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Why Ben's Place (North Yorkshire) exists?

shaving my head for Bens Place North Yorkshire and donating my hair to Little Princess Trust to make a wig for a child with cancer.
Please Donate at Benspace.org.uk or gofundme bens place north yorkshire

Shaving my head for charity I am raising money for Ben's Place North Yorkshire a charity that supports boys and men who have been s*xually abused in childhoodI have also donated 29cm ...

Shaving my head on the 17th Of September 2021 video update

Tomorrow’s the big day 11am all my hair will be gone. We are going to video my head shave and as soon as we can will upload for the kind people who have pledged money can watch my 59th birthday gift to boys and men who have suffered abuse violence or r**e in their lives. Hope your kind pledges help someone else’s son.
Please visit our website to donate what ever you can afford www.bensplace.org.uk

Thank you Ben’s Mum # # #

We all have demons just some hide them better than others.

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Shaving my head on the 17th Of September 2021, organized by Kym Mcnichol Do you want to join me in making a difference? I'm shaving my head on my 5… Kym Mcnichol needs your support for Shaving my head on the 17th Of September 2021

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Shaving my head on the 17th Of September 2021, organized by Kym Mcnichol Do you want to join me in making a difference? I'm shaving my head on my 5… Kym Mcnichol needs your support for Shaving my head on the 17th Of September 2021

The myth that boys can’t be s*xually used or abused, and if one is, he can never be a “real man.”
Everyone absorbs the myth that males aren’t victims, to some extent. It’s central to masculine gender socialisation, and boys pick up on it very early in life. This myth implies that a boy or man who has been s*xually used or abused will never be a “real man.” Our society expects males to be able to protect themselves. Successful men are depicted as never being vulnerable, either physically or emotionally.

Whether you agree with that definition of masculinity or not, boys are not men. They are children. They are weaker and more vulnerable than those who s*xually abuse or exploit them – who use their greater size, strength and knowledge to manipulate or coerce boys into unwanted s*xual experiences and staying silent. This is usually done from a position of authority (e.g., coach, teacher, religious leader) or status (e.g. older cousin, admired athlete, social leader), using whatever means are available to reduce resistance, such as attention, special privileges, money or other gifts, promises or bribes, even outright threats.

What happens to any of us as children does not need to define us as adults or men. It is important to remember that 1 in 6 boys are s*xually abused before age 18, and that those boys can grow up to be strong, powerful, courageous and healthy men. Examples are found in our Male Survivor Stories section, and there are many others out there.

The myth that if a boy experienced s*xual arousal during abuse, he wanted and/or enjoyed it, and if he ever did partly want the s*xual experiences, then they were his fault.
Many boys and men believe this myth and feel lots of guilt and shame because they got physically aroused during the abuse. It is important to understand that males can respond to s*xual stimulation with an er****on or even an or**sm – even in s*xual situations that are traumatic or painful. That’s just how male bodies and brains work. Those who s*xually use and abuse boys know this. They often attempt to maintain secrecy, and to keep the abuse going, by telling the child that his s*xual response shows he was a willing participant and complicit in the abuse. “You wanted it. You liked it,” they say.

But that doesn’t make it true. Boys are not seeking to be s*xually abused or exploited. They can, however, be manipulated into experiences they do not like, or even understand, at the time.

There are many situations where a boy, after being gradually manipulated with attention, affection and gifts, feels like he wants such attention and s*xual experiences. In an otherwise lonely life (for example, one lacking in parental attention or affection – even for a brief period), the attention and pleasure of s*xual contact from someone the boy admires can feel good.

But in reality, it’s still about a boy who was vulnerable to manipulation. It’s still about a boy who was betrayed by someone who selfishly exploited the boy’s needs for attention and affection to use him s*xually.

The myth that s*xual abuse is less harmful to boys than girls.
Most studies show that the long term effects of s*xual abuse and assault can be quite damaging for both males and females. One large study, conducted by the U.S. Centers for Disease Control, found that the s*xual abuse of boys was more likely to involve pe*******on of some kind, which is associated with greater psychological harm.

The harm caused by s*xual abuse or assault mostly depends on things not determined by gender, including: the abuser’s identity, the duration of the abuse, whether the child told anyone at the time, and if so, whether the child was believed and helped.

Many boys suffer harm because adults who could believe them and help are reluctant, or refuse, to acknowledge what happened and the harm it caused. This increases the harm, especially the shame felt by boys and men, and leads many to believe they have to “tough it out” on their own. And that, of course, makes it harder to seek needed help in the midst of the abuse, or even years later when help is still needed.

The myth that if a female used or abused a boy, he was “lucky,” and if he doesn’t feel that way there’s something wrong with him.
This myth, like several of the others, comes from the image of masculinity that boys learn from very early. It says not only that males can’t be s*xually abused, but that any s*xual experience with girls and women, especially older ones, is evidence that he’s a “real man.” Again, the confusion comes from focusing on the s*xual aspect rather than the abusive one – the exploitation and betrayal by a more powerful, trusted or admired person (who can be a child or adult).

In reality, premature, coerced or otherwise abusive or exploitative s*xual experiences are never positive – whether they are imposed by an older sister, sister of a friend, baby sitter, neighbour, aunt, mother, or any other female in a position of power over a boy. At a minimum, they cause confusion and insecurity. They almost always harm boys’ and men’s capacities for trust and intimacy.

