Sunshine and rainbow's mental health recovery

Recovery

Im on this ride called recovery,
Setting myself up to see lifes new discovery,
Less angry more positive feeling happy,
No longer the old becky who was so snappy,
Feeling funky fresh with this mew life,
Putting an end to my mental health and putting down the knife,
Swapping my frown for a smile,
No longer letting my thoughts sit a while,
Released my nagative feelings,
Now i have new meanings,
Im glad ive found a new me,
A good thing for all to see,
Ive worked hard for them all to say im proud,
And if they dont chuck them to the big wide world crowd,
Saying bye to everything that once was amd what is,
Im the women who once a miss,
Now im the one whos got of the ground and survived,
Ive allowed myself to be the one who gets revived.....

Not posted in a while been working on me and smashing recovery......

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So part of my story....

6 months ago I was adement I was going to fall to the trap of su***de in the 6 months and I went into a psychiatric hospital after several attempts under a section 3 of the mental health act several 136s and several section 2s I was in hospital a whole of 5 months.
im doing so much better 25% help from staff 0% help from freinds 5% help from psychiatrist 20% family and lastly 50% me.
Let me tell you one thing it takes u to change your outlook.
It takes you to make that difference.
It take for you to want to live.
Lastly let me let you.. know you have all the time to die but you only get one life and that life lasts approximately 80 to 100 years its actually not that long really so why not just live it your best way, do things that make you happy, go on adventures, do things you wouldn't do guess what go live your life

A poem

Half bated smile....

Here's my half bated smile,
Just let your thoughts sit there a while,
Even when your going through a dark time,
Just read and listen to my lyrics wait what they rhyme,
Hiding behind the mask,
Pushing through pretending to be okay so it doesn't show you know what that's it that's the task,
Show you don't care,
Be naked be bare,
Got so many questions its been along time since I've felt like me,
I dont even know who I can turn to,
Come on then go get your crew,
Oh no I don't know if I should be here,
Or just drown myself with another beer,
Forget the problems they don't matter,
Life just makes your heart shatter,
Do I move on when I'm hurting inside dam its a pain I hold dear,
Just drop it you know that black hole jump with no regrets into the fear,
Smoke the w**d getting high,
While everyone around just sits and watches ha well they do sigh,
Do what you want anyway when your brains completely lost it,
What's the point of lighting the light that was once lit,
It's gone now and I can't find the matches so I just in the dark,
Let it succumb me not because I have given up but because everytime I light up someone blows me out then I lose my spark,
So I just continue to live when I want to die,
Put me in the ground swollow me up spit me out I know you all think holy s**t dam why,
It's been a long path,
It wasn't easy Ive been thrown some traumatic s**t and you all just asking me to live through it its not funny you know it ain't no laugh,
I fight daily the struggles I go through what I see around me the worlds falling apart dam its hate,
Like shooting from a range letting lose of the bullet being in this constant shocked state,
But I get up everyday and continue I don't feel love anymore I miss my smile my happiness and the hope,
But I guess il just cope,
The sun rises and falls,
If this is so than I shall I grow my balls,
Suck it up buttercup and carry on and put on my fake smile and glow,
Instead of feeling the full blow,
I cant help that I feel so dead Inside like the flowers that don't bloom,
Just put me in my god dam tomb,
I know that I'm damaged,
My names tarnished,
So I sit here right now and show you my half bated smile......

Not posted for a very long while but here's a new poem....

A poem

Unknown title

Ever lived with a body that wants to live and thrive,
and a mind that wants to die no longer knows how to be alive,
Branded criminality, dangerous and a no hope,
It's the pain that truly does show,
Going all out to cause yourself so much harm,
Showing the world how you've lost your charm,
Spiralling so much you've lost it,
Your light that was once lit,
Windows smashing the anger filled my veins like a shot of adrenaline after wanting to be an angle,
Hit me like a shot like electricity or the sting after a taser,
A prisoner of your own mind the poor jailer,
Il get you before you get me,
A destruction left behind look I've let you see,
What's truly happening in my dark mind its a story,
The scars left behind show you every bit of pain and glory,
The deeper I go shows the more I've let go of me,
A peice of me left behind for you to truly see,
The fire that burns around me in the middle circled by flames,
It's truly beautiful and sometimes can't be tamed,
It's a way to release the demons this crazy burning in my soul,
It's part of my story my deep hole,
A story that should be told,
All in capitals and lit up bright and bold.......

