Alaka Hudlikar Early Years

Only ma could do it.

#10 These are Prisha’s first hearing aids. Digital devices that were sold to us in the most materialistic way to make money. We were asked to choose what we wanted, according to Ma just like vegetables! We had no idea about such things, how do we know, how do we choose?! Back then Internet wasn’t as savvy! My husband tried to understand as much as we could, rest we depended on the audiologist MHS who was pretty sure we were another customer to make money from. We were vulnerable and desperate. Trusted her and bought them and followed her therapy which wasn’t going anywhere! I asked her when would Prisha say her name? She said maybe make it easier as Prisha is tough to say! My heart broke! I had waited 3 weeks to get this perfect name for my girl- meaning Beloved God’s gift! Finding Ma took away that fear! When we started therapy, in a month Prisha uttered her first word- “appa”- apple! And when I saw all the other kids talking, all my fears were gone! I never questioned Ma! I knew Prisha would one day say her name and will call me mumma! I believed in all that she taught, she never marketed herself, instead, people came from far and near through word of mouth. Ma explained the logic to us about hearing aid selection. As a common man, we had no knowledge. She explained about the words like “gain”, threshold, speech banana, amplification, frequency, back ground sounds etc and taught the entire science! She took a copy of our audiogram and helped us understand hearing loss. We trained Prisha over the year when one day we realize that she had given us wrong hearing aids with bad programming. Immediately we bought another pair which weren’t cheap! But what was important? Her hearing! I learnt the lessons over the years and trained Prisha. Soon, she started calling me “Tata”!! I was thrilled yet I could only tell her to correct herself as that was the way I could encourage/ force her to correct her speech. Ma would never let us stay satisfied with the results from our kids! She raised the bar every time and we soon learnt that if I am complacent, my child would suffer! Speech development is a long process and requires unending hours of interaction. Her favorite thing to say was…. Bathe the child in language! She never stopped at just one language. Encouraged our kids to pick up multiple ones! The hearing aids were put first thing in the morning and until she slept at night or at the time she napped in the afternoons. I realized soon that she refused to take them off during sleep time too as she enjoyed her sounds around her. I was always talking in the most “interesting “ way! What’s interesting in daily life? Well not much but it depends on us how we can make it happen! Over these I realised that yes we can create interesting conversation. She helped us use our skills and talents to the maximum. Isn’t she amazing?! And yes! She did say her name Prisha! I didn’t have to change it! Thank you Ma! Thanks to you she has her name.

We mothers learnt to do Speech Therapy lessons in every situation that we were in including the toilets and any public place.

#9 The best part about our speech therapy lessons was that we were never confined to one space. Most speech therapist I know or have heard of do speech therapy in rooms, filled with books and some toys or few puzzles. The children always feel it’s a space to learn. With Alaka Mam, it was all about exploring different spaces around us. Each day that we went to her we were never sure where we would be or what we would be doing. There was never a pattern or a planned lesson. It was never predictable and probably the reason why I was always intrigued and excited. I love the fact that she would start a lesson impromptu. I often remember going to her garden, and we would talk about butterflies, the plants growing in her garden, the gardener, the cats that sneaked around while we did our lessons or even the birds that were chirping on the tree near the area where we did Speech Therapy . I would record her and my little girl would just follow behind. As she was so new to this new speech and sound world, she often couldn’t understand things while we were being taught. So I would see her yawning or looking bored while I gave her Looks to stay attentive. It was quite a task to stay attentive as ma’am could question you anytime! These lessons were so exciting that we learnt about so many other things that are in real time besides just charts or books. The kids loved when she showed us how we weigh things in a shop or the temple visits or even going to her kitchen to make some popcorn and make them listen to those popping sounds! Kids were excited as were we! She even called the vegetable vendor and did a whole lesson on vegetables and how we cook or our favorite vegs were! The children loved these real life scenarios. But even we adults just enjoyed how she made a day to day mundane activity into such an exciting lesson. We mothers also Were so involved in engaged because of the way she talked about all these situations. She made the most boring moment or activity into the most exciting activity. The children learnt from real life situations and so when we went out on our own, We exactly knew how to make every day life situation Into a Speech Therapy lesson. We mothers became good at carrying forward this at our homes. Prisha was always with me and we did exactly the same wherever we were together. This was our life throughout her childhood. Even today there are lot of situations where we still do the same. Isn’t she amazing? I miss those days of learning! When I started blogging about this, I connected with many across the world! I knew then that I had the best speech therapist in the world. We were loved by the Universe to have got this blessing.

