Lindsay Wilkinson, Consultant Clinical Psychologist

Lindsay Wilkinson, Consultant Clinical Psychologist is now on WhatsApp.

Check out the awesome posts on mostlyadhd. This one really spoke to me of the experience a lot of the people I work with have

This is a useful article for us all at this time

Why You Always Feel Tired, Even If You're Moving Less Than Ever
https://www.huffpost.com/entry/why-tired-lately-moving-less-covid-19_l_5eb94bbdc5b670ec65ed2b22

Why You Always Feel Tired, Even If You're Moving Less Than Ever The coronavirus pandemic has us exercising and moving around less, yet we have no energy. What gives?

I'm posting this attached video on revived from the corona virus not to worry people but to help them to think about loved ones and themselves if they contract the virus. We need to think about the help and support that people might need and the fact that this may need to go on for weeks or even months after they are no longer experiencing the obvious symptoms. If people don't think about this, they might put too much pressure on themselves or loved ones to 'get back to normal' and may become irritated or impatient if that doesn't happen in the timescale expected.

I particularly draw your attention to the tiredness and mental health issues that might occur. People have a habit of thinking that tiredness is something you should ignore or push past and that giving in to it is weak or a failing. When your body is recovering from an illness it needs more sleep as sleep is the primary time that repairs to the body can occur. Damage to the lungs can also mean that oxygen delivery is impaired which makes everything use more energy and thus even everyday tasks use the same energy that would normally be taken up going for a run.

Feeling anxious, depressed or having other symptoms such as flashbacks or panic attacks is not a sign of weakness after a serious illness. It is very common for people to become more anxious after they consider that they might have died and struggle with any prolonged recovery. The absence of visitors will make this worse as people won't have had the opportunity to reality check their fears whilst in hospital or be supported or reassured so they may have had long periods of time with nothing to do but worry about their future. This can hit people who have never suffered from anxiety or depression particularly hard as they don't have the skills or experience to fall back on and others around them may not think to check in on them. Its also very hard to become reliant on others for a prolonged period if you have always been the strong one and the pressure to be fine and get back to normal as quickly as possible might be very high.

You may also experience high levels of anxiety or depression or even post traumatic stress symptoms if it wasn't you who was ill but a loved one. Worrying about them, again particularly when you can't visit them, may push your anxiety levels through the roof and many of our normal support systems are missing right now. If your partner has ended up in hospital, you may have a whole range of feelings that you don't think you should talk about as you are now supporting their recovery and as you are having to be the strong one whilst they recover.

If you are struggling and finding this difficult, you aren't alone. Try to access your support network via videochat or phone - you aren't bothering them, they would rather help than watch you suffer. If this doesn't help or you have a limited support network, there are a range of resources available to you. Call your gp and ask them what resources are available via the nhs or look up other resources at :

https://www.nhs.uk/oneyou/every-mind-matters/urgent-support/

If that doesn't give you the help you need and you need more in depth support for yourself or your loved one, please don't hesitate to get in touch and we can chat about whether I can help.

BBC News - Coronavirus: How long it takes to recover
https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/health-52508831

Every Mind Matters | One You Feeling stressed, anxious, low or struggling to sleep? Every Mind Matters and One You can help with expert advice and practical tips. Start the fightback to a healthier you today.

Quite a useful article for parents. Watch out for getting into unhelpful cycles with your kids such as finding clingy behaviour too much and then pushing them away, pushing them extra hard to do school work when they can't concentrate etc.

Remember too that you may well be going through a lot of these feelings and difficulties yourself so compassion all round is needed. You will have moments where you lose your temper and don't parent by the text book - that's normal! Try stopping to calm back down, and chatting it through with your kids. Apologising for losing your temper or not doing something perfectly doesn't make you weak - it teaches your kids that everyone messes up and the important thing is to apologise and then try to learn from your mistakes.

Most importantly remember this is new to everyone and no one knows exactly how to react. We're all just doing our best to survive and being up front and honest about that as a family may well help all of you get through

10 Mental Health Signs To Watch Out For In Kids In The Age Of COVID-19 Child psychologists share their advice for concerned parents during this time of uncertainty.

