Unshaken

I am gods, beloved, he has made me pure and holy.

Why is this so hard for us to really believe?

That we are made in the image and likeness of God, and that we are innately loved, pure, and holy.

For me, I felt I was believing this less and less with the distraction of technology/social media.

This distraction robbed me of my inner peace, and left me with little to no patience for my motherhood.

With that, I have decided to step away from this platform and I’m not sure if I will be returning to this space. Maybe in the future if I am able to create better boundaries with it. And I may check in from time to time!

I am SO grateful for the community that this has brought me and the amazing women that I have had the honor of working with to help prepare them and their spouses for the birth of their baby.

I would still love to work with you if you are looking for a Catholic-based one on one or self-paced birth prep program!

Please email me at [email protected] or schedule a free consultation via the link to candley in my bio!

If I leave you with anything for now mamas, I hope it’s that you are able to believe within the core of your being that you are gods beloved, and he has made you pure and holy! I hope you are able to look upon yourself with the same love and grace that we have for our children, and God has for us!

Immediately after getting in the birth pool the entire room shifted. I was peaceful and calm for what felt like forever. It felt so soothing to be in the warm water supported by the pool. It was exactly what I needed. The only relief I felt so far.

Two more big contractions and I felt my body trying to push. “I can’t push yet though!” Not leaning in and trusting. The midwife said “Just do whatever feels right for your body.”

*I think this was the hardest part of a homebirth for me. To completely surrender and trust my body. To trust the process uninterrupted and undisturbed the entire time.

I felt myself wanting direction, coaching, someone to tell me what to do.

I’m so thankful that my midwife allowed me to turn inward and trust. It’s such an incredible feeling to just flow with the natural process of labor.

As confusing and scary as it is, it’s also so incredibly powerful to allow the process to unfold.

It was a weird in-between where I didn’t feel a ton of urge to push but my body was doing it anyway.

I flipped over onto my knees and began pushing with my body.

My husband, who also felt this was going to go on much longer, finally felt the reality that we were so close. “Well, it’s our anniversary.” He said
I said, “I know, we never did get that dinner did we?” 🤣

Before I knew it baby was crowning. Such a different experience than with my first because it happened quicker, thus the sensation was way more intense than with my first.

Sure enough next contraction the head, then the next, baby came into this world at 8:50PM 4 hours after labor started.

“It’s a girl” said my husband!

SHE was so shocked like, “mommy that was fast” but so calm at the same time.

Blinking her eyes open and looking around then settled to sleep on mommy. I don’t think she made a peep. There’s something so peaceful about babies born in water.

We did it baby girl. That was too fast, the suns not even down and now you share your birthday with mom and dad’s anniversary.

Part 3 of 4

We move downstairs to set up the pool and between contractions I’m frantically giving my husband instructions, “My birth affirmations! Don’t forget the tarp under the pool! The blessed candle! Text our neighbor and the prayer text for their prayers!”

My husband quickly gets pool blown up while also trying to follow all my requests, and provide support as each. It really was beautiful chaos and I can laugh looking back on it now but in the moment, I was super freaked out by all the rushing.

Midwife arrives at 7:40 as I’m working through a contraction.

I ask her, “What in the world is going on? This can’t be happening this fast.”

She says “Everything’s ok, we’re having a baby soon!”

**I thought how does she know?! I was so used to having multiple cervical checks in the hospital and I received none during my home birth. It is amazing how intuned midwives are with the mother, her movement, her voice, her body.

*continued in comments

Made it home and made the first call to the midwife at 6. Even though I kept telling my husband, “She’s gonna think I’m crazy that I’m calling an hour after my labor started.”

I told her, “This is so weird labor just started and I’m already having intense contractions super close”…trying to stay calm and collected still in total denial this was even the real deal.

She said, “Stop timing them for a bit and see how things pan out. Sometimes when your toddler goes to bed things calm down-but if it gets a lot more intense give me a call!”

