A Pathway to You - Online Therapy in Florida
Dr. Stephani Jahn, LMHC, NCC. I help college students and emerging adults heal their relationship wi
Your childhood emotional needs mattered. When these kinds of needs have gone unmet, a child's nervous system struggles to develop the ability to regulate emotions and experience emotional safety. This can lead to adult experiences of triggering and emotional flashbacks, like overwhelm, shame, hopelessness, anxiety, and many other painful experiences.
While your childhood can't be re-written to fix attachment misattunement, it is possible to grow and heal from these experiences in adulthood. You can work to form new, positive relationships within yourself, in which you hear and meet your own emotional needs in powerful ways. This can lead to reduced triggering and more ability to live with empowerment and authenticity in the present moment.
I encourage you to consider seeking therapy to support your healing process, as this kind of work can be sensitive. I have current openings for telehealth services in Florida (see link in bio).
Developing trust in your intuition will look different depending on where you begin in terms of self-trust and self-awareness. If you struggle with this, begin by practicing noticing your body sensations and emotions as parts of your valid inner world. Journal and reflect on those inner signals. Make some low-stakes choices off of your gut feelings. Picking out what to wear or eat, for example, can be based on what feels right or good in the moment. Then you can build up to including intuition in handling bigger things in your life, like how to start a difficult conversation or which job to take.
Image description: all images have the same background of a swirl of jewel-tone paints covered by a semi-transparent magenta box. The words for each image are:
-Intuitions are based on compilations of subconscious awareness, learnings over time, and subtle responses in the nervous system to your environment.
-You can raise your awareness of your pre/non/unconscious experiences with practice.
Try noticing the subtler facets of your experience. Try taking a stance that every part of your experience offers value, and bring curiosity to what comes up.
-Some ways you can explore this way of knowing include...
creating art
exploring with sandtray
mindfulness/meditations
body awareness/somatic work
reflecting on dreams
connecting with your parts
interpretive card decks
-Intuition complements rational thinking. It is a valuable part of you. Accessing your intuition helps you have a fuller toolbox for navigating life.
You are the person in the best position to know yourself, and you are worth knowing deeply.
-New media contribution on Skill Success blog "20 intuition quotes to reach higher consciousness" link in bio
-How do you connect with your intuition? Share in the comments!
Some lighter inner child moments.
Image description: All images have a gray-blue background with a torn-off square of paper and a blue flower at the corner. The words are different on each and say:
-Dear inner child, I see you created something and are feeling proud of it. Thank you for sharing this with me. Your creativity is so special.
-Dear inner child, You are having so much fun right now! I'm having a lot of fun sharing this moment with you, too.
-Dear inner child, You seem to be looking for some comfort right now. Let's snuggle up with this blanket for a bit before we do anything else.
-Dear inner child, I hear you really want to do something fun today. There's a lot to get done, but let's make it a game! Let's pick the most fun song we can clean up to!
-Send your inner child some love. Follow for more.
Original post credit: manasidalvi.com
Image description: black text on a white background, saying,
Dear Inner Child
I'm sorry you had to be strong when all you needed was to be safe.
You don't need to act strong anymore. You can let go and I'll hold you.
Notes to the Inner Child (swipe for more).
Image descriptions: All images are of a lavender background featuring a torn-off square piece of paper with a small purple wildflower by the corner. The words of each image are different:
-Dear inner child, I see you're very worried about burdening others. I want you to know that your existence is a gift. Thank you for being here.
-Dear inner child, I know people have always complimented you for being so mature. It's okay to be silly, to not know, to change your mind, and to cry, too.
-Dear inner child, I notice you're feeling sad. All your feelings are welcome with me. I want to take some time now to understand. (*hug*)
-Dear inner child, I see you're afraid to speak up right now. Your needs are important. When you're afraid, I am here for you and I can speak up for you.
-Dear inner child, I hear you feel responsible for other people's feelings. Adults are responsible for their own feelings and actions. And I am responsible for you.
-Send your inner child some love. Follow for more.
This week I'm posting about the inner child. Follow for self-talk suggestions to support healing that inner relationship.
Image description: On a cream background, four white boxes with tan and black borders, featuring these words...
