SELF Wellness Company LLC

Not bad for a guy who:

1. Lost his baseball scholarship due to poor grades.

2. Was told by an advisor that “college isn’t for everyone”.

3. Flunked out and was academically suspended for a year.

This is proof of the ability to change circumstances and create a better future. I’m not anything special; I just don’t want to spend another moment NOT giving my very best.

A little Monday - I may not be the smartest, most savvy, or most strategic; however, I am determined, ethical, and the hardest working man in the room. It’s not anecdotal; it’s fact. It’s going to happen…

Day 1 - Vacation seems to be going well. Currently stuck inside a Coach store while mom shops for a purse. (Send help…)

❗️REMINDER❗️

A key component to running on an Assault Runner is to chalk your entire f—king body to increase speed and efficiency. Afterwards, don’t clean up after yourself because these $3000 machines don’t require proper care and maintenance. Grab a and flip off the owners as you walk out while pretending you didn’t know better.

“But there was no need to be ashamed of tears, for the tears bore witness that a man had the greatest of courage, the courage to suffer.” - Victor Frankl

If you haven’t seen this movie, do yourself a favor and go see it. I think a lot of us can resonate with its message, especially if you are someone working hard to be more and to find a path to a fulfilling life.

Here’s my day so far:

1. Workout at 6 am
2. 3.5 Mile Run
3. Anxiety (oh boy)
4. Cold Shower
5. Anxiety
6. Eat and Protein Shake
7. Anxiety
8. Panic Attack
9. Take Kellen to Soccer Tryouts
10. Anxiety

The physical sensations I’m feeling are perfectly normal, but my subconscious mind has categorized them as a threat due to previous incidents related to panic attacks. My hard drive has classified these feelings and it’s a process to break them. So, what am I doing?

1. Acceptance of the feelings (sitting with it and not resisting).
2. Nutrition - tons of fruit and veggies. Making sure I have the proper nutrients to calm my sympathetic nervous system.
3. Re-centering myself when needed. Breathing techniques, identifying 5 items in my immediate field of vision, and using “I AM” statements.

If you struggle with anxiety, I hope this helps a little bit because I know how hard it can be… If there’s anything I can do to support you, please don’t hesitate to let me know.

Not big on selfies but this is a text I sent to my mom. Anyone who knows my background knows how much I’ve struggled with myself. I’m 43 years old and I get incredibly frustrated with myself from an emotional control, maturity, and relationship standpoint.
I’m also healing and there’s a lot of things I am still learning to give myself grace on; something I’ve never really done.
The worst part of this transition is I KNOW that my pain comes thru sometimes to my boys. I hate it. I judge myself harshly for it. I tell myself to “MAN UP!” and “QUIT BEING A LITTLE BITCH!” and “EVERYONE HAS ISSUES; NOBODY CARES!” but this is just me avoiding the root cause of the feelings. So, I hide myself and never talk about it.
The truth is part of me is still that little boy who, in the moment, just wants to feel loved, feel his mom’s hands on his face, and be Superman for a little while. The truth is I’m a man who realizes that his mom DID love him despite her personal demons and struggles.
I have to sit with this realizing how many years I’ve wasted being angry at my parents. I was hurt, but I ended up hurting myself in the process.
So, if I seem moody… if I seem distant… if I seem lost in my thoughts… if I seem short with you… know that I am healing and I don’t mean to be like that towards you. I’m doing my best so I can find happiness and peace in my life while working on being the best person I can be for my loved ones.

Out of the myriad lessons I’ve learned and taught; this is the biggest lesson of all.
Life is hard enough. Stop trying to be perfect.
Just “Be”. That’s enough; You’re enough. You deserve grace too.

Personal Responsibility and Team Responsibility.
I fight for the guy next to me. I go to war with the guy next to me. I work my ass off because I want to be a value add for the guy next to me. I show up and perform my very best daily for the guy next to me.
This is the way.

Because I can… University of Kansas - Spring Semester.

I kept my word to myself. Junior Year done with a 4.0.

⚾️ Are you committed?

⚾️ Do you have an elite work ethic?

⚾️ Are you mentally tough; do you accept correction?

⚾️ Do you perform in pressure situations?

⚾️ Can you handle failure?

⚾️ Are you willing to be misunderstood for the dream?

Fate doesn’t exist in sports. Youth athletes must understand the requirements for success and CHOOSE to be champions long before becoming an actual champion. It is found in the process of becoming a champion:

🔴 believing as a champion believes

🔴 behaving as a champion behaves

🔴 working as a champion works

🔴 refusing to give up no matter the circumstances similar to a champion.

It’s neither God’s favor nor happenstance that creates a winner. It’s the utilization of God’s favor for the tools he placed within you, and it’s both adapting and using the external environment to your advantage.

Lastly, it’s the acceptance of correction and accountability. Seeing it as opportunity and love versus failure and exposure.

I’ve carried heavier s**t in my head and heart. This is nothing.