She was hearing me, comprehending and following the instructions! That day was perhaps the happiest day since her diagnosis. My best birthday gift ever.

#8 It was the 15ty of feb 2006(just a day before my birthday) that Ma Alaka gave me my first compliment or positive feedback and perhaps the best birthday gift! A full year of speech therapy which including intense training and tough lessons! She was never easy! So as I sat in the little space playing with my nearly 2 year old, playing with the kitchen set. I gave her instructions and she followed. Ma was doing her puja upstairs and kept listening to me as well! That time used to be a nightmare for me as I wasn’t sure if she would approve of what I was doing! Suddenly I hear her say “wait wait”! I was frozen and so scared that I have messed up my lesson again! She came running down the stairs and said…this is what I wanted you to do and this exactly I wanted you to do the whole year! Well done! She was hearing me, comprehending and following the instructions! That day was perhaps the happiest day since her diagnosis! The whole year went in trying to please ma and also make sure I am teaching Prisha. I started to cry lots of tears of joy! She was ecstatic as I was too, along with tears of relief! I had pleased my guru for the first time after being critically spoken to the whole year! Looking at me cry she said with a little sweet smirk “stop crying otherwise your baby will think why is this woman making my mom cry”! I said thank you Ma’am it’s all because of you that I am doing the right thing and you know what she said…what have I done? It’s all your work! Who says that!! I have written in that diary on that day that to me she is GOD! I was scared of her but internally loved what she taught me. Slowly I was becoming a fan and an admirer who was in awe but afraid to say anything to her! That day was my first euphoric and eureka moment and something between Ma and me happened! It broke that barrier a little. And we both knew we make a good teacher student team. That day changed me a lot. A lot of confidence was built up and I found I can make things work. I was on the right track all thanks to Ma who taught with passion and was harsh for our good. No sweet words would have pushed me to work with Prisha! It was the happiest day after a whole year and half since her diagnosis! It was the best pre birthday gift given to me by my two angels! I remember flying home. I saw her harshness and tenderness. I saw her love in those moments. I was smitten! Ma never took praise or took glory in her work! She always gave us the credit! She had told us your meaning of happiness will change and these deaf baby will be your source of happiness and joy! And yes that day I felt it. No material, party, food, event or meet ups made me happy! But a word from my deaf baby and a pat on my back from my mentor was the biggest source of happiness and these classes were the best meet ups as I learnt so much! She came into my life like a storm and changed the meaning of life! She is my source of inspiration and joy even today…she still brings a tear in my eye with just her thought! Isn’t she amazing?

I recorded her to help me remember every word she uttered! To me they were gems and pearls of wisdom that I would never want to miss!

#7 My classes were getting very intense. Handling a small baby, driving to the morning classes twice a week, handling my older one, my home and also remembering everything that Alaka Ma was expecting me to do in all my waking hours with my deaf child was a lot! I was engulfed into this new life where nothing else mattered. She was very firm and would never compromise. The baby was left on the side to just listen and adjust to the Hearing world while I was expected to follow every instruction in depth. She was very strong and strict. It was so intense that they was a lot of fear of not being able to follow or perform according to her standards. To the new moms, it was always overwhelming as she came across as harsh. But the mothers soon realised that she had nothing against them but through her passionate approach she took them towards success. We had to be resilient, alert and strong. The challenge was how to keep pace with all the information that was being given in that one hour along with the fear of performance in class! Initially I would just keep it in my head and go home, put Prisha to sleep and write over late breakfast. But soon I realise I was missing out on a lot of golden perks of wisdom as I called them. Technology came to my rescue, I started to record all her conversations on dictaphone! Since the classes required my attention and participation, I hid it in on me while I skipped, turned around, jumped or just listen to her lectures. Under my shirt, dupatta, jeans etc so that she doesn’t notice it! Why? I wasn’t ready to risk telling her and another was she always felt there wasn’t anything extraordinary in what she told us!! I went back home and then write all that I decided in my diary. I started to document better, understand deeper with double revision without missing out information and also made my own additions to these notes. It helped me to better remember all that she taught us. It was phenomenal! Back home over tea-breakfast and a calm mind I realised how extraordinary her mind was and how lucky I was to get this information. These proved to be my biggest earnings or savings of my life! I was able to better apply what I learnt through this method! I did this for 3 years till she gave permission (that’s another story worth hearing) for recording on camera! I was able to break a lot of barriers with her! To the world she was strict, harsh and a few more things maybe! But mothers like us know that she only was the way she was because she was SO passionate, dedicated and never failed! Her strong voice, commanding persona and phenomenal knowledge had a very strong influence in my life! We mothers started to become a little like her! We learnt to talk like her slowly! Isn’t that amazing? Am I glad that I did what I did? Yes I am! I have her voice with me forever to guide, bless and motivate! She is…so I am! So miss my ma! Goyal

A little group of early years.

