The Compassionate Friends/Kirkland WA

Reminder: Our monthly TCF Coffee meeting is tomorrow, Saturday 26th of October at 10am in Starbucks, in QFC, at 11224 NE 124th St, Kirkland, WA 98034. Please come and join us.

“Sometimes I wonder if I'm the person I was born to be, if the life I've lived really is the one I was meant to, or if it's some half-life, a mutation engineered by loss, cobbled together by the will to survive. The day my father died, the child I was disappeared, washed away by the turn of the tide. From time to time, I still catch glimpses of that boy, swimming through warm water towards his dad in a crystal blue pool.

His father smiles as the boy wraps his arms and legs around him and holds him tight. A seashell wind chime gently blows in the breeze. He can hear waves crashing somewhere through the hedges and over the dunes.

Many times I've wished I had a mark, a scar, a missing limb, something children could have pointed at, at which adults could tell them not to stare. At least then, I wouldn't have been expected to smile and mingle, meet and greet. They would have seen, they would have known that, like a broken locked, I only have half a heart.”

- Anderson Cooper: All There Is Podcast - Season 3 Episode 3

https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/all-there-is-with-anderson-cooper/id1643163707

Reminder: Our monthly Moms’ and Dads’ online meeting, using Zoom, is tonight, Thursday night, 10/24 at 7pm. Please come and join us. If anybody wants to test connectivity or installing the Zoom software beforehand, you can call me on (425) 444-3606 or reach out to me by email at [email protected].

“Sometimes I wonder if I'm the person I was born to be, if the life I've lived really is the one I was mean to, or if it's some half-life, a mutation engineered by loss, cobbled together by the will to survive. The day my father died, the child I was disappeared, washed away by the turn of the tide. From time to time, I still catch glimpses of that boy, swimming through warm water towards his dad in a crystal blue pool.

His father smiles as the boy wraps his arms and legs around him and holds him tight. A seashell wind chime gently blows in the breeze. He can hear waves crashing somewhere through the hedges and over the dunes.

Many times I've wished I had a mark, a scar, a missing limb, something children could have pointed at, at which adults could tell them not to stare. At least then, I wouldn't have been expected to smile and mingle, meet and greet. They would have seen, they would have known that, like a broken locked, I only have half a heart.”

- Anderson Cooper: All There Is Podcast - Season 3 Episode 3

https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/all-there-is-with-anderson-cooper/id1643163707

Reminder: Our monthly Chapter meeting is tonight (Thursday October 11th) at 7pm at the Holy Spirit Lutheran Church at 10021 NE 124th Street, Kirkland, WA 98034. Please come along and join us in person.

"The idea that a person does not exist anymore does not follow the rules the brain has learned over a lifetime."
- Mary-Frances O'Conner: The Grieving Brain: The Surprising Science of How We Learn from Love and Loss.

Reminder: Our monthly TCF Coffee meeting is tomorrow, Saturday 28th of September at 10am in Starbucks, in QFC, at 11224 NE 124th St, Kirkland, WA 98034. Please come and join us.

“Grief is a heart-wrenchingly painful problem for the brain to solve, and grieving necessitates learning to live in the world with the absence of someone you love deeply, who is ingrained in your understanding of the world.”

- Mary-Frances O'Conner: The Grieving Brain: The Surprising Science of How We Learn from Love and Loss.

Reminder: Our monthly Moms’ and Dads’ online meeting, using Zoom, is tomorrow night, Thursday night, 9/26 at 7pm. Please come and join us. If anybody wants to test connectivity or installing the Zoom software beforehand, you can call me on (425) 444-3606 or reach out to me by email at [email protected].

Also note that we will be starting in-person meetings in November on the 1st Thursday of each month 7-9pm, starting 11/7, at Evergreen Hospice. Look out for more details.

“Grief is a heart-wrenchingly painful problem for the brain to solve, and grieving necessitates learning to live in the world with the absence of someone you love deeply, who is ingrained in your understanding of the world.”

- Mary-Frances O'Conner: The Grieving Brain: The Surprising Science of How We Learn from Love and Loss.

Reminder: Our monthly Chapter meeting is tomorrow night (Thursday September 12th) at 7pm at the Holy Spirit Lutheran Church at 10021 NE 124th Street, Kirkland, WA 98034. Please come along and join us in person.

"A key problem in grief is that there is a mismatch between the virtual map we always use to find our loved ones, and the reality, after they die, that they can no longer be found in the dimensions of space and time. The unlikely situation that they are not on the map at all, the alarm and confusion that this causes, is one reason grief overwhelms us."

- Mary-Frances O'Conner: The Grieving Brain: The Surprising Science of How We Learn from Love and Loss.

Reminder: Our monthly TCF Coffee meeting is tomorrow, Saturday 24th of August at 10am in Starbucks, in QFC, at 11224 NE 124th St, Kirkland, WA 98034. Please come and join us.

"A key problem in grief is that there is a mismatch between the virtual map we always use to find our loved ones, and the reality, after they die, that they can no longer be found in the dimensions of space and time. The unlikely situation that they are not on the map at all, the alarm and confusion that this causes, is one reason grief overwhelms us."

