Mother Down Under - Hypnobirthing Australia and Postnatal Specialist

Have you been told that you can't prepare for parenthood? LIES!

It is like birth...true, you can't micromanage your experience, but that doesn't mean that you shouldn't educate yourself and have an understanding of what you can control.
Because, like birth, there are MANY aspects of parenthood that you can (and should) prepare for!

- a plan for how you and your partner will manage sleep deprivation
- how do you want to feed your baby
- how are you and your partner going to manage to feed yourselves (UberEats is not sustainable...nor is eating Weetbix every night)
- what is your budget going to look like if you or your partner has time off work
- who is going to do the household jobs (cleaning, laundry, mowing the lawn, walking the dog)
- what are your thoughts on visitors
- do you need to put any boundaries in place before welcoming visitors into your home
- how are you going to navigate changes to your relationships with your partner, family, and friends

There is A LOT to think about!
And once you have your baby, your ability to think rationally and to problem solve goes out the window (baby brain is real).
Don't wait and wing it!
I cannot tell you how many mothers tell me that they wished they had prepared for postpartum in the same way they prepared for birth!

Just like no one can give you a crystal ball to tell you exactly when labour is going to happen and how it is going to go, no one can give you a parenting manual specifically written for your baby...but you can head into parenthood with information and tools to make your transition so much smoother!

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With publicly funded home birth now available on the Sunshine Coast (come on, Brisbane), I thought I would do some home birth myth busting.

I had a home birth with my second baby and I felt very comfortable and confident in my decision to have my baby at home.
And after I had given birth, when I was reclining on my couch with my first born tucked up next to me and my second born at my breast, when my husband was making me a coffee just the way I like it, when one midwife was tending to me and cooing over my babies and the other one was cleaning up, I thought, this is how it is supposed to be.

What assumptions do you have about home birth?
Any questions that I can help with?

And to ward off nasty comments, I am not saying that home birth needs to be for everyone!
I am pleased that is it closer to being an option for all of those women who want it, but I understand that even with home birth available, many women would still prefer to birth in a hospital or birth centre.
I am all about making the choices that are best for you as an individual!

Who is hypnobirthing for?
It is for EVERYONE!

My most recent class was actually all first time mothers (although there was a second time dad) but that is not always the case!
A few mothers had private OBs, some were in midwifery models of care, one had a private midwife, one had added a doula to her birth support team.
There was one mother with a breech baby, two of "advanced maternal age", one with a low lying placenta.
One mom who was 37 weeks and one who was 22 weeks.
At the start of the class a few were feeling very anxious about birth while one was really excited about labour.

What they all have in common is
- they are at least curious about the possibility of a physiological birth and want to see where following that curiosity takes them
- they also want to be prepared for all outcomes
- they want to know more about the actual process of birth than they already know
- they want to know all their options and feel confident they will make informed decisions
- they are hoping to use non pharmacological pain relief tools but want to know how to make pharmacological pain relief work for them should they need or want it
- they want their partner to be as educated as they are and to be involved and supportive
- they want techniques to help calm their nervous system (both in pregnancy and in labour...and especially if things aren't going according to plan)
- they know that what happens in birth doesn't stay in birth but that it will impact their postpartum journey, and they want to set themselves up for parenting success

Does that sound like you?
If you want to know if hypnobirthing is right for you, send me a DM or head to my website to book in for a free chat.

However it happens, birth will change you.
That is why birth matters.
After birth your will never be the same person you were before birth.
Part of that is because now you have a baby.
But part of that is because birth itself is transformational.
And I don't mean this is a woo woo way...you will never forget how you feel when you are giving birth.

We are taught to fear birth and to feel fearful during birth.
But what if you are taught about the power of birth and to feel powerful when you are giving birth?

In my classes I don't shy away from the scary stuff...I talk about pain, the loss of control, tearing, interventions, your pelvic floor!
But I talk about those things in a gentle, understanding way (I have been there - I have been pregnant and afraid of birth).

And I also talk about the amazing stuff...your hormones, tools to help you cope, making decisions, connecting with your partner.

Even if you are feeling apprehensive or afraid now, by the end of class you will be doing an happy dance because you are so excited for birth!
Book in and go from, "I don't think I can do this," to "I can't wait to do this!"

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It is actually REALLY important to rest as much as you can after having a baby, particularly in that early postpartum period.
Your body is still doing a lot of work!
Resting helps your body to recover from birth and it helps to minimise postpartum depletion (a multi system deficiency that most women experience).

Everyone knows the old adage, sleep when the baby sleeps.
And, in theory, it seems very doable.
But, in practice? Not so much?

