Amy Marlow-MaCoy, LPC

Happy holidays, friends! I’m so glad you’re here, and I hope today is restorative and full of joy for you.

My gift to you? A gentle reminder to revisit your boundaries as needed today and this week.

During this time of year, boundaries can often get a bit blurry. It’s hard to know when and how to set healthy guidelines for friends and family during the festivities - especially if you’re feeling overwhelmed or triggered. And you're not alone in this battle!

Consider this your toolkit for evaluating your boundaries.

3 Reminders for Holiday Boundaries

Your Comfort Matters: Remember, saying 'no' to uncomfortable situations isn't selfish; it's self-care. You're the guardian of your comfort zone.

Respect Goes Both Ways: Just like exchanging gifts, boundaries should be respected mutually. Your boundaries deserve as much respect as you give to others.

It's a Season, Not a Free Pass: The holiday season doesn't mean your boundaries take a holiday. Know your limits and don’t be afraid to keep those boundaries firm. They're important all year round, especially now.

Boundaries aren’t just lines in the snow – they're the framework for a happier, healthier holiday. What boundary are you setting this season?

Trauma doesn’t care if it’s Christmas or not . . .

Have you ever noticed how the holidays can sometimes increase your client’s triggers?

This season, as a counselor dedicated to those who carry these invisible burdens, it’s your gentle task to transform the festive chill into a sanctuary of warmth.

Embrace these five trauma-informed strategies, each crafted to provide comfort and grounding, like a well-worn pair of slippers. From creating non-triggering holiday rituals to offering flexible scheduling around stressful dates, every action you take is a thread in the tapestry of support you provide.

Encourage your clients to engage in self-soothing techniques that resonate with them—be it through mindful meditation amidst the holiday chaos or finding solace in personal spaces decked with soothing lights rather than overwhelming glitz. It’s about curating a holiday experience that acknowledges their past while making room for new, peaceful memories.

Consider reminding them they do not have to participate in the holidays just because others do. For clients with religious and/or family trauma, Christmas and other religious holidays may feel like torture rather than celebration. It is okay to opt out of the celebrations that carry more pain than joy.

And let’s not forget, amidst the bustle of festive cheer, your role extends beyond the counselor’s chair. It’s about anchoring your clients in the here and now, where they can gaze at the holiday lights and see hope—a reflection of the resilience and strength they hold within.

After all, the true spirit of the season for a counselor lies in the gift of unwavering support, empathy, and the safe space you offer—far more precious than any tinsel or turkey could ever be.

Feeling a little . . . overwhelmed by all the holiday hubbub? I got you!

Sometimes we can get caught up in the whirlwind of holiday chaos (believe me, I know!). The lights, decorations, parties, and gifts can really throw off our whole daily routine.

For anyone who’s experienced abuse or trauma, routine can be a lighthouse in the storm.

Now I know what you may be thinking: “I’m SO overwhelmed! How can I possibly do one more thing?!”

Let me assure you: if you have just one minute of spare time, practicing just one of these small habits can help you feel a little bit more grounded, a little calmer, and a little more yourself. And don’t forget that you are worthy of your own care and compassion.

My challenge to you: Make a point to practice one of these for just one minute for three days. Think of it as an anchoring exercise; one that, over time, can help you keep triggers at bay.

You deserve a comforting ritual, especially when the world feels unpredictable. What's one part of your daily routine that brings you peace during the holidays? Share below!

5 Small Ways to Embrace Routine This Holiday

Morning Mindfulness: Start your day grounded with a simple mindfulness practice. It can be as quick as five deep breaths or a few minutes of meditation.

Scheduled Self-Care: Block out time for self-care activities. Whether it's reading, a warm bath, or a walk, make it a non-negotiable appointment with yourself.

Nutrition at Regular Intervals: Eating balanced meals at set times can help regulate your mood and energy levels, keeping you nourished and resilient.

Consistent Sleep Patterns: Aim for a regular sleep schedule. Restorative sleep is a powerful tool in managing stress and emotional triggers.

Movement Breaks: Incorporate short movement breaks throughout the day. It could be stretching, yoga, or a quick walk. Movement helps release tension and maintain focus.

Dreading family gatherings this year?

Sometimes the holidays can bring more than just cheer, stirring up some deep-seated emotions and unexpected triggers.

So when you feel triggered at that next big family event, don’t let those feelings dampen the day. Doing gentle breathing exercises can make all the difference.

With these breathing techniques, you can find moments of calm amidst the festivities. Despite the past, you hold the power of calm within you. Feel free to save this for the next time you need a moment to breathe.

Remember, if breathing feels stressful or you find yourself hyperventilating, consider using other grounding exercises like feeling the comfort of a soft-textured object, enjoying the aroma of a fragrance that uplifts your spirits, or savoring something delicious.

Let’s be honest…whoever said, "It's the most wonderful time of the year," probably didn't have to navigate the holidays while recovering from narcissistic abuse.

While it might not be ideal, there are ways to navigate this tricky time of year. You can rewrite your holiday script.