I hate that it needs to be said. Don’t be that guy. Never works out. ⚾️

Don’t talk about it; be about it.

The standard is the standard.
It takes what it takes.
Everyone finds out one way or another.
Make sure you don’t find out before it’s too late.

To go up hill, I must be intentional.

“And I heard the voice of the Lord saying, ‘Whom shall I send? And who will go for us?’ And I said, ‘Here I am. Send me’”. - Isaiah 6:8

I will go… send me.

Don’t buy your own bulls**t. I know how painful it is to desire change, transformation and growth when EVERYTHING inside you is SCREAMING to stay the same. I know what it’s like to sit with the results of who I am, the decisions I’ve made, and to see the pain I’ve caused to other people. I know what it’s like to feel hopeless; trapped by the negative thoughts and beliefs that continually sabotage progress and relationship building. I know the addiction of living with personal dogma and hating the emotions that influence my behavior.

I also know I’m the only that can change it. So, I will look deep, feel this pain, and choose to do/be better.

My son loves Panda Express, so we decide to have a little “dad and son” date for lunch.

3 young men, 2 high school and 1 middle school age, eat and then do this to the floor before leaving.

I ask Kellen, “Is this how we do things?”

His response, “No, we clean up our messes.”

Why?

“It’s respectful. It’s the right thing to do.”

It’s also about:

Personal Responsibility
Principles
Values
Standards
Being a Value-Add in people’s lives.

People giggle and snicker when I talk about this stuff but it’s true. People say, “it’s not a big deal..” and my response is always, “exactly.”

If you can’t do the small, seemingly insignificant things, then how will you ever be blessed with the bigger, more meaningful things?

John Wooden said it best:

“It’s the little details that are vital. Little things make the big things happen.”

Furthermore, if you treat people, places and things like this picture; I don’t want to coach you, I don’t want to be associated with you, and I don’t want you influencing my kids.

Anyone who knows me knows I don’t drink often. However, I will enjoy this bottle of Nagual de Marzo from and

If anyone finds me running naked singing A Perfect Circle, Puscifer, or Tool; just let me be… I need it.

**tisgettingreal

I’ve seen people trolling Chris Jones for crying before games. Real ones know why…

What you choose in the seemingly insignificant moments will determine your level of success in a stated desire.

Stay on the path. Don’t give up. See it through.

My boys. Still the greatest blessing I’ve ever received.

Me - “What are you doing Kellen?”

Kellen - “Mentally preparing for practice.” 🤷‍♂️

This is what I come home to…

1. The early mornings when nobody was watching

2. The late nights when nobody was watching

3. The victories won in his mind, on the field, and everything in-between

4. The pain of losing and the heartbreak, and loneliness, accompanying that pain.

5. The days when he didn’t want to do anything, but he forced himself to do it.

6. All the time his mom sacrificed to make sure he got to practices and games. The talks, the fights, the many tearful prayers, and the love that she provided resulting in a hedge of protection around his life

7. The people that believed in him and picked him up at his lowest, and the leadership provided that helped get back on track.

8. The people who doubted him and hoped he’d fail to justify their lack of commitment and willingness to go “all-in” for a dream. The ones who told him to give up, and those who turned their backs on him.

9. Gratitude for the moment… that all the hard work, the faith, the resilience in trials and tribulation, the good and bad resulted in this one moment.

10. The preparation and thankfulness he had for himself because he knew he was ready for this moment. He knew that the game was a microcosm of the countless hours, and everything listed above that set him up for success in the biggest game of his life.

I laugh reading all the outcry from people who are personally offended with Travis’ emotional outburst. Frankly, it’s lame. A bunch of people constantly looking to take things to the highest possible level in order to create drama, cause issues, and feel justified for their prejudices.

1. This happens in sports. Coaches to players; vice versa; player to player. Most of you complaining would die on the spot if you saw a fraction of what happens behind closed doors.

2. For the “just have fun” or “it’s just a game” crowd… winning is fun and most who play at that level have dedicated UNGODLY amounts of time, effort, and energy into their crafts only to miss EVER getting a chance to play in that game. And those that do get the chance have an emotional connection and investment to that one game 99% of the world will NEVER understand.

3. Just stop… get over yourselves and stop putting your expectations on behavior, believes, actions, and how athletes and coaches go about their lives. You have no context, so feel to be a fan and enjoy the game. Otherwise, you’re out of pocket and need to step back.

SOME OF THE BEST PLAYERS/COACHES AND MEN I’VE KNOWN PERSONALLY HAVE YELLED AT ME, CALLED ME NAMES, CHALLENGED ME, AND I’VE EVEN BEEN IN FIST FIGHTS WITH THOSE SAME MEN.

But, the difference is I knew those men loved me and would take a bullet for me. I wouldn’t trust some of you all complaining as far as I could throw you.

Do better.

Wholeness.

Believe you are the BEST in your Mind.

Work like you haven’t achieved jack s**t.

Everything is earned; nothing is given.

It’s absolutely surprising that people get offended when asked to follow the etiquette and rules of the gym.