Sage DeRosier, M.A., LMFT

As children, we don’t know. We want, hunger, need… And when someone bigger, older, wiser, more experienced helps us receive, get nourished, meet those needs, we learn trust.

When the bigger, older, wiser, more experienced people look into our eyes with sincere curiosity, wonder, delight… When they smile and laugh with us… When they sing and croon with joy, talk with us and reflect back to us energy that communicates safety and appreciation… that communicates, “I’m SO VERRRY GLAD YOU ARE HERE!” Well, holy guacamole; it feels GOOOOOD!

That’s often our first experience of love. Focused appreciation, care, concern, interest, delight, joy, full acceptance… love. Think back to who gave that energy to you. Who gives it to you these days? From whom did you learn love? And to whom do you send loving energy?

For today, I invite us all to love ourselves like I describe above. Want and include, and really SEE ourselves today. If we don’t have much or any experience loving ourselves, it’s okay. Let’s just experiment with loving our own self like someone else unconditionally and resoundingly loved us. Remember: It’s the practice that counts. ❤️🌱🦋

The world has a LOT of distractions. Endless fu***ng distractions. Heck, other people and our systems, art, efforts at cohesion into community can distract us for our entire lifetime! Today, I invite us inward into intersectionality, into introspection. Let’s choose curiosity, courage, compassion, connection with the core of our miraculous, magical mostly morphing self. Kind inquiry. Respectful and honorable deep listening inward might make room for the gifts of insight, caring, and a bit more evolving. As for me, I experienced the Law of Dialectics today. I dared enter the clash and emerged with a gem of truth that soothed me. What about you…? How will you commune with yourself today?

Let us master ourselves a little bit more today. When distracted, disturbed, distressed, and deeply desiring to fix others, force them to do things the way we we want (or worse, to which we are rigidly attached…), perhaps we take that moment to get curious about our own intolerance, our resistance to experiencing distraction, disturbance, distress, and desire.

Instead of following that tight, unpleasant compulsion to control others and push them to meet our narrow expectations, let us soften, breathe deeper, allow for what actually IS going on and look for the treasure in the experience. Look for the language to describe the internal emotional terrain (a few more words and definitions here for your articulation arsenal!).

Finally, I invite us to listen to self and others with more sincere curiosity, spacious compassion, and perhaps a bit of trust that whatever unpleasantness occurring in the moment WILL resolve and maybe we don’t need to get all riled up, activated, panicked, and pushy… Just breathe, practice kindness, and focus on the stunning miracle that we are here on a planet full of adventure today. 🌱🌻🌱

Thought for today is a variation on the piece below…
Here you are, healing…

My mantra for a while now is, “Every little bit of effort counts.”

Most of our lives, we are distracted by the demands of others, the demands of safety, the demands of performance, the demands that bloom abundant from old, limiting, fear-filled beliefs. We are distracted by the sensory intensity of being in a body on a complex AF planet…smells, sights, sounds, sensations, tastes…

Perhaps right now, take a few moments and close your eyes. Look inside. Direct all senses, focus energy toward curiosity about planet YOU. Some inquiries: Who am I right now? What do I need right now? What is important and valuable to me… right now? For what am I feeling sincerely grateful right now? What is new about me right now? Then, listen inward… past the brain chatter, the criticism, boredom, annoyance, fear. Listen for the real you that does not demand or shout or ring alarms or attempt to frighten. Listen for the love, the wisdom, the divine core of yourself. Because here, in the moment… here, you are healing.

Some honorable concepts upon which to dwell today: wisdom, courage, dignity, patience, understanding, emotional articulation and maturity, helpful service.

As for me, I’m dwelling upon gratitude for aliveness, connections, compassion, communication, creative solutions, calm, clarity, and cleanliness. Simple things! I had a bath in a big tub today. It was divine. For today, I invite you to dwell upon concepts, activities, people, and things that bring you delight. 🙏🏽🌻🦋

Sometimes we experience stretches of time that we find quite uncomfortable, unpleasant, painful. Ideally, these stretches are short in duration, mild in intensity, and occur quite infrequently. Realistically, some folks find themselves frequently stuck swimming in the proverbial deep end of the pain pool: physical pain, emotional turmoil, disappointment after disappointment, confusion as to how their needs barely (or do not) get met and what they dare to want becomes merely escapist, unobtainable fantasy… And if we are not in that proverbial deep end, most of us know others who are or have been there.