Thanks to the sanctuary, Shildon for sharing this

I just wanted to update you on what changes I am making in light of the corona virus spreading across the country. Following government guidance, I am going to be practicing social distancing for the next few months as I fall into one of the vulnerable categories. This means I won’t be able to offer face to face appointments but will instead be moving to using video or telephone calls for sessions. I can use a range of technologies, depending on your preference (although unfortunately I don’t have access to facetime) and am happy to arrange sessions flexibly as usual.

If you aren’t familiar with video calling, don’t worry it is really easy to use. If you have a smart phone, a tablet, a laptop or a pc with a we**am attached, you will be able to connect easily enough. If you don’t have software for video calling already set up, let me know and I will send you a link to connect to me on skype which will talk you through the process of downloading the appropriate software and setting up an account (there is no cost to use such software). If you don’t have the appropriate technology or don’t like using videotechnology, let me know and we can discuss what alternatives might be available to you.

I will still be available for phone calls and to respond to emails as usual so if you are struggling through this difficult time. If you are anxious and stressed and are just needing a little extra support, don’t hesitate to get in touch and we can arrange a session time or just have a chat as needed.

Please take care of yourselves and your loved ones. This is a strange, unprecedented time and it is hard to deal with the uncertainty out there. Be kind to yourselves and others around you and we can all get through this intact

Best wishes

Lindsay

With all the worry out there, this might be helpful

https://www.mind.org.uk/information-support/coronavirus-and-your-wellbeing/

Coronavirus and your wellbeing You might be worried about coronavirus (also known as COVID-19) and how it could affect your life. This may include being asked to stay at home or avoid other people.

For those of you struggling at Xmas, you aren't alone

Managing Trauma

Bad things happen to everyone, no matter how much one tries to avoid them. Whether this is an accident, the loss of a loved one, the end of a relationship or being bullied at work, experiencing a trauma can leave you struggling to manage for prolonged periods.

How people respond to a trauma is affected by a whole range of things such as the beliefs they have about themselves and the world, the support they have and the ongoing impact of the trauma on their life. Some people seem able to shake off the bad event and move on whereas others can find themselves in a nightmare which they don’t feel able to escape.

Experience bad reactions immediately after a traumatic event is normal but sometimes it is so severe it prevents you living your life, or the symptoms persist longer than you would expect. When this happens, people often need professional help to find their way back to their lives. A severe reaction that lasts for more than 6 months post trauma and is characterised by nightmares, flashbacks, avoidance of events reminding you of the trauma, as well as a range of other symptoms, can be a sign that you have developed post traumatic stress disorder (commonly known as PTSD) and may need professional help. The success rate of treatments for PTSD are high so don’t lose hope, you can get your life back but try and seek help as soon as you realise that you are struggling.

There are some things that you can do post trauma to reduce the chances that you will go on to develop PTSD. The first of these is talk about the event with people who are supportive and who understand. Talking about what happened helps you to process the events and make sense of them. It also helps you to do the other thing that really helps, challenge any unhelpful sense of self blame. Lot of people who survive traumatic events blame themselves inappropriately for what happened. Talking to supportive people around you can help you to get a more objective picture of what happened. Finally, you can improve your chances of surviving by trying to get back as much as possible to life as usual. You may feel more anxious when travelling to certain places or doing certain things, but it will get easier with time and avoiding things only postpones the inevitable.

Remember though if you can’t find your way back to life after a trauma, its not a sign of failure or weakness, you are just one of the many people who need a little extra help to get over the something awful that has happened to them. If you think you do need some extra help, feel free to message me to see if I can help or contact a support service such as MIND at www.mind.org.uk

Home

I seem to always be promoting coursera videos - I think I might have to start asking them for a fee....

When looking through courses I came across a course called the philosophy of emotions. I have watched the first week and it looks like a pretty useful introduction to the subject for people who have difficulties in this area. I do need to give a heads up that the presenter is a little difficult to understand at times but I think it may well be worth persisting with. I would be really interested for feedback if anyone accesses the course:

https://www.coursera.org/learn/emotions/home/week/1



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Coursera | Online Courses From Top Universities. Join for Free 1000+ courses from schools like Stanford and Yale - no application required. Build career skills in data science, computer science, business, and more.

