Live Oaks Psychology

And we were are again. The end of another year, an incredibly tough one for many at that. But 2020 also afforded us the opportunity to slow down and get back to basics and there were many simple joys I realised I want more of in my life!

New years eve is always a great time to reflect on what has been and what is yet to cohat we want to keep in our life and what we want to let go of.

For those who have been following Live Oaks for a while will know that each year I set an 'intention' for the year ahead. An intention allows me flexibility when things don't go to plan and gratitude for the small blessings throughout the year.

I want to invest more time in the small joys. To be fully present and feel the magic of such moments. Therefore, 2021's intention will be 'grounding'. A year of connecting to the earth, others and most importantly, myself (mind, body, spirit). A chance to breath deeply. A chance to walk barefoot on the beach. A chance to slow down life's pace. A chance to live life for me. I'm not entirely sure how I will achieve this but I'm working out a plan with my intention at the forefront.

So, what is your intention for 2021? I'd love to hear 💚

Love this!

Hope everyone has had a good week!

What do you have planned this weekend?

Plaster on a smile and noone will know.
The beast that lurks below.
Vacancy, dissociation.
The feeling of damnation.
Trying not to let it's teeth sink into me.
Compartmentalization is key.
A beast with many raggedy teeth.
This beast, this beast, is greif.

Depression has many disguises 🥸

Lifeline - 0800543354
Depression helpline - 0800 111 757
Su***de helpline - 0508 828 865
Text help- 1737

Dry, but funny 🤭

😆

Have a nice weekend everyone 💚

. My recent experience of losing my mum👩‍👧

Greif.
It's deep emptiness.
It's a black hole of despair and sadness.
It's waking up and having to relive that traumatic realisation for the first time over and over again. Every time you wake.
Or fearing going to sleep because you worry what your dreams may bring.
It's waking up after a dream about them and wanting to text or call them to tell them how much you miss them. Hoping that it was all just a nightmare.
It's warped time, a vortex.
It's wanting to be in two places at once. Anxiety.
It's watching the world go back to their normal when nothing about your world will ever be normal again.
It's hearing a song that used to make you happy only for it to make your stomach churn in memory of what you once had and what you've lost.
It's wondering how you will ever get your joy back.
It's ruminating on all the things you could have, should have, said or done while they were here.
It's wondering if things could have been different somehow. If you could have changed this outcome. If either of you deserved this final curtain call.
It's physical pain in your chest and heart. It's heavy. It's raw.
It's watching people shy away from asking how you are because they fear it may upset you.
It's making people uncomfortable when they do ask and your pain floods your cheeks.
It's feeling completely ripped off and robbed of the years you thought you had left.
It's counting, and marking, each milestone without them. The 'firsts' are the hardest.
It's equal parts happy and sad for the life you've shared together and the life you've lost.
It's losing the future you thought you had and having to accept the future which lies ahead.
It's wishing it was someone else, then feeling guilty because you wouldn't wish that on anyone else.
It's bad skin, loss of eyelashes, headaches, dizziness and hollow sunken eyes.
It's standing in the checkout line watching families interact and thinking how lucky they are. A bizarre juxtaposition of hyperlapse and slow motion.
It's brief happiness when you think you have seen your loved one's face. A momentarily high that quickly dissipates. You sinks to an incredible low once you realise that experience was impossible. Forever no more.
It's the deep lump in your throat throbbing as you try to contain the tears until you are alone.
It's slowly losing the ability to remember their voice or laugh. Fearing that time will soon completely steal that away from you also.
It's coming to terms with the ticking of an unwinding clock. Life.
It's a sign that their life mattered. That they were irreplaceable. Unique. Special.
It's living each moment to it's fullest because you know how short life is.
It's honoring the things you said you would do together but put off because you were busy.
It’s living these physical experiences for the both of you now.
It's holding on to the one good thing left in a terrible situation. You will having an angel waiting for you when your time comes.
It's the price we pay for love 💔
Greif.

An amazing resource from ❤

A great strategy for reducing anxiety 💥

Ah Sunday's, a perfect day for self care 😌

What is your wairua/soul/spirit asking for today?

Happy soggy Monday everyone!

Just a quick update regarding my practice. I am not currently taking on new clients until Jan 2021. I do have a waitlist for non urgent referrals although I appreciate it's a long time to wait.

Thanks again for your continued support of my small business! It always feels good when someone contacts me because of recommendation 🥰

☝️💯

300 likes and 311 followers 🥰

A massive thank you to each and every one you 👉

I started my business 5 years ago. A year later I said goodbye to the security of a full salary and hello to the
uncertainty of self-employment. A calculated risk but a risk nonetheless.

And here I sit having come full circle. Saying hello to part time salary through a new business venture.

Five years worth of learning, expanding, shredding and growing. With 300 of you there watching and cheering.

So from the bottom of my heart, thank YOU 💚

A day late 🤭

But I had to share this thanks to a thoughtful colleague 💚

Rainbows appear after a storm to remind us all that light begins and ends with all colors 🏳️‍🌈

2020 and we still have to protest this s**t 😡

Happy Friday guys.

It's been a wee while!

