Stuart A. Kaplowitz, Marriage and Family Therapist (MFT)

Now within our counseling suite.

“No relationship survives long-term without forgiveness.”

What's your favorite wintertime date?

Whether you're cozying up together with your favorite warm beverage or expressing your appreciation for each other long-distance, we hope these date ideas inspire you to grow closer with your loved one.

We want to thank you for being part of The Gottman Institute community this holiday season. Use code THANKYOU for up to 20% off sitewide, now until December 31st: https://bit.ly/3H2O1Lc

“People tend to criticize their spouse most loudly in the area where they themselves have the deepest emotional need.”
-- Gary Chapman

Apologize often. It is a sign of strength.

Our culture often sends us the message that it is weak to admit when you are wrong. Men especially receive this message in popular media. But in reality, being willing to apologize is a sign of humility and strength.

"Real men and women recognize that they are not perfect and are willing to admit it."
-- Gary Chapman

Codependency and Boundaries: You can't set a boundary if you were programmed to believe that you have no innate value or worth.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
You can't set a boundary if your brain thinks the goal is to ATTACH and never dare rock the boat!⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
You can't set a boundary if you're more afraid of people disliking you than you are with how much YOU like YOU!⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
You can't set a boundary if you've been brainwashed to believe looking after your needs is a sign of selfishness.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
Yes, codependent people have issues with placing boundaries. Quite frankly, it could be no other way.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
Healing is a decision to stay on. the recovery path until you've managed to raise enough awareness around the root causes of why you are stuck recycling family abuse and trauma. From there, it is a daily climb up the mountain of consciousness.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
It's possible to heal from codependency and in fact, doing so is the process of your spiritual awakening.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
Stay safe out there.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
Boundaries are acts of self love.

"Love requires effort. Love often requires learning a language you have never spoken."

"Proximity and togetherness are the not the same thing. Togetherness has to do with focused attention."

"The life of service to others has always been recognized as a life worthy of emulation."

Even if Acts of Service is not our love language, we can all find joy in serving our loved ones in small ways every day.

People usually interpret our message based on our tone of voice, not the words we use.

You've heard that more than 90% of communication is nonverbal. Well, besides gestures and facial expressions, our tone of voice is part of that nonverbal communication. When we say something to our partner or other loved ones, our tone of voice can completely change the meaning of the words we use.

This is especially important to understand if someone's love language is Words of Affirmation, because your words will be either be undercut or reinforced by the tone you use. Your tone can also be affirming, which can help soften your words in times when you might need to correct your child or have a hard conversation with your spouse.

You deserve better than "usually nice" or "sometimes great".

💯 Happens over and over again.to.each.one.of.us! Please take care and be kind to your mind ❤️

Which one of these do you most need to remember? 💙