HOW do we navigate the lack of connection, resources, patience, tolerance…? WHAT must we do to keep our wits, stay calm, access clarity in the midst of a war zone (whether external and physical or internal, almost constant criticism, terror, confusion)?

TWO RECOMMENDATIONS…
First, I recommend a bit of gentle, kind, silly humor to offset the tension. Laughing is a release and levity lightens the load. Did you know that many first responders use “dark” humor (humor that most people might find offensive or morbid) to self-regulate when they are contending with too much chaos, adrenaline, horror? Watch a favorite movie or show… listen to a silly song… find an oasis of levity to catch a few deep breaths and ease the tightness of fear and overwhelm. The release of tension allows for access to the powerful frontal lobe where we can imagine, learn, plan, acquire resources, and experience resilience.

Second, pay attention to reciprocity. Experiment with mindfulness when engaging with other people. Notice the give and take. Increase awareness about dynamic balance. Are we doing a lot? Talking and saying too much? Are we taking and receiving and “getting a bargain” while others are getting the “s**t end of the stick” and doing more for us? Are we focused on what we “deserve” and stingy about sharing? Do we receive largess and barely contribute? Do we deplete our resources (time, energy, information, material goods, etc.) and watch others hoard? Are we “investing” in others with attached strings of profit? Constantly available, do we send our time, focus, energy, attention to empty others and become empty ourselves…? My invitation is to experiment with and explore boundaries. Lean into the awkwardness of explicit agreements, co-created fairness, and win-win interactions.

For today, may you find balance, humor, relief, connection, and kindness within yourself and in all your interactions with others. 🌻⚖️🥰

There is a magic available in emotional maturity… being able to understand the unpleasant emotions aren’t immediate cause to speak or act so much as information to leverage in mindfully, heart-fully considering our choices.

🌱 It brings a bit of sadness as well as a relieving and peaceful calm to realize that most of our ancestors had it wrong about children… They didn’t know that they’re not supposed to “mold” and “shape” so much as BE a role model and lovingly witness and nurture the miraculous process of a child’s unfolding, evolving masterpiece of self into complexity and adulthood…

🌱 The understanding that we can become fully realized without waiting for others to apologize or make closure or give us what our childmind demands and feels angrily entitled to receive brings a spaciousness and freedom to keep growing, glowing, going forward into our authentic blossoming…

🌱 Grokking that sometimes our roads diverge and they are *meant to diverge… without our needing to indulge in hate or conflict or unpleasant upsets… gifts us with another type of inner peace from acceptance and allowing ourselves to participate in the free flow of birth-life-death on the planet…

🌱 And metabolizing the reality that so many human beings are similar and simultaneously quite different offers us experiences of paradox, flexibility, and perhaps forgiveness when we are not met at the depth we hope to be met…

May today bring us each peace, understanding, acceptance, flexibility, and forgiveness. 🌻

It doesn’t have to be BIG-T trauma with front page news, police reports, and sensational extremes… Trauma is experiencing the terror of some event and not having the resources to effectively fight, flight, or freeze to feel safe and get to the other side. While it isn’t as dramatic, little-t trauma is like death by thousands of paper cuts. Each one stings and the collective experience over time can overwhelm, hijack, and stunt our growth. The key is resourcing.

When we are young, ideally our primary resources are the grownups who are parenting us. Ideally, they were resourced or made efforts to grow and heal from not having effective parenting when they were young. The harsh reality is that most people were raised by folks who had secondary s*x characteristics, were deemed “adult” because they lived a certain number of years in a body on the planet. There is ZERO correlation between parenting competence and being labeled “adult” because of the number of years you’ve spent outside a womb. So, we have multiple generations of traumatized people raising and traumatizing more people…

I hate hearing people boast that “I got beaten and I turned out fine!” I cringe hearing women snipe that “I was r***d; I got over it! Why can’t you?!” Flash: You did NOT turn out fine and you did NOT get over it. You sucked it up in isolation, chose some s**tty coping skills, and paid the trauma forward.

