Liliana Doyon LMFT

Life can sometimes feel hard, especially when you’ve had a string of bad luck. Our society doesn’t prepare us for how to manage moments, How to ask for help, how to be okay when you’re not okay. How to work with your energy and feel into yourself.

I’ve been tapping into my spirituality while also holding the academia side. I believe both can work hand in hand. Talk therapy is also a plática something I witnessed in my home and in my Latinx culture. I saw how people would get together and talk about there issues and problems bringing connection. I see this daily in my work with folkx.

I’m bringing awareness on how cleansing with fire, water, herbs, flowers and different instruments can help clear out energy. It’s bringing me more to feeling into me. Along with my cacao ceremonies, which allows me to be in the moment with gratitude to Mother Earth, compassion and guidance from my ancestors and guides.

La maestra .buenaflor_curandera is an incredible human. I am thankful for her gifts.

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✨ceremonial cacao:

“Why do you always bring up the past?!” “Can we stop focusing on what happened and focus on the future?” “I don’t know what to do when they bring up past issues?”

These are common things I hear people say when a past event or memory comes in with heavy emotion. Trauma can’t tell time, and if our pain wasn’t witnessed, we weren’t met with compassion and presence then it will continue to come up.

Depending on how safe my couples feel, I will hold space to get curious with the emotion they are feeling. We address the past in the present so they can feel held and heard and witnessed in a loving and compassionate way. That their pain makes sense. We don’t focus on problem solving or moving on.

Sometimes people need to continue to revisit the pain to release it until they can hold onto the new experience.

We can also witness our own pain and allow it to work through our bodies for release while holding a loving and compassionate stance.

Healing is a process, and that process can move in many different ways. It’s important to be mindful of parts of us that don’t feel safe and what we do to protect. We have the power to cultivate our own safe space. ✨🙏🏽

In 2019, I got a divorce. My son was close to being 3. I knew before then that I wasn’t with the person I wanted to spend my life with.

I spent about a year grieving, working through the shame I had around divorce, what would people think? Was I being a bad parent for ending a good enough marriage?

I was afraid of doing parenting by myself. How would I manage? What would my child go through?

Despite ways of fooling myself and thinking I could make anything work. I came to the hard reality that things were never going to change. The hardest decision I had ever made.

I started having honest conversations with the people around me. We both had fallen into the traditional beliefs of marriage and family that we didn’t want!

My son started to get an ALIVE version of me! I didn’t realize until everything was said and done how much I had been holding back!

I started to experience the life I wanted despite also co-parenting. I met the most amazing single gals who helped me feel inspired and hopeful for the love I wanted!

After being in a relationship for 10 years I was super CLEAR on what I wanted. I thank for his books because they helped me love me again!

Here’s a series of pictures the first year! And working with who helped me with my fear of being seen! She was my stepping stone to seeing ME!✨

If you are interested in learning how to get clear on your healing and reconnecting to your inner love and wisdom stay tuned for our upcoming webinars, workshops and our content! will give you all the permission you need to be YOU!

As WOC we’ve been conditioned to take on more to avoid “dependence” which holds a negative message. So the drive for independence takes over.

It’s hard seeing something different because emotional dependence would mean a full surrender and if we haven’t felt safe, that can be hard.

It is possible and you can unlearn this. That’s why we’ve created this workshop to help you work through this narrative and come to yourself. ✨

Growing up as a first gen womxn brings a lot of pressure to perform and bring success through career. It has upsides however, it ultimately can lead you to burn out and mixed messages around intimate relationships.

This is why and I are launching this workshop for WOC.

We believe in cultivating community, helping to unpack internalized messages and healing as a collective will not only help you find a life partner but help you connect to your soul!✨❤️

Join us August 12th in NYC! Link in bio! ✨🤗

With every cacao ceremony I pull a card made by .buenaflor_curandera.
Erika has numerous books sharing the history of Mesoamérica. She helps connect curandesmo from Aztec and Mayan cultures. In her books she shares the healing modalities for the soul. And her story. It was my push to revisit the Yucatán this spring.

I had the honor of having a session with her in January. She’s full of wisdom and her energy is contagious. She helped me get realigned with my values and uplifted me. Thank you to .death.empath and for leading me to Erika.

I continue to explore my ancestral roots and hope to expand this knowledge in the Latine community.

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“Your son is what you got right!” My therapist at the time said this to me as I was getting swallowed by my shame. It hit in such a profound way. I had felt like I was getting it all wrong because I got a divorce. One thing that felt like I got “right” was parenting my son. That was my deep knowing.✨

Prior to having him I did some deep emotional intergenerational trauma work after getting my DOG! It brought up so many ways my mom did parenting. I knew I needed to break that cycle so I went right back to therapy. My dog taught me patience, love, and connection! We don’t always need other humans to model love. We can use animals, or plants or images to give us comfort, love and hope.