Here are a few practical ideas that may help you rest during postpartum.

One of the main problems with most models of maternity care is there there isn't time to talk!
With ten or so 15 minute appointments, usually with a different person each time, often taking a cookie cutter approach (at this week we discuss this, at this week we discuss that), there simply isn't enough time to create the emotional safety needed to discuss what is on your mind, to share how you are really feeling about your experience, to ask those questions that feel slightly embarrassing, or to talk about what decisions are coming up and what your choices are.

My one one one sessions aren't meant to replace your antenatal appointments (I don't offer any clinical advice), they are intended to provide what your antenatal appointments can't.

Someone allowing you to process your thoughts out loud.
Someone listening, digging deeper, gently challenging you so you feel confident in your instincts and in your plan.
Someone asking the questions you need to hear and supporting you to work out what you need to feel safe.

Women (and their partners) book one on one sessions for a variety of reasons. Recently I have had couples book a session to
- discuss models of care and understand which model is going to give them the continuity the want
- to talk about "advanced maternal age", birth options, and what each pathway may look like
- a mother having her fourth baby who wanted to work on her mindset for birth as well as some postpartum strategies
- a mother (who is also a midwife) having her second baby who wanted to review some hands on tools with her partner.

I know that talking sounds simple.
But just because something is simple doesn't mean that it isn't effective!
And after we chat, I send you a summary of what we discussed as well as any resources that might be helpful for you.

If your antenatal appointments are leaving you feeling underwhelmed - that your questions aren't being answered and you aren't being told what you need to know, let's set up a time to talk!

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Let's talk about pain.
I posted a story yesterday about how we feel when our bodies are working hard (like when we play sport for example) and how we DON'T label that as pain.
So how come in LABOUR, when we get that same feeling because our bodies are working hard, we DO label it as pain?

It is because we are told our whole lives that labour is painful.
We wouldn't head out for a run expecting the entire thing to be excruciating...but we go into labour EXPECTING pain.

Now, pain IS a normal part of labour. BUT, when you experience pain in labour, it is NOT a signal that anything is wrong, it is simply a sign that your body is working hard to birth your baby.

You can experience pain in labour and still remain very calm and in control.
The problem lies when pain becomes SUFFERING.

Suffering is a psychological interpretation of pain.
It is NOT a normal part of labour.
Suffering could include feeling fear, helplessness, overwhelm, panic.
Suffering can be influenced by things like your inner thoughts, environment, inadequate support, treatment from your care providers, previous trauma.

The good news is that you can have pain WITHOUT suffering.
How do you do that?
Like I said, most of us EXPECT labour to be painful and yet we do NOTHING to prepare ourselves to cope with the intensity of the contractions.
So the answer really lies in education.

- When you know how your body works and what is happening throughout labour, you will understand the functional purpose of the pain.
- Mindset work to reframe the pain is important too...think of other times in your life when you have pushed your body, how did you convince yourself you were safe and could keep going?
- Using various hypnobirthing tools throughout your pregnancy so you are confident they will help you cope.
- Being informed about your pharmacological pain relief options is important too.

Essentially, you want to understand the pain and have tools that enable you to work WITH it, NOT fight it.
If you try to battle the pain, you will end up suffering.

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Setting boundaries in birth is not selfish.
It is about prioritising your wellbeing - creating an environment that feels empowering and safe.
Plus it is good practice for postpartum and for parenting!

You only get one opportunity to birth this baby...this experience should be all about you and everyone involved in your birth should recognise and respect that.
Boundaries help you communicate this.

Did you set any birth boundaries?
Do you wish you had?

I often feel like I have to walk a fine line between being honest about what you are up against (which is one in three women experiencing birth trauma) and being encouraging about what you are capable of (which is a birth that changes your life in the best possible way).

I don't want to come across as harsh, but in order to try avoid birth trauma, you need to worry LESS about the things and MORE about the experience.

Mothers-to-be spend so much time researching things that don't matter and not enough time educating themselves about things that do (I know because I did exactly this when I was pregnant with my first).
Your future self is not going to care about your baby's nursery.
But your future self is going to care about your birth experience.

I want you to have a birth experience that lights you up, shows you how powerful you are, allows you to start your parenting journey from a place of excitement and pride (not from a place of trauma and regret).
And that starts with learning everything that you need to know to set yourself up for a positive birth.

Your OB or midwife aren't going to provide you with thorough and nuanced education...but I can!
So tonight, instead of researching prams (again), check out my hypnobirthing classes.
Let's do this!

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A common reason for intervention is because of failure to progress.
Sometimes medical intervention is necessary, but it is important to be informed about the process of labour and to have your own problem-solving tools!
If your labour is not progressing, here are a few simple things that might help to get it back on track!

