harvest is still very much around, whether you are connected to it, or not.

You probably have your own personal harvests waiting to be brought in though; things you have nurtured and worked hard to bring into the world since the start of the year.

This is the time when you are called to confront your hopes & fears about your own harvests.

You hope the seeds you planted in your life previously have flourished through the year. And, like the farmer who knows that the timing of the harvest is important, you may have fears rising about your ability to accomplish all you’ve worked hard for. Alternatively you could be sitting here right now thinking, I timed my harvest just right, and you may feel jubilant.

Wherever you are with this, if you feel drawn towards reconnecting with the natural cycles of the earth, Lughnasadh invites a moment of pause and reflection. It's a great opportunity to think more deeply about what is happening in your life.

If this sound interesting, try these journal prompts:

🌾 What are you harvesting in your life right now?
🌙 What do you hope to harvest in the coming months?
🌾 What do you fear might stand in your way? And what is one thing you could do right now to help ensure that won’t happen?
🌙 Despite all the million & one ways you always feel you could do more, take a moment to really appreciate all the hard work you do put into growing and evolving. Spend 10 minutes acknowledging all the hard, hard work you’ve put in this year–into your life, and your self and all the richness you have created or brought into your life.
🌾 Spend some time acknowledging the things you have already harvested this year. Celebrate your wins.

Today is friendship day.

Friendships have a major impact on your health and wellbeing. Adults with strong social connections have a dramatically reduced risk of all sorts of health problems including mental health issues and cardio-vascular problems. They are also likely to live much longer than people whose social connections are limited.

Many people find it hard to develop and maintain friendships.

This might be because your friends have had to take a back seat because of other priorities, such as work or caring for children or aging parents.

You and your friends may have grown apart, due to changes in your lives.

Perhaps you've moved to a new community and haven't found the right places to meet your people.

Or maybe you are shy and have always had problems reaching out to connect.

Whatever your reasons, developing and maintaining good friendships can be a bit of a challenge at times, but the effort to work through the barriers you face is so worth it.

We thrive in connection!

If you are wanting to work through the obstacles you face around making and maintaining friendships, email me at [email protected] to book a discovery call and let's see if working together might be useful.

Tonight is the launch of the Paris 2024 Olympics.

The athletes who are involved, have trained for years to get where they are, and they have made it to the top of their game through their endless dedication to their chosen sport, and by seeking out the support they have needed from trainers and coaches.

The training and support they have received won't all have been about the physical aspects of their sport either. They will have needed psychological support too, to help them refine their skill, develop a supportive mindset, and find enough resilience to cope with the rigors of this level of training.

Leaders need this kind of support too.

If you are lucky, you will have mentors around you who can help you develop the EQ, understanding of people and relationships, and resilience you need to be a leader at the top of your game. Unfortunately though, there are so many people in leadership positions who find that this isn't available to them.

If this is you, I can help.

I support leaders to develop the understanding and skills they need to navigate the relational world of the workplace with much more ease.

Email me at [email protected] to book in a discovery call if you would like to find out more.

It is self-care day today 🥳🥳🥳

And it saddens my heart that this day even exists.

Self-care is an absolute essential part of life, if you want to be a happy, healthy, highly functioning human being. So why our western societies have glorified being selfless and busy is eternally beyond my comprehension.

If we want to have a positive impact in the world as adults, we must learn to resource ourselves first, and start to understand that this is an essential part of the process of being in service, otherwise what you have is a recipe for stress, anxiety and ultimately burnout.

In my work, I spend a lot of time helping people to address their relationship with self-care, so that they can feel more at peace in themselves, and more energised and resourced to do the things they want to do in life, including giving to and caring for others.

The biggest obstacle most people face is that they believe self-care has to involve big, extravagant and time-consuming acts.

When I'm supporting people to bring more self-nurture into their lives, I always encourage for the first step to be incorporating small, daily, sacred rituals into life.

And no, I'm not trying to convert you to any form of spirituality here, sacred in this context means *regarded as too valuable to be interfered with*.

