Dr. Aprilia West

This just in: my publisher is offering a summer sale on my best-selling ACT card deck for only $10 at the link below in the comments. Use the promo code: SUMMER24.

This card deck was a labor of love. Packing the best practices I use to help clients increase their psychological flexibility into micro-practices was no small feat, and I couldn’t be happier with the way it turned out.

This deck is for you if you are struggling with stress, anxiety, burnout or just emotions in general. Or, if you’re a professional, this deck is a powerful tool for helping your clients increase psychological flexibility.

The deck includes 54 prompts and practices that will help you learn to:

*Anchor yourself in the power of the present moment
*Sit with uncomfortable or unwanted emotions
*Unhook from unhelpful thoughts and limiting stories
*Step back as an observer and find perspective
*Clarify what matters most in pivotal moments
*Show up as your best self in any situation

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There are still so many misconceptions about the importance of emotions circulating in our culture.

And a lot of people throw shade on them. They say you should suppress them, ignore them or avoid them to make good choices.

In reality (and based on research), your emotions can give you critical data about your needs, values and desires that help you make your best choices.

To learn to develop a more powerful relationship with emotions and choices get my book, What You Feel Is Not All There Is, available on Amazon.

Doing one of the things I love most: prepping to train therapists and coaches for a training with PESI this Friday on helping people increase psychological flexibility.

Psychological flexibility is, well, everything when it comes to wellbeing. It determines how you move through life— from how you relate to emotions, to choices that lead you towards or away what matters to you.

And the best part? Not only do people learn how to effectively help@their clients, I also get to help the helpers who invest so much of their energy and attention to reducing suffering in the world.

Despite a mild case of laryngitis, I had a great time nerding out with the brilliant and dynamic Nada Jones, founder and podcast host of Liberty Road, Nada Jones ().

We tackled a bunch of topics I love including: my fascination with human potential and psychology that grew out of my adoption; the through line in my multiple incarnations from political speech writer, press secretary and policy analyst, to musician and songwriter to mediator, coach, psychologist and consultant (hint: the answer is in the title); the reinvention of life for women in the middle third; my issues with current psychopathological approaches to wellbeing; how to motivate when you don’t feel motivated; and, how we shape our narratives to live into great stories.

To listen in, check the link in my bio or go to www.drapriliawest.com/about.

This post is inspired by conversations a few colleagues and I have been having about the impact of various “Instatherapists” and influencers serving up life advice on social media who aren’t trained or grounded in research about what helps people thrive.

I’m not throwing shade on anyone in particular, and I tell people I’m evidence-based, not evidence-bound (so if something works for you, great).

But content with no evidence-base can be problematic because it can spread misinformation that might not help, and might actually cause harm.

Please choose your content carefully and consider these 5 tips for becoming a better consumer of what you see on social media.

In any moment your emotions are sending you messages about: what to pay attention to; how to interpret what is happening; and, how you should react.

But your real power and potential is not being at the effect of these default emotional reactions. It’s found in how you show up in moments of choice.

Here’s what’s tricky: being choiceful like this takes intentional story-making— the kind of narratives that naturally move you towards what really matters. It doesn’t usually happen without effort. It means being really clear on what matters. It takes constant tending and inquiry.

And it’s . Intentional storying moves you beyond a smaller, reactive life to a designed life. You become Cause instead of an Effect.

Take a moment to reflect right now:
> What unhelpful stories have you been at the effect of?
> What story would you like to be living into?
> What beliefs or constraints would you have to let go of to live into this story?

For more on harnessing emotions and living a more intentional, flexible and creative life, check out my book, What You Feel Is Not All There Is, available on Amazon.

Or to get on the waitlist for coaching on living life by design, email [email protected].

Psychological flexibility is essential for performance and wellbeing. There is robust research showing that you can’t show up as your best self or live your best life without it.

Anyone who knows me knows how passionate I am about disseminating evidenced-based tools to people who want to tap their full potential.

While you may sometimes need the expertise and support of a highly skilled professional to heal from trauma or change unhelpful patterns, there’s actually a lot you can do on your own.

Thats’s that’s why I’m so excited about this new card deck, ACT FOR YOUR BEST LIFE. This deck includes 54 practices to help you increase your psychological flexibility and powerfully navigate stress, anxiety and burnout.

These cards can be used as a daily ritual, journaling prompts, or even in coaching or therapy by professionals.

Available now on Amazon.












acceptanceandcommitmentcoach

How people relate to emotions directly influences their level of psychological flexibility, resilience and emotional intelligence.

This is why low emotion efficacy negatively impacts client behavior, wellbeing and performance.

