Becki Houlston - Stress and Anxiety Help

Feeling the Sunday night anxiety? Try this. Also works on all other days too!

beckihoulston on TikTok Check out beckihoulston's video.

Not to be missed, the story of how Karen escaped her narcissistic husband. I share insights into her brave story

‎Eventful Lives with Dodge Woodall: #129. Escaping a Dangerous Narcissist: Karen Werrey Easterbrook & Becki Houlston on Apple Podcasts ‎Show Eventful Lives with Dodge Woodall, Ep #129. Escaping a Dangerous Narcissist: Karen Werrey Easterbrook & Becki Houlston - 14 Mar 2023

The podcast of this episode went viral, now watch the full video. Thanks to Dodge Woodall from the Eventful Lives podcast for having me on

Men Battling Toxic Relationships, Abuse and Narcissists: Becki Houlston Most of us have witnessed the effects of a malignant narcissist, sometimes without even realising it.Whether you have firsthand experience, or through close ...

Calling all people pleasers, my insights on being too nice.
Great to work with The Ethicalist in Dubai and thanks to journalist Christine Fieldhouse for the article.

Are You Damaging Your Career and Life by Being too Nice? - You volunteer to stay late at work, pick up everyone’s children and make dinner but being too nice means being underpaid and undervalued

A client today said after her third session

‘In all the years of therapy I’ve never found anything that has helped me release trauma like this has’

- contact me to learn more
www. beckihoulston.co.uk

Becki Houlston – Upgrade your life and work with a personal coach Love your life, love your work: Overcome problems, upgrade and get the best out of your life from a published, experienced and qualified life coach.

It’s not often I talk about me rather than my work. Today’s press from Dorset Bis News

Dorset Biz News – bright, upbeat, positive.

Headlining today on www.dorsetbiznews.co.uk.

Just click on the links to see the stories.

1. By any measure Becki Houlston - Stress and Anxiety Help has led an extraordinary life. Regarded by many as the ‘go to’ stress and anxiety expert, coach and trauma therapist in Dorset she has overcome many hurdles. From losing the ability to talk for three years after falling victim to a CS gas attack in a Bournemouth nightclub to being a cancer survivor. But then, as a testimonial on her website points out: “What makes Becki different is that she has overcome her own significant challenges in her life and walks what she talks.” https://www.dorsetbiznews.co.uk/how-becki-overcame-significant-life-challenges-to-help-her-clients-fully-unlock-their-potential/

2. Former professional footballer Sylvain Distin is part of a team of ten cyclists attempting to ride 1,300 km (807 miles) from Sandbanks to St Tropez in just ten days. The international pedal-powered challenge, which kicks off on May 18, is believed to be a world first. Every penny donated will go towards the Ukraine Humanitarian Appeal. https://www.dorsetbiznews.co.uk/former-footballer-sylvain-in-team-cycling-1300-km-from-sandbanks-to-st-tropez-in-ten-days/

3. What an amazing opportunity for an up-and-coming eco brand. CHS, the full-service independent agency, launches a competition with the winner receiving £10,000-worth of photography. The award, called ‘CHS Exposure’, aims to celebrate the products and services ‘making waves’ in their respective sectors. It’s launched in line with World Earth Day 2022 which is today, April 22. https://www.dorsetbiznews.co.uk/agency-invites-eco-brands-to-enter-competition-with-10000-worth-of-photography-to-be-won/

PLUS

Debbie Greenwood, Founder & Owner, Liaise Ltd, takes the 20 Questions’ hot seat. https://www.dorsetbiznews.co.uk/qualities-i-look-for-in-a-new-employee-open-mindedness-curiosity-sense-of-purpose-fun/

All this - and more - on Dorset’s #1 business news website.

Dorset Biz News.

‘Working hard’ is a false path to fulfilment. A thought provoking article inviting you to re examine your relationship with work and being a human.

Your work is not your god: welcome to the age of the burnout epidemic The reason why so many of us are at the end of our rope? We allowed work to be what gave our lives meaning

All parents and anyone who has been a child, this is the best 12mins listening you can give yourself for deeper understanding about emotional genetics and mental health

Why You Are Haunted By The Past I Dr Gabor Maté Who is Gabor Maté? A renowned speaker, and bestselling author, Dr. Gabor Maté is highly sought after for his expertise on a range of topics including addicti...

I am nodding heartily to all of these points. Any you would add to the list?