My son is my light! Seeing him have the freedom to play, show assertion, fully express emotions and say what he wants is incredibly healing. I am able to be present with him, engage with him and be available and give him what my parents couldn’t give me, time. I know he wasn’t raised with the same fear that had been passed down through both of my parents lineage.

I feel so incredibly proud that I have the honor to be his mom and break the intergenerational patterns. I can do this because before me I have two parents that broke major patterns from there family. I am grateful for the fight, and the sacrifices that were made before me.

We all have the potential to heal, heal ourselves so we can heal as a collective!

It took me many many years to learn how to be present. I learned mindfulness in my masters program in Hawaii. I was in survival mode most of the time, and the best advice I got from my therapist at the time was to “slow down” before I moved on to the next thing. So I would sit in my car, take a few deep breaths and then move on to the next job.

I am forever grateful she never tried to tell me to change anything. She met we where I was. She was compassionate and present.

We all need someone in our life that is going to be non judgmental, compassionate and responsive.

Connecting with ceremonial cacao from Ecuador helps me expand my presence and compassion. Channeling my ancestors, gratitude for this moment, this life is so important to me.

✨Gracias por lo que tengo
✨Gracias por lo que soy y
✨Gracias por lo que necesito

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These messages and many more show up in our dating process. The fact that you are putting yourself out there is an act of COURAGE! Courage is taking a risk without knowing the outcome!

🔸Focus on the thing you can control. Your energy, the people you surround yourself with and the internal voice.
🔸Get clear on who you are and what your values are.

🔸Stay tune for upcoming workshops! Sign up for my newsletter!✨

El cacao es amor, guía y transforma.

🔸When we start to look inward and commit to ourselves with love, kindness and patience we start to see the work unfold.

🔸 When we focus on external patterns it’s to gather more information about ourselves. What is it about me that’s bringing a emotionally unavailable person? What patterns am I recreating?

We can transform the negative messaging and embrace the new experiences! ✨

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Last week I heard about a dating online group in NYC. I was shocked by hearing that this group was a place to talk about all the dating nightmares, then leading to how horrible the dating scene was.

I understand why a group like this was made, things can happen, however, when we surround ourselves with negativity and gossip we are in a negative energy. Similar to when we constantly watch the news and expect not to be stressed.

Dating can be hard and stressful, when it gets there, here are things to consider:

🔸 Are my expectations aligned with my values.
• ex, I value respect, kindness and follow through.
🔸Do I have set deal breakers and hard boundaries- am I upholding them?
•ex, dealbreaker - abusive behavior - blocking/unmatching as a boundary.
🔸Do I have a community that supports and uplifts me.
•single friends that are in alignment, couple friends that you admire, hobbies, other activities that you are committed to.
🔸Are you aware of your emotional map: attachment responses, repeated relationship patterns, lessons learned?
🔸Patience, it will take time to find your life partner. You aren’t here to rush the process. You want to find someone that you admire and respect and they feel the same about you. ✨
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It’s such a relief and a surrender when you find your rhythm, your vibe, your Self, your love. I learned to start focusing on ME after my divorce. I learned by being around my friends what real love felt like. Guided by my 3 year old at the time to slow down and be present. To relax, to be silly, to dance, to have fun and be in wonder.

I’ve known I was the cycle breaker in my family since I was a kid. And it became very apparent when I moved to Hawaii at age 18. I’ve been on a journey since then. Having the honor to listen to peoples stories, how they’ve learned to work on their healing continues to inspire me.

Now in this present day, I have different healing tools to help me feel grounded, safe and curious.

Ceremonial Cacao found me a few years ago and I started taking in ceremony a few times a week. I connect to my ancestors and guides to show me the way. This is my form of meditation. A way to connect to me, gratitude, my ancestors and the privileged position I am in. I hope to inspire others by helping them break generational cycles, connect to their inner wisdom and instill hope and love. We all deserve inner peace. ✨✨

Whether you are dating, in a relationship or in transition. I am here.

Stay turned for my upcoming workshops!

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Lots of people come into relationships without asking questions. They are pulled by attraction and once they start doing life together, and the fun runs out. Then that’s when the issues start to arise.

If you are in a relationship and things your partner is saying are starting to feel like pressure, have the conversation. Sometimes we need to release energy in order to get clarity.

Maybe it’s boundaries you need to set around personal and relationship time or you need to go back to the drawing boards and really figure out if you see each other in the future.

