Barnum Counseling

During the postpartum period, many women struggle with body image. Some are frustrated because their body changed in ways they didn’t expect. Or, perhaps their body hasn’t “bounced back” as quickly as they had hoped it would.

Whatever the reason, if this sounds like you, please offer yourself some self-compassion. Practice patience, kind self-talk, and focus on what your body CAN do right now. Your body just did something truly remarkable, and it can take up to TWO YEARS to fully heal from that! ❤️

Wishing everyone a meaningful Memorial Day.

Today we remember all of the people that didn’t make it home and the ones that lost their battles after they got home.

On this Mother’s Day, I am thinking of all of the women who might be experiencing a mix of emotions: sadness, anger, grief, confusion, loneliness, desire, hope, acceptance. Holding space for all of you today. ❤️

May is Maternal Mental Health Awareness Month… and today is World Maternal Mental Health Day.

The postpartum period is tough. Physical recovery, body changes, sleep deprivation, attachment and connection to the baby…can all be challenging without helpful supports in place. It takes a village!

Sharing from - check in on your postpartum mom friends, sisters, daughters…

Maternal Mental Wellness = Child Wellness!

Delivery Coping Plan continued….

Day 5: Delivery Room Support (outside of your medical team)

Who you have by your side during your delivery is an important consideration. Here’s why:

Sometimes during labor and delivery, women can be overcome with emotions or struggle with pain. It can be difficult to communicate what we need when we are feeling overwhelmed or are in pain.

Consider having at least one person in the room with you who knows your birth plan and coping plan. This might be your partner, a Doula, a family member, or a friend.

How can they help?

This person can advocate for your needs.

This person can encourage you to utilize the coping strategies you came up with prior to labor and delivery.

If you cannot communicate or you have trouble accessing your coping skills, they can be there to support you and honor the plan that you worked hard to create!

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Something else to contemplate:

Are you interested in having visitors at the hospital pre and/or post-delivery?

If so, who?

If not, how do you plan to address those boundaries ahead of time?

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Need some help mentally preparing for your upcoming delivery? Contact Barnum Counseling today!

Disclaimer: this social media content is not a replacement for professional counseling services. It is for educational purposes only.
If you are looking for support from a licensed professional counselor/therapist, contact me today.

Day 4: Working with your baby during delivery

During labor and delivery, some women feel that they are fighting with or against their baby to get their baby out. This can lead to a lot of overwhelming feelings and emotions about baby.

Instead, what if you considered the following:

🔘 How do you envision working together WITH your baby during delivery?

In your mind, picture that you and your baby are a team; working together toward the same goal. You are partners in this challenge.

🔘 What will you do to reassure and soothe your baby?

Consider words of encouragement (for yourself and your baby).

🔘 Imagine your baby’s experience.

Coming into the world outside of the womb is likely a shocking experience for your baby. This can often allow you to offer compassion for your baby while you are experiencing the discomfort and pain of labor.

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Need some help mentally preparing for your upcoming delivery? Contact Barnum Counseling today!

Disclaimer: this social media content is not a replacement for professional counseling services. It is for educational purposes only.
If you are looking for support from a licensed professional counselor/therapist, contact me today.

Delivery Coping Plan Series continued…

Day 3: Dealing with unexpected feelings and emotions

You can’t plan and prepare for every scenario, or anticipate every single emotion that may arise during your delivery.

Here’s what you CAN do:

-Focus on what you can control a like your breathing
-Be a curious observer - notice what’s coming up for you
-Imagine riding the wave of your emotions
-Imagine working together with your baby (tomorrow’s post will expand on ways to do this!)

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Need some help with processing your emotions about and mentally preparing for your upcoming delivery? Contact Barnum Counseling today!

Disclaimer: this social media content is not a replacement for professional counseling services. It is for educational purposes only.
If you are looking for support from a licensed professional counselor/therapist, contact me today.

Birth/Delivery Care Considerations and Coping Plan

Day 2: Finding Comfort During Delivery

Now that we’ve named our emotions (or the emotions that we anticipate feeling during delivery), how do we tame them?

Creating a coping plan now for managing emotions during your delivery can help the experience of your delivery to feel more manageable.

Of course, you can’t plan for everything… but thinking about some things that might help you to feel more comfortable during delivery can certainly be beneficial.

