Debra Benfield, CEDRD, RYT

It’s never too late and you are never too old-

💥to get real with yourself

⚡️to finally mend your relationship with your body

✨ to dismantle the beliefs about your midlife + body & belly that hold you back and keep you stuck

💥 to stop giving your power away and remember that you are the expert of you

Registration for my small group coaching program Aging with Vitality and Body Liberation closes at midnight ET tomorrow, September 3rd or when group fills.

I have 2 more openings and I would love to see you there!

If you’re curious about the program, drop the word MEND in the comments below or find the link in my bio.

Thanks to for the inspiration!

Do you want to find the sweet spot between “f*ck it” and “dietland”?

Some people call it Gentle Nutrition.

Embodied or Intentional Eating feels a little more accurate to me.

Whatever you call it, it’s lovely!

You can make food choices that bring:

pleasure/satisfaction
+
sustains/supports
=
Your Sweet Spot

If you are a woman in midlife and beyond, you

🥑do have particular nutritional and metabolic needs

❤️‍🔥 are ready to let go of beliefs that keep you stuck

🚀 are ready to make changes for more personal power and freedom in your life

🙌 realize it’s never too late to find your sweet spot

This is possible for you!

I’m here for women like you who are

• ready to find your sweet spot with how you nourish and care for yourself

• no longer interested in diet/wellness mess

•feel more comfortable and confident in your body

•want to create practices and rituals to embody these changes, not just talk about it!!

I’m getting into this in this week’s newsletter. Drop the word SWEET in the comments and I’ll send you the link to sign up!

PS-My 8-week small group coaching program is now open for the fall cohort’s registration.

Registration closes midnight ET September 3rd! More info in my next newsletter too.

I’m so excited for you to join us!

You know what makes being in midlife and beyond harder?

Feeling like your body is broken and a project you need to work on!

The fact is, the dominant messages about nutrition and movement in midlife and beyond:

• are overwhelming and confusing
•are not accessible for many
•are not sustainable for most
•undermine your relationship with your body
•contribute to eating disorders

It’s a mess!

If you are looking for ways to challenge the social narrative that your body in midlife and beyond needs to be fixed, you’re in the right place!

You deserve to be seen and supported as the unique individual that you are.

NOW is the best time to befriend your body and care for your body as a your life partner.

If you are interested in community and coaching for this empowering process, drop the word READY in the comments and I’ll send you details about the fall cohort of my small group coaching program.

If you’re craving more support soon, I encourage you to check it out. Early bird pricing ends tomorrow, 8/27, at midnight.

Registration closes 9/3 and the group runs 9/10-10/29 (just ahead of holiday stresses!).

This is my last group coaching program of the year.

I’m excited to see you there!

Love,
Deb💕

beration

Do you feel that target on your back?

🎯 Women approaching midlife and beyond are the target of multi-billion dollar marketing campaigns from diet/wellness culture, anti-aging/longevity culture and now the big business of the menopause-sphere!

🤯 All of it leaving you feeling like your body is a problem to fix. The pressure is real!

It’s not too late to join my free online workshop today where you’ll learn how to stop seeing your body as your life’s project!

Core of Aging Well: Mending Your Body Relationship

Today, Friday August 23rd
9 am PT, 12 pm ET

When you sign up, you’ll receive

✨ link to join us live via Zoom

⚡️my Mend Your Body Relationship Checklist

⭐️ generous Q&A with me (my fav part!)

💛 recording if you can’t make it to the live

🌻 first in line for the early-bird deal of my fall group coaching program Aging with Vitality and Body Liberation

Excited to see you there!

Want to know my number one rule for feeling your best in midlife and beyond?

🥁 Stop focusing on controlling your weight!

When you prioritize controlling your weight:

✨you miss out on getting to know yourself and your body

⚡️you don’t learn what foods make you feel energized, sustained, comfortable, etc.

⭐️you don’t get to know which foods make you crave more or leave you unsatisfied or cause you not to feel well

✨ you don’t get to know your own body’s cues and wisdom

⚡️ you likely miss out on your gut instincts

Midlife and beyond is the perfect time to mend your relationship with your body!