Just wanted to do a little promoting of this fabulous charity who are operating in the north east and who are offering free, unlimited counselling to people with a history of trauma. Given that so many of the nhs resources have been cut back now, they are one of the only resources available for people who need a little more than the few sessions offered by the nhs and so they are becoming increasingly overwhelmed.

If you are a counsellor with time who could help them, if you want to help with fundraising or if you think this is a service which might help you, then check out their page.

Like and share folks!

The Sanctuary - Shildon We provide low cost therapy for people in need mon-thur {mornings} alongside private Counselling sessions {afternoons}


Registered Charity Number 1175113

Lindsay Wilkinson, Consultant Clinical Psychologist updated their address.

Psychologists are very primed to deal with people's problems and sometimes we forget to focus on how to help people to build resilience such that they can deal with any future problems life throws at them.

Resilience has lots of definitions but a quick and useful one is the ability to bounce back from adversity and grow from the challenges.

We sometimes think of our resilience as something that we are born with and can't do much about but that's not really true - resilience is made up of a whole bunch of skills which allows us to cope when stresses hit us.

If you want to start thinking about how you might be able to cope more with life and develop your resilience skills, this might be a really useful online free course for you to check out and implement:

https://www.coursera.org/learn/positive-psychology-resilience/home/welcome

Coursera | Online Courses From Top Universities. Join for Free 1000+ courses from schools like Stanford and Yale - no application required. Build career skills in data science, computer science, business, and more.

Lindsay Wilkinson, Consultant Clinical Psychologist updated their phone number.

Beating the blues

It’s the beginning of winter and lots of people are starting to notice that their mood is slumping along with the amount of daylight. Although only a few people are formally diagnosed with SAD (seasonal affective disorder) many of us notice that we get more tired, more down and more anxious as the days shorten and the weather is colder. There are a few things that you can do to combat the blues and it is worth starting early, particularly if you are someone with an tendency towards depression:

1) Make sure you get as much natural light as possible. Even though the days are shorter, try to get out in the daylight when you can. If this isn’t possible, consider investing in a daylight lamp: https://www.toptenreviews.com/health/wellness/best-light-therapy-lamps/
2) Make sure you are eating well and getting all the vitamins and minerals you need. Many people starting comfort eating in winter and don’t get a balanced diet. Reduced nutrients, particularly a low level of vitamin D, can contribute towards depression. If you are concerned you may be low in vitamin D, ask your GP to check it out.
3) Give yourself a little TLC! Try to take care of yourself as best you can: get plenty of sleep, try to get some exercise, try to drink and eat properly and do what you need to keep your body as healthy as possible
4) Be kind to yourself. If you are getting a bit blue and finding things harder, yelling at yourself or criticising yourself for being lazy won’t help. Constant criticism lowers mood and makes it even harder to do things. Try instead encouraging yourself – try talking to yourself like you would as if you were trying to help someone else. Make sure you reward success, even if its only with taking a moment to admire what you’ve done, rather than criticising perceived failure.
5) Get help. If your mood is really plummeting, go have a chat with your GP about options for support. Depression is much more effectively treated in its early stages so don’t wait until you are really struggling before seeking help.

Best Sun Lamp 2018 - Light-Therapy Lamps for Seasonal Depression These light therapy lamps (aka sun lamps) seem most effective and convenient for treating SAD, mood disorders and sleep conditions.

BEATING THE WINTER BLUES...

It’s the beginning of winter and lots of people are starting to notice that their mood is slumping along with the amount of daylight. Although only a few people are formally diagnosed with SAD (seasonal affective disorder) many of us notice that we get more tired, more down and more anxious as the days shorten and the weather is colder. There are a few things that you can do to combat the blues and it is worth starting early, particularly if you are someone with an tendency towards depression:

1) Make sure you get as much natural light as possible. Even though the days are shorter, try to get out in the daylight when you can. If this isn’t possible, consider investing in a daylight lamp: https://www.toptenreviews.com/health/wellness/best-light-therapy-lamps/
2) Make sure you are eating well and getting all the vitamins and minerals you need. Many people starting comfort eating in winter and don’t get a balanced diet. Reduced nutrients, particularly a low level of vitamin D, can contribute towards depression. If you are concerned you may be low in vitamin D, ask your GP to check it out.
3) Give yourself a little TLC! Try to take care of yourself as best you can: get plenty of sleep, try to get some exercise, try to drink and eat properly and do what you need to keep your body as healthy as possible
4) Be kind to yourself. If you are getting a bit blue and finding things harder, yelling at yourself or criticising yourself for being lazy won’t help. Constant criticism lowers mood and makes it even harder to do things. Try instead encouraging yourself – try talking to yourself like you would as if you were trying to help someone else. Make sure you reward success, even if its only with taking a moment to admire what you’ve done, rather than criticising perceived failure.
5) Get help. If your mood is really plummeting, go have a chat with your GP about options for support. Depression is much more effectively treated in its early stages so don’t wait until you are really struggling before seeking help.