Some women have found the following to be helpful during their delivery:

1. Calming music
2. Essential oils
3. Audio books
4. Reciting positive affirmations
5. Cozy socks
6. Comforting snacks
7. Chapstick
8. Practicing breathing techniques
9. Mindfulness of emotions

What would you add?

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Need some help mentally preparing for your upcoming delivery? Contact Barnum Counseling today!

Disclaimer: this social media content is not a replacement for professional counseling services. It is for educational purposes only.
If you are looking for support from a licensed professional counselor/therapist, contact me today.

Birth/Delivery Considerations and Coping

Day 1: Exploring Your Thoughts and Feelings Around Your Upcoming Delivery

If you’re giving birth soon, it’s likely that you’re feeling a myriad of emotions. This is totally normal! Let’s explore them!

Take out a notebook or a piece of paper.

Write the answers to the following:

What feelings come up for you when you think about your upcoming delivery?

What are you excited about?

What might you be worried about?

Given your history, is there anything that might be triggering?

What do you anticipate feeling the day of delivery?

Are there any medical questions that you still need answered by your OB/GYN or midwife that might offer you some comfort?

What are you feeling confident about going into your upcoming delivery?

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Any feelings that are coming up for you are valid.

By identifying and naming the emotions you are currently experiencing, along with the ones you anticipate feeling, you can:

1. More effectively process your emotions
2. Offer yourself comfort and validation
3. Prepare to more effectively cope during delivery (tomorrow we’ll talk more about coping)

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Need some help with processing your emotions about and mentally preparing for your upcoming delivery? Contact Barnum Counseling today!

Disclaimer: this social media content is not a replacement for professional counseling services. It is for educational purposes only.
If you are looking for support from a licensed professional counselor/therapist, contact me today.

Birth/Delivery Care Considerations and Coping

If you’re giving birth soon, then it’s likely that you’re feeling a myriad of emotions. You might even be curious about what your experience will be like if this is your first time.

Follow us this week for some tips on how to mentally and emotionally prepare for your upcoming delivery!

Disclaimer: this social media content is not a replacement for professional counseling services. It is for educational purposes only.
If you are looking for support from a licensed professional counselor/therapist, contact me today.

Powerful words from one of the leading, parenting experts:

“You are the architect of your child’s resilience, and that is the ultimate gift you can give them.

After all, successfully managing life’s challenges is a person’s most reliable path to happiness.”

Dr. Becky Kennedy

This really resonates. As parents, we have such an important responsibility to set our kids up for success. That weight can be heavy.

AND it is also an honor and privilege to have and raise resilient children.

Postpartum Care Plan Series Follow Up…

Other Considerations: Relationships with Family & Friends

“Mama - please know that you are not responsible for how others respond to your boundaries.” .mommy.psychologist

When you have a baby, it’s not uncommon for changes to occur in your relationships.

The dynamics in your relationships with other family members and your friendships may shift. And that’s ok!

Just as it’s important to have conversations with the person you are co-parenting with (if you have one), it is also important to have conversations with other people in your life around boundaries.

What conversations need to be had regarding the changes in your relationships that you anticipate post-baby?

What commitments need to be re-evaluated?

What will holidays look like? Will new traditions be established?

Remember: you do not need anyone else’s approval to make changes that better fit the needs of your growing family.

If you need support with setting and maintaining boundaries with others, call Barnum Counseling today!

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Disclaimer: this social media content is not a replacement for professional counseling services. It is for educational purposes only.
If you are looking for support from a licensed professional counselor/therapist, contact me today.

Postpartum Care Plan Series Continued…

Day 7: Asking for Help

About one in seven women will struggle with postpartum anxiety or depression.

Approximately one in ten men will struggle with postpartum depression.

The transition into parenthood has a lot of ups and downs…hormonal and mood changes can create complications.

If things get a bit tricky postpartum, who can you lean on for help?

We encourage you to make a list of the top five people you can call on if you need a break, or a favor, or some other type of support.

Also, consider reaching out to a perinatal or postpartum counselor (like Ali Barnum) who can help you to create a plan to manage your anxiety and find joy again.

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Disclaimer: this social media content is not a replacement for professional counseling services. It is for educational purposes only.
If you are looking for support from a licensed professional counselor/therapist, contact me today.