Time to **kUP folks. The way we’ve been taught to do things is toxic, poisonous, exhausting, and contributing to our emotional stuntedness and collective retrogression.

To those who are making the effort to recover, heal, grow, do it differently, BE authentically your magical, miraculous self in the face of multiple millennia of toxic conditioning… I salute you. I honor you. I revere and thank you. At some time in the near future, there will be enough of us practicing self-regulation, unconditional kindness, clear boundary setting and maintenance, and showing up in shining authenticity to create a tipping point. ⚖️🙏🏽❤️🙏🏽⚖️

Time to level the f**k up. Emotional intelligence, self-regulation, and the capacity to slow the f**k down inside and choose a response rather than be led by reaction are essentially the superpowers that the comic book creators have over-fu***ng-looked.

Here’s the scoop: for the first ~25 years, we are sponges our elders can manipulate, influence, teach, and mold. The ideal is that our elders were unconditionally loved, listened-to, valued, and met with emotional maturity they absorbed and can pass on to us. HOWEVER, we are an ignorant and complex species desperately trying to make sense of being a watery meatbag of breathing electricity on a little spinning planet in a vast fu***ng universe…

So many of our little, creative brains have made up overly-simplistic, connect-the-dots stories. There are some folks who are very good at charm, manipulation, sales, marketing, and controlling the narrative for others and they have bought into the power-over, resource-hoarding, and profit-above-all scheme. They know that shaping beliefs is key. Hence, the widespread religious bu****it that pollutes simple threads of personal spirituality. Spirituality is an internal game of learning alignment, boundaries, dynamic balance, flexibility, and grace within one’s environment of relationships. When we share rituals, celebrations, teamwork, and cooperative ventures, we co-create religion and “religious” pratices. When religions become dogmatic, we get toxic and see things like abuse, abandonment, addiction, anxiety, attacks, harassment, hatred, hoarding, isolation, and other behavioral poisons pollute our ecosystem.

The answer starts simply me with me and you with you, then us with us. Kindness. Unconditional positive regard. Listening with reverence to the body. Practice leaning into and assertively navigating discomfort, fear, and sometimes pain. Taking responsibility (being ABLE to RESPOND) for our own happiness and the complexity of feeling peaceful, content, happy, AND experiencing the other not-so-pleasant emotional states simultaneously. We are here to BE… to learn to BE fully ourselves. And, there is an overwhelm of potential distractions from the process of growing into our most potently loving, competent, self-regulated, complexly integrated selves.

It’s a messy road. I invite us to stay on it and practice returning to kindness moment after moment… Imagine a mentally/emotionally healthy tipping point when MOST of us have evolved beyond the childish binaries, the dogmatic and rigid patriarchal religions, harsh judgment, and hair-trigger reactions… Still messy, but with spaciousness, graciousness, forgiveness, appreciation, and kind room to grow… What a wonderful vision for our future.

Did you know that discipline is NOT equal to punishment… but sometimes folks get them confused.

Punishment is the infliction of or imposition of a penalty in retribution for an offense. Punishment imposes essentially a childishly immature form of “fairness.” I hit you and you punish me by hitting me back. Punishment is about controlling behavior through fear of (and avoidance of) painful consequences. Learning is limited and ultimately shackled to fear and pain.

Discipline however, is from the word disciple (a learner, a student). Self discipline is deep learning about and a religious study of self. What does my sovereign human system need now, today, in this moment? How do I effectively and most kindly meet those needs? How do my needs conflict with what I want? What is *behind* and driving what I want? What’s driving fixation, rumination, hyperfocus, compulsion, addiction, rigid routine, habit…? Many of us are not self-disciplined and will respond to these questions like an ignorant child: “I just like it.” Or, some version of I want the thing and I don’t see value in exploring what’s behind my craving, desire, attachment.

These unreflective, stuck people will remain trapped (some, arrogantly doubling down on their trap) by unintrospected habits and practices that in all likelihood will damage their systems, wreck havoc on their relationships, health, well-being, and form toxic, liming beliefs.