#6 I was placed with the English speaking group. Prisha was the youngest, just a year old! I was wondering why she would train her with these big kids. In my mind I had this idea that I would just be there for 4-5 classes where I would be shown what to do and that’s it! But what followed was a rough long rides with more hours of training for me, possible performance by Prisha and then work all week accordingly. This did give us moments of high which made us really happy! I still remember the space we went to. Enter the gates of Padmini, go onto a path behind the house. 3-4 steps led into a little verandah with a mat, a small rack where she had her “very used” material! Very used yes as she had 3-4 batches of kids coming each day!! The mothers sat behind their kids and Ma Alaka gave out her lectures. Prisha was too little and she would seek my attention. We both had our own fears, doubts and were skeptical about this process. Ma would tell me to ignore her and just listen to the conversations. Mothers would follow all the instructions strictly. The older kids sat with full concentration as they were aware of her demands and commands. While my little one just looked around a little scared. My heart used to melt looking at her. I wondered how she would understand all the conversations as she only talked to moms or interacted with kids. It worried me back then. Amongst them Hritk stood as our motivation. Seema would step up and keep pace with the class and help me with a lot of support which was missing in my life back then. I tried to take it all in. Prisha just perhaps “ heard” while classes went along. I realized soon that she was creating an environment of natural listening for my little one who was just 3-4 months of hearing age! Prisha would startle, cry, stare or frown depending on all the sounds she heard. Yes she was responding to her older peers, mothers and Ma! She was always a bit scared of her as she was the loudest and was quite commanding! Soon these kids started to form a bond. Ma would teach the older ones and younger ones listened and followed. We were soon going to be together twice a week in her garden, kitchen, temples, parks and of course in parts of her own home! She created a home environment just like we all have where babies look around and learn from older ones. It became our haven, way of life and a space that gave us lots of ideas on not just speech therapy but also child behavior, learning attitude, positive competition, empathy, kindness, sisterhood, skills to tackle life, building inner strength and self confidence. We were going to lose our shyness and become bold! We were our little ones support system and build a bond that was going to make it stronger than any other. I also realized how much I was growing mentally that I could not find joy in just doing chit chatting like many others! She told us that, there will be a shift in our choice of topics and people. Many bonds will break as they are not interested in your daily struggle with the deaf child. But this child will change my life in such a way that I will receive joy in many more enriching way! This child will make me a different person and I will find happiness and growth which otherwise I would have never known. And that was so true! I bonded with her so differently, with many others passionately and I had grown in many better ways! My deaf baby was changing me every day in the most beautiful ways! Isn’t that amazing?

My learning and documentation lies in these.

#5 Ma’s knowledge was just phenomenal. She didn’t need reference, notes nor a guidance! She could start with one thought or word and build an entire session or even a few on that! She would give us examples, theory and practical all together with results! Within minutes, the child would perform! When she started to talk, I was always mesmerized. The thoughts, the logic and her methods were so aligned in her head with such clarity that no one could question even one thing about her knowledge! She had an answer to every question, logic to every method and clarity for every doubt! I soon realized I can’t hold an hour of session in my head. I needed to write them down! Initially Alaka ma would get upset if I wrote something down! She would want that we hear, understand and run it so deep inside that it becomes a part of our lives! But is that possible to think like her? Our limited exposure to the world, emotions towards our children and vulnerability made it hard! So I did take risks and scribbled as much as I could in my diary! I would come home and recall all that I could and scribble while my baby either slept or played. Everything played in the head. So I picked up two diaries. One where I wrote down all that I learnt in class and the other had letters by my son to my daughter before she was born and after too as well as my personal thoughts and feelings which I couldnt share with the world. After years of staying home and doing house chores besides taking care of family, the mind was rusted. I was overwhelmed as the classes were intense! These became my best friends for the next few years! The suppressed emotions of wanting to give it all up, fight to survive, emotional upheavals filled the pages besides stories of the high moments and victories along with Prisha’s first few words!! I just scribbled and vented out all that I had in my mind. Ma was so firm and pushy that we would return home very overwhelmed on days! The struggle between wanting to give up and keep going for our child’s sake was tough. Besides the initial years the lack of understanding of family about her methods was very hard! I knew only she could make Prisha talk! So I had no choice but keep going! These journals are worth more than their weight in gold! I can’t part with them and carry them with me each time I have moved in my hand luggage! A few asked me for them and I refused as what’s written can’t just be understood but practiced and demonstrated. Besides these journals can’t do justice nor come close to what ma was. I wish I could be her student for 60 years and document every word she spoke, every method she practiced and emulate her style. These journals were mere a bleak view of what she offered yet these are my lifelines and are my support system for life. I used them not only for Prisha but later for mothers who I supported over the years. These shall be with me till my last breath. I highly recommend journaling and documentation as I saw how they are beneficial. And this lead to my giving Prisha her first journal when she was 7 and later this became a reason to get bigger and have a better reach which made me who I am today! Isn’t that amazing? More on this soon.

