DIPAC & Assoc

In the context of marital and long-term relationships, the establishment of clear and healthy boundaries is paramount. These boundaries serve as foundational elements that help sustain trust, mutual respect, and effective communication between partners. Though the specific boundaries may vary based on the unique needs and expectations of each couple, there are several common types that typically warrant discussion. Below is a breakdown of key areas where boundaries are often needed:

1. Emotional Boundaries

Emotional boundaries pertain to the way partners manage and express their feelings within the relationship. This includes:

Open and honest communication of emotions.

Mutual understanding of how to support one another during challenging times.

Addressing how to navigate feelings of jealousy or insecurity.

2. Communication Boundaries

These boundaries are essential for fostering respectful and effective dialogue between partners. They involve:

"BOUNDARIES" What's all the BUZZ about? In the context of marital and long-term relationships, the establishment of clear and healthy boundaries is paramount. These boundaries serve as foundational elements that help sustain trust, mutual respect, and effective communication between partners.

Darleen Barton

Principal & Founder (hc) @ DIPAC Est 2009 Private Practice | Counsellor | Therapist | Accredited Mediator| Conflict Resolution |Life Business Executive Coaching People Development

September 8, 2024

Where are you most likely to experience a Narcissist Manager or a Toxic Workplace?

Narcissistic managers can be found across a variety of professions, but some fields are particularly prone to attracting individuals with these traits due to their competitive nature or the focus on personal visibility. Here’s a look at some professions where narcissistic behaviour is more commonly observed:

Corporate Management

In high-pressure corporate environments, especially at the executive level, narcissistic traits may become more evident. The intense focus on power, status, and achievement can attract individuals who seek to assert dominance and seek constant validation.

Sales and Marketing

Sales and marketing roles often emphasise personal success and visibility, making them appealing to individuals with narcissistic tendencies. Managers in these fields might prioritise their own achievements and recognition over team collaboration.

Finance and Investment Banking

The finance sector, known for its competitive and high-stakes environment, can sometimes attract narcissistic personalities. Managers here may exhibit behaviours aimed at showcasing their superiority and achieving personal gain.

Entertainment and Media

The entertainment industry, where personal recognition and individual performance are highly valued, can be a breeding ground for narcissistic behaviour. Managers in this sector might focus on personal acclaim and their public image.

Legal Profession

In the legal field, particularly in leadership roles or large firms, the competitive nature and emphasis on personal success can give rise to narcissistic traits. Managers may become focused on asserting their authority and gaining recognition.

Technology and Startups

The technology sector, particularly in startups where innovation and individual performance are emphasised, can attract narcissistic managers who thrive on the spotlight and seek control over their teams.

Education Administration- Principals/Teachers

In educational institutions, particularly among principals or department heads, narcissistic tendencies may surface as individuals seek to impose their authority and gain recognition for their accomplishments.

Politicians their Desire for Power and Status

Narcissists are often driven by a deep desire for power, recognition, and influence. The political arena offers a platform where they can assert their dominance, gain public acclaim, and fulfill their need for admiration.

The workplace can often be challenging, but dealing with a narcissistic manager presents a particularly complex and draining experience. Narcissistic managers exhibit behaviours and characteristics that can significantly affect team dynamics and individual morale. Here’s how to identify a narcissistic manager, manage the situation, and understand the roles of HR and when to seek external help.

Identifying a Narcissistic Manager

Excessive Self-Importance: A narcissistic manager has an inflated sense of their own importance. They may constantly seek admiration and attention, believing they are superior and deserving of special treatment.

Lack of Empathy: These managers often lack empathy, failing to recognise or care about their employees' feelings and needs. This insensitivity can result in dismissive or harmful behaviour.

Exploitation of Others: Narcissistic managers may exploit their employees for personal gain, delegating tasks unfairly or taking credit for others' work without acknowledgment.

Constant Need for Validation: They frequently seek validation and approval, demanding praise and recognition. They may react with hostility or defensiveness if they feel they are not receiving the attention they deserve.

Manipulative Behaviour: Such managers often use manipulation to achieve their goals, employing deceitful tactics or playing employees against each other.

