Mend Together x Cancer

If you are looking for a virtual shoulder to lean on during cancer, we are here for you.

Click here to connect with others in our new Support Communities: https://www.mendtogether.com/

Meet others like you, ask questions, get guidance, and find inspiration.

🚘 🏥 Time to get creative!

:: Thank you for always making us laugh during difficult times ::

Many of us think of offering to bring food or babysit when someone we love is going through cancer. Cancer patients are also grateful for offers of help with pets, too. An animal companion may not be getting the walks or attention it needs when their caregiver is going through surgeries or treatments.

Our Volunteer Calendar can help you (or someone you know going through cancer) organize fur family support easily. Tap the link in our bio to learn more or visit: https://linktr.ee/wemendtogether

You may think optimism helps someone going through cancer feel better, but it often does the opposite. Even well-intentioned words can cause pain. Instead of accidentally discrediting a cancer patient’s feelings, try saying this instead:

💛 “I hope things are going better.”

💛 “I know cancer hasn’t been easy. If you’d like to talk about some of the harder parts of this, I’m here for you.”

💛 “Don’t feel you need to look on the bright side. It’s ok to be sad about what’s been happening.”

💛 “That sucks.”

For more helpful tips on what to say and not say, tap the link in our bio or click here: https://linktr.ee/wemendtogether

This quote always hits home for us. It has been a devastating week for everyone. Our hearts are with you all. We are here for you if you need a virtual shoulder to lean on during this difficult time. 💛

Having cancer can feel like a full-time job. Responding to each call, email, and text is overwhelming. Don't take offense if your friend doesn’t reply.

You can make their life easier by helping them create a Community Journal where they can update everyone at the same time. Learn more here: https://www.mendtogether.com/landing/journal

✨ By popular demand! You can now connect with other patients or caregivers like you in our new Support Communities. Find emotional support, get insider tips, and gain inspiration from others who have “been there”.

Academic studies show that people who participate in Support Communities experience less pain, depression, and anxiety and more confidence, optimism, and higher quality of life.

🤗 Click here to explore communities now: https://app.mendtogether.com/search

—> Know someone that needs help with what to say (and NOT say) to someone going through cancer? Check out our popular article on this very topic here — and feel free to share. 🙂

👉 https://www.mendtogether.com/advice/

Advice | Mend Together x Cancer Get advice on what works, what doesn't, and how you can make sense of a cancer journey.

We are thrilled to introduce our new Volunteer Calendar! We spent months fine-tuning this new, free resource. Here’s how it works:

- Patients can coordinate offers of help like meals, rides, or prayer calls
- Loved ones can volunteer where support is needed most

Now patients can share when and where support could be helpful. Friends and family can choose to pitch in to lift burdens and spirits -- or suggest ideas of their own. We hope you will check it out here: https://www.mendtogether.com/landing/calendar

Bringing up negative outcomes can be extremely unsettling for cancer patients. No two cancers or experiences are the same. It’s best not to compare stories when considering what to say to a cancer patient. Try these friendly phrases instead:

💛 “What has been the hardest part of your journey?
💛 “Can we figure out together how I can support you with this?”
💛 “I plan to check in with you to see how you’re doing, both during and after treatments. In the meantime, if you ever feel like you are in a tough place, please let me know if you need someone to vent with.”

Click here for more helpful tips for supporting a friend with cancer: https://www.mendtogether.com/

Many of you have asked us to connect you with other patients and caregivers who “get it”. We are thrilled to announce our new Support Communities are about to go live!

Moderated by experts, these unique groups will be a place for helping and healing — all in a private setting. Click here to sign up for our newsletter and get notified when we go live: https://www.mendtogether.com/

Mend Together’s mission is to help you get through life — cancer life. Click here to get emotional, physical, financial, and spiritual support for yourself or someone you love during cancer: https://www.mendtogether.com/

Mend Together You or a friend are dealing with cancer. Now what? Our site makes it easier to give and receive support. And it’s free for everyone. GET STARTED 🔎 Search for someone you know   Take a peek at Mend Together in action FOR PEOPLE WITH CANCER, FRIENDS, FAMILY, AND COLLEAGUESWe help you learn what ...