So I decide to get in the tub at home. My husband sits with me as we listen to the luminous mysteries on the made for this app.(one of the only birth tools I had time to utilize!)

Contractions still intense, and my husband picked up on this because as soon as I got out of the tub he said, “I think I better set up the pool.” I said, “Are you sure?! I feel like this is crazy. Why is it already so intense?”

I was panicking. Saying, “Lord if this isn’t moving quickly, I don’t think I can do this. How is this so painful already?”

My husband, seeing my panic, blessed me with holy oil, asked the Holy Spirit to come and be with me and said, “It’s ok, try to focus on each contraction at a time. Lord give Sammy peace about the way this is going”
*continued in comments

4 beautiful years with my husband and best friend.

May we always have fun and continue to put God at the center of our marriage 🙏🏼

39+2 today 🤗

👶🏻With my first born today was the day I had her! I got a membrane sweep at my morning apt. And was in labor by 7pm

This pregnancy I keep asking myself, do I trust this baby to come when they are ready?

Truth is, I don’t. I feel like the closer I get to 40 weeks for some reason my mind is telling me, “this is taking too long”

What’s crazy is I know in my heart that babies come when they’re ready. In Gods perfect timing. It’s society that tells us pregnancy has an expiration. a timeline. And everyone’s is the same.

🙏🏼It’s such a delicate balance of trying to prepare and be “ready” for the work it takes to bring precious life in to this world and the surrender, the letting go of any expectations on when that will happen.

Matching 4th of July dresses with my baby girl 🇺🇸❤️

Lets chat about those pesky pregnancy leg cramps! 😭

I’ve got them with both of my pregnancies and let me tell you they sure know how to jolt you out of bed from a dead sleep

Here are three 4 things that may help!

→Magnesium lotion, I love
→ Leg massage before bed
→Magnesium supplement
→ Epsom salt + lavender EO bath before bed

Some motherhood thoughts for the day

💜 It’s easy to find frustration in your role as a mother instead of peace and contentment.

💜 Oftentimes today motherhood is looked at as a function, not as a privilege.

💜 I know I struggle with finding peace in the mundane. The day to day. The chaos.

💜While motherhood is the hardest job and isn’t glorified in our society it is a privilege.

💜We put so much pressure on ourselves to be something other than a Mother. If you are called to that, great, but if not, your role as a mother is more than enough. You are more than enough.

4 ways I have been physically preparing my body for labor in the 3rd trimester:

⬆️Hydration - I’m doing 120(give or take) oz of water and an electrolyte drink a day! (Either or a homemade adrenal cocktail)
🥩High protein - I’m aiming for at least 80 a day
🦵🏼Deep Squats - this can help prepare pelvic floor for delivery - pro tip - make sure you’re by your bed or a railing to help yourself get back up 😂
🚶🏽‍♀️Walking! - my goal is 3 miles a day but right now I’m doing 1. We’re not about perfection over here 🤷🏻‍♀️

Although you should be focusing on this through pregnancy it’s SO important during the tired trimester as we prepare our body for labor!

Calling all Spouses! 📢

You play a critical role in birth! Understanding that will help prepare you to best support mama and baby!

🙌🏼Oh and Mamas, make sure you remind your husband of this! Help them understand the importance of their support and education!

Holiday weekend fun with our little fam 💙

So blessed to be able to live free because of all who served 🇺🇸 thank you!

Breath is the number one tool to use in labor! 🫁

3 breaths to use in labor:

1️⃣Deep relaxation breath/belly breathing - place your hand on your belly, take a deep inhale through your nose expanding your ribs then exhale out through your mouth. The goal here is to inhale deeply and exhale completely at a pace that is comfortable for you

2️⃣Box breathing - You can do another count other than 4 here but the goal is to have something else to focus your mind on! Counting your breath in this way can be so helpful with distraction as well as relaxation

3️⃣Panting - inhale through the nose then as you exhale blow through pursed lips in short amounts - similar to what you see in the movies.
*I only suggest this type of breathing when babies head is crowning as this can help avoid pushing and allow tissues to naturally expand

❔What breath worked best for you during labor? For me, it was continuing to go back to a deep relaxation breath over and over again.