Avoiding conflict helped you in your past when you didn’t have an awareness or an understanding on what was happening.

As an adult in an intimate partnership, it creates disconnection.

🔸learning your emotional map will help you stay connected to yourself and your partner.
🔸conflict doesn’t have to lead to an anxious place. It’s an opportunity for repair and connection.
🔸you and your partner are on the same team. You choose each other. ✨

To my love ❤️ you are my 🧍🏻‍♂️.
(I wrote this letter a few weeks before we found 👩🏾‍🤝‍👨🏻). Lots of work went into me before he came along. Hope this letter gives you hope if you are single. 

Dear universe,

I’m open to receiving and giving love. And I’m looking for an emotionally available man that is in close proximity that will love me and my son unconditionally that wants to protect and provide for us, he’s thoughtful caring, loving ambitious and curious about me. I want him to be affectionate likes handholding and loves to make out and cuddle as much as I do. A man that celebrates my success, my drive for knowledge. I need him to be able to step up with household repairs/planning or car maintenance. A man that values nature, the outdoors, cares about humanity, the world and systemic injustices. Has a positive outlook on life and wakes up in the morning feeling blessed he’s alive. I want him to absolutely adore this man, find him s*xy, attractive and someone I admire. I want to acknowledge him and pick him up emotionally and be his number one fan. I want him to be open s*xually and have a drive for s*x, that wants to pleasure me as much as we want to pleasure him. That’s passionate tells me I’m beautiful and appreciates my body. A man that loves food, culture, travel. It’s important he can be vulnerable and hold space for me to be vulnerable as well. The man that is playful, silly, loves to dance. And that he is into personal growth, mindset, lives a healthy lifestyle, fitness and self-care. A man that is open, loving, kind and that I adore. Who doesn’t abuse substances, is attractive, s*xy, handsome. A man that values friendships, social gatherings and going on adventures. A man that respects women and family/siblings. And then that is consistent in communication. A man that is resilient! A man that wants to be part of my family, get married and is open to having a second child with me. A man that has family energy! And is financially stable and financially secure! Thank you universe for expanding my worth daily. PS is generous with time, money and self. ❤️ Lilly

Nov 27, 2022
My parents arrived from California to support me while I underwent a total jaw joint replacement surgery last Nov. I had to tend to my plants and I invited them to come see my office. Unknown to me before we got to my office that this would be a transformative moment for all of us.

Now I see my success based on how regulated my nervous system is, my quality time with my son, my partner and friends. How well slept and how I use my privilege to help others.

My parents walked in and walked over to my office windows, I started to bring up the blinds. You can see huge billboards, and skyscrapers and the street from my office. That’s when it hit.

My parents worked all types of jobs when they came to America. Janitorial, farming and construction to name a few. They sacrifice so much so they can bring my siblings and I up in an okay environment. To see me, their daughter have a job where I talk to people in NYC was something they never imagined. I never imagined.

As tears rolled down our faces, I felt everything in that moment. The sacrifice, the better life, the American dream. It was worth it. But how could it be? How could they have so much hope!? What kind of person do you need to be to keep pushing through racial discrimination, xenophobia, and financial discrimination. It’s f*ed up!

This is the moment of truth. They would say it was worth it. How can we change that? BIPOC folkx are left to figure it out and tend to their own trauma that has been a result of the systemic injustices. There’s still a lot of work ahead. Community support is crucial to this healing. It’s our privilege and our voices that can help cultivate hope. Let’s keep talking about it. ✨🙏🏽

Part 2:
I grew up in a home with two parents keeping the family together for survival. Wanting a change. Both my maternal side and paternal side have history of multiple spouses and children. Because of generational wars in Mexico that caused displacement, they had to restart and have new families. So it makes sense to me that my parents tried everything they could to keep the family together. However, I felt how unhappy they were. I also recreated that dynamic in my previous marriage. After having my son, both his dad and I did everything to make it work. Multiple years with different couples therapists only to get clarity that we weren’t living for what WE wanted but for others. It was a break through I needed. A relief for both of us. Sometimes patterns get recreated inter generationally without questioning the motives and knowing the why. It’s taken me years to connect to myself. The privilege that I hold to challenge these patterns and to finally create peace and safety with my family is huge. My parents tried to do it, and I am thankful for that. Now I am aware, now I know I can create change. Even though my son has two homes and 4 parents, he is getting kindness, love, peace, safety and grace. He doesn’t carry the fear of losing family. It stopped with my family. And it’s possible for everyone. ✨🙏🏽

If you co-parent, I see you!