3 SIGNS OF A WOUNDED INNER CHILD
1. You judge yourself excessively and are scared that others see you're making mistakes.
2. You feel something is wrong with you that can't be "fixed."
3. You believe that you're responsible for the emotional state of others and that you have to give yourself up to please others.
Original post credit to
Take a moment to reflect on how far you've come. Try to practice this regularly. Celebrate your progress, even with small moments of self-talk. When it's a practiced habit to recall your healing progress, when you stumble, you'll be more ready to remind yourself of how *this* stumble is different. This is a new opportunity to keep learning and growing. Just like many times before, you WILL be able to use this challenge to continue healing and affirming your worth.
Image description: drawing of an owl sitting cozily on a branch next to handwritten words, "it's worth noticing how far you've come," from
This is the area of healing that I'm most passionate about. I especially value opportunities to help people heal from the kind of trauma that can often go overlooked because it happened in family relationships during childhood, often through small events or hidden aspects of relationships.
Complex trauma also includes bigger-context "relationships," like on the societal level. This includes how society harms people of color and other oppressed groups through bias and systems of oppression, perpetuated by individuals.
There are often intergenerational trends to both of these arenas of harm, and they influence each other. Many people experience both as sources of injury, and this adds complexity to the trauma.
The wounds from this kind of trauma are often invisible but so very important. Healing the sense of self that is injured, and reclaiming the rights listed at the bottom of the image, is a process that can be deeply difficult and profoundly beautiful. Each step towards healing matters, and the work does get easier with support, practice, and time.
Image description: Green, pink, gold, and red abstract hills under a pink sky, with the words "Complex Trauma = Relational Trauma = Loss of Self in order to Survive.
Healing = Reclaiming...
our stories, our boundaries, our bodies, our feelings, our choices, ourselves."
original image from
For those who aren't ready to buy into this self-compassion stuff yet, check out for evidence-based info on what self-compassion really is and why it's NOT going to make you a lazy loser. 😉
Image description: On a light-pink background is handwritten-style text saying "WAYS TO PRACTICE Self-Compassion." Below in a pink oval for each statement, words say:
"Notice what you're doing "right".
Ask for help when you need it.
Let go of expectations.
Practice positive self-talk.
Practice mindfulness.
Focus on your strengths.
Set boundaries.
Remember to practice gratitude." image credit:
Your feelings matter. Even when they are over something that might be called "little," if you have big feelings about it, there is *something* there that matters and, to you, is big.
Maybe it's not something on the surface or even in the present experience. When you bring gentle curiosity and and open mind, you may discover that underneath there is a meaning-layer that your heart is responding to. Is this actually about something bigger than it appears, like fears of a lost future? Is there an old wound from the past that is being touched on?
Even when you don't know "what this is about," you can still seek to hold trust that your process is valid and moving towards a greater good in the big picture. As you gain experience on your healing path, you might see this happen a few times; you can learn to trust that you will later understand, and that can bring reassurance in the uncertainty. It's okay to have feelings that you don't understand and to hold space for understanding to develop with time and reflection.
Image description: Off-white background with pink and gray rounded shapes at the corners, saying "Nothing that grieves us can be called little. By the eternal law of proportions, a child's loss of a doll and a king's loss of his crown are events of the same size. -MARK TWAIN" credit for original image:
Which of these did you need today? Add your own in the comments!
Image from . Image description: On a dark gray background, in gray bubble letters "reminders for healing my inner child" surrounded by images of people caring for themselves and these phrases scattered around: "I am not weak for having feelings of struggling. My trauma and feelings are valid. I am enough no matter where I am in my healing process. I can & will heal - slow progress is still progress. I am worthy just as I am - have always been and will always be. I do not need to earn love, approval, or my worth from others. I am not responsible for anyone else's feelings or actions. I am brave even when I feel scared. I do not owe anyone comfort with the boundaries I set to protect myself."
You are deeply and complexly beautiful as a person, even on the worst days.
Image description: Black text on white background saying "The real glow up is when you stop waiting to turn into some perfect version of yourself & consciously enjoy being who you are in the present."
