Kerry Hager, Advanced Online Grief Recovery Specialist

Getting ready for the next chapter of life, retirement!

Thank you, for following this page over the years, meanwhile, it's time to rest and play for a while.

Much love and thanks to you all. And may the world continue to heal, grow, adapt and evolve through all the changes that life brings.

Home The Grief Recovery Method offers Grief Recovery Certification and Support

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Getting comfortable with all feelings, which are only a wave for 60-90 seconds! That's the first step toward real processing and healing. Emotion surfing I call it. It's one of the number one things I work with people on. ❤️

Animals definitely grieve their human companions. Just as human companions grieve their animal companion. We have specialized Grief Recovery Programs for loss of a pet. It's okay to ask for help after loss of a pet, you are not alone and we understand. Give us a call we have sessions over Zoom and work with people countrywide.

"If I die before my dog, let him see my body.
He understands death, if he feels my death he can cry for me.
If he doesn't see me again he will think I abandoned him and he will continue waiting for my return.
If I die before my companion, let him say goodbye to me.
"Dogs are an endless friendship, a loyal friend, a part of life and a reason to exist! "❤️🐾
Author: unknown
Artist: The Old Shepherd's Chief Mourner-Edwin Landseer 1837

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“When you remember me, it means that you have carried something of who I am with you, that I have left some mark of who I am on who you are. It means that you can summon me back to your mind even though countless years and miles may stand between us. It means that if we meet again, you will know me. It means that even after I die, you can still see my face and hear my voice and speak to me in your heart.
For as long as you remember me, I am never entirely lost.”
Frederick Buechner - Whistling in the Dark, 1988.

Karl Harald Alfred Broge (Danish, 1870-1955)

Seven Ways I Parent Better After Losing My Son When my first child died it impacted the way I parented my remaining children. Here are seven things I did as I parented in a time of loss.

Grief. Kids hold a tremendous amount of it and they are the last to be noticed in it.

Unresolved and unaddressed grief is a leading cause of depression, su***de, use of alcohol, addiction, violence and acting out behaviors.

Most adults don't have the right tools or info about moving through the grief process in a healthy way and they certainly can't teach the children in their lives when they don't know themselves.

We offer a 4 session program for parents, teachers and guardians to help learn how to best support children of all ages through grief. Learn what to say, how to help them surf those difficult emotions, how to anticipate their rough points and give them healthy actions they can take to deal with the numerous losses they will inevitably encounter during their lives.

Are you a grandparent, parent, teacher, or leader of children? Then call and sign up now for this 4 session instruction for Helping Children With Loss. We begin an online Zoom group workshop in January meeting once a week for 4 weeks - Reserve your spot today! - 509-480-0945

It's truly one of the best gifts you can give all the children in your life. ❤️

This starts my 22nd year of teaching middle school. Yesterday was quite possibly one of the most impactful days I have ever had.
I tried a new activity called “The Baggage Activity”. I asked the kids what it meant to have baggage and they mostly said it was hurtful stuff you carry around on your shoulders.
I asked them to write down on a piece of paper what was bothering them, what was heavy on their heart, what was hurting them, etc. No names were to be on a paper. They wadded the paper up, and threw it across the room.
They picked up a piece of paper and took turns reading out loud what their classmate wrote. After a student read a paper, I asked who wrote that, and if they cared to share.
I’m here to tell you, I have never been so moved to tears as what these kids opened up and about and shared with the class.
Things like su***de, parents in prison, drugs in their family, being left by their parents, death, cancer, losing pets (one said their gerbil died cause it was fat, we giggled😁) and on and on.
The kids who read the papers would cry because what they were reading was tough. The person who shared (if they chose to tell us it was them) would cry sometimes too. It was an emotionally draining day, but I firmly believe my kids will judge a little less, love a little more, and forgive a little faster.
This bag hangs by my door to remind them that we all have baggage. We will leave it at the door. As they left I told them, they are not alone, they are loved, and we have each other’s back.
I am honored to be their teacher.
Credit: Karen Wunderlich Loewe

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❤️❤️❤️ Nikita Gill ❤️❤️❤️

First year after loss, the holidays can be rough. Here are some good strategies.

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Your life, your actions, make a difference.
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How a weekly breakfast at grandma's helped students heal from the grief of losing a classmate Every Wednesday, students converge on a tiny house in St. Louis for their weekly breakfast club, hosted by 66-year-old Peggy Winckowski.

Stand up. Or ask for help standing up.

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My mother very kindly bought my 7-year-old daughter and me season passes to a local water park last year. We had only been a handful of times while temperatures soared above 100°, but decided to take advantage of a slow day at the park one Friday morning. Most other kids were back in school and the temperatures had finally dropped a bit, so we swam for hours, fueled by soft pretzels and Hi-C.

One of the places we spent the most time was the wave pool. I’d squat down to my daughter’s height in the water and together, we’d jump with and into the waves, over and over again.