We all get to choose. Some choose extremes: a steady road of suffering punctuated by moments of blissful relief, hedonistic pleasure, intense and absorbing escape. Some, traumatized and overwhelmed by difficulties and pain slide into rabid addiction and die miserable, alone, craving the next fix of temporary escape and pseudo-bliss rather than make the repetitive and somewhat uncomfortable effort to fully fu***ng live.

Living and aliveness require patience and deliberate practices of making the “right” and “healthy” choice for our miraculous self instead of allowing our starved, desperate, immediate-gratification-driven inner child make choices for us. Believing that we all inherently deserve kindness, connection, calm, clarity, creativity, compassion, and unconditional loving regard is a difficult choice for someone who has no or very little experience of those things. And yet, to live a life of joyful peace, harmony, curiosity, compassion… to live a life in which we are able to accept and effectively navigate life on life’s often chaotic and unpleasant terms… we must first choose the (sometimes tedious, irritating, boring, unexciting…) practices of self-discipline. As it is written on Appolo’s Temple at Dephi: KNOW THYSELF.

Reminders du jour because it’s getting hot and reactive out there. Good to be still, cool down, practice shifting focus to what we truly value… inclusivity, genuine connection, open-hearted kindness, healing/personal growth, and silly/gentle humor in the face of unpleasantness and overwhelm.

Remember: self care is s*xy… breathing deeper and slower helps calm the nervous system… getting enough sleep is vital… hydration is a good thing… and there are people who love us and feel freaking grateful for our very fu***ng existence and it’s important to dwell on that yumminess.

I invite each of us to deeply commit to our personal growth... Commitment is magic; one of the best quotes on commitment:

“Until one is committed, there is hesitancy, the chance to draw back, always ineffectiveness. Concerning all acts of initiative and creation, there is one elementary truth the ignorance of which kills countless ideas and splendid plans: that the moment one definitely commits oneself, then providence moves too.

All sorts of things occur to help one that would never otherwise have occurred. A whole stream of events issues from the decision, raising in one's favour all manner of unforeseen incidents, meetings and material assistance which no man could have dreamed would have come his way. I have learned a deep respect for one of Goethe's couplets:

Whatever you can do or dream you can, begin it. Boldness has genius, power and magic in it. Begin it now.”

― William Hutchison Murray, The Scottish Himalayan Expedition

This helpful illustration on How to Apologize is *almost* correct! A couple of important details if you want better quality relationships and interactions with other humans…

Before you get to #1, there is a pre-show to good, effective apologizing:

😎) First, calm your ass down and think s**t through.

😎) Get clear so you can clearly articulate what you did, how it negatively impacted the other/s, and what you are (actually and REALISTICALLY) willing and *able* to do for amends and behavior change.

😎) IMPORTANT: Do NOT engage in apologizing from an emotionally dysregulated, “jangled,” sped-up state. In other words, refrain from letting feelings of fear, shame, anger, impatience, irritation, pressure or anything super uncomfortable drive the apology. Regulate yourself before calmly asking the other/s for consent to make an apology. (Note: This might be difficult for people raised by grownups who regularly pressured them to “SAY I’M SORRY!! Apologize!!” That s**t is THEIR dysregulation, their fear and incompetent parenting.)

We can slow the f**k down, practice self-compassion and compassion for others, and up our emotional maturation game, y’all! Thanks for attending my un-Ted Talk. 🙏🏾🌟🙏🏾

We get one day at a time… and we sleep for about a third of it. So really, we get umpteen hours at a time… one hour at a time… one moment at a time. Each moment offers us a choice to **kUp in this co-created human s**tshow of damage, distraction, masking, and perpetually trying to work our way out of the wet paper bag that most of us struggle within. Gonna let the magnified, manufactured, manmade fear win? Naw, not today. Let today be about choosing the good stuff: calm, clarity, connection, compassion, creativity, courage, confidence, and curiosity. In each moment, ask, “what is the kindest choice I can make right now?” Then make that fu***ng choice. 🙏🏽❤️🙏🏽