Arrogance and Entitlement: An air of arrogance and entitlement is common. They may believe that rules don’t apply to them and expect others to accommodate their demands.

Difficulty with Constructive Feedback: Providing constructive feedback can be challenging, as these managers may react negatively rather than engaging in a productive dialogue.

Strategies for Dealing with a Narcissistic Manager

Set Boundaries: Establish and communicate clear boundaries to protect your well-being. Limit interactions to professional necessities and avoid engaging in excessive flattery.

Document Everything: Keep detailed records of your interactions, including instances of manipulation, exploitation, or unfair treatment. This documentation can be crucial for formal interventions. Document: Day- Time- Details

Maintain Professionalism: Strive to maintain professionalism despite the challenges. Focus on your responsibilities and avoid getting drawn into conflicts or validation-seeking behaviour.

Seek Support from HR: If the manager’s behaviour impacts your job performance or mental health, seek support from your HR department. HR can provide guidance, mediate conflicts, and address issues through formal channels.

Focus on Your Work: Concentrate on excelling in your responsibilities. By demonstrating your value through your work, you can minimise the impact of the manager’s behaviour.

Practice Self-Care: Engage in stress-relief activities and maintain a healthy work-life balance to protect your mental and emotional health. A counsellor can provide a safe space to discuss your experiences and help you strategise your path forward.

Consider Your Options: If the environment remains untenable, explore other job opportunities. A healthier work environment might be necessary for your long-term satisfaction and well-being.

The Role of HR in Conflict Resolution

Mediation and Facilitation: HR can act as a mediator between you and the narcissistic manager, facilitating conversations to address conflicts and misunderstandings. However, you may exercise your right to have an external mediator, if you feel there is a conflict of interest.

Investigation: HR is responsible for investigating claims of inappropriate behaviour, such as manipulation or exploitation, to determine if company policies have been violated.

Policy Enforcement: HR enforces workplace policies and ensures that any actions taken are in line with company guidelines and legal requirements.

Support and Resources: HR provides resources and support for affected employees, including counselling services, training on conflict resolution, and advice on navigating challenging workplace dynamics.

Documentation: HR maintains records of complaints and resolutions, which can be important if the situation escalates or if formal actions are needed.

When to Seek an Independent Counsellor or Mediator

Continued Impact on Well-Being: If you find that the situation is affecting your mental health despite efforts to manage it, seeking an independent counsellor can provide additional support and strategies for coping.

Escalated Conflict: If conflicts with the narcissistic manager escalate beyond what HR can handle, an independent mediator can help resolve disputes more effectively and impartially.

Impartial Perspective: An external mediator or counsellor offers an impartial perspective that can help you understand the dynamics of the situation and explore additional solutions.

Confidential Support: Independent counsellors provide a confidential space to discuss your feelings and strategies, offering support beyond what might be available within the workplace.

Legal or Career Advice: If you need guidance on legal implications or career decisions related to the toxic environment, an external advisor or counsellor can provide expert advice tailored to your situation or refer you to someone who can help

Dealing with a narcissistic manager requires a multifaceted approach. By recognising the signs of narcissism, utilising the support of HR, and seeking external help when necessary, you can better navigate the complexities of a toxic work environment and protect your own professional and personal well-being.

Please book all appointment here: Counselling Therapy Mediation Online & F2F in Australia | DIPAC

Private Health Rebates are Available

After Pay

Kindest Regards

Darleen Barton h.c | Amazon NO 1 Best Selling Author 2010

Practitioner

Brochure and Testimonials - https://tinyurl.com/u9xwmj9z

Address Servcorp offices- Level 1 The Realm, 18 National Circuit, Barton ACT 2600

Phone 0261983423

Website www.dipac.com.au

Mediator Nationally Accredited | NMAS | AIFLAM | AMA|

Facilitator Family Group Conferencing \ Practitioner \ Mediation Institute

Counsellor/ Therapist / Positive Psychology- Nationally Accredited |ACA|IICT

Family Systems Mediation Marriage Counselling (h.c)