One – Environment
• Remove stress. In order to labour well, you need to feel safe. If you can, aim to remove stressful things (or more commonly, stressful people).
• Dim the lights.
• Make the space your own! When you are in the birth suite, you can do whatever you need to do (within reason) to feel comfortable in that space.

Two – Oxytocin
• Oxytocin is the hormone of love...it is also the hormone that drives labour. It is inhibited when we feel anxious or stressed. It is stimulated when we feel calm and connected.
• Hug your partner, slow dance with them, have them give you some light touch massage.
• Acupressure, ni**le stimulation, clary sage, and water immersion can also help.

Three – Eat and Drink
• It's not called labour for nothing...it can be hard work! Eating and drinking will ensure your uterine muscles have what they need to get the job done.
• You won't necessarily be hungry though so make sure you have some simple snacks on hand.
• You probably want to consider fluids with some nutritional value...coconut water, juice, Powerade.
• And remember to go to the toilet! Having a full bladder can prevent your baby from moving through the pelvis. Toilet sitting is also great for releasing your pelvic floor.

Four – Movement
• To ensure optimal pelvic mobility, you need to move your body! Even if you are restricted to the bed, you still want to move into different positions.
• Ask for equipment like floor mats, exercise balls, peanut balls, beanbags, CUBs, squat bars to facilitate movement.
• Remember active in birth is relative! You don't have to move much to create space.

Remember it is NORMAL to have restful phases of labour - so another completely valid option is to REST!

Take control of your birth by preparing with The Positive Birth Program.

It's true that there are aspects of birth that you can't control.
But there are aspects that you can control...and your preparation is one of them.
And by preparation I mean more than saving a bunch of IG reels, more than listening to podcasts, more that scrolling through FB due date groups.

The Positive Birth Program provides more than surface level, quick fix information...it will totally transform your outlook on birth!

It is about providing you with information so if you are thrown a curveball late in pregnancy, you know what your options are.
It is about providing you and your partner with tools so when birth takes you to the edge you are ready and you feel safe enough to surrender to the sensations.
It is about providing you with nuanced and individualised birth planning (and a run sheet for your partner as well).
It is about providing you with education so if your birth takes some twists and turns (and most do) you will still emerge feeling proud of yourself.

Your birth will change you.
You want birth preparation that ensures your birth will change you for the better.
Check out upcoming classes today.
It's time to take control of your birth!

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I am glad I had my babies when I did...my eldest is 13 and my youngest is 9.
There was so much less stuff and less exposure to differing opinions, and I think because of that, there was less pressure.

Maybe it is just me looking at the past through rose coloured glasses, but when my babies were actually babies a swaddle was a square of muslin and the only white noise machine was the vacuum cleaner!

There were no apps to track what my baby was doing (or not doing), there were no video monitors, there were no auto-rocking cribs or prams.
There were no influencers, social media wasn't sophisticated enough to prey on my new mother insecurities and market endless gadgets and gizmos that would help my baby to sleep more or to increase my supply.

I didn't have access to an entire world of information (and judgement) about the best way to mother my baby.
There were certainly challenges...but because there wasn't as much constant marketing messaging around me, the message I got was that I had the answers and could figure it out.

Or maybe it was just because online shopping also wasn't as easy as it is today!
I'm sure if Amazon was around when I was in that immediate postpartum time, I would have bought all of the things!

Was it a simpler time.
And perhaps a less stressful time?
What do you think?

Did you know that I have a monthly newsletter?
It is basically all the chat that I don't want to share on social media!
Plus once upon a time, I was a blogger and I still like writing pieces that are longer than social media captions!

Some aspects of the newsletter are different every month but some bits are the same.
You will always get a tip of the month and a few feel good links that I think you'll love.

I promise I won't spam you - one a month is all I can manage!
Do you want in?

The next one will be sent on 1 August...and the general theme is the best of parenthood and the worst of parenthood.
You can sign up via the link in my bio.

I know that you want better.
Better than routine care.
Better than what the system typically delivers.
Better than the 1/3 birth trauma rates.
Better than what you may feel "allowed" to ask for,

It may sound harsh, but the truth is that women need support and guidance outside of the system if they want to have a "better" birth.
And that is why I am here, teaching The Positive Birth Program...so you can head into birth feeling educated, empowered, and excited!

I know that you know that you need to take action to get that "better" birth that you deserve.
So consider this post a gentle nudge...listen to you inner voice and book into the course that will change your life in the very best way!

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The toilet is the most under recognised labour tool!