People with low levels of emotional efficacy tend to struggle with:

- Low levels of awareness and fluency around emotional experience

- Unhelpful emotional coping emotional styles of reactivity, from under control to over-control

-Disconnection from values, meaning or direction

- Rigidity around beliefs, biases and behavior

- Preoccupation with past and future

- Unhelpful behavior patterns that obstruct wellbeing and performance

Increasing emotion efficacy helps people navigate a wide range of emotions in a contextually sensitive, values consistent manner.

Since an estimated 75% of therapy clients struggle with low emotion efficacy, it’s essential that therapists know how to help clients harness their emotional experience while staying focused on what matters.

The Emotion Efficacy Therapy (EET) protocol offers an 8-session step-by-step protocol that can be used in individual or group settings. EET can also be integrated flexibly and functionally with other therapy approaches such as ACT, DBT & IFS.

This 4-part EET training series (11 CEs) is designed for clinicians and offers a brief, structured, process-based skills training adapting skills components from Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT), Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) and Exposure and Response Prevention Therapy (ERP) to help your clients learn to:

- Decode emotion triggers (defaults + values)

- Observe all parts of emotional “STUF”

- Surf emotion waves instead of reacting

- Clarify and act on values in moments of choice

- Regulate emotions when needed to act on what matters most

- Track the function of actions using the WTF? (What’s The Function?) inquiry

- Practice skills in an activated state so the learning ‘sticks’

WHEN: Fridays April 7, 14, 21 and 28, 2023 from 9 am-12 pm PT

WHERE: A Zoom link will be emailed the week before the training

WHO: This training will be conducted by Aprilia West, PsyD, MT, PCC and is designed for licensed mental health professionals and students (under supervision).

COST: $350 professionals/ $175 students

RESERVE YOUR SPACE NOW:
www.drapriliawest.com/training

If you’re aware of even a fraction of the 35,000 choices you make each day you can design the kind of games you want to play with your life.

This starts with realizing that the moves you make come from two places:

1. default emotional reactions
2. intentional choices

Unless you catch yourself when you’re purely reacting, it’s natural to move through life just doing whatever your defaults tell you.

But they won’t always move you towards what matters most.

That’s why it’s so important to know what matters, and to design a life where your moments of choice are intentional.

For example, everyday I choose to play my game of “Impossible Things” (nod to Alice In Wonderland), because that’s what empowers my clients, friends, family and even myself keep from getting stuck in a smaller, less meaningful version of life than is possible.

This inspires me to stay aware and alert in pivotal choice points— to stretch beyond what my default reactions tell me and to look for what matters most.

>> What kind of games do you want go play?

Join me a 3-hour webinar for a new training for therapists and coaches called “Flexible Selfing” on Friday March 10, 2023 from 9am-12 pm PT.

This 3-hour webinar will teach you to use parts work (think: brand archetypes, chair work and Internal Family Systems) using a contextual behavioral view of Self to enhance psychological flexibility.

Distinct from more rigid approaches, the Flexible Selfing approach honors each "part" of the Self (versus pathologizing certain parts, e.g., Saboteur, the Judge, etc).

This allows for a much deeper decoding and awareness of values, and paves the way for relating to our selves in more curious, intentional, compassionate and contextually-sensitive ways.

There are also a few scholarships available. If you’re interested, please DM me at [email protected].

For more details or to register: www.drapriliawest.com/training.

Let that sink in. Your emotions are designed to create simulations that motivate you to make choices to survive. (If you’re here reading this, you might notice they’re pretty good at it too).

But the human emotional network has not evolved enough to tell you how to thrive. Often you’ll get distracted by default reactions instead of designing what really matters to you in moments of choice.

Bad news: This means sometimes you’re making choices based on primitive unhelpful or “context-insensitive” data.

Good news: This also means there is a powerful evolutionarily upgrade available to you by increasing your emotional efficacy.

Through learning to become aware of all the simulations constantly taking place something else becomes possible… instead of acting on any urge that shows up, you can disrupt that default reaction just by bringing awareness to the emotional simulation in play.

> Next time you get triggered pause, and ask yourself “what simulation are my emotions creating right now?” Then ask whether the simulation is helpful for choosing what you really care about in that moment.

Being able to recognize your emotional simulations is the first step to unplugging from emotional default mode and becoming more intentional, flexible and creative with your 35,000 moments of choice each day.

It’s so easy to buy into your thoughts…

Your mind is a meaning-making machine and rarely will give you just the facts about a situation.

Instead your mind is like a constant narration track weaving stories out of momentary and sometimes biased or even unhelpful perspectives.

Believing everything you think is so limiting— it’s not how you tap the freedom to choose what matters most in a moment or choice.

A simple defusion practice can help you unhook from charged thoughts and shift your mindset to being curious about the narrative your mind is streaming.

>> Next time you have a charged thought or string of thoughts, try saying it as follows:

My mind is is making up the story that: _________ (insert narrative).