Executive/ Life/ Business Coach Nationally Accredited

If at any time you, a family member or friend feels overwhelmed to the point they feel they need help call immediately 000 OR 131114

There is always a way through your current thoughts.

https://www.beyondblue.org.au/get-support/get-immediate-support

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Objective: To bring education for those who need guidance

Growing up with a parent who has unmanaged Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) can have profound and lasting effects on an individual's personality, fears, and behaviours. The emotional instability, unpredictability, and often manipulative behaviours of a parent with unmanaged BPD create an environment of confusion, fear, and emotional turbulence for the child. Below are common emotional and behavioural outcomes for children raised in this type of environment:

1. Low Self-Esteem and Self-Doubt

Why? Parents with BPD may be highly critical, controlling, or emotionally inconsistent, causing their children to constantly question their worth. Growing up in such an environment often leads to a sense of inadequacy.

Traits/Fears: Insecurity, fear of rejection, and a constant need for external validation.

2. People-Pleasing Behaviour

Why? Children may learn to prioritise the needs of their BPD parent over their own in order to avoid conflict or gain approval. This survival mechanism can become ingrained over time.

Traits/Fears: Difficulty setting boundaries, fear of abandonment, and suppression of personal needs and desires.

3. Fear of Conflict or Confrontation...

Growing Up With a Parent Who Has Unmanaged Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) and How it May Have Effecting You and Your Relationships Objective: To bring education for those who need guidance Growing up with a parent who has unmanaged Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) can have profound and lasting effects on an individual's personality, fears, and behaviours. The emotional instability, unpredictability, and often manipulative

What kind of man are you becoming?

Principal & Founder Hon Doc @ DIPAC Est 2009 Private Practice | Counselling Therapist | Accredited Mediator| Conflict Resolution |Life Business Executive Coaching People Development

September 2, 2024
To To become a better man requires dedication and self-awareness. Being part of a relationship and a family demands the best version of oneself.

Yet, some men do not recognise that they have outgrown their teenage years or rebellious childhood and persist in causing turmoil within their families. They alter the nature of their children's upbringing and shatter their partner's dreams of nurturing a peaceful and happy family.

What kind of man are you becoming?

Men here are seven (7) tips to help you improve you, your relationship and contribute positively to your family.

1. Build Trust and Connection
Trust is the foundation of any strong relationship. It's essential to foster an environment where both partners feel seen, heard, and accepted. This means being honest and reliable, and working together to ensure that each person feels emotionally secure.
2. Embrace Diverse Forms of Intimacy
Intimacy isn't just about physical closeness. It also includes verbal expressions of love and appreciation, as well as thoughtful actions that show you care. By recognising and nurturing various forms of intimacy, you deepen your connection and keep the relationship vibrant.
3. Respect Independence
In a healthy relationship, it's crucial to respect each other's need for independence. This includes allowing each other space to make personal decisions and pursue individual interests. Supporting each other’s autonomy helps maintain a balanced and fulfilling partnership.
4. Create a Safe Space for Communication
Effective communication involves more than just talking; it’s about creating a safe environment where both partners can openly discuss problems, doubts, and fears without fear of rejection or punishment. It’s also important to remember that listening to your partner’s issues doesn’t necessarily mean you need to solve them—sometimes, just being present is enough.
5. Be Willing to Mediate Differences
Conflict is a natural part of any relationship, and it’s important to approach disagreements with respect and a willingness to compromise. Understand that you won’t always get your way and be open to finding solutions that work for both partners.
6. Acknowledge Personal Baggage
We all bring personal issues or ‘baggage’ into our relationships. Being aware of these and taking responsibility for them is crucial for maintaining a healthy relationship. It’s also important to assess the expectations you have for your partner and ensure they are realistic.
7. Prioritise Personal Time
Taking time for yourself is essential for recharging and maintaining balance. Regular personal time allows you to return to the relationship with a fresh perspective and renewed energy, contributing positively to both your well-being and your relationship.