Part 1:
My son is 6 now. He has 2 homes. He moves easily between them. He knows he has some favorite toys at mommy’s and some at daddy’s. It’s been over 3 years. I leave toys around the house so I can feel his presence. There are moments where it feels okay and they’re days and holidays where I don’t get to spend time with him. Those days feel like a huge loss, a deep sadness and grief. I know these days will continue to come, I’m prepared to let them come. I miss him, and my partner helps me embrace that. My logical/rational side knows he’s safe, he’s loved in both homes, he has an incredible father. And my emotional side feels the loss and sadness about not having him around everyday. In my core, I know this was the right thing to do. My mission in life has been to challenge and change generational patterns….more on this in post 2.

We all get triggered. We all have all emotions. We don’t differ. What we are all different on is how we feel and process emotions. That part is learned based on early childhood experiences. Parts of us learn how to manage chaos putting us in a constant state of survival because we lack physical or emotional safety.

We can learn how to process hard big emotions while giving ourselves kindness and compassion. We all deserve to be safe. While respecting that bodies of culture of the global majority don’t have the same privilege as light skin or white folkx. We can create our own safety, in a bathroom, room and even a closet. Hiding in a closet was my safe place as a child.

Find yourself place, light a candle. You are safe. You are worthy of peace, kindness, and safety.

Last November, I joined my friend on part of his motorcycle trip. He was on his way to Argentina from Brooklyn!🏍

I met him in the city of Oaxaca, Mexico and traveled to Puerto Escondido, and up to Chiapas, ending in San Cristobal de Las Casas.

Fun fact: when I was 17, I wanted to get a motorcycle license and for good reasons my mom refused to sign off on it.

My two brothers and dad own motorcycles. I still have the urge to get one someday. To start, I decided to be a passenger! The feeling was so incredible traveling in between mountains, feeling the wind on my face and smelling nature! Being so present!

I’m actually pretty risk adverse and I normally don’t say “YES” to things like this. So it felt incredibly liberating when I was able to do something that I normally wouldn’t do.

The pandemic allowed me to get connected with myself in a deeper level and focus on having fun. I grew up “too quickly” and missed a lot of fun because I felt so much pressure to get a career.

Being a daughter of immigrant parents, the message that played in my childhood was to take advantage of opportunities and never give up.

We all have different life paths and I grew up with an advantage, however, generational trauma is unavoidable. I’ve had to learn how to regulate my nervous system and make meaning of my own life and experiences.

I also got to skydive over Puerto Escondido! I am so thankful for my friend and the safety he provided for me to have this experience!

Have a little fun! Start with connecting to something you wish you were able to do as a child.

I love swinging on the swings with my son! I love the belly laughs we have!

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Beautiful Valentines Day arrangement by ! Thank you Jenny! It’s beautiful!!!❤️✨

Hey! My name is Liliana Doyon!
I specialize in working with couples using a therapy model called Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) here in NYC. EFT is an adult attachment based model that helps couples identify negative cycles that cause constant disconnection.

I help identify the unconscious blocks in communication with each person and in the relationship and help unpack each partners emotional process. What do each of them do with emotion? It’s really an art!

This creates awareness of the dynamics and brings new tools to help them interrupt the vicious cycles. Which then can bring in positive cycles that create safety and new found aliveness with each other!

Few good books: Hold Me Tight, Love Sense by Sue Johnson. Getting the Love you Want by Harville Hendrix
Attached by Amir Levine

work

Happy New Year, 2022! We made it. With smiles, tears, fear of the unknown and uncertainty.

Take this time to reflect on 2021. What worked, what didn’t work and what you look forward to for today!

Remember to stay in the moment. Set small goals for today!

The pom poms signify “ALEGRIA” from Chiapas, Mexico!✨

#2022

Liliana Doyon LMFT updated their address.

Feliz Navidad! 🎄Merry Christmas! Hope you take some time for yourself today and share gratitude with the people closets to you! ✨
With my son, Gunnar, age 5 in Hawaii during the summer ☺️.

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Location: Ho’omaluhia Botanical Gardens, Kaneohe, Hawaii

✨BE HERE NOW!✨

I haven’t posted much since the Spring. I’ve been really focusing on myself, resting and traveling with my family. Like so many health professionals we didn’t get time to rest when the shutdown happened.

I went into full self care and work mode. I had to make sure everyone was okay before I could really take a vacation.
I went away in May, August and again the beginning of November.

Keeping up with social media is a labor of love and requires a lot of headspace. Instead of investing my time on here. I’ve been living life and healing.

I hope you also take the time to appreciate yourself and how you choose to spend your time. ✨

My favorite flower shop and the beautiful bouquet! Thank you Jenny