WACKO Patrol

What do you think happened? 😂🤣😎

CTTO

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Mapapakanta ka!

God is watching you
KEEP SAFE DISTANCE

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MILYONARYO

Teacher: Class imagine nyu na kayo ay milyonaryo, isulat nyu sa papel ang inyung mga activities.

Students: Yes Ma'am.

Teacher: Juan, bakit di ka pa nagsusulat?

Juan: Ma'am, inaantay ko pa po ang secretarya ko.

😜🤪🤩

PANTY NI MISIS!

Dalawang magkaopisina nag uusap sa loob ng opisina.

Lalaki 1: Mauna na akong umuwi pre. Gustong gusto ko nang HUBARIN ANG PANTY ni misis ko.

Lalaki 2: Wow! Pare, sobrang hot na hot ka ngayon ah..

Lalaki 1: Hindi noh! sobrang masikip na sakin eh.

SI JUAN NA NAMAN!

Teacher: Ang score ni Juan ay 99%.

Juan: Ohh anu!!! Kaya nyu yan? Hindi pa ako nagrereview nyan. Huwag na kayong mag-aral kung ako sa inyu umuwi na lang kayo. Low IQ!!! Mga utak manok kayo! Nangingitlog na naman kayo, sinayang niyo lang tuition niyo. (mayabang na sabi ni Juan sa kanyan mga kaklase).

Teacher: The rest 100%

Juan bida sa English

Teacher: Juan, give me a sentence.

Juan: My teacher is beautiful, isn't she?

Teacher: Very good! Please translate in Tagalog.

Juan: Ang aking g**o ay maganda, hindi naman diba?

😜👩‍💼

Mainit si Mister

Mister: Honey, pwede ka ba ngayon?

Misis: Hindi, Pagod ako!

Mister: Is that your final answer?

Misis: Final answer!

Mister: Can I call a friend?

😜😂🤗

Yaya yatch

Alaga: Yaya look, boats!

Yaya: Dows are nut boats, deyr yats.

Alaga: Yaya spell yatch.

Yaya: Yur rayt, dey are boats.

🤣😝😜

SonofabitchAdam:

I used to babysit this little boy who was a real handful. He was always in trouble and it seemed like every time his dad had to call him it went like this…

Dad finds disaster left by Adam.

Dad yells out, “Son of a Bitch! Adam!”

One day I have to pick up Adam’s older brother at school. A Catholic school.

His teacher, a nun, sees adorable little Adam with his chubby cheeks and face like a cherub and asks him his name and he answers flat out, “SonofabitchAdam.”

THERMOMETER

Nurse: Doc, bakit po may thermometer kayo sa tenga?

Doctor: Naku! Kaninong pwet kaya ng pasyente naiwan ko ang ballpen ko.

😝😝😝

BIRD NI FATHER

Isang araw nawala ang bird ni Father, dahil sa sobrang mahal niya to, nanawagan siya sa misa.

Pari: Anyone fot a bird?

Lahat ng mga lalaki tumayo.

Pari: I mean anyone seen a bird?

Lahat ng babae tumayo.

Pari: I mean anyone seen my bird?

Lahat ng madre tumayo.

🤣😜🤪😂

Ow, my s**t!:

When I was a kid, I was always excited to learn new vocabulary. When I was in first grade, my teacher taught me that “shin” was another word for leg.

Later that day, I was walking with my mom, when I tripped and hit my leg on the ground really hard. I yelled out “OW, MY SHIN” although my mom heard “OW, MY SH*T.” She started yelling about how that was a bad word and we didn’t say that word, and she was going to wash my mouth out with soap. I was a crying, bawling mess of a child, to the point I was doing that weird cry, stutter, hiccup noise. She paused in berating me and said “Who taught you that word?!” Of course, I told the truth and said “M-m-my teacher t-t-t-taught me that word!” and she started ranting about how she was going to call the school and get that teacher yelled at.

I tried to explain, “T-te-teacher said that shin meant leg I’m SO SORRY ILL N-N-NE-ne-never say it again.” My mom got quiet and realized her mistake. “…What did you say?”

Of course I started crying harder and I said “NO it’s just a test you’re going to wash my mouth out with soap again.”

When I finally calmed down enough to say it again, my mom apologized and to this day I always say “shin” loudly just to see her face blush.