Let us listen deeply, learn from experiences, leverage language to courageously connect. Let us let go of harsh judgment, crushing ourselves and others with cutting criticisms, mean-spirited manipulations and machinations… Isn’t curated fear, terrorizing, retaliation, vengeance, hateful rumination, grudge-holding, excoriating exclusion, self-righteous violence, and the distrust, isolation, and constant ambitious hoarding exhausting AF…? What if, for today we just practiced BEing, breathing slower and deeper, meeting everyone whose path we cross with kindness…? Maybe we can each experiment with that today… choosing to make one moment at a time a little more peaceful, a bit more beautiful. 🌻

If you’re reading this and your physical body has existed on this planet for over 25 years, then the following is true:

1) Concrete, rigidly hierarchical thinking patterns are a strong indicator of emotional immaturity and most likely of unresolved trauma.

Concrete thinking is extremely binary and is supposed to be just a developmental phase that children and adolescents go through. We don’t need to be close buddies or ensure we are happy-clappy warm and emotionally intimate with all people in our world. We don’t need to engage in depending on or blindly `trusting just anyone (especially when others are pressuring us to engage or trust or rely)… AND we also do not need to harshly sever ties, declare enemies, rigidly ghost and cut people out/off from connection either (unless they have proven themselves as clearly dangerous). Concrete thinking is extremes (BEST friend vs. HATED enemy, 100% all in vs. 100% out, completely good vs. completely evil…) and comes with extreme language (everyone, nobody, all, nothing, every time, never, always…) allows no room for nuance, gradation, growth, evolution, healing, learning, and the uncertainties involved in the complex thinking required to function as an adult human being. Conversely, including, allowing, considering, being able to accurately empathize and imagine others’ perspectives, seeking to understand, and holding paradox are strong indicators of emotional maturation and complex thinking.

2) Nothing changes if nothing changes; life on this planet is nothing BUT constant change.

Look for repeating patterns. If the repeating pattern reflects pleasant anchoring in our Core Self (“The Real Me” or the sense of Home inside us), we experience significantly more peace, harmony, joy, and recognize our experience of “the 8 C’s” - calm, clarity, compassion, confidence, connection, courage, creativity, and sincere curiosity. If the repeating pattern reflects unpleasant dangers, depression, difficulties, disconnection, distress, dysfunction…? We can take that pattern as an invitation to “change that vibration.” Since courage and sincere curiosity are Core Self qualities, we might start there; leverage those strengths. Let us lean into courageous curiosity about the unpleasant experiences. Then, we can summon compassion for ourselves and explore creative options for change… For many humans, experimenting with change feels frightening. For human beings, “the unknown” (even the idea of the unknown) can feel terrifying. Yet, from this moment to the next moment, our life is literally unknown… This is our lot… meeting the unknown every moment of our lives. Yet, for generations, people have capitulated more and more to fear (and fear’s violent brother anger), refused to acknowlege the one central truth of our existence (constant change). People often use denial, control, assumption, expectations, and all sorts of tricks to deceive ourselves into believing the opposite of our stark and magnificent reality. For today, let us mindfully experiment with leaning into change and daring to take back our sovereign power. Let us (one moment at a time) practice coming home to our awesome Core Self.

3) Self care means knowing the difference between NEEDS and WANTS and giving committed priority to meeting our NEEDS.

Needs: Required general categories of things for healthy continued existence… and without which, after some amount of time, we suffer and die. (Examples: physical safety, oxygen, hydration, nutrition, rest, connection, play, learning…) Wants: Quite specific, yet optional things we (sometimes intensely!) desire that may or may not overlap with meeting our needs. When we don’t get what we want, we may feel anger, confusion, disappointment, sadness… yet our survival is not in jeopardy. Sometimes we want what we need and when we get that need + want, we may feel joyful, lively, grateful, peaceful, and energized. Self care MAY look “selfish” to others who want what they want from us while we are focused on meeting our needs. (Example: My friend really wants me to spend time and do an activity with them. I want to do that too… AND, I am just recuperated from an illness and NEED to rest. My friend might feel angry that I’m not going to spend time with them - give them what they want… and might call me selfish or uncaring about them. Meanwhile, I am mustering courage to meet my NEED to stay home, rest, and ensure I’m fully recovered from my illness.) Practice introspecting and asking which of your needs are currently unmet and then meet those needs. When all needs are met, enjoy pondering and pursuing what you want. Remember that meeting our needs is our responsibility. We can ask for help from others (and may WANT help!) as long as we remain willing to hear others say “no, I’m not available to help” without upset, bitterness, grudge.