Notice if this reframe gives you more space and freedom with your thoughts to choose what matters most.

Most of us are more powerful than we realize because we are so plugged into emotional defaults.

Tapping what else is possible is a sure way to reduce psychological suffering and increase the wellbeing and ego relaxation you need to show up as the best version of yourself and to create your best life.

If you’re lonely, you’re not alone.

We may be more connected than ever, but lots of people have less IRL support than ever before.

Chronic loneliness presents a real threat to one of the most important ingredients for wellbeing: social connection. Without it, humans don’t thrive.

In fact, the UK and Japan have installed a new position to address the epidemic of social disconnection: a Minister of Loneliness.

And, research shows that people are marrying later, are more likely to move around and that living alone, having poor health, infrequent social interactions, and being unmarried predicts loneliness regardless of your age. Isolation during the pandemic has only amplified this for many people. One study suggests that being lonely is equal to smoking a pack of ci******es each day, and can shorten your life span by up to 15 years.

It makes sense because as social creatures, we all need the safety, security and surety of support that comes from a sense of connection and belonging— mentally and physically. Without it, it’s only natural to feel anxious and depressed, and maybe even to have thoughts of ending your life.

Here’s a quick inquiry you can use to see if your inner circle is well-peopled:

- do you feel a sense of belonging and support?
- do at least 1-2 people in your life who know how you’re doing day to day?
- do people in your life take the initiative to connect with you?
- If you get sick do you have a local emergency contact to call on?

If not, there’s no shame in this, and it doesn’t mean there’s anything wrong with you. But you need to make moves to grow your support system. You can find lots of tips online by googling “how to make friends in 2022”.

There are now lots of groups and apps that can help you connect to people with similar interests in your area.

Or, if you’re in crisis don’t suffer alone. You can call 988 in the U.S. and talk to someone right now.

As a positive psychologist and evidence-based coach, I not only study what are considered to be medical and mental health “disorders,” but also factors that lead to optimal wellbeing.

Over the years I have researched what helps people thrive, and among the contenders (after basic survival needs), the most frequent fliers are: Connection, Autonomy, Meaning, Self-Efficacy and Resilience.

What I’ve also learned is that too often people get diagnosed with “disorders” when either they 1) are just having temporary and normal response to painful life experiences; 2) lack skills to effectively navigate stress, challenge or pain; or, 3) lack a good balance of wellbeing factors necessary to thrive.

This 3rd reason people can end up unwell makes so much sense. Given how “disordered” our culture can be— especially in the U.S.— we are often not supported in nurturing our wellbeing. In fact, most people don’t know what wellbeing is because it’s not discussed and our culture is overly focused on productivity and short-term gratification. This makes it really easy to get out of balance and to end up stressed, anxious and/or depressed.

So, before you decide you’re unwell, or let anyone tell you that you have a disorder, it might be helpful to first check your levels of wellbeing:

> Do you have you most basic needs met? (Shelter, food, safety)

> Do you have a solid support system?

> Are you free to set your own goals and make plans for your life?

> Are you engaged in activities that you find meaningful?

> Are you able to reach the goals you set for yourself?

> Can you persevere in the face of adversity and challenge?

We all want to feel as good as possible. But unfortunately our emotional default programming is better at helping us survive than maximizing happiness.

One of the biggest errors we humans make is judging uncomfortable, or so-called “negative”emotions as being bad or wrong.

In fact, your default programming is constantly urging you away from any threat, uncertainty, incoherence or discomfort even though uncomfortable emotional messages are sometimes the signals we most need to hear…

Whether it’s feeling hopeless that leads to ending a relationship that’s not working, feeling exhausted that leads to making adjustments at work so you don’t burn out, feeling guilt that leads to apologizing to a friend for not having their back, or feeling so frustrated with your level of fitness that leads to finally get off the couch and head to the gym.

>> Instead of judging your negative emotions, drop in and get curious about them. What are they telling you? They might just be noise, that you don’t need to buy into. Or, they just might hold the key to a more meaningful vital life.

Emotions are literally “energy in motion.” This means when you try to put a lid on them (push them down, suppress them, try to control them or avoid them), they will just take another form, and sometimes they will even increase in intensity.

Trying to suppress what you’re feeling can lead to unnecessary suffering. Your emotions are always sending you messages, and sometimes these messages are essential for surviving and thriving. You can’t decode these messages if you’re not willing to feel your feelings.

Even more, trying to avoid unwanted emotions can leave you feeling dull and disconnected from yourself. And when avoidance becomes a pattern it can amplify your discomfort. And over time you can end up feeling helpless and hopeless AKA depressed.

Being powerful with your emotions starts with 1) being able to put words on your feelings and 2) decoding whether the emotion is noise (something created through your outdated default wiring), or signal (a message about what really matters).