After a while, she noticed one area of the pool where the waves were crashing down harder and insisted I pull her to that spot while she floated there in a Superman pose. 🤦‍♀️😂

Once we arrived, though, the waves were a LOT. They were crashing down, getting into our eyes and noses and just generally beating us up. At one point, my daughter received an especially big splash in the face and seemed a little shaken up. We were far from the wave pool exit, so I grabbed her by her life jacket and lifted her up and down with the waves while she recovered.

While I was lifting and lowering her, *I* was getting beat up…slapped in the face by waves, nearly pushed over several times. I was feeling frustrated when I suddenly remembered…why was I still squatting down in the water?! I immediately stood up and realized at my full height, the waves were annoying but manageable.

It turned out that after squatting and floating on my knees for nearly an hour, I was so accustomed to it that I forgot I was a full-size adult. I shrugged in stupid amazement as I told my daughter, “Hey! I just remembered I’m tall!” and we both cracked up laughing.

But friend…how easily do we forget who we are? We often spend so much time surrounded by drama or small minds or angry words or pettiness or whatever…that we forget we’re bigger than that, that we can just…stand up!

Stand up and save your friends and family from that mess. Or just stand up and leave it altogether. But whatever you do, don’t allow those negative surroundings to slap you in the face or push you over or try to drown you. Don’t allow them to bring you down to their level.

Instead friend, remind yourself of who you are, who you were created to be, your purpose, your value, your birthright. Your own two legs.

Stand up. Because the waves aren’t stopping any time soon.

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The little girl in this photograph is Ruby Crane.....from the age of 3 years old Ruby walked blinded soldiers around a rehabilitation centre called St Dunstans at Brighton in Sussex, where Rubys Father was the head gardener....she knew they were blinded and just returned from the first World War.....wandering in the grounds she would take ahold their hand and ask them where they wanted to go ( individual workshops ) and guide them there....people were so affected by little Ruby walking the blind soldiers around they would send her dolls and toys as a thank you for all the support she was giving to the men and women affected by sight loss.....little Ruby was rewarded with a long life as she passed away in her late nineties, in 2011.
Ruby recalled..... " I always remember how my little hand seemed so small in their big hands....they were so pleased to have a child come and talk to them....it was something different away from the monotonous grind of not being able to see things, I think. "
Ruby was so popular that she featured on the front page of the St Dunstans first Annual Report for 1915/1916 and later Flag Day emblems incorporated a similar design that featured Little Ruby.

Evaline Brueton Consulting Historian:- Remembering brave children season

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Why people call us:

"I'm worried about my mom. I don't think she's processing the grief of her recent losses of family members, she's just isolating."

"I'm looking for help with supporting my grieving 12 year old son."

"I need help with my own grief, I don't know what to do."

"I'm still grieving the life I thought I would have."

" I need assistance for how to move forward from the grief and loss of identity."

"My husband is struggling from the loss of our daughter and I'm having difficulty feeling at all, I need a safe place to share."

"I'm looking for something that will help me learn how to cope and slowly heal from the loss of my son."

Handling all of this is our specialty.

“Everyone must leave something behind when he dies, my grandfather said. A child or a book or a painting or a house or a wall built or a pair of shoes made. Or a garden planted. Something your hand touched some way so your soul has somewhere to go when you die, and when people look at that tree or that flower you planted, you're there.
It doesn't matter what you do, he said, so long as you change something from the way it was before you touched it into something that's like you after you take your hands away. The difference between the man who just cuts lawns and a real gardener is in the touching, he said. The lawn-cutter might just as well not have been there at all; the gardener will be there a lifetime.”
Ray Bradbury - Fahrenheit 451, 1953.

Timothy Barr - Raking Light, 2019.

This is for all the awesome dads out there who never quit because you've made the 'DAD PACT' to take care of your family. 💪🙌

❤️❤️❤️ (Twitter )

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A must read:

Viktor Frankl, one of the great psychiatrists of the twentieth century, survived the death camps of N**i Germany. His little book, Man’s Search for Meaning, is one of those life-changing books that everyone should read.

Frankl once told the story of a woman who called him in the middle of the night to calmly inform him she was about to commit su***de. Frankl kept her on the phone and talked her through her depression, giving her reason after reason to carry on living. Finally she promised she would not take her life, and she kept her word.

When they later met, Frankl asked which reason had persuaded her to live?

"None of them", she told him.

What then influenced her to go on living, he pressed?

Her answer was simple, it was Frankl’s willingness to listen to her in the middle of the night. A world in which there was someone ready to listen to another's pain seemed to her a world in which it was worthwhile to live.

Often, it is not the brilliant argument that makes the difference. Sometimes the small act of listening is the greatest gift we can give.

◆ PS ◆

You're your own life manager.
You can't fire yourself,
but you can do a better job.