Best Sun Lamp 2018 - Light-Therapy Lamps for Seasonal Depression These light therapy lamps (aka sun lamps) seem most effective and convenient for treating SAD, mood disorders and sleep conditions.

We're coming into winter now which is often a really difficult time of year for many people. A mixture of less daylight (especially up here in the north), worse weather, a sense of the year ending, and Christmas coming up (which is often a difficult time for people), can make november and december difficult months for people.

This article on the NHS isn't a bad starting point for people to think about how to minimise drops in mood over the winter months, but I would be very interested to hear any tips or advice on how you manage at this time of year.

https://www.nhs.uk/Conditions/stress-anxiety-depression/Pages/dealing-with-winter-blues-sad.aspx

Beating the winter blues - Stress, anxiety and depression - NHS Choices Practical ways to avoid seasonal affective disorder, or SAD, include getting outside, talking therapies, avoiding stress, keeping warm, exercise, and healthy eating.

First week of seeing clients at the new address appears to have been a success! Everyone found the location and feedback on the new office arrangement was positive.

Just need some plants to make it more homely and I think I'm nicely settled!

All moved in to the new office, although still awaiting pictures to go up! Hopefully people will find this a friendly and warm place to visit

I'm very excited to announce that as of the 2nd October, I will be moving to my own consulting rooms. These are very handily situated just next to the A19 and will allow me to provide much more flexibility of sessions to both those in the Sunderland and Newcastle area.

I will be based within the very lovely Clervaux Exchange:

http://www.clervauxexchange.com

The address and directions to the site can be found via the link above.

I will be very sad to leave the lansdowne where they have provided huge amounts of support but am excited to have my own premises.

The Clervaux Exchange Conference and Business Centre - South Tyneside's Best Kept Secret. Prestige Office Space from only £350pm. Newcastle and South Tyneside's premier serviced offices and business centre based at The Clervaux Exchange. Office space from only £350pm all inclusive.

I have had this conversation a lot with clients too and I think the idea that people are "failing" if they aren't working at more than maximum is hugely damaging. By locating the problem in the individual, companies can get away with not only overwhelming people but also making them feel they are in the wrong. Individuals with a tendency to anxiety and depression are particularly vulnerable to taking responsibility for things which aren't their fault so they are even more vulnerable to being exploited in this way. I also hear people say that this is inevitable because of the recession but I think it's worth remembering that the top 1% of wealthy individuals are becoming wealthier. Perhaps it's time we challenged some of the received wisdom that people just aren't working hard enough, that we aren't productive enough as individuals and that we should be trying more.

What are your thoughts?

No, it's not you: why 'wellness' isn't the answer to overwork More and more workplaces are turning to the wellness industry to try and solve the problem of overwork.

I've spent today on the back of a motorbike - one of the best activities I can find for my mental health - it helps me to relax and I'm totally in the moment, no worries or stresses

What do you do to help your mental health and are you doing enough of it!!

LOOKING FOR DBT GROUP PARTICIPANTS

I have had so many people contact me regarding obtaining Dialectical Behaviour Therapy (DBT) via Skype that I am planning to trial run a DBT group online later this year.