I’m offering a free online workshop where we’ll get into this and more about

Core of Aging Well: Mending Your Body Relationship

Friday, August 23 at 9 am PT, 12 pm ET

Drop a ❤️ in the comments if you would like to register and join us!

I would love to see you there!

💕Deb

Tired of all the noise from menopause, longevity and wellness influencers? Me too!

Let’s keep it simple.

Let’s focus on relating to your body with connection, compassion, and curiosity.

One day at a time-

1-feel your feet or your seat and take a deep belly breath or three.

2- make some time to move your body with a playful attitude.

3-nourish yourself with food that supports you in feeling vital and satisfied.*

*I have some basic principles that make finding this sweet spot less confusing and more attainable.

If this sounds appealing to you, I’m going to unpack these ideas in a free online workshop next week

Core of Aging Well: Mending Your Body Relationship

Friday, August 23rd
9 am PT, 12 pm ET

For more details and the link to register, drop a 👋 in the comments below.

I would love to see you there!

Want the bad news first?

😳 Messages from Anti-aging and Longevity culture may re-activate your old disordered eating and diet culture thoughts and habits!

🌺The Good News:
You can make choices that support your vitality and well-being AND be free of ageism and diet/wellness mess.

💡It doesn’t have to be one or the other, it can be both/and!

You can discern what food choices are in your best interest and make you feel good WITHOUT the rigid food rules and the guilt and shame they cause!

🗞️I’m going to unpack how you can create your sweet spot in my next newsletter.

📥Drop the word SWEET in the comments below and I’ll make sure this arrives in your inbox!

When your body is the topic of conversation, how do you take care of yourself and open up a conversation about the fact that bodies come in all shapes, ages, and sizes and there is no right or wrong way to have a body? I'm getting into it in this week's newsletter! Let me know what you think!

When Your Body Is The Topic of Conversation! I am so glad you are here! I don't take a spot in your inbox for granted. Thank you for investing your time and attention in this space.

From my archives in support of yesterday’s post (and the amazing convos in my DMs!).

More in tomorrow’s newsletter too.

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One of my clients firmly stated, “It stops with me.”, and it echoed through me all day.

The stories we have about our bodies are learned and they can be unlearned. Please hear and know that hopeful truth.

You may hold a legacy of body criticism, inherited from the generation before you, who learned from the generation before them.

You can be the alchemist that metabolizes that hurt and no longer gives it oxygen.

Unlearning and relearning is a messy and imperfect process requiring an abundance of compassion for yourself.

This is not quick and easy and may indeed be a lifelong process.

Begin by noticing the words you say to yourself, the tone of the conversation you have with yourself.

Imagine if you said the same to a dear friend or even to yourself as a child.

What do you see in the eyes looking back at you?

The pain is real and you would not impose that on anyone else.

Can you soften and add one more drop of kindness?

This is a practice.

This practice will change you, and in time will lighten the heavy burden of the body shame you’ve inherited.

Shielding yourself from this hurt enables you to then protect those you love.

The work of stopping the body shame you inherited is a mighty task motivated by even mightier love, starting with yourself.

You can do hard things. You are worth doing hard things for.

Original image spotted over at , altered by me.

[image of person shouting to another “your body is bad”, that person shouting to the next “my body is bad”, there is then a bold jagged line shielding the next person who says”I respect my body” to the next person who is a child happily painting a picture.

exactly!

Happy 83rd Birthday, Twyla Tharp!

Pulling this one out of my archives in response to recent post. Thank you Luisa for talking about this-

The parallels between Diet/Wellness culture and Anti-aging /longevity culture are abundantly clear.

👀The Pro-aging movement slips into bed with diet/wellness culture sometimes too. Trust your instincts! If someone is calling themselves pro-aging and selling you a supplements or only highlighting thin bodies, take a second to consider how that is affecting you.

All bodies are worthy bodies! There is no wrong way to have a body.

If you’ve been trying to get off the Diet Culture train or recover from disordered eating, do you find Anti-aging/longevity messages triggering?