52 Things I Wish Somebody Had Told Me in my 20s. | elephant journal May this list be an inspiration, but always remember you are the one who holds your freedom. What I wish someone would have told me in my early 20s:

Whilst topical, this article is immensity useful and explains well the difference between trauma and great distress.

A Trauma Expert Puts the Meghan and Harry Interview in Context Commentators describe the couple’s experience as “trauma.” But strictly speaking, trauma is an event that alters your mind, leaving you helpless and terrified.

The best way for people to understand how I might be able to help them is through the words of my clients.
Today was my 2nd session with a client after a gap of 2 weeks. These were their first words.

The opportunity for spending time along is avoided by so many. Cheryl Strayed found deep healing in being alone and found some wise words too. If you are feeling alone or isolated, look for where you need to heal within you.

19 Tiny, Beautiful Quotes from Cheryl Strayed that will Split your Heart Open. "Be brave enough to break your own heart."

How is 2021 going for you? I’m busy seeing clients, this week though has seemed like a very long week though!
I’m going to do some FB live’s later in Jan what topics regarding emotional and mental health would you like me to talk about? Or what issues would you like me to cover?
Interested in meeting your needs.
Stay well all ❤️
Becki

Are you free tomorrow at 11am and fancy joining me for a free webinar about building resilience in uncertain times? Sign up on the link below

Join us tomorrow for our first webinar!

Life coach Becki Houlston will be giving you tips for stress and teaching us how to become more resilient.

Book now - https://evolvemembers.com/entrepreneur-events/evolve-live-becki-holston-building-resilience/

Right or Left brain?
The first picture you'll see, will show the most requested hemisphere.

Watch the picture quickly. Which animal did you see first?

•
•

(1) The head of a tiger:

The left hemisphere of your brain is more active than the right. You are an analytical person, very focused on the success of your goals and organized. When you face a problem, you tend to be logic, calculator and objective.
However, sometimes you think too much about the decisions you make, checking that they are correct, which makes you tend to be firm. Remember that a little humility will help you help away.

Your personality features are as follows:
Organized: You do all your things in a planned way, like you have a bucket list.
Accurate: you have fixed goals and you know the way to achieve them.
lucid: emotions and feelings don't prevent you from reaching your goals.
Logic: you have good skills for mathematics, science and organization of ideas.
Realistic: your world is very real. There is no room for fairy tales and fiction. And anyway, although your goals may seem to be high for others, you know they are real and doable.

(2) Hanging monkey:

The right hemisphere of your brain is very active. You are a creative person who has a lot of innovative ideas. When you face a difficult situation, you rather trust your intuition (you're almost always right) instead of resting on critical thinking.
You know perfectly that every step you take in your life is a lesson for you and that even if you lose, it means that you are moving towards the success of your goals. For you, travel is more important than the goal. As you are a dreamer, you often get lost in your own paradise. For you, it's essential to keep your feet on Earth from time to time, realize the reality and pay a little more attention to the world around you.

Your personality features are as follows:
Impulsive: you do things in a spontaneous way. You have the ability to see everything in a different way compared to other people.
Sensitive: you worry a lot about everything. You spend a lot of time thinking and acting based on your feelings.
Creative and artistic: you are an expert in music, art and other creative disciplines.
Intuitive: you don't list the tasks to do and you don't respect the rules. You solve problems in an intuitive way.
Dreamer: you have dreams instead of having goals, and you give the best of you to achieve them, and generally, it's a success.
Remember that the two hemispheres of the brain don't work in an insulated way, they work together and complete each other. So, although it looks like you have more features from one of the hemispheres, you may also have features from the other hemisphere.

So, what did you see first?

The tiger's head or the hanging monkey?

Do your personality traits match the descriptions given?

Many clients and friends this week have been feeling pretty up and down. It’s come up for me too. One minute tears of joy, the next a deep feeling of grief. This seems to be mainly effecting those that would say they managed lockdown pretty well.

I call this exit conflict

It’s when we reconnect with parts of our lives that offer real connection, our passions, our great loves, true friendships and work we love and at the same time deeply feel the parts of our life that lack connection or feel empty. The parts of our lives we need to let go of. Our ‘NOT THIS’ that we formally excepted or didn’t even realise how empty it felt.

This could be a toxic work ethic, relationships that need to be set free and mainly old beliefs and parts of ourselves that make us fearful to let go and trust ourselves.

