Janhavi Lele - Clinical Child Psychologist

"😊 Happy World Smile Day! 😊

Today, let's spread the joy of smiles far and wide. Your smile is a gift that brightens not only your day but also those around you. So, share your beautiful smiles, and let's make the world a happier place, one grin at a time!

Keep smiling, and remember, your happiness is contagious! 😄

I have reached 500 followers! Thank you for your continued support. I could not have done it without each of you. 🙏🤗🎉

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Gratitude can help us see that not everything is terrible—not all the time, anyway. Practicing gratitude can keep our hearts open to the tenderness in our daily experiences. There are so many things to be grateful for. Take trees, for example. Trees freely provide fruit and shelter and even offer themselves as climbing gyms for the young, the old, and what-the-heck-are-you-thinking-get-down-from-there Nana! The wild kingdoms of plants and animals are exuberant, colorful, and extravagant. We are surrounded by abundance and yet mindlessly whirl into automatic pilot, losing sight of life’s nourishing wonders.

Connecting with each family member is important. And the biggest key to it is Communication. Often we are so scared to talk to our own family that we end up getting far from them. We end up being that person who hardly knows anything about our own dear people. It’s funny, how we avoid communication and yet always wish to be very close to our family members.

Communication is important because:
Communication is therapeutic :)
It is a connection that keeps our relations alive with ourselves and others.
Helps us to understand ourself and the other person better.
Helps to express our feelings thoughts and actions, irrespective of the difference of opinions amongst us in certain things.
It is a road to empathy, love, acceptance,
saving us from jumping to the conclusions.

These and so many other advantages of communicating :) that it’s really hard to ignore :)
So go and express yourselves :) talk openly with an intention of being a good listener at first, making the other person feel understood at first then making them understand ourselves.

Coming soon the 5 secrets of communication in the upcoming part do try using them with your people because the secret ingredients makes the whole difference :)

-Lots of love,
Janhavi Lele - Clinical Child Psychologist

Janhavi Lele - Clinical Child Psychologist now takes appointments on their Page.

The Present Bias...

No more excuses...

Your life is a joke.

How many times in a day could you laugh at the same joke again? Once? Twice? But after a point, you stop laughing. You know the twist. You know the punch. You are aware of the story. And there’s nothing new that could surprise you. Here is another question for you. How many times in a day could you get upset at the same situation again? If you don’t laugh at the same joke again, how is it that you complain about the same situation again? That you cry over...

Have you ever wondered what keeps you stuck in a state of passivity each day? You tend to know exactly what you need to, but you never have the energy, motivation, or willpower to do it. You know you need to learn how to stop being passive, but how do you do that?

You are not alone. Being passive can leave you stuck in a bit of a rut that is difficult to escape from. This article will help to shine some light on your predicament by not just exploring the methods of how to stop being passive, but also the finer and very important details about what causes passive behaviour, as well as an important distinction between positive and negative forms of being passive.

Check out this beautiful Article by Daniel Riley.

How to Stop Being Passive and Start Getting What You Want If you want to learn how to stop being passive, first you have to explore the roots of passivity and how to overcome the negative side of it.

Are You Dating the Same Person Over and Over Again?
If so, there is a reason why.

Have you noticed that you tend to attract or be attracted to a certain type of person, and regardless of your efforts to improve your relationships? Do you notice that you end up having the same feelings in relationships, and even friendships, when they end? Well, there is a reason why.

We learn about relationships from the moment we are born. The infant-caretaker bond can set the stage for future attachments with others. Does the infant feel loved, safe, and attended to? These good feelings become internalized as feeling secure. This learning continues as a toddler and through early childhood. If the child feels safe enough, he or she will explore the world and exercise autonomy. If afraid, he or she can return to the caretaker as the safe haven for a dose of love and safety. There are four main factors to healthy security: feeling loved, safe, free to explore, and have a sense of healthy boundaries.

This is the ideal situation, and it assumes the caretaker is also secure. Unfortunately, far too often, caretakers are adults who have their own unmet needs, are preoccupied, stressed, have poor boundaries, and at worse, are abusive. The child must navigate how to meet their own needs. They may learn to attend to their caretaker or disengage and withdraw. Children internalize their experience and believe that what happens to them must be about them. “I must not be good enough” or “I must be to blame for how others treat me.” This could lead to an insecure attachment.

