The Healing Exhale

"When we’re talking about trauma, when we’re talking about historical trauma, intergenerational trauma, persistent institutional trauma — and personal traumas, whether that be childhood, adolescence, or adulthood — those things, when they are left constricted, you begin to be shaped around the constriction. And it is wordless. Time decontextualizes trauma."

We’ve been sold this idea of healing for the sake of our own constant, personal transformation; this New Age mantra of always needing to be doing “inner work”, growing inwards, ascending. That’s great, I’m not opposed to the mainstreaming of therapy and the destigmatizing of mental health we’ve seen in recent years.

I just find that notion incomplete. The going inwards will definitely be one step, but the perpetual navel gazing stance is fertile ground for stagnation and self-importance. I’m not proposing we heal to go back to work and function in a world that feels very dysfunctional right now, but rather to do the work that is needed for what’s ahead.

The point of of any kind of inner healing work, through expanded states or otherwise, should include a coming back home with a sense of: “Yes, this. I’m in my skin with an open heart and clear head. And with a solid sense of what’s mine to do, what homework is still mine to accomplish on this world. And that includes taking care of myself, those around me, and our planet.”

Finally got this piece of paper today!

After months of training, study sessions, a ton of reading, retreats, inner work, personal reflections, experiential intensives, and practice; with its fair share of vulnerability & apprehension… I am a MAPS trained psychedelic therapist (which still feels surreal to claim).

It was truly an honor to learn from practitioners whose work and research I’ve followed for years and to go through the whole experience with other psychotherapists, doctors, nurses, and providers just as invested as I am in the promise psychedelics hold for the mental health field and beyond.

My hope is for this work to continue to be carried with the care, respect, and ethics it requires; for conversations about risks, abuse of power, access, and decentralized models to be taking place more often; and for openness and flexibility around the systemic shifts it can bring with it.

This frontier is also a homecoming, grateful to be a tiny part of it.

Sitting with the wisdom of elders, both mine and the collective’s.

Grateful for teachers who have come before and to whom the current psychedelic renaissance owes so much to.

Slowing down to unlearn and breathe, before tending to what is ahead.

May we have the patience to nurture and parent our inner child well into adulthood.

The Healing Exhale updated their address.

The body, as a concept in our society, is usually defined in an objectified, normative, and utilitarian way. We are used to talk about our bodies as the summation of different parts, separate from the Self. It is often seen as something to manage, keep healthy, control, or feel ashamed about.
But our bodies and the wisdom they hold go far beyond these narrow and reductionist definitions. When it comes to trauma, for example, the body will not let go of an embodied pattern that has been protecting safety, belonging, or dignity unless a better embodied option is available. Otherwise that would mean abandoning survival. The body will release and process protective embodied patterns only if healing is accessible, or if new embodied choices that better take care of the original need become available.
Somatic practices that look for aliveness, agency, and empowerment see the body as inseparable from the Self: a place of resource, a way of being, a source of both protection and healing. This is why the body responds to resilience, to an organic pace; rather than a sudden insight or a breakthrough moment in a therapy session. As important as these insights are, our bodies need meaningful practices that translate that knowing into a somatic awareness, a feeling of belonging, a felt sense of safety.

Psychotherapy can be, at times, a very isolating experience breeding individualism with this idea of “healing” being out there, accessible to us all, if we only work hard enough for it. This message implies we are responsible for that healing, it is up to us to “do the work” and start feeling better.
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Yes, a lot of the healing that happens in the context of psychotherapy depends on the individual. And there’s also so much more. Whenever we zoom in and get granular about someone’s suffering, we meet complex layers that expand way beyond the individual.
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The communities we belong to, the identities we hold, the timelines in which our lives are unfolding, the political and social context we navigate, the effects oppressive systems have on our wellbeing… all shape and mold our experience, trauma and suffering included.
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What would it feel like to get to know our anger, our sadness, our fear, our rage, our grief? What would they have to say if we gave them the space to be? What’s their role and what are they protecting us from? 🌿

Grounding before sessions. Checking in with my own system. Setting some intentions for the day. 🌱

So much of our healing entails revisiting painful memories and holding space for vulnerable wounded parts to show us the pain they carry. There’s little we can do to change what happened back there, but there’s so much that can happen when our grounded present adult Self witnesses and listens to these younger parts. If we didn’t have a loving and protective presence when we were hurt, we get to be that today and give our inner child what they needed back then. ✨

breathing ∾ unlearning ∾ breathing again

Early in the course of therapy, I often hear clients tell me they’re “too sensitive”. My left-brain-dominant, more logical parts, usually perk up and would love to challenge this idea by explaining “too much” anything implies there is a standard, a baseline we take as the normal amount with a defined threshold, above which to know: more than this much it is too much. Which of course, would be a somewhat rigid attempt to prove the impossibility of quantifying something as intangible as sensitivity. 

But I promise you I’m not that hyper analytical in sessions, and can usually tap into a more calm, curious energy during my work with clients. So instead, our work typically entails exploring the fears behind the idea of being “too sensitive”. It is difficult, often uncomfortable work, but it usually leads us to the realization that being highly sensitive can be a gift, rather than a problem to be fixed.

Excited to start on this journey with this fall. Celebrating today, celebrating for the future. 💙

“Heaven and earth are my inner and outer coffins. The sun, moon, and stars are my drapery, and the whole creation my funeral procession. What more do I want?”
- Huston Smith

Michael Pollan’s previous book, How to Change Your Mind, solidified my curiosity about the world of non ordinary states of consciousness and their potential for healing in the therapeutic space. This one is expanding on that curiosity and grounding me on the beauty of our entanglement with the natural world.

Highly Sensitive People process their surroundings more thoroughly than most, they go through life feeling deeply, experiencing emotions on a much more profound level.

I like to think of high sensitivity as a neutral trait that can be adaptive and protective in nature given our upbringing and personal journeys but that can also become a great asset with the proper boundaries and awareness in place. 

It might take months of formal therapy to establish those boundaries, or it might be a more informal personal journey through meditation, journaling, or any other intentional practice that works best for you. 

Regardless of the methods, what becomes important is to gradually explore the shame behind being highly sensitive and instead reframe this trait as an essential gift to cultivate a deep connection to ourselves and nourish relationships with those around us.

Quick little intro... Hi! I’m Mara and I’m a psychotherapist in Washington, DC. I work with INFJs, empaths, and other highly sensitive humans helping them make sense of what can feel like a tangled mess of emotions inside.

I take an insight-oriented, social justice informed, relational approach to therapy, which means we get to examine how both your story and the weight of world might be affecting your mental health. In the therapy room, I’m committed to creating a space that invites clients to reclaim parts of themselves from a place of compassion and curiosity.

I’m a big fan of self-compassion and vulnerability. I also feel strongly about practicing from a framework that acknowledges the effects of oppressive systems on our mental health and takes us away from pathologizing trauma.

Welcome. I’m glad you’re here, say hi!

Hi! After more than a year of telehealth I’m starting to see clients in person in my Dupont Circle office! Virtual therapy is definitely here to stay and I’ll continue to offer it, but I’m excited to slowly ease back into in person work too.

The thought of keeping an Instagram page for my practice and adding more screen time to my days was honestly daunting during 2020. But now with a little more headspace and a newly found burst of creativity I’m finding I have some things to say.

So I’ll hang out here often, sharing thoughts and reflections on all things IFS, psychedelic therapy integration, and the inner wisdom of the body.