You know it because it feels like you have been warmed by the sun for a while and then it disappears behind a big cloud leaving you shivering for a while.

Some of this emotional will dissolve on its own, and some you need to find the courage to let go of 💪

NOT THIS: Back by popular demand!

(Sweet friends, for some mysterious reason that I still can't figure out, the original version of this essay was deleted from Facebook yesterday. So many of you have asked me to re-post it...so here it is! Thanks for the love, by the way...)

Dear Ones -

Most of us, at some point in our lives (unless we have done everything perfectly...which is: nobody) will have to face a terrible moment in which we realize that we have somehow ended up in the wrong place — or at least, in a very bad place.

Maybe we will have to admit that we are in the wrong job. Or the wrong relationship. With the wrong people around us. Living in the wrong neighborhood. Acting out on the wrong behaviors. Using the wrong substances. Pretending to believe things that we no longer believe. Pretending to be something we were never meant to be.

This moment of realization is seldom fun. In fact, it's usually terrifying.

I call this moment of realization: NOT THIS.

Because sometimes that's all you know, at such a moment.

All you know is: NOT THIS.

Sometimes that's all you CAN know.

All you know is that some deep life force within you is saying, NOT THIS, and it won't be silenced.

Your body is saying: NOT THIS.

Your heart is saying: NOT THIS.

Your soul is saying: NOT THIS.

But your brain can't bring itself to say "NOT THIS", because that would cause a serious problem. The problem is: You don't have a Plan B in place. This is the only life you have. This is the only job you have. This is the only spouse you have. This is the only house you have. Your brain says, "It may not be great, but we have to put up with it, because there are no other options." You're not sure how you got here — to this place of THIS — but you sure as hell don't know how to get out...

So your brain says: "WE NEED TO KEEP PUTTING UP WITH THIS, BECAUSE THIS IS ALL WE HAVE."

But still, beating like a quiet drum, your body and your heart and your soul keep saying: NOT THIS...NOT THIS...NOT THIS.

I think some of the bravest people I have ever met were people who had the courage to say the words, "NOT THIS" outloud — even before they had an alternative plan.

People who walked out of bad situations without knowing if there was a better situation on the horizon.

People who looked at the life they were in, and they said, "I don't know what my life is supposed to be...but it's NOT THIS." And then they just...left.

I think my friend who walked out of a marriage after less than a year, and had to move back in with her mother (back into her childhood bedroom), and face the condemnation of the entire community while she slowly created a new life for herself. Everyone said, "If he's not good enough for you, who will be?" She didn't know. She didn't know anything about what her life would look like now. But it started with her saying: NOT THIS.

I think of my friend who took her three young children away from a toxic marriage, despite that fact that her husband supported her and the kids financially...and the four of them (this woman and her three children) all slept in one bed together in a tiny studio apartment for a few years, while she struggled to build a new life. She was poor, she was scared, she was alone. But she had to listen to the voices within her that said, NOT THIS.

I think of friends who walked out of jobs — with no job waiting for them. Because they said NOT THIS.

I think of friends who quit school, rather than keep pretending that they cared about this field of study anymore. And yes, they lost the scholarship. And yes, they ended up working at a fast food restaurant, while everyone else was getting degrees. And yes, it took them a while to figure out where to go next. But there was a relief at last in just surrendering to the holy, non-negotiable truth of NOT THIS.

I think of friends who bravely walked into AA meetings and just fell apart in front of a room full of total strangers, and said, NOT THIS.

I think of a friend who pulled her children out of Sunday School in the middle of church one Sunday because she'd had it with the judgment and self-righteousness of this particular church. Yes, it was her community. Yes, it was her tribe. But she physically couldn't be in that building anymore without feeling that she would explode. She didn't know where she was going, spiritually or within her community, but she said, NOT THIS. And walked out.

Rationally, it's crazy to abandon a perfectly good life (or at least a familiar life) in order to jump into a mystery. No sane person would advise you to make such a leap, with no Plan B in place. We are supposed to be careful. We are supposed to be prudent.

And yet....

And yet.

If you keep ignoring the voices within you that say NOT THIS, just because you don't know what to do, instead...you may end up stuck in NOT THIS forever.

You don't need to know where you are going to admit that where you are standing right now is wrong.

The bravest thing to say can be these two words.

What comes next?