I would love to hear your thoughts in the comments👇🏼.

❤️‍🔥Follow for more support to push back against all of it and blaze a liberating path to body respect as you age!

All bodies are beach bodies. Period.

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It’s that time of year again☀️🛝🏄🏾‍♀️

If the smell of dirt warms your heart, you'll appreciate this bit of news.

Why Gardening Is So Good for You (Gift Article) Digging holes can be a workout and mood booster all rolled into one.

All are welcome. May we abide no hatred.

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Not sure who needs to hear this, but you are important, loved, accepted and valid. No matter your gender identity, sexual or romantic attraction, whether you’re closeted, out, or still figuring it out, you deserve to be proud of you who are. Your authentic self is worthy of your love.

During this month of love and acceptance, let’s also never forget the human beings who are struggling for peace and freedom right now. Let’s let our compassion and support for them know no boundaries.

You are always welcome here. Happy Pride Month to you—and to all of us. 🫶🏾🧡🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍⚧️

featured art:

I have so much to say about aging and how to care for your body while you push against societal pressures.

And I have not been able to bring business as usual energy to this platform.

Instead, I encourage you to stop and take a breath here.

If you are able, take action by educating yourself, have conversations about what is happening, calling your congressional representatives, and donating to one of the many initiatives to support the children and their families.

You and your actions matter.

Thank you.

So tired. So much grief. So overwhelmed. And this from
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Don’t stop.
Rest if you must.
Take a break, absolutely.
But don’t stop.

There are people counting on you to quit.
There are also people counting on you to not give up.

Boosting this story about badass Amy Appelhans Gubser. And yes, can we please stop making women’s bodies anything other than fu***ng amazing!


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If we could just stop commenting on women’s bodies, that would be great.

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“My Body Is An Altar. The sacred site is me.”

I almost said no.

I almost said no to ’s invitation to join her and and 5 gorgeous models over 50 years alive to create healing art for this mostly ignored part of a woman’s life journey: Growing older within a collective psychosis that perpetuates a belief that women are less valuable as we age is some backward ass horse crap at best, but it is what a lot of us face if we are BLESSED with a long life in the USA.

We also have been taught to silence and push down the grief that comes with growing older, and the intensity some of us experience with menopause. Most people in western cultures have forgotten how to see, revere, celebrate and make art of all the incredible beauty of growing older, which has been my personal obsession with photography ever since my book “The Crone Body.”

I almost said no to Sue because I hold her with deep reverence, I have watched her powerful creatress energy, epic business and most of all powerful art for over a decade. Sue doesn’t realize I’m not really a photographer, but just a wild-weirdo-witch living an unconventional life in the desert. I feel more like a scorpion under a rock next to an ancient saguaro cactus most days then I do a photographer. My resume is nowhere near good enough to stand next to someone as magnificent as Sue, I thought.

But little girl me said, please please please let’s go meet Sue! And so I leaned into my sticky fear and did something totally new. I packed up my dusty camera and one 50mm prime lens (most people are shocked I only use one lens) and headed to Sue’s beautiful home and studio in Phoenix.

It had been a long time since I had done something that felt so scary. I had forgotten the delicious POTENT medicine there is when we do things that ignite fear in the pit of our bellies. Thank you thank you thank you Sue!

*Group photo posed and crafted by Sue, I just got to hop in and take a photo too :)

The crew: , , .holmes , , , ,

Want to give zero f*cks about feeling frumpy?
Me too!

When I started researching the word “frumpy”, there were 100s of articles about what NOT to do to look frumpy, listing it as one of our greatest fears!

When I read the definition of frumpy in the urban dictionary, all I could think was, who benefits from this mess?

Let’s take it from the top:

“A FEMALE with a lack of concern for appearance”

🤔So those who do not identify as female do not feel frumpy?

💥Most females are socialized to prioritize appearance. Patriarchy 101

🤷🏻‍♀️Lacking concern about appearance is a problem. Really? A problem for whom?
I call 🐂💩!

“Often characterized by”:

😎 “sweatpants” read as clothing that is loose-fitting, allows you to relax, play, breathe and be comfy.