By Rebecca ellison no copyright this is my original

R.Ellison

A motivational speech

Eveytime you break there's opertunity to get stronger faster and tougher we all go through tragedy but the strongest survive the fights just begun its time to show the world what im made it I xan beat it I must my lifes not over, im going to get through this nothing can stop me only me im not retreating im not running we live by this and we die by this w edge by wjat we stand but nobody knows what we represent be courage today no matter how many times u fall there is a spirit in you who believes fight your way through it, You know sometimes u get the feeling things ain't going my way things don't just go your way you got to make then go your way what u did yesterday relays on what u do today you may deal with a great deal of failure but be relentless go make things happen your the one holding u up, look in the mirror and see a warrior don't hold any human accountable other than your self most people will give up but you have to decide to be fearless be relentless but don't not fo anything I woke up one day and realised my lifes not over your lifes never over there's still time to shine rise up move forward down the path shut down the perfetic excuses there is time to let your mind wonder go do what your heart tells you be the best you, when you feel like giving don't when yiur thinking about giving up don't when it looks liek your not going to make it keep going if they say ur not going to make it don't belive them don't give up stay in it stay focused quiting guarantees the failure put one foot in front of the other be happy I spite of lifes challenges we end feeling like there's no way out wheres there's a will there's a way we can take the responsibility to change keep telling your story over and over again remind yourself u git yourself here you can take yourself further than you think u can go keep your focus if u have a dream and commit to it it will come to you make no mistake it will be hard but your the determined factor easy is not an option but you'll discover its worth it and find reasons why it's worth it for yiu what gives u the drive tap I to yiur feeling g no matter how many times u get knocked down make your come back we all have the right to be here on this planet and your lifes worthy to be here so I bed you please keep on holding on use your imagination I dare you keep dreaming keep focusing on your dream keep going at it till u succeed don't allow Amy to tell you your not good enough it hurts to be in the dark place but I need u to hold on strong don't give up make an impact in this world lifes short many people didn't realise the next day they wouldn't wake up but ur still living what do u have to do to move forward how u going to perceive yiur life u must make it there will be fear and doubt but that has no place I yourjourney dint let anyone take away who you are I need u to belive in every possibility u have of u feel broken im here to let u know ur built to last in here to let u know u got to keep on living but you are the one who has to be responsible to go through it the sun always roses and u will see the light within you wants ur lights over u xant cone back leave u mark help someone be there when there down when ur weakest point In ur life someone will lift u up you will be repayed for your kindness that lights always been there within you it exists within u, what are u going to do about the life u have how you going to live run with greatness and a full heart keep pushing forward live please please hold on if your reading this at your darkest moment and I've managed to reach u, u feel no one cares but its about self love understand urslef u have to fall in love with yourself stop self Hating yourself do something that will make u a better person make an impact In this world ur still living ur still here reading this hang on it there's lifes not a game lifes for living there will be good and bad but don't wait for someone to make your life better u have to make ur life better get rid of things that are not making you strong rid of negativity once ur lifes over there's no going back be the strength for others when there weak we all struggle no one is immune to it don't give up live breath life you that's what it's about its gunna hurt sometime it will be tough but ull get tough make sure u make ur mark in this world as someone didn't make it today but u did keep living living strong don't give up............ its not about worrying about what happend tomorrow as tomorrow is not promised and yesterday can't be changed live I the day today tge one your standing in u have problem been through hell but hell doesn't own you or created u something u need to understand that no matter who u are everyone struggles everyone suffers but everybody that's going through something has a sorry to tell,...... let's go beyond that what about people who can't be cured don't take your life as someone right now is praying to live, holding on to hope please don't feel sorry for yourself find your light and let it shine you deserve a pat on the back for fighting and staying staying alive, life is not easy at all, there's going to be challenges your going to get neat down that's how life is don't wear ur mask show who you really can be don't let fear paralyse u have hope don't say this is it this is how I end please just begin do the math solve one problem then next keep getting up the experience ur having right now hasn't come to stay it will pass we have good and bad days don't operate under the spell decapline your emotions don't beat your self up your kinds automatic u jave to be willing to harness your will make your come back if you wnat it you can get its a matter of decapline and determination have the never die attitude you may get people try to break you down cry to keep going not to quit tell your self I won't give up when that depression hits you xan have your dream u don't know what the possibility are for your life you don't no what will happen in your future if God hasn't took you yet then your not ready to go so hang on in there....