Because shame can be such a major dimension of crisis, acceptance and support from loved ones is incredibly valuable. Understand that your loved one is not choosing to be in distress and their responses to their distress are led by biological and psychological processes over which they have little control. Your acceptance and support can help them gain ground in this situation to recover and even grow from it.
When you see signs of distress in a loved one, you can gently but clearly invite them to talk with you about it. You can express your concern and care. You can't make someone share with you, but you can let them know you are available for support. It especially helps if you can let them know that you are not going to judge them--not just by saying so, but by demonstrating your acceptance and non-judgment through your actions with them, even before they share what is going on.
KEY RESOURCES:
☎️The National Su***de and Crisis Lifeline: Call 988
☎️National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI) HelpLine: Call or text 800-950-6264
📱Crisis Text Line: Text "HOME" to 741-741
☎️📱The Trevor Project hotline for LGBTQIA+ youth: Call 1-866-488-7386, or text "START" to 678-678
☎️📱BlackLine crisis call line for BIPOC: Call or text 1 (800) 604-5841
☎️Trans Lifeline crisis hotline: Call 877-565-8860
See the article with more tips and perspectives by . Link in bio.
Image descriptions: DM or see alt text.
A little tip for bringing in self-compassion when you are upset with yourself.
Image description: All images are of a bright blue watery background with different text, as follows:
1. Why would I do that? Read on for tips when you have this thought. [Pink "swipe" sticker.]
2. Your behaviors, thoughts, feelings, and sensations DO make sense, it's just a matter of perspective.
3. When you find yourself judging yourself for your experience, pause to get curious. My trick is to keep the question but change the tone...
4. Instead of saying accusingly, with frustration, "WHY would I do that?!" try saying to yourself gently, genuinely, with curiosity and care, "why WOULD I do that?"
5. Ask that with as much trust in yourself as you can muster. Try to ask like you believe there is a good answer. (I believe there is. You can borrow from my trust in you, if it helps.)
6. Just because you don't understand something in your inner world doesn't mean it isn't perfectly reasonable. So many "senseless" things we feel/think/do are based in essential survival responses connected to trauma that might not have been validated yet, but is still absolutely real.
7. You won't be able to hear the deep, vulnerable answers to the question "why would I do that?" if you're mentally yelling at yourself. Pause to take a breath and approach yourself with the goodwill you deserve.
8. Try to hold a little space for the possibility that you AREN'T as bad as you fear. In fact, maybe you're working quite hard to do your best in a difficult situation. Giving yourself that credit can make it that little bit easier.
I'll share more thoughts on this in a future post. For today, I encourage you to try to hold some space for the depth and complexity of even the most seemingly-senseless struggles. You are doing the best you can, in every way, and you deserve your compassion in that, even if it doesn't all make sense right now.
Image from . Image description: a light blue background with the words "the thing that's bothering you is not always the thing that's *actually* bothering you. dig deeper."
(belated post bc I'm learning to use social media still 🙃)
My little contribution for World Mental Health Day. I hope these tips and reminders may intersect with some of your reflections and growth processes to support you in cultivating more wellness for yourself. Remember, your wellness helps you add to others' wellness.
How can you honor your pain, truths, and needs in this moment?
My favorite boosts are a decaf PSL and standing up and stretching my hip flexors and back.
What would give you a jitters-free boost today? Feel free to share your favorite pick-me-up self-care strategy and beverage in the comments!
Image description: Light pink background with three coffee cups drawn in shades of pink and tan. The handwritten-style text says "fuel up with what you really need" and the cup labels say "meditation, rest/sleep, and good music." Below in parentheses: "and coffee... just make mine a decaf." The logo for A Pathway to You is at the bottom.
Your feelings know what you need. Even the very scariest ones--in fact, maybe especially those. Listen with care and trust yourself as you deepen your commitment to living your truth, bit by bit.
Image description: On a white background, in blue-and-pink swirl-filled words in all caps say "That existential dread is actually just directing you towards what it is life wants you to do today to honor it. Sonya Renee Taylor."
I've always felt like October is the time of the year that is busiest for students. Midterms come on fast and hard, campus activities ramp up, and it just seems like everything is due while responsibilities and planning for future challenges also begin to press. Procrastination and overwhelm can start to make a big impact at times like this.