I received this message last week from someone who has been struggling with self-destructive behaviors that keep them from living into what’s possible, and my heart grew about 3 sizes.

It can sound obvious that sometimes you have to make values-based moves when you don’t feel like it. But because our emotional reasoning bias is so powerful, it’s actually natural and easy to fall into the trap of waiting to feel like doing the things that matter to you.

And when you’re scared, uncertain, confused or uncomfortable, your willingness to do hard things that matter can become even more elusive.

Of all the emotional efficacy skills, the ability to tap willingness is the apex of power.

When you unplug from emotional default mode you can create a life worth living—a life that is meaningful and a life that is vibrant. Even when things are uncertain, challenging, scary or painful.

intelligence

As the pace of technology and life steadily increase so does the competition for your attention.

Every day people, groups, companies, events, ads and algorithms are coming @ you. They will tell you where to look, who to believe, how to invest and what to care about.

For most people I know, life has never been louder. That means if you wanna hear what really matters, you need to get quieter.

It requires shifting your attention and cutting through the noise.

You might be surprised what you learn if you really listen in. When I first meet with clients they usually tell me they know what matters to them. But with deeper inquiry, they often find that their innermost interests, desires and yearnings are different or more nuanced than they realized.

Or, they discover they have never had the courage to acknowledge or embrace their most authentic selves.

Hearing the signals about what really matters to you is critical for anyone who wants to live a powerful authentic life.

The choice is yours– to design your life or to live in default mode.

Learn more about living intentionally in my book, WHAT YOU FEEL IS NOT ALL THERE IS, available on Amazon and across the interwebs.

Tune in tomorrow at 3 pm on Twitter Spaces where I’ll be joining a conversation about Creatives and emotional wellness for sponsored by and

https://lnkd.in/gn7KDNJc

Hello everyone, you may have noticed I’m pretty quiet here these days. For more content follow me on IG .

Humans are more likely to come up with reasons to justify what they already believe than to reconsider. We say, “this is my story and I’m sticking to it!”

Why? Because humans rely on what we believe to survive and thrive. Once we think we are right about something, we double down on it—whether we are being right about the obvious danger of stepping in front of a fast moving car, or a political position about the role of government.

That’s why changing your mind can feel . This essentially makes being able to update your beliefs a superpower.

The problem is that being attached to being “right” about what we already think narrows our ability to explore, grow and entertain other perspectives— even when they can be helpful to us. There’s a huge opportunity cost to being “ride or die” with every belief in every situation.

For those of you brave enough to stretch for what else is possible, keep reading:

- Updating your beliefs requires seeing them as just one possible story. It means being able to tolerate the feeling that you may have been hasty or wrong about something, or to realize that they don’t work well in every situation.

- Updating your beliefs means coming face to face with the limitations of your own judgment. It means entertaining the idea that you may not feel as safe, certain, coherent and comfortable as you’d like.

- Updating your beliefs also means that you are able to evolve alongside a volatile, uncertain, complex and ambiguous world— to be the best version of yourself possible.

>> What’s one belief you’re willing to challenge? Get curious with someone who believes the opposite and see what happens when you open up and let yourself be truly curious about their perspective. Try to really challenge your belief differently and see what opens up for you— a new belief or a different perspective on your own.

If you’re a professional coach, therapist or behavior analyst, make this your summer to learn to help your clients respond powerfully to stress, challenges & pain and expand what matters most in moments of choice.

There are still a few spaces left!

INTRO TO EMOTION EFFICACY THERAPY TRAINING (11 CES*)

A 4-part biweekly training series starting Thursday June 30, 2022 from 5-8 pm PT

Many professionals struggle to help clients who have unhelpful avoidant patterns of behavior that are deeply ingrained. They lack the skills to notice the function of behavior, disrupt unhelpful behavior patterns or conduct experiential learning in session.

The Emotion Efficacy Therapy (EET) protocol will help you and your clients learn to:

• Decode emotion triggers (defaults vs. values)

• Observe all parts of emotional STUF (sensations, thoughts, urges & feelings)

• Surf emotion waves instead of reacting in moments of choice

• Clarify and act on values in moments of choice

• Regulate emotions when needed to act on what matters most

• Track the use of actions using the WTF? (What’s the Function) inquiry

• Practice skills in an activated state so the learning 'sticks'

Research shows that after 8 sessions of EET, clients report being less emotionally avoidant, more tolerant of distress, more aligned with their values and more capable of regulating their emotions.

Space is limited. For more details or to sign up today:

Emotional Efficacy Training | Continuing Education | Managing Mental Health And Stress — DR APRILIA WEST Emotion Efficacy Therapy (EET) is a brief process-based skills training that helps increase emotional intelligence, psychological flexibility and resilience. Integrating components of Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT, Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) and exposure therapy, people learn to re