a poem ive wrote for a competition

its called mental health support workers

Stuck here in this hospital hell,
By the end of this poem you will tell,
That these support workers stop me from climbing the walls,
And make up these friendly hospital halls,
Even when patients are hurting screaming shouting ligatures out,
It’s the support workers, who start running about,
When the alarms going off,
Support worker this is just a one-off,
Support worker I don’t know if I can cope,
I don’t see any hope,
I feel like I’m going under,
Why you sit back and wonder,
Support worker you make me feel bigger than giving up I’m smart,
You give me back my heart,
Support worker you give me strength,
You make me go that extra length,
You give me back control over what was once lost,
Support worker you always tell me ill recover you’ll keep your fingers crossed,
You tell me I can get better and well,
And I will come out of my shell,
Support worker you tell me when I see recovery,
I’ll see a world full of discovery,
Support worker you tell me I got this life,
And I can win this fight,
You tell me to wear my crown with pride,
And take every step in my stride,
The journey is hard you just have to keep on going and shine,
Support worker you tell me to keep myself and my life in line,
You tell me to pick myself up every time I fall,
You tell me ive got this I’ve got it all,
Support worker I’m searching for love everyday,
Like a warm hug in May,
When I see a support worker this is what I see,
A support worker is someone who works hard don’t you agree,
Support worker what do you see,
Support worker tell me,
As I scream support worker I don’t want to die,
And support worker you calmly tell me to hold on and try,
You’re a shoulder to cry on and a helping hand,
You always keep my feet on soft land,
You’re a ray of sun on a cloudy day,
Support worker you whisper the soft words and say,
Im your support worker I’m here to help,
Theres no more need to yelp,
Your safe now,
Il keep you in the know how,
Support worker you’re like a guardian angel in the sky,
Looking down upon us all wondering why,
Hold my hand whilst I cry,
Don’t worry support worker IL survive and give it one more try……
By Rebecca Ellison

All free soothe boxes are gone

1 box left first person to like this post gets a free soothe box Soothe boxes with a variety of toys and things you may also need in them, like fidget toys for anxiety and autism distraction toys for everyone, distraction techniques to learn and use by all, specifically designed for self harm and negative or intusive thoughts you can ask about soothe boxes via message, I can send you pictures of what toys amd dostractions will be in the boxes, i can also help you to create your own sooth box l containing items useful to you but try our variety box cintaning a variety of items also disgnated soothe boxes for auitism, Mental health difficulties including but not limited to depression anxiety psychosis and self harm also great to use in a crisis or if your feeling stressed or distressed amd can't cope our soothe boxes will help, message for cost of soothe boxes starting price at £20 this includes free delivery depending in how fast you would like your delivery possible cost for postage and packaging.....

A few things to know about eupd

Sunshine and rainbow's mental health recovery updated their phone number.

If the world was ending...

If the world was ending would you be my side,
Because In my darkest moments I need you so don't hide.
If the world was ending would you be my guiding light,
Because you shine so bright.
If the world was ending would you be my star in the sky,
Because with you I'm always on a high.
Of the world was ending would you be my key to happiness,
Because I need your help to release all this sadness.......

By Rebecca ellison

My ceiling with my sensory light on so relaxing it lights the whole room up like that very cool even has shooting stars I love it # # #

Here's a poem....

It's called heal...

No one can heal you,
You don't have to do this alone to,
You don't have to struggle in silence,
You don't need to become violent,
You should accept the support around you and work alongside your mental health own it and be you,
Be happy through and through,
If we start being honest about our pain,
Then not so many people would feel the shame,
Stop pretending you only exist,
Put down your fists,
The world's a better place woth you in it,
You know you can recover try to keep your light lit,
It might not get better straight away but you'll get stronger,
Your heart will be more fonder,
You will smile again just keep that in your head,
Come on wake up and get out of that bed,
Give yourself credit for how far you've come,
Put your music on and feel the vibes go on sing the lyrics or just hum,
Self care is how you take back your powers,
Stop building those walls and amd towers,
Your not the bad feelings,
Your so much more to the world you know all those meanings,
Get out of your lost head,
Remember what I've said,
You are the beautiful sunshine and also the storm,
I feel you I know you've been there before and your torn,
Depression may knock you of your feet,
But afterwards stand tall don't allow yourself to be defeated,
Don't allow yourself to become easily heated,
You deserve more than being treated badly by others,
Be kind to one another,
There will be failures lessons learnt and set backs,
Now that's a fact,
Just be kind to yourself and heal,
Allow yourself to feel......