#4 I still remember her tiny ears trying to hold the weight of the heavy hearing aids along with a pipe that circled around to keep it in place. The hard mold within, gave her so much discomfort. They either fell out or she pulled them out detesting the “noise” that were not yet “sounds” to her. That door to 101, Padmini on Prabhat Road was the entry into world of sounds! Fearful, excited, nervous and unsure…I was a mom who couldnt wait to hear the word “mumma” from her! Isn’t that what every mom came for? That was the first question she asked her moms. “What do you want from me?” Every mom had the same answer. What I thought would be few months of speech therapy turned into 6.5 years of active learning to a lifetime of association. To every mom, she was the only hope. And I was no different. Our first class if I remember right was the day Sanjeev, prisha and I went to her class. Ma gave us a picture and asked to describe. It was a simple drawing of a full moon, a man walking across the field. What we might think was easy, suddenly looked difficult! He and I sat on the mat looking and were clueless. Ma had this look on her face that was not giving away any signs. Now I know….she must be smirking! Hmmm educated people who can’t describe a simple picture! I knew, I was in the right place! She was one who would push and prod your mind, would make every small word into an essay and an insignificant incident into an event to remember. Truly Ma style she started to tell us about the picture! It’s so vivid in my mind as that became my motivation or a reminder of how we can hold interest of people. I could keep on listening! The simplest of picture was a tale to listen to. Dramatic, poetic, simple yet filled with expressions! She could hold any audience into listening for hours! My little girl who had just learnt the world of “no sounds” to “sounds” was soon going to be bombarded with lessons that would change our lives! Prisha would startle in between and raise her little head with mouth open as we sat there. She had mocked us which at that point hurt our egos, after all we were adults who had raised one boy! But this would soon change to unlearning what we knew, strip off our egos and start learning the new way of raising a baby who would teach me many lessons! Those tiny ears with heavy aids would soon want to hold the aids in as they would learn to interpret the noise around into meaningful words, sentences and events! It was our journey, not just hers. After all I was with her 24*7! She wasn’t going to teach her anything, I was her student! Prisha was left on the side to just observe, crawl, feel, explore and hear while her mother was going on a journey with lessons on sounds, phonetics, intonation, voice modulation, sound perception, threshold, conditioning, tongue placement, vibrations, and so much more which until then I had taken for granted. In all these times, my peers or other mothers became my support system to help me crack this big education that was going to rock my world. Nothing was going to be the same again. I was entering this house as a fragile, scared mother with a tiny baby with no voice and come out a confident mother, guide, speaker with a child who was ready for the world. Isn’t that amazing?

Alaka Ma resisted technology for a reason. But we soon changed that.