Yes, doulas are fab.
Yes, water immersion solves most problems.
But have you tried the toilet?

Toilets are everywhere…home and hospital.
Emptying your bladder regularly is important…having a full bladder is irritating and can prevent your baby from moving down.
Sitting on the toilet puts you in a supported squat position…your pelvis will open while allowing your leg muscles to loosen and relax.
You need to release your pelvic floor…when we sit on a toilet, we naturally relax our pelvic floor.
Toilets are private…feeling secure and like we aren’t going to be disturbed helps labour to progress.
Plus you can use the toilet to help birth your placenta!

So, enjoy a rest on that porcelain throne…better yet cuddle your partner while sitting on the toilet and you get a physical break, emotional support, and oxytocin!

Did you utilise the toilet as a labour tool?

I am glad that birth education has become the norm...I feel like I no longer need to convince women that they need to prepare for birth (if you aren't convinced, I invite you to scroll through the 4,000 plus posts on my feed...ha).
Now it is about convincing women that they need to prepare for postpartum!

There is literally an entire life that happens after birth.
Your baby's, sure.
But yours too! You become a mother.
Which for most of us feels like a pivitol moment in our existence. And not just in an existential sense...you are physiologically a different person after birth than you were before.

Your postpartum WILL BE overwhelming.
If you choose to wait and wing it, it can be overwhelming in a stressful way.
If you prepare for it, it can be filled with overwhelming support and love.

A postpartum planning session can ensure that your postpartum feels good - no stress, all support.

Do you feel like you go along to your antenatal appointments but you aren't getting answers to your questions?
Or do you feel like you don't even know what questions to ask?
That is how I felt when I was pregnant.
And it made me feel really overwhelmed and like I wasn't in control of this experience at all...and that made me feel really uncomfortable.
I felt like there was a lot that I wasn't being told.

Women will often book a one on one session for a birth debrief and when they are recounting their experience, they will ask, "Why did no one tell me what the implications were?"
Unfortunately the answer is usually because the system is not set up to be transparent. You have to specifically ask about options and about outcomes.

More and more women are booking in for one on one sessions early in their pregnancies and I think this is fabulous!
Because every decision we make in pregnancy has an implication...including where you give birth and who supports you.
If you have questions about models of care, what to really expect of your antenatal appointments, options around routine testing, navigating the system (and yes the system needs to be navigated throughout pregnancy, not just during birth), knowing your rights, support with decision making...I would highly recommend booking a one on one session to gain some clarity.

And if you are already on a pathway, these discussions will still help. You can look back over your pregnancy so far with a critical eye...and make any necessary changes going forward.

If you feel like no one is telling you, book in for a session and let me tell you!
I am very open and honest and non-judgemental.
My only aim is for you to feel confident in UNDERSTANDING what YOU want from your birth experience and confident about ASKING for what you want!

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We know that fear before birth and especially fear during birth has a negative impact on your labour experience.
But what can you do about it?
Burying your head in the sand isn't going to help!
You need to acknowledge and address your fears!

- Explore your birth philosophy. What are your beliefs about birth? Where do they stem from?

- Understand physiological birth. Before you make any big decisions about what you want from your birth, understand how birth works (and what can cause birth to not work).

- Choose a care provider who is supportive of the birth that you want and who makes you feel comfortable and safe.

- Take an independent antenatal class (hospital courses often instil more fears than they release).

- Learn and utilise tools that will improve your mindset. Banish as many fears as you can. Replace them with positive beliefs. But also know that you don't need to be free of all fears heading into birth. It more about understanding WHAT you are fearful of than ridding yourself of all worries.

- Have techniques for labour that will help keep you feeling calm and relaxed. You want to keep stress and adrenaline out. Good vibes only!

Are you feeling fearful of birth?
Anything I can help you with?

Get off the conveyor belt of systemic care! Don't go with the systemic flow!
Join me for a group class to ensure that you get to birth YOUR baby, YOUR way!

The systemic flow generally involves blindly doing what you are told, crossing your fingers, and hoping for the best.
But what the system thinks is the best is usually not what is actually the best for birth...or the best for you or the best for your baby.
Going with the systemic flow often leads to something called the cascade of interventions - interfering with birth once makes further intervention much more necessary.
And when this has occurred, women are much more likely to emerge from birth wondering what on earth happened and how did they end up so far from the birth they were hoping for.

Then there the birth flow.
This involves putting your needs first.
When you are working with birth, you are surrendering to the unknowns of labour, but you understand your body, you trust yourself, you know you can lean into your support team, and that interventions are available if you want or need them.

Setting yourself up for that second kind of flow is much more difficult...but it is worth it. And I can help.
You only get once chance to birth your baby.
Let's get started!