Postpartum Care Plan Series Continued…

Day 6: Roles & Responsibilities

Before your new bundle of joy arrives, it’s highly recommended that you discuss with your partner and/or coparent any expectations around roles and responsibilities.

As a mom, taking care of a newborn is a full-time responsibility that requires time, energy, and physical and emotional effort.

There may be some responsibilities inside and outside of your home that you will likely need to shift over to your partner, or outsource.

It’s encouraged that you come up with a list of tasks that you each will be responsible for, especially within the first six weeks to three months postpartum.

Talking about and agreeing upon a plan for these responsibilities in advance of baby coming will hopefully alleviate some of the stress you will be feeling in the weeks and months following the birth of your little one.

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Disclaimer: this social media content is not a replacement for professional counseling services. It is for educational purposes only.
If you are looking for support from a licensed professional counselor/therapist, contact me today.

Postpartum Care Plan Series Continued…

Day 5: Relationship with Your Partner/Co-Parent

Having a baby changes EVERYTHING.

Before the baby arrives, it’s imperative that you have conversations with your partner (if you have one) about what support you anticipate needing postpartum.

You may want to share your expectations with your partner (and hear them out about their expectations too).

Finish the sentence:

“In our relationship, it’s important that we…”

“As parents, it’s important that we…”

Some answers might include:
-prioritize communication
-be patient with one another
-support one another
-check in with one another
-make time for one another
-discuss ideas and beliefs around raising kids
-talk about how we were raised, what worked, what didn’t, and what we want to do differently

You may think that these are implied, but verbalizing these expectations can help you each to feel heard and understood in the relationship and as you embark upon your parenting journey

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Disclaimer: this social media content is not a replacement for professional counseling services. It is for educational purposes only.
If you are looking for support from a licensed professional counselor/therapist, contact me today.

Postpartum Care Plan Series Continued…

Day 4: Visitors

Here are some important questions to consider:

Will you allow family members and friends to visit you and your baby while in the hospital?

Once home, what boundaries would you like to set around visitors?

Will you allow them to visit within the first two weeks…or three months?

If you are allowing family and friends to visit early on, will the visit be time-limited?

Will you have any visitors who would like to hold the baby wash their hands? Wear a mask?

What are some tasks that visitors can help with while they’re there?

-Feeding the baby
-Laundry
-Dishes/wash bottles and pump parts
-Meals
-Watch the baby while you shower or nap

Disclaimer: this social media content is not a replacement for professional counseling services. It is for educational purposes only.
If you are looking for support from a licensed professional counselor/therapist, contact me today.

Postpartum Care Plan Series Continued…

Day 3: Postpartum Recovery and Self-Care

Having a proactive plan around what your postpartum recovery might look like is strongly encouraged, for your overall physical and mental well-being.

Who can help you to create this? Your counselor or therapist!

Although we cannot prepare for every scenario, having a plan of what your recovery might require AND also a plan for taking care of YOU, may offer you some relief and comfort postpartum.

Depending on the type of delivery you have, you may want to consider whether you may need:

Bandage changes and/or extra supplies
Help with bathing
Assistance with carrying/lifting
Help with feeding the baby
Help getting to and from dr appts

What are some ways that you can practice self-care?

Bathing/showering/washing up daily
Listening to music
Having water and comfort food/items within reach
Communicating what you need
Checking in with a postpartum/perinatal therapist

If you need help coming up with a postpartum plan for recovery and self-care, contact Barnum Counseling today!

Disclaimer: this social media content is not a replacement for professional counseling services. It is for educational purposes only.
If you are looking for support from a licensed professional counselor/therapist, contact me today.

***Postpartum Care Plan Week***
(ideal for moms-to-be)

Day 2: Feeding

As new moms, many of us have hopes of breast-feeding our newborn.

Whether we are breast-feeding on demand, breast-feeding on a schedule, pumping and bottlefeeding, formula feeding, or a combination of all of the above, we learn quickly that feeding our newborn is a full-time job.

Working with a lactation consultant can help - but can sometimes bring feelings of shame and failure when things aren’t exactly working how you imagined.

Please know that you are doing your best and that feeding can also be stressful. If you need emotional support in this area, it may be helpful to talk to a postpartum counselor.