#3 I don’t remember the exact date I started speech therapy with Ma. But I do remember that I first went with Sanjeev perhaps as there was so much information that was given that my mind was blown. I have faint memory of those times as we had so much trauma and stress due to the situation. We had invested in the latest model of behind the ear hearing aids costing 100,000 Rs or 1 lake Rs which Ma was strictly against. We were the first ones with that technology with her. She preferred the pocket models as she had control over them. She wasn’t too pleased with the fact that they were behind the ear and digital technology, for her was not appealing. I remember the number of arguments Sanjeev and she had over it while I was caught in between as a mother in distress. The world around wasn’t too helpful either. No counseling, support, financial help nor the family understanding the depth of the situation. I was desperate, miserable, scared and exhausted. To me I just knew that God was in Ma as she could give me all information. So having spent so much money and then the speech therapist not happy was a tough time. Convincing her that latest technology would help wasn’t easy. She always felt dependence on technology wasn’t good. The child should be able to perform with least technology as when it changes,it can create stress. So no FM system, no cochlear implants. Simple loudness of sounds that can help her reach the brain that needed training. I was often vocal in seminars where they sold CI as I saw her logic. Everyone talked about hearing technology but no one showed any person talking with them! She also felt that the hearing aids should me such that the poorest of the poor could afford them! And hence every child she had could speak and that too with very simple hearing aids which included the box type that were hand held back in the days!! Advantage being she could speaking into them in her hand and observe the face and lip movement. With behind the ear that wasn’t possible. Every child went to normal schools. Was it the hearing technology alone, no it was her method of teaching speech and language that made it possible. No one I knew could do what she was doing! I was becoming a fan very quickly. And no guesses why! She ignited my intelligence, logic and curiosity. Every question had an answer and every statement by us was challenged by her with her answers. She always got away with her detailed explanations. She was a master at her game who no one could even come close. She talked about hearing aids, speech therapy, placement of tongue, phonics, sounds, methods and used every situation as an opportunity for speech therapy. Fortunately we were accepted as her student despite her disapproving our choices. She later accepted that behind ear hearing aids weren’t so bad. I was placed in an English speaking group with older kids who were speaking coming twice a week. She became my source of knowledge towards a new path that was not taught by any books or university. I was soon going to be following her into an amazing world that would bring joy each day despite the hard work. Every day would unfold a joy that most people take for granted. She taught us that ours is not an ordinary life. Our life of misery and silence is going to be a life of happiness and sounds! Isn’t that amazing?
PS. In the photo prisha has her first hearing aids.

This mother makes me so proud!! She reached out in 2020 and there is so much progress in him! She always updates me about him and it feels humbling and melts my heart! Thank you my dear K for doing this. It’s the best gift for me and I consider it precious returns for the time I spent on you! I did it as a tribute to ma Alaka and it’s all her teachings. Your feedback makes me content and proud. Thank you for giving me this joy of seeing your little one grow into a bright little young man! Can’t wait to see more! God bless you immensely.

#2 How did I get connected to this amazing personality? Well it was my sheer luck, destiny or karma from some birth or even a certain bond that needed a connection! Prisha was born to me after 7.5 years of wishes and prayers! I was ecstatic as my family was complete with a little baby girl with dimples and curly hair. Born in Bangalore, 2 months later we moved to Pune. I was enjoying her! Suddenly we find out she is deaf! My world crashed, I turned silent and I started desperately to find some deaf person talking! Got her hearing aids and started speech therapy with an absolute useless but famous hearing aid clinic! She wouldn’t give me hope that Prisha would talk. I was depressed, low and miserable looking at my deaf baby with hearing aids who would throw them out often. Nights were long and days made me anxious. One such day went to this clinic for change of tubes. We looked around for talking deaf all the time. I waited and we saw this young 16-17 year old arguing with her mom! She had hearing aids and spoke so well!! My husband reached out and she called us outside the clinic. She pressed a phone no in his hand and said, if you can survive this lady for 3 years, your child would talk!! My husband was excited and soon contacted Alaka Hudlikar. I was asked to come with my baby to her house and I sat at the back of her class on a bed. She had 4 kids sitting on the mat while she spoke with them in Marathi. I wondered what this old lady would teach as these were modern times! As class began I saw beautiful interaction of these kids with her in clear spoken language! It was at that moment I knew she will make my Prisha talk! She sent us home and said she would call us! She didn’t! I was desperate and one day sat in a temple on her birthday and cried asking for help! Next day she called me! I was her student who needed to come once a week and attend classes! There began a journey which changed my life, thoughts and a path was created! It was the beginning of the most amazing yet difficult phase of my life! I was told to pay 300Rs a month and come for an hour. Yet I was told to report 30 mins before the class and play with my child as she watched from the top while doing her morning prayers! She would chant and in between yell out instructions! How did she do that!? I was scared of her! Yet I would be there! Why did she charge 300Rs only for 8 classes when my audiologist was charging me 150Rs for an hour with terrible therapy and no results! She wanted to make speech accessible to the poorest of poor! No child should be deprived of learning to speak because of lack of money including the vegetable vendor to the fisherman and middle class families! That’s what she was! We learnt amazing things over years for that amount till one day we mothers decided we needed to increase it as it was too less. So with much ado she made it 500Rs! Absolutely peanuts when every other was making money with bad therapy! To me that was miracle in my life! I had found my mentor! The only person who would make My Prisha talk! For that I was ready to go to any extent! I picked my diary and started speech therapy that changed the course of my life and gave me a direction towards a brighter future. She also opened doors from a suppressed, aimless and worthless life to a life filled with purpose and passion! This Angel from my belly had led to another Angel to bring more meaning to an otherwise ordinary life! Isn’t that amazing?