• I will be looking for up to 6 enthusiastic people initially to pilot the
project and take part in the group.
• This group will be suitable for anyone over the age of 18 with
borderline personality disorder / emotionally unstable personality
disorder.
• You do not need a formal diagnosis of borderline personality
disorder or emotionally unstable personality disorder. If you
suspect that you may meet at least partial criteria and think this
group might help, get in touch and we can discuss whether it
would be suitable for you.
• We will have an individual session prior to the beginning of the
group (either online or in person, depending on your location)
during which I will explain how the group will work and think with
you about your local support network to help you whilst you are
completing the group.
• The group will run weekly online for about 3 hours and you will
need to carry out homework tasks between settings.
• To be a part of this project, you will need to have access to a
computer, a web camera, and download skype onto your
system. You will need to have basic computer literacy but I will
help you set yourself up if you aren’t very confident
• As part of the pilot, you will need to be willing to give feedback
on the group itself and fill in some online feedback on the course
and how it worked on a weekly basis
• There will be a fee for participation in the group (costs tba) but
this will be reduced from future costs to reflect the pilot nature of
the group and the additional feedback requirement for
participants.

I will be running the group later in this year, once I have identified enough participants. If the group is successful, then I will run the course again early to mid next year.

If you have any interest in becoming a participant or just want to find a little bit more about the group, please drop me a message or email me at [email protected]

Missing out on contentment – how much is Borderline Personality Disorder caused by problems with the oxytocin system?

Whenever I talk to people with borderline personality disorder (emotionally unstable personality disorder), they ask “why am I so different from other people?”. I explain that their underlying biology is a bit different – that they feel things more strongly than other people and take longer to come back to “normal” after becoming emotional. This then combines with a childhood where for some reason or other they didn’t learn many skills to deal with emotions to make an individual who has strong emotions and not many skills to deal with them. I find that people are often a bit sceptical about the idea of their biology being different and, although I have been able to cite a few scientific studies which support this difference, I’ve never been able to explain why there is a difference.

Recent research has focused a lot on a particular chemical system in the brain – the oxytocin system – as a possible cause for this difference. This system is a lot to do with attachment (the connecting between a child and its parents) and contentment. It’s not clear exactly what is going on with this system that might be causing problems for people, but there is increasing research that suggests something is going on (if you want a detailed review, feel free to read: Br J Clin Psychol. 2016 Sep;55(3):287-304 On the role of oxytocin in borderline personality disorder.).

If this is the case, this presents some exciting ideas for future treatment. Scientists are starting to experiment with ways of giving people oxytocin whilst offering psychological therapies to make them more effective as well as thinking about ways of generally increasing people’s levels of oxytocin in everyday life. It’s very early days as yet but is an exciting idea to me for two reasons:

1) It’s yet more proof to support the idea that people with BPD / EUPD are doing the best they can against a background of managing difficult emotions
2) It might increase empathy towards people with BPD / EUPD from both the general public and the medical profession
3) It might open up a whole new avenue of treatment which makes learning to manage emotions much easier for people and thus make the process much easier

I would be really interested to know what your views are on this subject…

Over the past few weeks, a number of people have asked me to recommend a self help book for working with low self esteem. One of the simplest to use and most effective books I've come across is this one by Melanie Fennell. If you have used it or have any recommendations of your own, please feel free to feedback or post alternative for others

Overcoming Low Self-Esteem Self-help Course - 3 parts (Overcoming S.) This benchmark work is available as a large format, practical manual, complete with multiple copies of worksheets, diaries and exercises suitable for a two-week course of treatment. The user will be able to write directly into the workbook, allowing him or her to trace progress over the course of...

HI, I received this post from a very lovely lady who is looking to increase the support provided for families, carers and friends of those with Borderline Personality Disorder or Emotionally Unstable Personality Disorder. If this is you or you know someone who this might apply to, have a read and get in touch:

Treading Eggshells?

I have an adult daughter suffering from
Borderline Personality Disorder traits.

My wish is to establish a support group to enable those
who have a loved one suffering from BPD to connect.
This can be via Skype, telephone, email, an on-line forum, face to face.

The aims being:

*To offer a safe space for discussion and peer support from
others with similar experiences.

* To give & receive support from people with experiences similar to ours
which can be extremely powerful.

*To help to reduce the isolation & hurt that so many of us experience.

If you may be interested to know more please contact:
Maddie Fellows
[email protected]

You don’t need to tread alone.

Hi, welcome to my new page!

If you have any comments or queries, please don't hesitate to get in touch or post them here. Please be aware that I can't deal with any personal issues on this page for confidentiality reasons so if you would like to chat about an issue in your life or that of someone you know, feel free to call, email or get in touch via my website.

I look forward to hearing from you!

Lindsay