As your life's demands continue or multiply this month, I encourage you to keep an eye out for your signs of stress. Notice how they start small, if you can catch it at that point. The moment of recognizing a little tension in your jaw, fatigue, hunger, irritation, ringing in your ears, or loneliness, or checking out mentally/emotionally... Regardless when you notice it, try to take a step in a positive direction in response to that awareness. Practice noticing those little cues of stress and responding to them, and over time you'll become more skilled and ready to head off that stress-building process. It's not a cure-all, but it's a huge building block for creating more wellness in your life.
Considering that it's also the time of year when humidity and temperatures start to drop--and if you're with me in the swampy doldrums we also get the occasional breeze (!)--you might want to make contact with nature a resource that you tap into. I'm making it a goal to spend more time outdoors in this season, whether that's taking my laptop on the porch at "get-sh*t-done 'o-clock," or meditating in a beautiful spot outside. I'm also embracing the self-care accessories of hoodies and warm drinks, along with their inner parallels like self-encouragement and self-compassion.
Wishing you wellness this month. ~Stephani
Image description: Three watercolor waves in different shades of pink cascade across the image background, with a friendly font saying "Hello October. We meet again. Let's do this!" and the logo for A Pathway to You at the bottom.
"Have you ever wondered if your parents are emotionally abusive? It can be tough to tell, especially if you’ve grown up with them your entire life and become used to it. According to experts, here are the signs of emotionally abusive parents." Read my contribution and the full article on . (Link in bio.)
Yes, you can teach yourself new habits. Keys are to break them down into small, achievable actions that can be practiced consistently. Linking a new habit with existing habits, either as a replacement action, or by "habit stacking," which is adding new small habits onto existing habits. (For example, if you already brush your teeth before bed, habit stack by journaling right after you brush before bed, instead of at another time of day.)
It's also important to troubleshoot when you fall off the wagon. Instead of being failures, these are opportunities to improve your strategy! Notice what barrier prevented you from following through. Was your habit goal too big, like meditating for 20 minutes when you're only ready to do 5 or 10? Do you need to tweak the time of day or location where you'll work on this habit, like studying at a library instead of a coffee shop, or morning instead of night? Do you need to make the habit more pleasant, like listening to music while you clean your apartment? Do you need a reminder, like a push notification that it's time to stretch? Remember you are in charge, and you can make whatever tweaks are needed to move things in a positive direction, even a little.
**Remember that when it comes to building good habits, poorly done is better than not done at all.**
Praise yourself for any small successes. Even just remembering after the fact that you meant to do something new reinforces your sense of intention and is a form of mental rehearsal--just keep that self-talk encouraging.
Therapy can be a great resource to help you build new, helpful habits. A therapist can help you identify your genuine motivations and goals, so you put in the right efforts. We can help you notice your progress, problem-solve, and keep you in touch with your sense of hope during challenges. Also, some "bad habits" may actually be related to neurodivergence, mental health symptoms, or trauma, so a therapist can help you approach those things in ways that may be more appropriate for your situation.
More info at link in bio.
Why are habits important?
Small actions are the foundation for many of the bigger ways our lives develop. Cultivating positive habits allows positive things to grow over time, and curbing unhelpful habits can help reduce the negative things in life. Positive habits can support resilience to stress, so that life's challenges don't hit quite as hard as they otherwise might.
How are habits helpful?
Looking at life in terms of small actions that create larger trends can be empowering and gives meaning to actions that may be tedious but valuable. After habits are established as part of your routine, they reduce mental load and stress. The cumulative effects of habitual positive actions will begin to show over time, and can increase your motivation to keep going and to add more good habits!
Love em or hate em, habits are a part of your life. Its a process that takes time and intention, but you have the power to change your day-to-day life and the big picture by working on your habits.
Learn more in this article from (featuring yours truly😉).
Open Path Collective connects those with financial hardship or insurance limitations with reduced-fee therapy. Visit their site to verify your eligibility and to find a provider with openings - link in bio.
Open Path Psychotherapy Collective
Original from .mama.healing
Building safety within our body and nervous system is not a one-size-fit-all approach.
It is a unique practice that is built upon befriending, awareness and loads and loads of self compassion!!