Attachment can also change over time through adulthood in a good or poor way. A traumatic interpersonal event, such as sexual assault, can disrupt a secure attachment or reinforce an insecure attachment. So regardless of childhood, a traumatic event can make someone feel insecure. This may include feeling unsafe, unable to trust others, blaming oneself, and feeling alone. Some may opt to avoid relationships completely, while others seek relationships in the hope of healing.

Take a look at the patterns in your relationships. What traits are you attracted to? What traits do you strongly dislike? How do you feel at the end of your relationships? Do you notice any themes? Then, ask yourself, is this pattern similar to how I felt in childhood? Or is it similar to what I observed in my parent's relationship?

For example, Mary has a pattern of seeking relationships with confident, successful, and athletic men. However, they tend to turn out to be bossy, dominant, and selfish. She tries to please them and make them happy, but ends up feeling used and ignored. Mary has a pattern of emotional neglect in her relationships.

When she looks back at her childhood, she can see that she grew up with inattentive parents. Her parents were young when she was born and preoccupied with their careers. Mary spent a lot of time alone or with babysitters. She admired her parents for being successful but inside she felt lonely.

Understanding your patterns can be a helpful first step in changing the pattern. How you feel in your adult relationships may have origins from your childhood. Even with attempts to improve your relationships, if you are not aware of what is driving your unmet needs, you may be destined to repeat the same dynamics with other people.

So yes, it is true, you are dating the same person in a different body, repeating the same dynamics. On a positive note, this can be an opportunity for self-reflection. What is it that you are seeking in others, what is it that may need healing inside yourself? Are you craving love, safety, trust, forgiveness, or self-compassion?

The good news is that you can change these patterns and improve your relationships.

Action Step: Imagine your ideal relationship. What would that look like? How would you resolve disagreements? How would you be your best self in this relationship? This could be something to explore through journaling.

Wish you a very happy Makar Sankranti! Now go fly that kite! 😜

We are conducting a story telling workshop for children of ages 4 to 9. DM for queries

How to Use a Daily Inspirational Routine for Long-Lasting Success in 2021

The beginning of a new year is an opportunity to reinvent, renew and revamp our approach toward living our best life. It’s great for planning and refocusing our priorities. If you ended 2020 in the doldrums of despair and disappointment, please know you now have the ability to write a masterpiece this year.

The surest way to get there is by creating an inspirational routine that empowers and encourages you to create habits and plan your success for each day and week. It all starts with inspirational ideas.

Try these three things for developing a successful routine:

1) Dedicate 10 minutes of contemplation time, ideally, at the beginning of each day. This sets the tone for your day and gets you feeling inspired.

2) Use this time alone in solitude, in a quiet place. Focus your thoughts on positive, inspiring thoughts such as: romantic love, excitement for a new opportunity, music, friendship and envisioning yourself attaining success or fame. There’s tremendous power that comes through dreaming and seeing yourself standing “in the winner’s circle.”

3) Get these positive thoughts going and keep them going. Write down these thoughts that come to mind. Keep referring back to them throughout your work day or school day. Think of them when you’re out in the social world, during moments of difficulty or times of joy. Look at them again before you go to bed at night and reset your mind. Then rest and get read for the new day with excitement, anticipation and a clear mind for fresh, new thoughts.

Janhavi Lele - Clinical Child Psychologist updated their business hours.

What is a toxic relationship?

A toxic relationship contaminates your self-esteem, your happiness and the way you see yourself and the world. A toxic person will float through life with a trail of broken hearts, broken relationships and broken people behind them, but toxic relationships don’t necessarily end up that way because the person you fell for turned out to be a toxic one. Relationships can start healthy, but bad feelings, bad history, or long-term unmet needs can fester, polluting the relationship and changing the people in it. It can happen easily and quickly, and it can happen to the strongest people.

Make your mental health a priority...

Wish you all a very
Happy New Year!