The Role of Self-Management
Self-management plays a significant role in maintaining a healthy relationship. It involves understanding and addressing your personal issues and managing your emotional and physical health. Relying on alcohol or drugs as a means of coping is not true self-management. These substances can mask problems rather than resolve them and often lead to additional issues that can strain relationships.
Drinking alcohol and taking drugs may seem like quick fixes, but they do not address the underlying issues in your life or relationship. True self-management means seeking healthy ways to cope with stress, communicating openly with your partner, and taking responsibility for your own actions and emotional state. Seeing a counselling therapist to talk through personal challenges and getting help is a personal responsibility.
In addition to practicing self-awareness and responsibility, building a supportive network of friends and engaging in activities that enrich your life are essential for maintaining a balanced perspective. This network can provide emotional support, help you navigate challenges, and offer new perspectives that contribute to personal growth.
Ultimately, becoming a better partner is about continuous effort and growth. By fostering trust, embracing different forms of intimacy, respecting independence, and prioritising open communication, you can strengthen your relationship and enhance your family life. Incorporating these practices into your daily routine, while also managing your personal well-being responsibly, will help you build a fulfilling and balanced life.

Top 7 sabotaging behaviours men exhibit leading to relationship and family breakdowns

Here is a check list of who you maybe “being” or what you maybe “doing” that is not helping you, your relationship or your family.
Men can inadvertently harm themselves, their marriages, and their families through various behaviours and choices.

Here are seven ways these destructive patterns can manifest:

1. Neglecting Communication Avoiding open and honest conversations can erode trust and understanding in a relationship. When men fail to communicate their feelings, needs, and concerns, it often leads to misunderstandings, unresolved conflicts, and emotional distance.
2. Engaging in Substance Abuse Relying on alcohol or drugs as a means of coping with stress or escaping reality can lead to severe personal and relational issues. Substance abuse often results in poor decision-making, emotional instability, and deteriorating health, which can strain marriages and family dynamics.
3. Prioritising Work Over Family When work becomes the primary focus, it can lead to neglecting family responsibilities and relationships. Excessive work hours or career ambition at the expense of quality time with loved ones can create feelings of abandonment and resentment.
4. Avoiding Emotional Vulnerability Suppressing emotions or refusing to express vulnerability can create a barrier between partners. When men are unwilling to share their emotional struggles or admit when they need support, it prevents the development of a deeper emotional connection with their partners and families.
5. Engaging in Infidelity Physically cheating, emotional affairs or watching p**n can betray trust and cause irreparable damage to a marriage. Infidelity undermines the foundation of commitment and can lead to feelings of betrayal, loss of self-esteem, and the potential breakdown of the family unit.
6. Ignoring Self-Care Neglecting personal health and well-being can have a ripple effect on relationships and family life. When men fail to prioritise self-care, including physical, mental, and emotional health, it can lead to stress, irritability, and an inability to contribute positively to family life.
7. Avoiding Responsibility Failing to take responsibility for one’s actions or decisions can undermine relationships. This includes shirking duties, not acknowledging mistakes, or blaming others for personal shortcomings. Avoiding responsibility creates a lack of accountability and can foster conflict and resentment within the family.

Please book all appointment here: Counselling Therapy Mediation Online & F2F in Australia | DIPAC
Private Health Rebates are Available
After Pay

Kindest Regards

Darleen Barton | Amazon NO 1 Best Selling Author 2010
Practitioner
Brochure and Testimonials - https://tinyurl.com/u9xwmj9z
Address Servcorp offices- Level 1 The Realm, 18 National Circuit, Barton ACT 2600
Phone 0261983423

Mediator Nationally Accredited | NMAS | AIFLAM | AMA|
Facilitator Family Group Conferencing
Counsellor/ Therapist / Positive Psychology/ Hon Doc- Nationally Accredited |ACA|IICT
Executive coach Nationally Accredited |ICF

If at any time you, a family member or friend feels overwhelmed to the point they feel they need help call immediately 000 OR 131114
There is always a way through your current thoughts.
https://www.beyondblue.org.au/get-support/get-immediate-supportbecome a better man requires dedication and self-awareness. Being part of a relationship and a family demands the best version of oneself.