- Mary-Frances O'Conner: The Grieving Brain: The Surprising Science of How We Learn from Love and Loss.

Reminder: Our monthly Moms’ and Dads’ online meeting, using Zoom, is tonight, Thursday night, 8/22 at 7pm. Please come and join us. If anybody wants to test connectivity or installing the Zoom software beforehand, you can call me on (425) 444-3606 or reach out to me by email at [email protected].

"A key problem in grief is that there is a mismatch between the virtual map we always use to find our loved ones, and the reality, after they die, that they can no longer be found in the dimensions of space and time. The unlikely situation that they are not on the map at all, the alarm and confusion that this causes, is one reason grief overwhelms us."

- Mary-Frances O'Connor: The Grieving Brain: The Surprising Science of How We Learn from Love and Loss.

Reminder: Our monthly Chapter meeting is tomorrow night (Thursday August 8th) at 7pm at the Holy Spirit Lutheran Church at 10021 NE 124th Street, Kirkland, WA 98034. Please come along and join us in person.

"Complex trauma can develop when a person who has experienced past trauma lingers again in fear without support or relief. Compound trauma can occur when more than one overwhelmingly bad thing happens in a short span of time."
- Meghan Riordan Jarvis: End of The Hour: A Therapist's Memoir.

Reminder: Our monthly TCF Coffee meeting is tomorrow, Saturday 27th of July at 10am in Starbucks, in QFC, at 11224 NE 124th St, Kirkland, WA 98034. Please come and join us.

"I stopped listening to music altogether. When I stumbled upon music being played elsewhere, the effect on me was often giddying. A soaring Ave Maria that played on the radio in the dentist's waiting room sent me into a spiral of grief; so irresistibly beautiful I found myself mesmerized by it, unable to tear myself away until, eventually, I had no choice but to creep out and hide sobbing in the lavatory by the receptionist's desk."

- Ben Goldsmith: God is An Octopus: Loss, Love and A Calling To Nature

Reminder: Our monthly Moms’ and Dads’ online meeting, using Zoom, is tomorrow night, Thursday night, 7/25 at 7pm. Please come and join us. If anybody wants to test connectivity or installing the Zoom software beforehand, you can call me on (425) 444-3606 or reach out to me by email at [email protected].

"I stopped listening to music altogether. When I stumbled upon music being played elsewhere, the effect on me was often giddying. A soaring Ave Maria that played on the radio in the dentist's waiting room sent me into a spiral of grief; so irresistibly beautiful I found myself mesmerized by it, unable to tear myself away until, eventually, I had no choice but to creep out and hide sobbing in the lavatory by the receptionist's desk."

- Ben Goldsmith: God is An Octopus: Loss, Love and A Calling To Nature

Reminder: Our monthly Moms’ and Dads’ online meeting, using Zoom, is tomorrow night, Thursday night, 6/27 at 7pm. Please come and join us. If anybody wants to test connectivity or installing the Zoom software beforehand, you can call me on (425) 444-3606 or reach out to me by email at [email protected].

"During the first four to six months after the loss of a loved one, people are more likely to experience some type of physical problem, with men being at greater risk than women"

- Kelly Cervantes: Normal Broken: The Grief Companion for when it's time to heal but you're not sure you want to

Reminder: Our monthly TCF Coffee meeting is tomorrow, Saturday 22nd of June at 10am in Starbucks, in QFC, at 11224 NE 124th St, Kirkland, WA 98034. Please come and join us.

“After a child dies, when you are devastated by pain and grief, you may feel in danger of losing you sanity.”
- Nisha Zenoff: The Unspeakable Loss: How do you live after a child dies?

Reminder: Our monthly Chapter meeting is tonight (Thursday May 13th) at 7pm at the Holy Spirit Lutheran Church at 10021 NE 124th Street, Kirkland, WA 98034. Please come along and join us in person.

"Solace and care come from many sources. Others who listen deeply, attentively, and nonjudgmental can be found in the least expected places. Take note, pay attention, and seek help from those willing to be present with you.
Time with these kind of people can carry you through perilous terrain."

- Joanne Cacciatore, PhD: Bearing the Unbearable: Love, Loss, and the Heartbreaking Path of Grief

Reminder: Our monthly TCF Coffee meeting is tomorrow, Saturday 25th of May at 10am in Starbucks, in QFC, at 11224 NE 124th St, Kirkland, WA 98034. Please come and join us.

“’I do have one kind of self-help-adjacent trick that I suggest trying: writing. By putting words to my most hollowing emotions and confusing thoughts, I have been able to blow away the oppressive grief fog more effectively than a high-powered fan in a Beyoncé music video.”
- Kelly Cervantes: The Grief Companion for When It’s Time to Heal but You’re Not Sure You Want To.

Reminder: Our monthly Moms’ and Dads’ online meeting, using Zoom, is tomorrow night, Thursday night, 5/23 at 7pm. Please come and join us. If anybody wants to test connectivity or installing the Zoom software beforehand, you can call me on (425) 444-3606 or reach out to me by email at [email protected].