Are you avoiding your friend with terminal cancer because you don’t know what to say? It’s okay if you feel awkward. Your friend would rather hear something from you than nothing at all.

For practical tips on what to say, do, and give to someone living with metastatic cancer, click here to read advice from people who’ve “been there”: https://www.mendtogether.com/dont-ignore-your-stage-iv-friend/

I didn’t expect to be using our Mend Together site for my own cancer-related surgery, but I am glad that I can. It’s made organizing support so much easier during my DIEP reconstruction.

Click here to follow my Community Journal or just see how our site can help you or someone you know on a cancer journey: https://app.mendtogether.com/profile/d665b4a00758a5e8d42fa728ae9cbbdc7c02cb3e

With each other’s help, we can Mend Together. 💛

Tax season for cancer patients be like 👀

( strikes again!)

“I used our Volunteer Calendar during a recent cancer-related surgery. It made it less uncomfortable for me to share where help was needed and easier for friends and family to know where to step in. I hope you try it and find it as useful as I did.” — Lisa Lefebvre, Founder and 2x cancer “endure-er”

Click here to learn more about our new Volunteer Calendar: https://www.mendtogether.com/landing/calendar

Calendar — Mend Together Share when and where support could be helpful. Friends and family can choose where to pitch in to lift burdens and spirits — or suggest ideas of their own.

Tag a friend in the comments who needs to hear this today. It’s a great reminder that throughout all our lives, we won't always be happy -- but we won't always be sad, either. ⠀⠀
The latter can be hard to remember for someone enduring cancer. The physical, emotional, social, and spiritual damage that a cancer diagnosis and protocols can inflict are devastating. It can be a very lonely and sad time.

As loved ones, we can help by being one of the bright spots in a cancer patient’s life. 💛
⠀⠀
Click here to find inspiring ways to support a friend going through cancer: https://www.mendtogether.com/

Commenting on appearances can be hurtful for someone living with cancer. Many patients report that they look better than they feel during treatments but that doesn’t mean they aren’t struggling. In fact, most patients suffer from the invisible symptom of fatigue.

Don’t say “You look so healthy/good!”, warns Maggie Kudirka ().

Instead, Maggie advises, “Just ask someone how they are doing or feeling -- in general and not about cancer”.

There’s no way to frame cancer-related bodily changes in a positive way. Optimism can be infuriating. Even if you see a positive in a change, the reason for that change was devastating. Instead, try a simple, upbeat statement that doesn’t focus on appearance:

🗯“It’s so great to see you.”
🗯“I’ve missed you. You’ve really been on my mind.”
🗯“You know, I really love having you as a friend. You are very special to me.”

Check out more tips for how you can help a cancer patient by visiting www.mendtogether.com

| Source illustration via the talented -- check out their page for more incredible work |

Mend Together You or a friend are dealing with cancer. Now what? Our site makes it easier to give and receive support. And it’s free for everyone. GET STARTED  Take a peek at Mend Together in action FOR PEOPLE WITH CANCER, FRIENDS, FAMILY, AND COLLEAGUESWe help you learn what to say, do, and give during times ...

Today we honor and remember the powerful and enduring legacy of Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.

In Montgomery, Alabama in 1957, Dr. King said, “Life’s most persistent and urgent question is, ’What are you doing for others?’” – and it still rings true today. 

As we strive to make a meaningful difference in people’s lives, let us keep Dr. King’s vision in our hearts and minds to make his dream a reality for all.

📚 One of our most treasured books is “Cancer as a Turning Point”. Written by an oncology psychologist, it presents a compelling case on why (and how) to turn cancer into ‘post-traumatic growth’. The personal anecdotes from his years of treating cancer patients are eye-opening and help lift spirits.

Consider gifting this to someone you know going through cancer — or add it to your Mend Together Gift Registry by visiting www.mendtogether.com

"The words we use carry a lot of weight and can stir up negative feelings — especially for someone with cancer. Be sensitive to using ‘war against cancer’ clichés. Most cancer patients don't relate to military language (but some do). For example, I think of myself as a "cancer endure-er" versus "cancer warrior". I don’t feel like I ‘fought’ anything. I simply endured it. I had no choice.”
— Lisa Lefebvre, CEO/Founder, Mend Together.