And one of the best ways to do that is for you to take time to process, to think, and to feel.

It might feel scary - you may want to run away! But kind attention to yourself; giving yourself space to process this might just be exactly what your healing heart needs.

Have you ever stopped to think about the magnetic power of gratitude? It's not just a buzzword or a journal prompt—it's a lens that can quite literally transform how you see your world. It's like emotional alchemy, turning what we have into more than enough.

Think of gratitude as your life's editor, refining the raw footage of your past and present, and drafting hope for your future. It doesn't erase the tough scenes; it recasts them in light of where you’re headed, because that place is good, full of healing and redemption.

So as we enter this season of thanks, ask yourself: What am I grateful for today? Your answer, over time, could become the cornerstone of a more peaceful, hopeful you.

Drop a 🌟 in the comments if you're all in for cultivating more gratitude this season, and share what you're most thankful for!

I know, I know: you know you *should* practice healthy boundaries during the holidays . . . but you’re probably at a loss about where to begin.

I've curated a list of 19 phrases you can wield like a lightsaber to establish those ever-so-necessary boundaries. It's like having a toolkit for your soul; whether you need to carve out alone time or sidestep touchy topics, there's a phrase for you.

What phrases are you planning to keep in your back pocket this year? Share in the comments below to help someone else keep their boundaries strong. 🙏

Navigating the holidays post-trauma can feel like juggling flaming torches while tightrope walking. Let's bring that tightrope closer to the ground, shall we?

The holiday season may have its challenges, but remember—you're a warrior, not a worrier.

Preparing for the Holidays After Trauma: A Survivor's Guide

🛑 Step 1: Review Your Boundaries

Think of boundaries as your emotional security system. Be clear with yourself about what you can handle, from social events to family obligations. Make sure to check in with yourself about why they’re needed and how they’re going to protect you.

💼 Step 2: Pack an Emotional First Aid Kit

Create a go-to list of soothing activities, coping strategies, and tried and true supporters. Maybe it's a playlist of calming tunes, a pocket journal, or even a trusted friend on speed dial. Your tribe will be able to support you and encourage you to protect yourself and your boundaries.

🌱 Step 3: Pre-plan Your Self-care Routine

Anticipate your needs before the whirlwind starts. Schedule downtime, walks, or meditation sessions. The aim is to recharge your batteries so you can face the season with as much grace as a ballet dancer avoiding legos on a stage.

Share your own coping strategies below, you never know who you might help!

Hey, fellow counselors! Big news—the wait is over! My specialized training course on navigating the complexities of narcissistic abuse is officially OPEN! You've been craving these skill upgrades, and I'm here to deliver.

Ready to step into your practice with newfound confidence and a toolkit that's truly transformative? From today, the door to this unique opportunity swings wide open. Don't miss your chance to make a lasting impact on your clients' lives (and boost your professional fulfillment while you're at it). DM me ASAP to claim your spot; places are filling up faster than you can say breakthrough therapy!

Let's elevate the world of mental health, one client, one counselor, at a time.

Ever wondered what happens in your brain when you're triggered after experiencing narcissistic abuse? Here’s a little neuroscience 101 tour that could help you heal.

Healing is a journey, and you don't have to walk it alone. Drop a ❤️ if this resonates with you or tag someone who needs to see this!

An awareness of your need can be the first step to empowerment.

If you’re a counselor, chances are that you’ve felt at a loss in at least one counseling session.

Maybe there’s a question you’re not sure how to address. Maybe you’re unsure of how to help foster healing and acceptance in a particular challenging situation for your client.

Chances are, some of you have felt that exact feeling when helping victims of narcissistic abuse.

Imagine the confidence you'd feel, knowing you're offering impactful guidance your clients genuinely need. I've got good news for you! I'm about to drop a game-changing training course that's designed to level up your skills in this very area. Slide into my DMs to join the waitlist and be among the first to elevate your practice.

Ready to change the narrative for both you and your clients? Don't let this opportunity pass you by.

Ever find yourself searching for more effective strategies to help your clients break free from the vicious cycle of narcissistic abuse? Do you wish you could enter these therapy sessions armed with an arsenal of proven techniques?

Imagine the confidence you'd feel, knowing you're offering impactful guidance your clients genuinely need. I've got good news for you! I'm about to drop a game-changing training course that's designed to level up your skills in this very area. Slide into my DMs to join the waitlist and be among the first to elevate your practice.

Ready to change the narrative for both you and your clients? Don't let this opportunity pass you by.

Ever find yourself in an emotional tug-of-war and wishing for a referee?

Journaling can be that silent but opinionated friend who lets you vent without interruption. Especially if you're healing from narcissistic abuse, journaling is like your emotional dumping ground. No judgments here, only paper and ink (or pixels, if you're a digital diary devotee). Your journal doesn't gaslight; it highlights—and sometimes, that's the glow-up we all need.