"Grieving parents are often angry, bitter, and depressed, fearing that their feelings of hopelessness and despair will last forever. They will not. However, since you do not yet truly know that, one of your biggest challenges is to learn to tolerate the depth of your own despair and to have compassion for your own suffering."
- Nisha Zenoff: The Unspeakable Loss: How Do You Live After a Child Dies?

Reminder: Our monthly Chapter meeting is tonight (Thursday May 9th) at 7pm at the Holy Spirit Lutheran Church at 10021 NE 124th Street, Kirkland, WA 98034. Please come along and join us in person.

I'll be bringing our button making equipment to the meeting with me tomorrow night. If you want to make a button of your child, grandchild or sibling, please bring along a glossy photograph minimum size 2.5 inch square. Come along tomorrow night and get a precious button memento.

"Sometimes we can find unexpected meaning in the smallest of things."
- David Kessler: Finding Meaning: The Sixth Stage of Grief.

Reminder: Our monthly TCF Coffee meeting is later today, Saturday 27th of April at 10am in Starbucks, in QFC, at 11224 NE 124th St, Kirkland, WA 98034. Please come and join us.

"'I'm disproportionately angry about it,' I say to my husband when something has tipped me over the edge. Almost instantly, I feel better. Acknowledging an emotion is the first step in understanding it, and recognizing its irrationality removes its power."
- Clare Mackintosh: I Promise It Won't Always Hurt Like This: 18 Assurances on Grief.

Reminder: Our monthly Moms’ and Dads’ online meeting, using Zoom, is tonight, Thursday night, 4/25 at 7pm. Please come and join us. If anybody wants to test connectivity or installing the Zoom software beforehand, you can call me on (425) 444-3606 or reach out to me by email at [email protected].

"'I'm disproportionately angry about it,' I say to my husband when something has tipped me over the edge. Almost instantly, I feel better. Acknowledging an emotion is the first step in understanding it, and recognizing its irrationality removes its power."
- Clare Mackintosh: I Promise It Won't Always Hurt Like This: 18 Assurances on Grief.

Reminder: Our monthly Chapter meeting is tonight (Thursday April 11th) at 7pm at the Holy Spirit Lutheran Church at 10021 NE 124th Street, Kirkland, WA 98034. Please come along and join us in person.

"Sleeplessness was a primary complaint from many of my grieving clients. I hadn't ever fully understood just how an embodied lack of sleep infects every aspect of one's ability to function. Sure, I'd been a sleep-deprived parent to a newborn, but I'd saved myself by napping. Grief insomnia was a secondary loss. My perpetual exhaustion meant I was edgy and spongelike, absorbing every small hurt."
- Meghan Riordan Jarvis: End of The Hour: A Therapist's Memoir.

Reminder: Our monthly Moms’ and Dads’ online meeting, using Zoom, is tonight, Thursday night, 3/28 at 7pm. Please come and join us. If anybody wants to test connectivity or installing the Zoom software beforehand, you can call me on (425) 444-3606 or reach out to me by email at [email protected].

"Loss breeds bitterness, but it creates compassion too, and when one has burned itself out, the other will remain. Grief doesn't turn you into a terrible person; it makes you a kind one."
- Clare Mackintosh: I Promise It Won't Always Hurt Like This: 18 Assurances on Grief.

Reminder: Our monthly TCF Coffee meeting is tomorrow, Saturday 23rd of March at 10am in Starbucks, in QFC, at 11224 NE 124th St, Kirkland, WA 98034. Please come and join us.

“I promise you, as I walk side by side with you in your grief, that it will get better. It will not always hurt like this.”
- Clare Mackintosh: I Promise It Won't Always Hurt Like This: 18 Assurances on Grief.

Reminder: Our monthly Chapter meeting is tomorrow night at 7pm at the Holy Spirit Lutheran Church at 10021 NE 124th Street, Kirkland, WA 98034. Please come along and join us in person.

"Loss breeds bitterness, but it creates compassion too, and when one has burned itself out, the other will remain. Grief doesn't turn you into a terrible person; it makes you a kind one."
- Clare Mackintosh: I Promise It Won't Always Hurt Like This: 18 Assurances on Grief.

Reminder: Our monthly TCF Coffee meeting is tomorrow, Saturday 24th of February at 10am in Starbucks, in QFC, at 11224 NE 124th St, Kirkland, WA 98034. Please come and join us.

"I have heard it said that the greatest loss a human being can experience is the loss of a child. This is true. The person you were before, you will never be again; it doesn't just change you, it demolishes you. The rest of your life is spent on another level, the level of those who have lost a child."
- Anderson Cooper & Gloria Vanderbilt: The Rainbow Comes and Goes: A Mother and Son on Life, Love, and Loss.

Reminder: The Compassionate Friends Coffee meeting

Due to popular demand, our TCF Coffee meeting has started up again. We will meet Saturday 28th of October at 10am in Starbucks, in QFC, at 11224 NE 124th St, Kirkland, WA 98034. Looking forward to seeing you there.

"Each new life, no matter how brief FOREVER changes the world." - Author unknown