Here's some more tips ....

Instead of saying:

- “You’re such a fighter.”
- “You’re a warrior.”
- “You’re so brave.”

Remember, not every cancer patient identifies with ‘warrior’ terminology. They may not feel like they are in a fight. Or they may feel weak. For some, saying they’re strong can make them feel worse. For others, it may be the support they need.

Try this instead:

- “There are so many people who love you. We’re in this with you.”
- “Is there any language that people use that is hard for you, or that you can’t relate to?”
- “You don’t have to be strong for me. We can talk about whatever is on your mind.”

You can explore the advice section on our site for more tips on what to say, do, and give to someone going through cancer here: www.mendtogether.com

From all of us here at Mend Together, we wish you hope and peace in the New Year.

When it comes to cancer, it’s hard to know how to answer “How can I help”. Friends and family want to pitch in, but don’t know where to start. Make it easy for them -- and less uncomfortable for you -- by using our free site to share where support is needed. Learn more at www.mendtogether.com

Most cancer patients have insomnia. Researchers at Stanford University suggest turning your room into a cave to make sleeping easier. An hour before bedtime, turn down the temperature to 60-67 degrees, dim the lights, and close the drapes. The point is to create a Neanderthal sleep environment. 🙂 If you have insomnia, you can learn more about how to address it here: https://www.mendtogether.com/are-you-losing-sleep-over-losing-sleep/

Cancer brings out all kinds of awkward conversations, well-intentioned faux pas and occasionally something wonderful is said that really hits home. I had a relative who continually asked, “What’s your prognosis?” which felt to me like asking me if and when I was expected to die. 🙄 Anyone else have an experience like this?

We created a helpful guide you can share with friends and family to help them learn what to say — and not say — during a cancer journey. Check it out here: https://www.mendtogether.com/what-to-say-and-not-say-to-a-cancer-patient/

— Lisa Lefebvre, Founder and 2x cancer "endure-er"

| Artwork by Henn Kim |

Dealing with the cost of cancer can feel insurmountable. Jennifer used Mend Together to crowdfund after her diagnosis — in a private setting where she could also share updates with friends and family who followed her Page. We are so glad we could help her during her time of need.

If you or someone you know is going through a hardship like cancer and need ideas on how to organize help from friends and family, we can help — and make the process less awkward.

Learn more at www.mendtogether.com

Have you ever wondered how our site works? I just had another cancer-related surgery and am using MendTogether.com to organize support.

Click here to read my Community Journal posts, view my Volunteer Calendar, and Gift + Cash Registry to see how it could work for you or someone you know going through cancer: https://app.mendtogether.com/profile/d665b4a00758a5e8d42fa728ae9cbbdc7c02cb3e

I am so glad to be able to use my Mend Together page to organize help. It’s been so much easier and more fun this time around because of it.

Warmest,
Lisa

(Founder and 2x cancer “endure-er”)

What having cancer during a pandemic feels like 🙃🙃🙃

Hey all — Lisa here! I am the Founder of Mend Together and a 2x cancer “endure-er”. As part of my treatment protocol in 2008, I had a mastectomy and was enrolled in a clinical trial at MSKCC for a new prostheses; the trial failed.

After suffering years of severe pain, I am so excited to report that 2 days ago I finally underwent DIEP Flap surgery to remove the failed protheses and begin the arduous process of repairing my body.

So many people have reached out to ask how they can help me during this time, so I created my own profile on Mend Together to keep everyone updated, and make it easier for friends, colleagues, and family to offer support — all in one place.

The outpouring of messages on my profile has been incredibly encouraging. I would love for you to “follow” my journey and see how our site could work for you or someone you know going through cancer too. You can follow along here: https://app.mendtogether.com/profile/d665b4a00758a5e8d42fa728ae9cbbdc7c02cb3e?_kx=fS6Zz2RZcfJfyDv3g4C3jGmtDUUVbleXDnGEHAb79xBPnbyEQ4Xns90K8eX2VWDq.Wiyfm8