Tracy Durkin, LCSW

In 2023, the volume and velocity of information swirling around us can be intense. In order to process it all, our psyches can get into a state where everything seems urgent. We may feel a little bit behind, trying to catch up, most of the time; time to think may feel like an impossible luxury.

Most times, though, that thing you need to consider or to decide on could use a little time and probably shouldn’t be rushed. You will feel clearer and calmer once you think about it, talk it over with someone you trust, and sleep on it. Peace.

Sometimes we turn ourselves inside out trying to solve a problem that is either not ours to fix or is beyond our ability to solve. This creates undue stress and frustration, physical exhaustion, a sense of failure and sometimes even power struggles with others.

You must be honest with yourself: is this something you can solve? If yes, then go for it - give it all you’ve got!! If no, then you may need to surrender, to accept that it is beyond your control. Think carefully, be realistic: Solve or surrender? Peace.

it simple

These are all words that describe facets of love: Respect, compassion, acceptance, trust, safety, kindness, generosity, patience, comfort, openness.

It’s hard to think of a single situation or circumstance that would not be improved with any of those energies, right?
Love always helps. Peace.

“Essence” is defined as “the most significant quality, element or aspect of a thing or person.” It’s your you-ness, your core self, unchanged by time or circumstance - the part that feels exactly the same since you can remember. In your essence, you are complete. Peace.

Negative or uncomfortable emotions are not bad; they are just indicators, like the oil light in your car, or a frozen screen on your computer. They are your body’s way of telling you something needs attention.

Most of us get triggered in very specific, patterned ways. The same sort of event or interaction that might insult, hurt, or frighten you may have no emotional impact on me whatsoever, and vice versa. We have unique stories and unique places of sensitivity and reactivity.

Look for patterns in what emotionally activates you. What situations or interactions evoke immediate, strong emotions, to an almost predictable degree? You will likely find themes related to your deepest needs for safety, security and survival. You may need to look closely- but the patterns are there! Learn from triggers. Peace

Guilt has its place. If you offend, oppress, deceive, betray, or injure, you should feel guilty. It’s appropriate- it’s a sign you have a conscience.

But feeling guilty when you’re not probably means you are being manipulated by someone or that you have an overly developed sense of responsibility and unrealistic expectations for yourself.

I often hear folks expressing guilt about their own gifts or blessings because “so many other people are suffering;” this is a good example of inappropriate guilt in need of a reframe!

Compassion and empathy for those who suffer, or who are less fortunate, these are virtues. Gratitude for one’s own good fortune is a virtue. These represent and bring out the best in humans.

Guilt, however, has no uplifting value whatsoever. It is an important emotional response to having done something unethical or immoral, but guilt doesn’t make you a better person- it is not a virtue. Peace.

it simple