A gay man who experienced s*xual arousal when abused by a female may wonder whether it means that he is actually straight or wonder what it means that he was chosen by a woman or older girl.

Being s*xually used or abused, whether by males or females, can cause a variety of other emotional and psychological problems. However, boys and men often don’t recognise the connections between what happened and their later problems. To be used as a s*xual object by a more powerful person, male or female, is never a good thing, and can cause lasting harm.

The myth that boys abused by males must have attracted the abuse because they are gay or they become gay as a result.
Most studies show that the long term effects of s*xual abuse and assault can be quite damaging for both males and females. One large study, conducted by the U.S. Centers for Disease Control, found that the s*xual abuse of boys was more likely to involve pe*******on of some kind, which is associated with greater psychological harm.

The harm caused by s*xual abuse or assault mostly depends on things not determined by gender, including: the abuser’s identity, the duration of the abuse, whether the child told anyone at the time, and if so, whether the child was believed and helped.

Many boys suffer harm because adults who could believe them and help are reluctant, or refuse, to acknowledge what happened and the harm it caused. This increases the harm, especially the shame felt by boys and men, and leads many to believe they have to “tough it out” on their own. And that, of course, makes it harder to seek needed help in the midst of the abuse, or even years later when help is still needed.

Studies about this question suggest that men who have s*xually abused a boy most often identify as heteros*xual and often are involved in adult heteros*xual relationships at the time of abusive interaction. There is no indication that a gay man is more likely to engage in s*xually abusive behaviour than a straight man and some studies even suggest it is less likely. But s*xual abuse is not a s*xual “relationship,” – it’s an assault. The s*xual orientation of the abusive person is not really relevant to the abusive interaction. A man who s*xually abuses or exploits boys is not engaging in a homos*xual interaction – any more than men who s*xually abuse or exploit girls are engaging in heteros*xual behaviour. He is a deeply confused individual who, for various reasons, desires to s*xually use or abuse a child, and has acted on that desire.

Good morning all, we hope you are all keeping safe and well in lock down.
Please if you can be kind to people because you do not know how they may be feeling inside.

Keep safe and take care

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Man jailed for prostituting boy
Nathan Eyre
Nathan Eyre groomed the boy then "sold" him in Bradford
A 14-year-old boy was groomed for s*x and "sold" at a fast-food restaurant to a pa******le ring.
For the next six days, the youth was taken across England and subjected to "degrading" s*x acts, a court was told.

His ordeal came to an end when he was reported missing after failing to come back from school - leading to the arrest of two men.

Nathan Eyre, 38, of Leeds, was jailed for eight years for grooming the boy and selling him to Raymond Hawthorne, the leader of a pa******le ring.

Hawthorne, 40, from Manchester, was jailed for seven years after admitting a range of offences.

Leeds Crown Court was told that the boy was subjected to a "blur" of s*xual abuse.

'Quite absurd'

The judge criticised his lack of sentencing powers after hearing how the boy was groomed for s*x.

Mr Justice Holland said the maximum seven-year sentence for people living off the earnings of prostitutes was "quite absurd".

He sentenced Eyre to just five years because he had to take into account the guilty plea. Eyre was also given three years for conspiring with Hawthorne to sell the boy.

Leslie Loram, 50, of Rochdale - "one of Hawthorne's best customers" - was jailed for three and a half years after admitting two serious s*xual offences and one of indecent assault on the 14-year-old boy.

Neil Davey QC, for the prosecution, told the court the young victim "serviced so many clients in so many parts of the country and in so many different ways it became impossible for him to remember how many men he had serviced or in what circumstances."

Text message

One of Hawthorne's "customers" was found guilty of conspiring with him to commit indecent assault on the 14-year-old.

The jury heard Hawthorne had sent Barry Carman a text message saying he had a 14-year-old boy who was the "cutest" he had ever had.

The court was told Carman, 56, from Regent Street, Newton-le-Willows, Merseyside, sent a text message back saying: "When is he working?"

Carman is due to be sentenced at a date to be fixed

Another client, David Riley, also 56, of Eccles, Manchester, pleaded guilty to indecent assault and was given a two and a half year sentence.


I remain stunned and in a state of disbelief about how these people view children
Det Insp Paul Jeffrey
A further defendant, Eric Groves, 44, of Shifnal, Shropshire, pleaded guilty to conspiracy to commit indecent assault at a previous hearing and is due to be sentenced at Manchester Crown Court at a date to be fixed.

After the hearing, Det Insp Paul Jeffrey, of the Leeds child and public protection unit, said he was still "stunned" about what the men had done.

He said officers became increasingly concerned when it transpired a much larger group of men were involved, living across the country in Lancashire, Bedfordshire, Merseyside, Shropshire and Leicestershire.

Mr Jeffrey explained that Eyre "sold" the boy to Hawthorne at a fast food restaurant on the M606 roundabout in Bradford.

"I remain stunned and in a state of disbelief about how these people view children," Mr Jeffrey continued.

"They see nothing wrong with buying and selling children for s*xual gratification."

❌LIVING IN LEEDS 18 AREA❌

A 14-year-old boy was groomed for s*x and "sold" at a fast-food restaurant to a pa******le ring.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/3663634.stm

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