Forever grateful for the sweet moments with my first born baby girl before the new baby comes!

She is going to make the best big sis! She brings her baby with her everywhere now, rocks her and kisses her and says, “nuggle baby”

Thank you to the best for capturing these for us! We are so lucky to have you!

This month I will focus on all things motherhood! Still lots of birth content but with May being the month of Mary, I am excited to focus on our Blessed Mother and all she can teach us about motherhood, love, and humility.

💐My daughter loves rosaries. She learned how to say it by the time she was 15 months old. At adoration she goes around to all the altars and places the rosaries around her neck then walks around so proud, wearing her beautiful rosaries.

🙏🏼 Recently we were at the adoration chapel, the man behind us sneezed and my daughter says “BLESS YOU!” We both smiled so big.

💙So often in motherhood we expect perfection from ourselves and our children, but they can teach us so much about the simplicity and beauty of life.

Thank you Mother Mary for guiding us and being our strength through motherhood.

Swipe to see what’s in my birth kit I ordered from

🤰🏻This is not an all-encompassing list of what we will need, but this is what I ordered from the Birth supply company!

🩺 The Midwife of course brings more supplies and I will share some other items I am gathering for the birth and postpartum in another post soon!

🙏🏼I loved working with this company! They even sent a birth prayer in my shipment! My midwife had a suggested box already pre-selected on their website so the process was super easy!

Happy Easter! ✝️

The third bonus module for the course Birthing with the Saints is, “How to Plan a Postpartum Baby-Moon and LOVE Your 4th Trimester!” with birth and postpartum doula Karen Kostohris! 🙌🏼

🤱🏻Karen offered my clients access to her COMPLETE course and workbook on preparing for postpartum. This content will help you feel confident and prepared for the fourth trimester.

🤱🏻You'll be able to relax and feel confident about your new baby's arrival knowing you understand how to take care of YOU and baby.

🤱🏻Be sure to sign up for the birth course via the link in bio to receive access to the course(first session one week from today!)as well as all 3 bonus modules!

Meet Ginny! She is providing us with a nutrition module for Birthing with the Saints!

🧡Ginny is the owner of The Women’s Health RN. She is passionate about helping women discover how to properly nourish their bodies to achieve radiant and vibrant health through all stages of life, from preconception through pregnancy all the way to postpartum!

🧡She is also a wife to a husband who is studying to become a physical therapist and momma to her baby girl, Avery!

You’ll learn:

* How your nutrition and health impacts the health of your baby
* The importance of balancing your blood sugar during pregnancy
* How to eat to balance your blood sugar
* How stress, light, and exercise are helpful tools in modulating blood sugar balance
* Essential nutrients and foods to focus on during pregnancy
* How to choose a good quality prenatal / How to create a DIY prenatal

🧡Thank you Ginny for being a part of the program and sharing your incredible knowledge with us!

FIRST class for the course is ONE week from Thursday, on 4/13! Sign up for the course via the link in bio!

Our first bonus module for the course Birthing with the Saints is, “Birth Prep with Physical therapist Dr. Kayla Borchers!”

🙌🏼Dr. Borchers has her Doctorate in physical therapy and undergrad degree in exercise science.

🙌🏼I had the chance to work 1:1 with her for PT to help heal diastasis recti and prepare my body for birth!

🙌🏼She is extremely knowledgeable, thorough, and amazing to work with! This is why I am SO excited to be able to offer you her perspective on birth prep when you sign up for the course!

A little about what you’ll learn:

-Anatomy of the pelvic floor
-Exercises to prepare for labor
-Squatting, perineal massage and hip mobility
-What type of breath to focus on to prepare for labor
-Best positions for pushing, and modifications if you do end up on your back!