Yet, some men do not recognise that they have outgrown their teenage years or rebellious childhood and persist in causing turmoil within their families. They alter the nature of their children's upbringing and shatter their partner's dreams of nurturing a peaceful and happy family.

What kind of man are you becoming?

Men here are seven (7) tips to help you improve you, your relationship and contribute positively to your family.

1. Build Trust and Connection
Trust is the foundation of any strong relationship. It's essential to foster an environment where both partners feel seen, heard, and accepted. This means being honest and reliable, and working together to ensure that each person feels emotionally secure.
2. Embrace Diverse Forms of Intimacy
Intimacy isn't just about physical closeness. It also includes verbal expressions of love and appreciation, as well as thoughtful actions that show you care. By recognising and nurturing various forms of intimacy, you deepen your connection and keep the relationship vibrant.
3. Respect Independence
In a healthy relationship, it's crucial to respect each other's need for independence. This includes allowing each other space to make personal decisions and pursue individual interests. Supporting each other’s autonomy helps maintain a balanced and fulfilling partnership.
4. Create a Safe Space for Communication
Effective communication involves more than just talking; it’s about creating a safe environment where both partners can openly discuss problems, doubts, and fears without fear of rejection or punishment. It’s also important to remember that listening to your partner’s issues doesn’t necessarily mean you need to solve them—sometimes, just being present is enough.
5. Be Willing to Mediate Differences
Conflict is a natural part of any relationship, and it’s important to approach disagreements with respect and a willingness to compromise. Understand that you won’t always get your way and be open to finding solutions that work for both partners.
6. Acknowledge Personal Baggage
We all bring personal issues or ‘baggage’ into our relationships. Being aware of these and taking responsibility for them is crucial for maintaining a healthy relationship. It’s also important to assess the expectations you have for your partner and ensure they are realistic.
7. Prioritise Personal Time
Taking time for yourself is essential for recharging and maintaining balance. Regular personal time allows you to return to the relationship with a fresh perspective and renewed energy, contributing positively to both your well-being and your relationship.

The Role of Self-Management
Self-management plays a significant role in maintaining a healthy relationship. It involves understanding and addressing your personal issues and managing your emotional and physical health. Relying on alcohol or drugs as a means of coping is not true self-management. These substances can mask problems rather than resolve them and often lead to additional issues that can strain relationships.
Drinking alcohol and taking drugs may seem like quick fixes, but they do not address the underlying issues in your life or relationship. True self-management means seeking healthy ways to cope with stress, communicating openly with your partner, and taking responsibility for your own actions and emotional state. Seeing a counselling therapist to talk through personal challenges and getting help is a personal responsibility.
In addition to practicing self-awareness and responsibility, building a supportive network of friends and engaging in activities that enrich your life are essential for maintaining a balanced perspective. This network can provide emotional support, help you navigate challenges, and offer new perspectives that contribute to personal growth.
Ultimately, becoming a better partner is about continuous effort and growth. By fostering trust, embracing different forms of intimacy, respecting independence, and prioritising open communication, you can strengthen your relationship and enhance your family life. Incorporating these practices into your daily routine, while also managing your personal well-being responsibly, will help you build a fulfilling and balanced life.

Top 7 sabotaging behaviours men exhibit leading to relationship and family breakdowns

Here is a check list of who you maybe “being” or what you maybe “doing” that is not helping you, your relationship or your family.
Men can inadvertently harm themselves, their marriages, and their families through various behaviours and choices.

Here are seven ways these destructive patterns can manifest:

1. Neglecting Communication Avoiding open and honest conversations can erode trust and understanding in a relationship. When men fail to communicate their feelings, needs, and concerns, it often leads to misunderstandings, unresolved conflicts, and emotional distance.
2. Engaging in Substance Abuse Relying on alcohol or drugs as a means of coping with stress or escaping reality can lead to severe personal and relational issues. Substance abuse often results in poor decision-making, emotional instability, and deteriorating health, which can strain marriages and family dynamics.
3. Prioritising Work Over Family When work becomes the primary focus, it can lead to neglecting family responsibilities and relationships. Excessive work hours or career ambition at the expense of quality time with loved ones can create feelings of abandonment and resentment.
4. Avoiding Emotional Vulnerability Suppressing emotions or refusing to express vulnerability can create a barrier between partners. When men are unwilling to share their emotional struggles or admit when they need support, it prevents the development of a deeper emotional connection with their partners and families.
5. Engaging in Infidelity Physically cheating, emotional affairs or watching p**n can betray trust and cause irreparable damage to a marriage. Infidelity undermines the foundation of commitment and can lead to feelings of betrayal, loss of self-esteem, and the potential breakdown of the family unit.
6. Ignoring Self-Care Neglecting personal health and well-being can have a ripple effect on relationships and family life. When men fail to prioritise self-care, including physical, mental, and emotional health, it can lead to stress, irritability, and an inability to contribute positively to family life.
7. Avoiding Responsibility Failing to take responsibility for one’s actions or decisions can undermine relationships. This includes shirking duties, not acknowledging mistakes, or blaming others for personal shortcomings. Avoiding responsibility creates a lack of accountability and can foster conflict and resentment within the family.

Please book all appointment here: Counselling Therapy Mediation Online & F2F in Australia | DIPAC
Private Health Rebates are Available
After Pay

Kindest Regards

Darleen Barton | Amazon NO 1 Best Selling Author 2010
Practitioner
Brochure and Testimonials - https://tinyurl.com/u9xwmj9z
Address Servcorp offices- Level 1 The Realm, 18 National Circuit, Barton ACT 2600
Phone 0261983423

Mediator Nationally Accredited | NMAS | AIFLAM | AMA|
Facilitator Family Group Conferencing
Counsellor/ Therapist / Positive Psychology/ Hon Doc- Nationally Accredited |ACA|IICT
Executive coach Nationally Accredited |ICF

If at any time you, a family member or friend feels overwhelmed to the point they feel they need help call immediately 000 OR 131114
There is always a way through your current thoughts.
https://www.beyondblue.org.au/get-support/get-immediate-support

Vocations that attract these types of people, however not restricted to:

Activism or Advocacy: Communal narcissists may engage in social or political activism to be viewed as champions of important causes, using their involvement to gain public recognition.

Public Service or Politics: Roles in government or public service allow them to present themselves as dedicated to the welfare of others, while also providing a platform for public praise, recognition, and personal wealth

Teaching or Educational Leadership: Being in a position of authority over students or within an educational system allows them to appear as nurturing and wise, garnering respect and admiration.

In these vocations, communal narcissists can disguise their self-serving motives behind a veneer of altruism, making it difficult for others to see their true intentions. Being is not their strength

The Communal Narcissist: You could not have enough bridges, buildings, schools, or rivers to name after them. A communal narcissist is someone who derives their sense of self-worth and validation from helping others, but for self-serving reasons. Unlike typical narcissists, who might seek admiration through their achievements or appearance, communal narcissists present themselves as exceptionally caring, al

Richard’s defensiveness flared slightly. “It’s not that I don’t care. I do. But it’s not like I’m doing this on purpose. I’ve been stressed with work, and it seems like whatever I do is never enough for you. I feel like I’m always on edge, afraid I’ll do something wrong.”

Jill sighed; her frustration evident. “I understand that work is stressful, but I need to feel valued too. When you don’t make an effort to be romantic and intimate, I start to feel like I’m just a fixture in your life. I need to know that our relationship matters to you.” And that you still desire me.

Richard looked away, struggling with his feelings. “I feel like every time I try to express how overwhelmed I am, it just turns into another argument. I’m not sure how to win here. I want to make things better, but it feels like I’m always being judged.”

Jill reached out, her voice softening. “I’m not trying to judge you. I’m trying to understand what’s happening with us. I miss feeling like we are a team. When you shut down, it makes me feel even more disconnected. I need to know that you are still invested in us.”

Are You Living in a Sexless Marriage Jill and Richard had spent 25 years together, their love story woven through decades of shared experiences, challenges, and triumphs. At fifty, they were navigating a new chapter of their lives—one marked by the empty nest and increasingly busy careers in the public sector.