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Something I feel very strongly about is not just providing support DURING class. I want you to feel really seen and heard BEFORE and AFTER class too.

Here is how I make sure that happens.

1. I try to get to know you and your partner before we meet.
Certainly the basics like when you are "due" and where you are planning on having the baby but also things like what aspects of birth (or beyond) are you apprehensive about and what are you hoping to get out of the course.
I also want to make sure that you feel comfortable with me so I share my birth and postpartum stories and the lessons I have learned more than a decade of parenting and teaching!

2. I encourage questions!
I promise you there isn't a concern, dilemma, or fear that I haven't encountered before!
I could honestly talk about birth and postpartum all day and I like to think that I am really good at explaining potentially complex situations in a practical and easy to understand way (no medical jargon or references to policies and guidelines).
And hypnobirthing is a judgement free zone...it is your birth, not mine.

3. It is all about you!
My entire focus is on individualisation...understanding what YOUR version of a positive birth is and moving you from a system driven care pathway to a personalised care pathway.
You will soon come to learn (if you haven't already) that everyone has an opinion on what you should be doing, but the only opinion I am interested in, is yours.
Together we work out what feels right for you and what you can do to have and birth and postpartum that you feel good about.
I am not going to tell you what to do...it isn't about what you should do, but what you COULD do. I'll provide you with options, resources, guidance. But the final decision is entirely up to you...and by the end of the course you and your partner will feel fully confident that you can make the decisions that are best for you.

Whether you join me for a group class, an online course, or a one off session, I promise you will feel at ease and at home.
Mother Down Under is about having a positive birth and a positive postpartum but it is also about being a part of a really positive community.

What are the first forty days? And why are they so important?

The first forty days refers to that immediate postpartum period - a stage that we should honour as an essential time of resting and bonding with our baby but which we instead rush through in our efforts to bounce back.

The first forty days are critical to a new mother's current and future physical and emotional wellbeing.
Pregnancy, birth, and breastfeeding are incredibly taxing on our bodies. And if we don't allow ourselves the time to heal and recuperate, we will likely experience exhaustion and postpartum depletion.

What can you do to prioritise a positive postpartum?

1. Embrace being horizontal. You want to be as horizontal as you can as much as you can! This promotes rest and alleviates gravity's impact on stretched structures - both are necessary for effective recovery. Learning how to breastfeed in a side lying position can be a game changer!

2. Sleep! I know everyone rolls their eyes at the old adage sleep when the baby sleeps. But seriously, sleep when your baby sleeps. You can do the tidying up and laundry once you and your baby have had a rest - just put your baby in a carrier and carry on!

3. Food. Really any food is fine...as long as it is not prepared by you! Your focus should be on feeding your baby. Rely on others (or a meal delivery service) to feed yourself.

4. Establish boundaries. It is admittedly hard to figure out how to ask for help while maintaining boundaries. But being able to do so is a skill that is necessary well beyond the first forty days. Allow your family and friends to assist with household chores and to feed you so you can focus on resting and on bonding with your baby. But know that just because they are helping you, doesn't need that you need to heed their advice.

5. Self-care. Prioritising your recovery IS self care! You don't need to add anything else to your list. But if you feel like you need some TLC, think about simple activities that make you feel relaxed and bring you joy.

What was the best thing that you did for your postpartum recovery?

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I LOVE when women contact me before they are pregnant or when they are just pregnant to talk about their options.

BEFORE you choose a care provider, I encourage you to have a think about WHAT YOU WANT FOR YOUR BIRTH?
When you picture your ideal birth, what does it look like? Do you imagine a baby coming out of your vaginal? Do you imagine a caesarean? What feels right for you?

It is SO IMPORTANT to have a firm understanding of what YOU want BEFORE you engage a care provider.
We know from research that care provider actions and interactions have a MAJOR IMPACT on HOW a woman experiences her birth and that women need to be supported to choose the model of care that is best suited to their individual values and needs.
You want to find a care provider who supports the kind of birth experience that YOU want.
If you end up in a relationship that is a mismatch, everything will feel like a FIGHT - you will want one thing, your care provider be advocating for something else.
It will not feel like a supportive and safe care. And supportive and safe care is one of the cornerstones of a positive birth.

I know it can feel hard to know what you want when it is your first birth and you don't really know what your options are.
But your first birth is NOT a trial run...it absolutely impacts your subsequent experiences.
NINETY PERCENT of women aren't satisfied with their first birth experience and would make different choices if they have another baby.

From the very beginning, you deserve care that is aligned with your values, your birth preferences, and your vision of your ideal birth.

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