🐺 “frizzy hair” read as hair allowed to be wild or natural.
noteworthy: as you age, your hair changes in texture, grays, and becomes thinner making it much more likely to be frizzy, so this is ageist AF!

👵🏻 “gramma panties” straight up ageist and alludes to loss of sexuality.

💄”pasty complexion” blatant encouragement to support the beauty industry.
“Keeping that youthful glow and radiance” is a prevalent claim used in anti-aging marketing.

⚡️Bottom line: frumpy is a negative social construct at the intersection of fat phobia and ageism.

✨You’ve learned this construct so you can unlearn it!

📥 I’m getting into in my next newsletter if you’re interested. Drop the word “frumpy” in the comments ⬇️ if you want this in your inbox.

Talking about this helps us feel less alone as we battle ageism and diet culture! Feel free to share your experience with feeling frumpy in the comments!

As always, I love this community and appreciate you being here!

Love,
Deb💕

**kfrumpy

Honored to be included in this powerful lineup as this new podcast 🚀! Link to Listen here:
https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/taking-up-space-with-cassie-krajewski/id1745724135?i=1000655713765
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🚀✨ Exciting news, friends! 🎧✨ Introducing “Taking Up Space” - the podcast where we dive deep into the realms of healing, embodiment, and body liberation. I’m thrilled to announce that the first four episodes are now LIVE and ready for your ears! 🌿✨ ⁠
⁠
In this podcast, we’ll explore what it truly means for folks to reclaim their bodies, their inner knowing, and their lives, in a world that often seeks to diminish their voices and experiences. Together, we’ll learn to embody our true selves and occupy space—physically, emotionally, relationally, and intellectually—with confidence and authenticity. Join us as we challenge societal norms, dismantle systemic barriers, and reclaim our right to take up space as an act of resistance and liberation. It’s time to embrace the fullness of who we are without apology. ⁠
⁠
Tune in as we explore stories, insights, and conversations that inspire us to reclaim our space, one episode at a time. 🌈💪 Link in bio to listen and embark on this transformative journey with me! 🎙️✨⁠
⁠
It would mean SO much if you were to subscribe, rate, and review the podcast now in your preferred podcast platform to help amplify our message of body liberation for all. ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

Love this important piece by and I’m honored to be quoted.

If you are mending your relationship with your body while breaking multigenerational patterns of food fears and body criticism as part of their mothering, big respect!

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Happy Mother’s Day!

My little gift to all the moms out there is this latest piece for .

I am so grateful for the wisdom shared by Jill Schwartz, , and for this article.

*t

Mother’s Day is always complicated. This year though:

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all this mother’s day content & all i can think about are palestinian mothers holding their children — or the memories of them — making homes and caring spaces in inhumane conditions, amid fathomless grief and love. if my work on mothering has meant anything to you please consider donating directly to mothers, families, & on the ground maternal health providers through — links are in my bio

dm me a receipt or proof of donation and i’ll send a free copy of either of my books to you or someone you love, or i’ll zoom with you for 20 min to talk about your writing, or help you or your organization or newsletter or pod in whatever small way i can — lmk what you’re looking for just please don’t look away from these mothers and parents whose pain feels so close & so far & so unpreventable that it’s hard to know what to do tho doing nothing isn’t an option

thank you & please feel free to share

🤎🕊️👩🏽‍🍼🇵🇸🤎

Loved my conversation with for her podcast It’s Beyond the Food.

She did a great job of asking questions to highlight the oppressive experience of internalized ageism and how our fear of aging increases our vulnerability to diet/wellness culture mess.

We also get into how you can increase your resiliency and age powerfully!

Listen to our conversation here:
https://www.stephaniedodier.com/episodes/aging-powerfully/
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Me: I have a hard time with “Surrender”.

Walk down the hall.

👀 Arya in “her chair”.

Maybe I’m doing better than I thought.

I needed a giggle.
Cause last week, y’all!

2024 is turning out as promised and we’re not even halfway. We better find some humor.

#2024

Thank you for your powerful work via
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