"YOUR ALLOWED BOUNDARIES YOUR MORE THAN JUST DEPRESSION OR YOUR ILLNESS AMD ITS OKAY TO REST YOU WILL BE OKAY ACCEPT THE HELP JUST REMEMBER WHEN YOUR NEARING THE END OF YOUR EPISODE YOU HAVE TO HEAL YOURSLEF AGAIN NO MATTER HOW MANY TIMES YOU FALL DOWN GET BACK UP AND KEEP ON TRYING"

By Rebecca ellison

So I want to hear your poems guys wether your any good at it or not give it a go post them in the comments below it can be about anything go on don't be shy you don't have to feel embarrassed or lack confidence on my page your free to be who you are on here and anyone being nasty or inappropriate will be immediately removed blocked reported......

Thanks for appreciating my page amd hope to read some of your poems much love sunshine and rainbow x

Sorry I've not posted for a bit I've been really unwell in psychiatric hospital but im back fighting stronger than ever before so here's a poem called happiness is beautiful x

Beauty is everywhere you only have to look and see,
Happiness is not something ready made it comes from your own actions to make you free,
Happiness is letting go of what you think life is suppose to look like,
You've been happy before remember it's like riding a bike,
Happiness is a function of accepting what is and what will be will be,
When your low Happiness will be something you will surely miss Happiness is the key,
Happiness is beautiful and there's no beauty without a fight,
You have the power and the might,
Happiness is a direction not a place,
Happiness is soul searching and finding your happy space,
The only thing that will bring you Happiness is the people around you and guess what it's you,
Happiness is letting go to,
Happiness has no specific paths,
Happiness doesn't take the skills of knowing maths,
The key to the beauty of Happiness is knowing you have the power to make choices and Wisely choose,
The problem with Happiness is you can let go or lose,
Happiness is beautiful 😍 ....

A poem.....

JUST ME......

I am a daughter of dust,
I am a fighter and I have to keep doing my best I must,
I am a true sister of yam,
My mind wants me to keep going like I know I can,
I come from a long line of women,
Il never allow myself to be just done,
I don't take no mess,
I have my wings and il try my best,
I dont apologies for living,
I keep on with my wings and keep on giving,
I know my worth,
I am deep rich and free,
Don't belive me just wait and watch and see,
I have my wings so I'm grateful,
With my wings tightly close I xan move the world,
Even when my wings fall off amd my worlds swirled,
Sometimes I'm the shining sun and others I'm the colossal storm,
Wirh my wings I will transform,
I've dealt with grief amd grew my wings,
Im like nature the flowers that grow in spring,
Call me anything other than that my soul is black,
Know I can keep my wings il be free,
Free to be me....

By Rebecca ellison

A poem...

Called nurse ...
This is dedicated to the nurses at meadowbrook you may not know but im currently in hospital on a section... but im fighting strong....

Here it is...

NURSE.....

nurse,
Paint there minds,
There are so kind,
They guide your thoughts,
Nurses Advise you when your negative mind gets you caught,
They inspire you and there knowledge is true,
They help you when your feeling blue,
Nurses light up your recovery path,
They are amazing all the staff,
They teach us lessons,
When giving us 1-1 sessions,
Each smile a nurse gives strengthens and lengthens each of your goals,
Nurses brighten uo your soul,
The wisdom they bring,
Makes your heart sing,
Nurses are the best,
They stop you when your in one big mess,
They tell you that your a survivor,
They remind you that you will revive,
Nurses remind you that your alive,
So for you nurse il keep going and survive.....

A poem...

I am enough....

I was searching,
I was looking,
I was wondering desperately trying to see,
I have nothing missing,
Who said I was lost to begin with,
I am enough,
Everything I need is within me,
Each morning I wake up,
Im grateful for the beauty around me,
Life is a gift,
I want to enjoy it,
Always tyring to prove my worth,
Only to destroy it,
I am enough,
Everything I need is part of me,
My motivation can't be validated,
Im always starving for more affection,
The wrong attention,
Only to feel like im nothing,
Who said i have to find who I am,
Who said I was lost to begin with,
I am enough,
I have nothing to find,
But everything to feel,
Only I can define what is meaningful for me,
Even when im feeling breakable,
I have to tell myself I'm strong,
I have to belive im valuable,
I am worthy,
I should be proud of where I've been and where I'm going,
I've gone through so much,
I still hang on in there and fight for my life
I am enough,
Everything I need is within me......

By Rebecca ellison