I came back from leave two weeks ago and have been slowly getting back to this new norm. Slow pace is foreign to me. I'm usually rushing from here to there juggling several schedules. For me, lockdown was a beauty and a beast. I worked through, stayed connected socially, spent lots of quality time with my family and in the garden as well as reconnected with exercise. The beast flared mid way through lockdown when the pressure of wearing multiple hats (under the same roof) became overwhelming.

I survived. We survived. And then we thrived.

As with most of NZ, I had time to reflect on what was important to me. I also noticed a spike in my critical self voice during times of stress and overwhelm. Hearing a beratment of thoughts about myself I would never dear to speak of another person. This my friends is the conundrum of a double standard. Where we expect perfection of ourselves while holding compassion for others flaws. Self compassion is a challenge. It's an art form that must be practiced to be mastered. It's something I've been working on for many years. I'm not there yet but I'm more aware of which self fulfilling prophecies I allow in my life (for the most part 😉).

Your thoughts, vividly imagined and repeated, charged with emotion, become your reality - Brian Tracy.

Hey guys, I'm on leave now for 2 weeks. Looking forward to some uninterrupted family time and sunshine 🌞

I'll be back on the 11th May ✔

Getting ready for my Skype sessions today. Ive lost the makeup and gained some whiskers.
Strange times indeed 😉😆

What else are you all looking forward to post isolation?
My top three are:

✔Live music
✔Dinner with friends
✔Visiting local parks and walks again

Happy Easter friends, family, followers, clients 🐰

For many, this weekend marks cancelled plans and celebrations which is a bit of a bummer! At least we know that everyone is in the same nest looking for
new ways to celebrate.

I hope you all enjoy life's simple pleasures. A walk, a sleep in, time in the sun, your favourite song, a picnic in the backyard, a scented candle, baking, chocolate, coffee, quality time with others in your bubble 🐣

How is it Tuesday already?

I've been so completely snowed under with work that I've havent put up this weeks challenge.

A great way to be present in the moment and reduce stress (and just generally increase happiness and wellbeing) is to engage in a hobby! To set aside time and priortise things that make your soul happy (for most this isnt very difficult right now).

I've loved seeing new themes on social media! Family, excerise, baking, cooking, inventive ways to celebrate special occasions, reading and generally just relaxing! I've loved having time to nurture my developing garden 🍊🍏🌱🍃 This shrub was a mothers day gift from my daughters last year. Back then it was a tiny bunch of sticks. Now's it's got pretty lilac flowers blossoming 🌸

What new, or old, hobbies have you been doing? Drop a photo below 👇

Ponder this ....

Post isolation, what's one thing you will do more of and one thing you will do less of?

Sit in the sun and take some time to practice deep breathing 🌬 Feel how connecting this practice is. Take your pulse before and after - you'll be amazed. Most phones have a health app which measures your heart rate. Use your smart watches. Otherwise, use the trusty finger to wrist technique 🧘‍♀️

https://www.headspace.com/meditation/breathing-exercises

These breathing exercises can help you reduce stress One of the most overlooked & most effective stress management tools is something within reach for free: our breath. Studies show breathing exercises improve cognitive function & reduce anxiety.

Walk barefoot on your grass 🦶

Why? Have a read 📑

https://www.washingtonpost.com/lifestyle/wellness/could-walking-barefoot-on-the-grass-improve-your-health-the-science-behind-grounding/2018/07/05/12de5d64-7be2-11e8-aeee-4d04c8ac6158_story.html

Perspective | Could walking barefoot on grass improve your health? Some research suggests it can. We know being outdoors is good for us. “Grounding” advocates say contact with the Earth’s surface provides specific benefits.

Mindfulness simply means to be fully present in the current moment without distraction. When your mind drifts from the task at hand, which it will do, simply notice the distraction and bring your attention back to the current moment 💥

First challenge, grab a picnic blanket and watch the sun set or rise. Today's sunrise was beautiful 🌅

Making NZ history 💥

Did you know the way we talk about an issue changes how we feel about the issue? Yes, our words are really that powerful. Just as exercise can change our bodies, so can mental activity (such as learning and using language) shape the physical structures of our brains.

When two neurons respond to a stimulus (such as a word), they begin to form chemical and physical pathways to each other, which are strengthened or weakened depending on how often they are co-activated. This process of “neurons that fire together, wire together” is the basis for all learning, and living. Essentially, what we focus on, and how we focus on it, becomes the way we experience it. This is why two people can experience the same event in different ways.

So without naivety, but backed by linguistic neuroscience and brain plasticity, I propose the next month has given all non essential workers a gift. A chance to slow down, ground ourselves, focus on one thing at a time, spend quality time with our families, get our hands dirty in the garden and paint bucket, connect with friends more regularly (all be it through technology) and practice living life a different way.

So, over the coming weeks I'll try to set challenges and activities for you to try. These challenges will be activites proven to increase positive mood, clarity of mind and general wellbeing. Bare with me though while I navigate working from home and home schooling 😅

It takes approximately 28 days to break and form a habit and we have at least 30 ahead! With precise word selection,

'How lucky are we' 🍀

https://giphy.com/embed/1xVc4s9oZrDhO9BOYt

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