Ready to unburden those feelings onto some good ol' paper? Swipe right to see our tips and prompts for turning your journal into your personal emotional toolkit. Who knew paper could be so therapeutic?

Drop a like if you're committed to starting your journaling journey for recovery!

Ever feel like you need more tools to help your clients navigate narcissistic abuse? Want to be able to handle these sessions with confidence? DM me to get on the waitlist for my new training course!!

Bonus ideas in the caption!

Feel like the shorter days and less sunlight is getting to you?

1. Get Moving: Exercise is a proven mood booster. While it might be tempting to hibernate as the weather gets colder, even a short 20-minute walk can do wonders for your mental well-being. Whether it's a home workout, a quick jog, or even a yoga session, get those endorphins flowing!

2. Social Connection: Feeling isolated can exacerbate the November Blues. Make plans to meet friends for a coffee or a virtual chat, or engage in community events that interest you. The mere act of planning something can give you something to look forward to, acting as a mini mood-booster.

3. Light Therapy: One of the reasons for seasonal mood changes is the lack of sunlight, which can affect your serotonin levels. Investing in a light therapy lamp or making an effort to spend some time outside during daylight can help regulate your mood.

4. Mindfulness and Meditation: Taking time out of your day to meditate or practice mindfulness can have a significant impact on your mental state. Even just 10 minutes of focusing on your breathing and being present can reduce stress and anxiety, helping to combat those November Blues.

5. Dive into a Creative Project: Channel your energy into something constructive and rewarding. Whether it's painting, writing, cooking, or any other creative endeavor, the process can act as an emotional outlet and give you a sense of accomplishment that lifts your spirits.

Feel free to mix and match these tips to tailor a November survival strategy that works best for you!

Have you ever wondered what a narcissist looks for in a romantic partner? It's a peculiar blend that has less to do with love and more to do with fulfilling their own needs.

Narcissists often seek partners who play a specific role in their narrative, not someone who exists as a full-fledged individual with needs and desires. The six traits below are commonly sought after by narcissists in romantic relationships, and they might surprise you.

If you're catching a whiff of narcissism in your relationship, it might be time to reevaluate. Take stock and ask yourself, "Am I a fully-realized individual in this relationship, or am I serving someone else’s needs at the expense of my own?"

Share your thoughts or experiences without naming names. Let's keep the convo healthy and supportive, shall we?

Were you aware of these facts? Or perhaps you have experienced gaslighting in a non-romantic relationship? Share your thoughts and insights in the comments to foster a community of understanding and empathy.

Ever find yourself caught up in the hustle and bustle of daily life, forgetting to take a moment to appreciate the little things? You're not alone.

Gratitude isn't just a buzzword; it's a practice that can ground us, bringing joy and fulfillment into our daily lives.

Here are some of my favorite practices:

Daily Gratitude Journal
Start or end your day by listing three things you're thankful for in a gratitude journal. It encourages a positive perspective.

Gratitude Jar
Create a gratitude jar. Whenever something good happens, write it down and put it in the jar. Open it at the end of the year to reflect on all the beautiful moments.

Thank-You Notes
Write thank-you notes to people who have positively impacted your life. It could be a friend, family member, or even a coworker.

Mindful Moments
Pause for a few moments each day to be present and appreciate the small things in life, like a warm cup of tea or a smile from a stranger.

Verbalize Your Appreciation
Don’t keep your gratitude to yourself. Share your appreciation with others openly, express kind words and affirmations.

Whether it’s penning down heartfelt thank-you notes or indulging in mindful moments of appreciation, these practices can be your serene islands in the hectic ocean of daily life.

Which one of these practices resonates with you the most? Do you have a personal gratitude practice that you swear by?

Hey there beautiful souls 💫

In the hustle and bustle of life, I often find myself sprinting tirelessly, sometimes until energies wane and burnout engulfs me.

I’ve come to see it as a sign, a gentle reminder from our being, nudging us to slow down, to breathe, and to lavish ourselves with tender self-care.

So today, I’m talking about a series of self-care strategies, your personal toolkit to navigate the maze of burnout with grace and resilience.

Whether it's indulging in mindfulness practice or weaving magic through creative expressions, these strategies are your little pockets of joy and recovery.

I invite you to pause at the strategy that resonates with you the most. Try it out and share your experiences, insights, or even the hiccups along the way!

Hey kind souls 💖

We stumble upon crossroads every day where we get to choose our path. In the great theater of life, love and fear often take center stage, playing the pivotal roles in scripting our narratives.

As you navigate your day, I encourage you to lean into love, even in the face of fear. Share with me a moment when choosing love transformed a situation for you. Your story might just be the beacon of hope someone needs to see today.

Hello wonderful community 💖

Triggers can bring a whirlwind of emotions, but amidst this turbulence, there exists a haven of calm, awaiting to embrace you. Swipe left to discover tips that offer a gentle hand, guiding you to a space of tranquility and grounding in moments of being triggered.

Which of these tips have you tried? How did it work for you? Sharing your stories can be a beacon for others finding their calm.