I don't know. You don't know. Nobody knows. It might be worse. It might be better. But whatever it is...? It's NOT THIS.

ONWARD,
LG

When we are ‘in something’, afraid or feeling negative it’s easy to forget that it isn’t a permanent place. Repeat this out loud today....what happens and what new resources do you discover?
🙏
This also applies to our happy and most celebrated times. When you remind yourself that those too shall pass’ you soften the highs and lows, walk away from shame and connect with your inner strength.

I talk to many many people each week and the general emotional theme this week is ‘what now?’

The fog is clearing slowly, did you take the time to rejuvenate or try and find comfort in keeping busy?

For this next leg this is what you are going to need...

✅Self-trust & self-belief
✅Good-intuition
✅Courage
✅Good self-care
✅Energy
✅Re-evaluation of personal and biz values (be clear about what’s important to you)
✅Robust emotional health

And what you need to leave behind

❌Self-doubt
❌Blame of self and others
❌Fear of the unknown
❌Fear of failure
❌Needing to feel in control

‘We are all dancing backwards in high heels’ learn to embrace feeling unstable.

Find out more about how I can help you get rid of the ❌’s fast

A new moon signifies new beginnings. These affirmations are very ‘now’
If saying them brings up any uncomfortable feelings, negative self talk or conflicts then identify it as a block.
Ask yourself ‘if I could let this go what would I do or who would I be?

How are you feeling today?
Or rather ‘How are you REALLY feeling today?

In these uncertain times where all our shadows and blessings are being tested and revealed you can remain centred by connecting with what you truthfully feel.
PS. ‘I’m fine’ isn’t a truthful answer.

F f**ked up
I insecure
N neurotic
E emotional

When we say ‘I’m fine’ to ourselves we are missing a moment to connect with our deeper and honest truth. Sometimes we keep ourselves busy to stop this truth from emerging from the depths.

It’s okay to feel afraid
It’s okay to feel vulnerable and uncomfortable

Recognise whatever emotion is there and let it pass through you like clouds passing through the sky. You can’t heal what you refuse to feel.

99% of us all have lost something recently. Time - sense of security-freedom- seeing loved ones-financial- jobs- hopes-peace of mind. How can I help you and your staff get through this?

If I could give you a better way to feel even in the midst of such uncertainty would you want to try it?

Some may not want to return to normal, normal didn’t really work for you.

Now is the time to upgrade yourself for the new adventure ahead.

www.beckihoulston.com

This is a great technique to trick your nervous system into feeling calmer.
Feel free to share 🙏😷

Try this to feel calm in anxious times Learn a great technique to bio-hack your nervous system during real life challenges. We can’t change what’s happening but here is how you can change how you ...

At times when the future feels so uncertain and fear is whistling around all our lives, it's vital to take time to find and connect to our inner resources. My gift to you is my guided hypnotic mediation. Feel free to share with anyone who you may know that would benefit. Stay in the eye of the storm as best you can 😍🙏

Instant Recharge Download Meditation to help you stay calm and gain stronger self-belief in challenging times.

KNOWING THIS AND SHARING THIS WILL SAVE LIVES: 🙏

You never know what’s happening behind closed doors:

https://www.ncdv.org.uk

There has already been an increase in domestic violence by 20% in the UK. You only need to see the empty alcohol isles in the supermarket to know.

Whilst many of us feel unsafe at the moment, for too many working from home and being trapped in the house brings another level of terror. Find help now.

NCDV | Domestic Abuse | National Centre For Domestic Violence The National Centre for Domestic Violence (NCDV) provides a free, fast emergency injunction service to survivors of domestic abuse.

Creating calm Bio-hack tip 1:

Breathing.

Seems too simple right. How can breaking help? I’m always breathing right?

You have a sympathetic nervous system (fight/flight/freeze) and a parasympathetic nervous system (rest,digest,relax). Here is one way you can switch systems to calm even if you are facing challenges and fear for the future.

Sit for a moment and breath in for the count of 4, hold for the count of 4 and out for the count of 4. Repeat x 20
How do you feel now?

Start your day with this to stock up on calm to support you in a chaotic world.

🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏

I am seeing clients to help them overcome stress and anxiety as usual in my office, with the option to go online if preferred. I see many clients online ordinarily, no compromise on results.

Whilst we all face challenge there are so many ways you can bio-hack your nervous system to create a feeling of calm whilst facing real fear.

Watch this space.....