There are many barriers to reaching out for mental health care. This article has tips for how to overcome them, and some great options for sources of support. If you're on the fence about seeking care, or know someone who might be, check it out! via .com
"Boundaries can empower you..."
Check out my latest feature in an article from .com
Therapist red flags from Teletherapist Network
"1. Poor boundaries - too much self disclosure."
Human connection in the therapy relationship is important! Your therapist should bring their authentic self so you feel welcomed as *your* authentic self, and so you can form a genuine connection together. That said, the therapist should not pull the focus from you in the conversation. If your therapist's story-telling is too much or doesn't relate to your needs, that's a sign that it's not the right situation for you.
"2. Specializes in everything - it's not possible to be an expert in everything."
Some providers are generalists who are able to help to a certain extent with a variety of common concerns. This can be great when you want someone who can explore a range of areas of your life with you, and there aren't any particularly intense concerns. On the other hand, some client needs or therapy approaches require more specialized knowledge, like complex trauma or some embodied techniques. It's appropriate to ask a therapist about their training and experience in whatever brings you in to reassure yourself you're in good hands.
"3. Invalidation - a therapist should validate your feelings and emotions."
This doesn't mean a therapist will be a "yes-person" to every single thing you say. But they should validate your experiences, feelings, and motivations--while gently challenging you to consider alternatives when your goals or pain-points suggest that might be helpful. Most importantly, you shouldn't experience a therapist shaming you for your feelings or anything else.
"4. Not a good match - not every therapist can treat every client."
Not everybody jives the same way; personality match matters in therapy. Also, sometimes therapist and client approaches to healing just don't line up (like if a counselor's conceptualization is all about the cognitive angle while a client craves more emotional or somatic approaches). These are times when it's really okay to call it and move on, knowing that it's not anything wrong with either person, it's just not the right fit.
This week I'm looking at ways to overcome things that prevent people from getting help when they need it. The final post in this series is about the feeling of pressure to figure out what you need before reaching out for help.
If you feel "off" but don’t have a sense of what exactly is wrong or what could help, you may feel some shame or embarrassment in trying to seek support from a friend, therapist, or other helper. Sometimes it feels like you have to already have so much figured out to be able to get someone on board to support you. This can especially be the case for invisible or stigmatized problems like those related to mental health. It can feel embarrassing to share that you feel like a mess and don't know what's really wrong.
When you feel distressed and don't know what could help, processing this confusion and uncertainty with a trusted friend or mentor could be valuable. Try sharing just a little of the problem at first to see how you feel about their response. Then, as it feels safe, you can share more.
Another option is to call a support hotline or warmline to discuss what you're experiencing. With this kind of resource, you can expect that they've heard this kind of confusion before and may know how to help you sort through it.
When those ideas feel too vulnerable, solo options are any form of personal reflection like journaling, prayer, or meditation to gently explore your uncertainty. The goal would be primarily to acknowledge what it is like to be so unclear and in need, rather than trying to force your confusion into clarity.
Ideally, if you can allow yourself to commit to a session or two of therapy before you know your goals, a therapist can help you tune in and sort through what is going on to identify what kind of support you need to find relief.
This week I'm looking at ways to overcome things that prevent people from getting help when they need it. Today, I’m discussing how a sense of overwhelm can prevent or interrupt help-seeking.
Mental health struggles often inherently make it harder and harder to get almost anything done. The logistical and emotional tasks of finding, contacting, and meeting with a therapist or other helper, as well as ensuring they're a good fit for you and your needs, can all be a lot to manage on top of daily life that may already feel like too much.
To help with overwhelm, both practical and emotional coping strategies may be valuable.
First, do a little bit to soothe your emotional overwhelm by taking some cleansing breaths and giving yourself some validation and words of encouragement ("this feels like a lot to deal with, but I'm going to handle this one little bit at a time").
Then, practically, you may want to start by listing out the first few tiny steps that will be involved in seeking help. This list might say things like:
1. find insurance card,
2. call insurance and ask for covered therapists (write down their names and phone numbers),
3. write a phone/voicemail script asking about availability and giving contact info,
4. call one therapist to talk or leave voicemail,
5. continue calling one per day until an appointment is booked.
Getting a friend on board who can support you through this process could also be very helpful.
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