10 Simple Ways You Can Stop Yourself From Overthinking
-BY LOLLY DASKAL, PRESIDENT AND CEO, LEAD FROM WITHIN

1. Awareness is the beginning of change.

Before you can begin to address or cope with your habit of overthinking, you need to learn to be aware of it when it's happening. Any time you find yourself doubting or feeling stressed or anxious, step back and look at the situation and how you're responding. In that moment of awareness is the seed of the change you want to make.

2. Don't think of what can go wrong, but what can go right.

In many cases, overthinking is caused by a single emotion: fear. When you focus on all the negative things that might happen, it's easy to become paralyzed. Next time you sense that you starting to spiral in that direction, stop. Visualize all the things that can go right and keep those thoughts present and up front.

3. Distract yourself into happiness.

Sometimes it's helpful to have a way to distract yourself with happy, positive, healthy alternatives. Things like mediation, dancing, exercise, learning an instrument, knitting, drawing, and painting can distance you from the issues enough to shut down the overanalysis.

4. Put things into perspective.

It's always easy to make things bigger and more negative than they need to be. The next time you catch yourself making a mountain out of a molehill, ask yourself how much it will matter in five years. Or, for that matter, next month. Just this simple question, changing up the time frame, can help shut down overthinking.

5. Stop waiting for perfection.

This is a big one. For all of us who are waiting for perfection, we can stop waiting right now. Being ambitious is great but aiming for perfection is unrealistic, impractical, and debilitating. The moment you start thinking "This needs to be perfect" is the moment you need to remind yourself, "Waiting for perfect is never as smart as making progress."

6. Change your view of fear.

Whether you're afraid because you've failed in the past, or you're fearful of trying or overgeneralizing some other failure, remember that just because things did not work out before does not mean that has to be the outcome every time. Remember, every opportunity is a new beginning, a place to start again.

7. Put a timer to work.

Give yourself a boundary. Set a timer for five minutes and give yourself that time to think, worry, and analyze. Once the timer goes off, spend 10 minutes with a pen and paper, writing down all the things that are worrying you, stressing you, or giving you anxiety. Let it rip. When the 10 minutes is up, throw the paper out and move on--preferably to something fun.

8. Realize you can't predict the future.

No one can predict the future; all we have is now. If you spend the present moment worrying about the future, you are robbing yourself of your time now. Spending time on the future is simply not productive. Spend that time instead on things that give you joy.

9. Accept your best.

The fear that grounds overthinking is often based in feeling that you aren't good enough--not smart enough or hardworking enough or dedicated enough. Once you've given an effort your best, accept it as such and know that, while success may depend in part on some things you can't control, you've done what you could do.

10. Be grateful.

You can't have a regretful thought and a grateful thought at the same time, so why not spend the time positively? Every morning and every evening, make a list of what you are grateful for. Get a gratitude buddy and exchange lists so you have a witness to the good things that are around you.

Overthinking is something that can happen to anyone. But if you have a great system for dealing with it you can at least ward off some of the negative, anxious, stressful thinking and turn it into something useful, productive, and effective.

Hello everyone.
Sharing a few pictures of my new counselling and therapy centre at Himmatlal park, Ambawadi, Ahmedabad.

Why you should go to Therapy ( part 2 - Benefits)

Therapy can be rewarding. It’s a safe, judgement-free space where you can share anything, with a trained professional who is there to help.

* You’ll learn more about yourself. Therapists listen to your story and help you make connections. They might offer guidance or recommendations if you feel lost, but they don’t tell you what to do. Therapy can empower you to take action on your own.

*Therapy can help you achieve your goals. If you aren’t sure of what your goals are, therapy can help you clarify them and set realistic steps to meet them.

*Therapy can help you have more fulfilling relationships. Whether you’re single or in a relationship, therapy can help you address difficulties with relating to others, such as insecurity in relationships or difficulty trusting your partners.

*You’re more likely to have better health. Research supports a link between mind and body wellness. Untreated mental health issues can impact physical wellness. On the other hand, people in good emotional health may be more able to deal with physical health issues that arise.

*Therapy can lead to improvement in all areas of life. If you feel like something is holding you back from living life as you envision it, therapy can help you address this. When you aren’t sure what’s keeping you from making change, therapy can help you discover the answer.