I advocate for people to incorporate small acts of self-care into their routines, which they treat as non-negotiable.

If you want a bit of inspiration, my sacred rituals are a morning cold water dip, followed by a coffee and at least fifteen minutes of exercise, which I do every day before I start turning my attention to the outside world (I don't even look at my phone before these are complete). And then, at some other point in the day, I will go for a walk in a natural space, sometimes in company and other times alone.

These small acts keep me sane! 🙃 They boost my dopamine and serotonin levels, support me to feel connected to myself, ground me so that I feel more resilient, and help me feel energised enough to deal with life 😊

What are your sacred rituals?

Let me know in the comments 🔽

We've tipped past the half way point for the Take Root beta programme, and feedback so far is that people are really enjoying and benefiting from the course.

The gang that are signed up, have been discovering what has shaped their nervous systems throughout their lives and learning some simple strategies to support them to reshape their system, so that they can feel more resilient, and draw sustenance from life through challenging times.

I'm so thrilled that folks are getting so much out of it.

The doors for enrollment will be opening again after the Beta programme has completed in a few weeks time.

Sign up to the waiting list here https://4c8a5d06.sibforms.com/serve/MUIFAPa6HKjZ4NOm2_gjAeh-DnEf31uQdRHp51Ay49M9BdJMn6F6VryEvsESR0anVgDyUF0--77_AOqDS8teUdvnPaW-JDJ98Qm0vm9qiC7PrudkjTFDRgrBZ5yBos5qc-Wzj36U_G6K6w7Hmt5nYApZ3MQUzTQVlF69PHIGM4BSfP4nU6ijTtSIy38-4oBVSC8snviREY5joZqj for more info and to be the first to get notified when the doors open again.

Many people are heading into the school holidays now. But whether you have school age kids or not, the lack of routine and the stress that holiday season can cause, can have a big impact.

So, here's some tips for getting to the other side without feeling frazzled:

1. Keep some structure. It doesn't have to be massive, it can be simple things like regular sleep and wake times and a morning routine through the week.

2. Don't plan too much in. It can be tempting to run round like a crazy fool all summer, taking as much advantage of any time off and good weather (🤞🤞🤞) as you can. But, your energy resources do have limits, so you need adequate rest and space to fit in all the normal life stuff too.

3. Remember quiet play time (kids or not), engaging in quiet activities that you enjoy can be replenishing, particularly if they have no outcome attached to them.

4. Keep everyone fed. There's nothing worse than being out and about trying to enjoy your summer when you have a hangry child or adult with you. Do yourself a favour and keep everyone's blood sugars stable by not overloading on the starchy carbs and sugary stuff, and getting plenty of fibre and protein inside you every day.

5. Make sure you take time out just for you. Everyone needs some down time.

6. Fresh air everyday, particularly if you can out in green or blue space, helps keep everyone upbeat and relaxed.

7. Social time (for adults and children alike). We all differ in how much we need, but don't neglect it over the summer, you will reap the rewards later when you are still feeling sane.

8. Accept and be kind to yourself. You are a human, not a machine. If things don't go according to plan, don't give yourself grief. You don't have to be perfect!

It's World Emoji Day!

In honour of this most serious of days, here's a pic of me doing my best emoji impression.

No seriously, I have a more sober point to make here, but I'm hoping you will join me in having a bit of fun illustrating it.

If you're up for joining me - hit the comments and tell me what's happening for you today, using just emojis and I'll see if I can guess what's going on (remember, no rude ones please, this account is for all ages).

*and now for the serious bit*

Communication is not simple and when we omit any of our sensory input (vision and sound particularly), there are massive gaps left in the information we are conveying. This leaves lots of room for interpretation and is usually where stuff can go wrong, because people, on the whole, are not all that brilliant at mind reading.

Instead they paste all over the situation what they think you mean, based on their histories (my Take Root gang are learning all about this process this week, it's called projection). And, it's rare that people will choose to fill the gaps with something that is in alignment with what you intended, or indeed that is positive.