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It’s also helpful to think about how you will feed yourself during the first several weeks or months postpartum!

Mom‘s nutrition is just as important as baby’s is!

Some ideas to consider:

-Crockpot meals in a bag that you can create in advance and freeze, or other frozen meals
-Asking your family members or friends who want to help support you to create a meal train schedule to drop off meals for you and your family
-Think about your budget ahead of time for ordering takeout, including how many times a week your budget can support ordering
-Consider nominating a family or friend to grocery shop for the basics for you, at least during the first few weeks
-Utilize delivery services such as Instacart to shop for you and drop off your groceries (or you can get some fresh air, jump in the car, and pick them up!)

Disclaimer: this social media content is not a replacement for professional counseling services. It is for educational purposes only.
If you are looking for support from a licensed professional counselor/therapist, contact me today.

Postpartum Care Plan Week
(ideal for moms-to-be)

Day 1: SLEEP

If you’re about to become a new parent, then you likely know that you’re in for some BIG life changes.

Let’s talk about sleep. You know that when you have a baby, you are likely going to be sleep-deprived for a period of time.

But how much sleep do you need within a 24 hour period in order to function? This is important to determine… AND sometimes you don’t know how much you need until you’re thrown into feeding a newborn every couple of hours.

Another question to consider: where will the baby sleep?
- In your bed
- In your arms
- In your room in a bassinet
- In a nursery or separate room

There is research supporting where the safest place is for your baby to sleep, and pros and cons to every and all options. Only you get to decide what is best for your family.

Next question: who will be caring for the baby at night?

Ideally, if you have a partner, or family member, or doula who can help, you and that other person or people can rotate. It might be helpful for you each to take shifts. For example, one person sleeps for four hours while the other is awake with the baby. Then, you switch. This can make caring for yourself and your newborn more manageable, especially in the beginning.

But sometimes that’s not possible. Either way, it’s important to come up with a plan.

If you need help coming up with a postpartum plan for sleep, contact Barnum Counseling today!

Disclaimer: this social media content is not a replacement for professional counseling services. It is for educational purposes only.
If you are looking for support from a licensed professional counselor/therapist, contact me today.

Postpartum Care Plan Week:

7 Days, 7 Categories

Where we pose important questions to consider and offer some helpful ideas when developing your postpartum care plan

Follow us during this informative week and feel free to share with someone who might benefit!

The power of “AND”

Lets face it - the pressure to be productive all the time is real…the never-ending to do lists, errands, and carting kids around to activities. Perhaps the people-pleaser in us says yes to too many favors or too many commitments in order to be “helpful.”

The physical and mental loads that we carry can be very heavy.

And what are we often left with?
Hurt. Frustration. Resentment. An empty cup.

Two things are TRUE: we can be productive AND still build in time for rest.

In fact, the NEED for rest is vital so that we don’t crash and burn out.

We can set realistic, attainable goals to AND let our best that day be enough. Sometimes it looks messy AND thats ok.

We can say yes to some commitments (including self-care) AND practice saying no to others (for our own sanity, self-love, and wellbeing).

We can also forgive others (releasing us from harboring negative feelings within us) AND still set clear boundaries, including limiting contact with those who have hurt us.

Both can exist. Both can be true.

Thanks for reminding us of the power of AND !

ATTENTION NEW MOMS

You need to see this.

You need to know that you matter.

Your physical and mental health matters.

It’s never too late to ask for help.
Shared from Hello Postpartum

THIS.

I cannot tell you how many times I’ve had this conversation with moms and moms to be …

Ladies: please be gentle with yourselves and show yourselves compassion.

Adjust unrealistic expectations.

Changing your mindset can change your life.

Credit to Diaryofanhonestmom

💃

Shared from Momwell …

This image really resonates.

No one can really prepare you for the days, weeks and months that follow giving birth.

Navigating the healthcare system postpartum, while stressed, anxious, and sleep-deprived, can be really overwhelming.

You don’t have to navigate this alone. Asking for help to share the load is one of the most courageous things that you can do.

Not sure where to start? Contact Barnum Counseling today!

Ali Barnum, LCPC is a seasoned therapist who has been working with the perinatal population (preconception - year 1 postpartum) for the last 10+ years.

We can navigate this journey together and help you to lighten your heavy mental load!