🤰🏻Be sure to sign up for the birth course via the link in bio, you won’t want to miss this amazing eduction!

Stop taking the generic hospital birth prep course if you want a natural or low intervention hospital birth! Unfortunately it won’t cover all that’s needed to know!

Do you want to honor your body and God’s design for birth?

This program is for you!

Live classes(will be recorded and sent to you after if you can’t attend):
April 13, 14, 27, and May 4th
5:30-6:30 EST

What you will receive:
🤰🏻4 live webinars (and 3 bonus pre-recorded modules) where we dive into birth education, Q &A, and discussion

🤰🏻A BONUS 1 hour 1:1 session to finalize your birth plan and address any final questions($75 value)

🤰🏻Printable birth plan for you to fill out and bring to the hospital

🤰🏻Workbook to guide you through the program with space for reflection

🤰🏻Hospital bag checklist

🤰🏻Questions to ask your provider to ensure support of your plan

Let’s talk about induction

1️⃣SURE there may not be a ton of evidence supporting the natural forms of induction but why not try them first?!

2️⃣ALWAYS advocate for mechanical forms before chemical - less invasive and usually less implications or need for follow up interventions

3️⃣Understand the true medical need for this. Big baby, or too pregnant don’t count.

4️⃣Understand you and baby will most likely be monitored more in any type of induction

INTRODUCING: Birthing with the Saints - coming April 2023

I have poured my heart into this program and felt SO led by God the entire way!

I am honored to offer this much needed education to women. We will reduce fear, place Christ and the Saints at the center of this amazing experience, and equip you with the tools needed for a successful natural hospital birth!

Look out for more information or book a consult via the link in bio!

There are SO many benefits to natural labor.

Of course all the ones listed above but above all else, if you avoid medications in the first place, it is LESS likely you will need further intervention.

So often women are unaware of implications of interventions.

During our birth prep I ensure you understand what happens as a result of pitocin, epidural, cervical checks, ect. This allows you to show up to the hospital equipped with the knowledge needed to make informed decisions.

Of course we learn about the natural process of labor, but even more importantly we will learn about how to fight for what we want and don’t want!mom

You can not just show up to the hospital for your birth with no prior education and expect positive outcomes.

1️⃣ Your provider and nurse may be in complete support of your plan, or not! This is where you and your spouse must advocate for your plan.

—A great example of this from my birth is the first thing the nurse asks me when I arrive at the hospital is, “do you want an epidural?” I said, “no thank you it’s not a part of my birth plan.” She replies, “aren’t you tired!?”

This was discouraging for me. Of course I was tired, but I was dilated to a 7, in active labor, and motivated to meet baby girl so soon! They ended up assigning a different nurse and student to my care(she had never seen a natural birth). They were so encouraging and supportive of my plan!

2️⃣One study states it takes 17 years for medical research to translate into practice…let alone make policy changes.

We wonder why women are still denied food and water, or forced to labor on their back

3️⃣Medical professionals are trained to manage birth AND they do not see many natural physiological births.

We know that interventions can lead to more interventions.

We know they’ll be offered.

So understand the implications of each of them and have a plan!

Your spouse is the leader of your family. Why wouldn’t you involve him in your birth?

Birth can be a time of connection and closeness with your spouse. I remember specifically during my birth, Adam being the calm presence I needed. Without saying much, he was able to be calm, available, and encouraging in the right way. NOW of course we had our moments(like when he ordered food and ate it then came in the room and the small could have made me throw up right then and there...he apologized 🤣)

Most often I hear Mama's say they did not receive the support they needed. Most of the time this is simply because your spouse isn't aware of the best way to help you!

It is empowering for them to know your plan and advocate for you when you can’t. The more they understand about labor, the less fear and more confidence they have supporting you, especially in the hospital! This is exactly why I have my client's spouses attend our sessions!

Please share if your husband attended your birth class! If not, do you wish he would have?