When communicating electronically, emojis have become a popular way of trying to plug the gaps. And while they are a way of more clearly expressing your intention than words alone, they are never going to be adequate to make up for a lack of facial expressions, tone and speed of voice, or body language.

My recommendation is that, while emojis are great for having a bit of fun, if you have something important to say to someone, it's always best, where possible, to have that conversation face-to-face, or at least via video link or phone call, so there is less space left for misunderstanding.



Want to get better at communicating? Get in contact, let's see if working together might be helpful. Email me at [email protected] to book a discovery call.

I noticed I've had a few new followers recently and, as it's been a while since I introduced myself, I thought I'd pop by and say hi.

I'm Rachel, also known as the Rambling Psychotherapist

As you can probably guess by the name, I'm a massive outdoors enthusiast and a firm believer that the natural world holds so much power which can support us on our healing journeys. So, I decided to bring as many elements of nature as I could into my work.

I work online and in the outdoors, although at present my outdoor sessions are full.

When I'm not working, you will usually find me up a hill, in the woods, in a pond, or in a river somewhere (I like other places too, these are just my favourite haunts).

I'm a passionate northern woman, a mum and step-mum and live with my gorgeous partner. I love food (I mean, I really love food 😋) and am passionate about how it can support us to be well. And, I love love love music.

I believe in walking my talk. I didn't arrive at being a therapist because it sounded like a fun job, I have walked and am still walking my own path of healing and self-discovery and I am very privileged to be able to share what I have learned over the years (through training and personal experience) with some amazing people.

I believe this personal experience helps keep me grounded in the work that I do with people, so if you want to work with me at some point, I will always offer a down-to-earth approach.

This picture is a selfie I took a few months ago when I decided to join a guided walk and outdoor workshop, and scare myself silly in the process 😂 I like to challenge myself every once in a while.

If you're new around these parts, or we've never said hi before, or simply if we've not connected in a while - drop by the comments and give me a wave 👋👋👋

It's really nice to meet you 😊

Life can feel really complicated at times and you can get caught up in your head, running things round and round and round, or reacting to programming from the past, rather than what is happening right now.

Coming back into the present moment can support you to anchor yourself in the here and now and to return to a more relaxed state, which in turn supports you to be more resilient and deal with challenges more effectively.

The good news is, that many of the ways to bring yourself back into the here and now, are actually really simple.

Give one of these a go next time you find yourself caught up in a whirlwind of thoughts, or feeling reactive:

💦 Challenge your senses so that they pay attention to what is happening right here, right now, rather than in some past or future scenario. Run your hands under cold water or eat a strong tasting mint.
🐝 Try humming! Humming interrupts thinking and encourages you to extend your exhale, which helps lower your heart rate and down-regulates your nervous system.
🏝 Orient yourself in your environment. Purposefully direct your senses outwards to remind yourself of the things you can see, hear, feel, taste and touch.
🌳 Get outside into a green or blue space and breathe. The sights, sounds and smells around you, as well as the molecules you inhale in these spaces actively support coming back into regulation.

Happy World Simplicity Day!

Over these last few weeks the Take Root participants have been learning all about how their nervous systems have been shaped and trying out new strategies to give their survival system a reboot.

This week, we've been talking about how your internal voices have as big an impact on your nervous system as the external ones do and learning to befriend the inner critic.

Self-compassion is not a skill that comes naturally to many people, it has to be practiced in order for it to feel more comfortable. A good old reframe can be a great tool to support this process.

When you catch yourself being critical and punishing to yourself, try a slight mind-shift into a curious position. Asking helpful questions of yourself in these moments can often provide you with information which will support you to work through challenges rather than being beaten down by them (and yourself).

Enrollment onto Take Root is currently closed, until the beta programme is complete. But, if you would like to get in on the action when the doors open again, put your name on the waiting list here https://4c8a5d06.sibforms.com/serve/MUIFANOml1b2b9B4MU9uRiZQj2-pU7lUlFUpAMHVSNHAPbiT3iPk2AASETKO5XEVjPQwGgeEWktLRJuBJafFDfUwOsE1gxlnPyHsmXK0Oj39yYADSL414zLGw5d_4cX9V96s5c4qJh6AWGtCFT7-xeTXQqnaUWBaDRCgdipn8xsCgMkCW4Kd1f0KZbb6fTIjPNpjBO-5gKhroVAZ

Did you know that co-regulation is a nervous system to nervous system communication?

I have seen some astounding changes in a person's level of nervous system arousal, just from ensuring my breathing is steady and regulated whilst being in the same space as them. There has been absolutely no need for words, and no encouragement for them to engage with any strategies. Just my regulated nervous system, communicating with theirs, because we happen to be in the same space.

You can find co-regulation in some very surprising places, it doesn't have to all be about seeking support from a trusted, safe person.

Want to test this theory out for yourself? Next time you feel activated:

🌳 Try sitting down on the sofa and spending time with your pet.
🌳 What about heading out to the park and feeding the birds?
🌳 Or take a walk through the woods and listen to the birdsong.

Really engage with the experience, pay attention to what you are seeing, hearing, smelling and feeling. Notice what happens in your nervous system as you engage - check your breathing, heart rate and muscle tension. Do you see a change?



If you want to find out more about retraining your nervous system, so you don't feel quite so knocked about by life when difficulties hit, get in touch. Email me at [email protected] to book in a discovery call

I only have, at any one point, a limited amount of spaces to work with people in the outdoors. These are all full at the moment, and because of the nature of the work I do with people, I don't keep a waiting list.

Thankfully however, our world is super connected, a bit like the forests and woods I walk with people in. And, exploring different ways of connecting can sometimes yield quite interesting results.

The internet has opened up the world of therapy massively and, far from being a second rate cousin to face-to-face support, it can have just as potent an impact.

If you are looking for support and are open to exploring different ways of getting it, why not give online therapy a try.

For want of nothing else, it will open up the options of available therapists massively, so you get to choose a therapist that really suits you.

If you like what I have to say, why not book in a discovery call and find out if we might be a good fit to work together. Email me at [email protected]

It's World Yoga Day!

There are people out there who are far more qualified than I to wax lyrical about the benefits of committing to a yoga practice. I think it is worth a mention though, that a regular yoga practice can be a really useful adjunct to therapy.

We live in a world which offers us endless distractions for our minds and as a result, many of us find ourselves in a near permanent state of being slightly numbed out and not tuned into our self. Being in this state really gets in the way of us finding the awareness we need to embark on a journey of positive change, so I find myself spending a lot of my time teaching / reminding people how to listen to what their bodies are telling them.

Yoga excels at helping us come back to ourselves and pay attention to what is happening in the present moment. And, it provides us with soooo many resources to help bring our nervous systems back into a regulated state.

I have had a regular practice for over twenty years now, and yoga has never failed to support me to find balance and lean into growth.

For the last year I've been engaging in a regular restorative practice, and this pose (Viparita Karani or Legs up the Wall pose) is one of my absolute favourites.

It helps to calm the nervous system and is reported to strengthening immune health. It also provides us with some, often pleasant, much-needed time out.

If you have a 5 or 10 min break in your day, I’d highly recommend making Viparita Karani a part of it. Yoga teaching tells us that the posture reverses and rebalances aspects of the physical and energetic body and it’s also a great way to shift your state of mind.

Why not gift yourself a much needed break to practice Viparita Karani and see what happens?

If all else fails, you'll have had a nice little break, but who knows, you might just return to your day feeling refreshed and calm.

Let me know how you get on in the comments ⬇️



** Note, this pose can also be done up against a tree, gazing up into the canopy and watching the dappled sunlight filter through the leaves as they wave gently in the breeze, not that I'm trying to sell it to you or anything 😉😊