If you notice that you tend toward concrete thinking, frequently feel stuck, fearful, controlling, and disconnected from emotional intimacy with others, and/or have difficulty parsing and prioritizing your needs… please find and work with a competent, caring, compatible mental health professional. Investing in our healing, personal growth, and personal evolution is pricelessly valuable and you absolutely deserve to live your fullest, most empowered and joyful life. 🙏🏽❤️🙏🏽

It’s important for us each to realize and remember that our very presence adds value. If we are in an electric skin suit of mostly water and we are on this side of the dirt… we have agency, we have gifts, we can contribute.

Perhaps like me, you are a person who wants to live in harmony, peace, joyful creativity, and egalitarian balance with others. Perhaps (also like me) you would prefer we all use life’s little bumps, miscommunications, mishaps, icky events to practice slowing down, engaging with courageous and sincere curiosity, compassion, caring, growth, kindness, humility, self-regulation, and good-faith repair to better navigate, to build stronger, more connected relationships with others…

Every day we are offered opportunities to connect with kindness instead of fear and distrust. We get to choose what we believe and we get to change those beliefs when they block warm connection with our fellows. We get to choose liberation or childish jockeying for privilege, power, position ahead of, above, and for more. We can include or exclude… love or hate. For today, let this be your reminder that we are all at choice as to where we dwell in our thoughts, which feelings we focus upon and magnify, and what we do and say. Our very presence adds value because if we are here, we get to choose! 🙏🏽 ❤️ 🙏🏽

I am. I am *not* my feelings. My feelings flow THROUGH me if I let them and don’t resist or hyper focus on them… sometimes though, I resist and fixate… then those feelings can get stuck or congeal heavily inside and I have a more prolonged experience of those feelings… but the emotions I feel are not ME. Many people don’t know this because the world of emotions has been too complex and chaotic for the rigid, controlling, concrete, militaristic binaries inherent in patriarchy.

Many folks believe the (especially unpleasant) emotions (energies IN MOTION) they feel through their bodies mean they must DO something about those feelings. Nope. Emotions are just information we feel through our bodies. Sometimes the information is soft as a whisper or fleeting as a glimpse out of the corner of our eye… Sometimes the information is intense as yelling and screaming directly into our faces or overwhelming as a debris-scattering explosion. Sometimes feelings-based information is like a chaotic cacophony that is difficult to parse… still, feelings are just information and require us to practice noticing what meaning WE are making of our internal, bodily experience in each moment.

While Anaïs Nin succinctly and elegantly wrote what she wrote, I enjoy more specificity…

“I feel lonely. While proximity with some people facilitates connection and alleviates the lonely feelings, proximity with others emphasizes and exacerbates the loneliness. In those lonely feelings, the priority is not to know *why* this is so. Rather, my priority is to acknowledge and honor this information for myself. When I am needing connection, I do not need to analyze *why* certain people feel more connective for me and others do not.”

If you are in an adult body, congratulations!! You MADE IT! You survived childhood and adolescence and you continue to be in a miraculous body on this miraculous planet navigating within an ecosystem that provides for many of your needs. Now, it’s time to let go of merely surviving…

Some tips for the trip from merely surviving to thriving and helping with the evolution (so the kids who come after don’t have to barely, merely survive…):

1) Civil disobedience! It is required to break out of the fear-filled, authoritarian constraints that we barely survived. We were brainwashed, conditioned, soaked in the old ways that others cobbled together to survive… and while it was more than likely better than their s**tty, difficult childhoods, we have a ways to go. Disobey! 🎤

2) Experiment, explore, try new things, question “rules and laws” because while some of them make total sense for our collective and individual wellbeing and safety, a whole fu***ng s**t-ton of them were created by psychopaths, sociopaths, narcissists, and wealth hoarders to maintain their power OVER the rest of us… and f**k THAT s**t. 🧭

3) Stop running around looking for others to tell you you’re okay, you’re worthy, you deserve, you’re good enough. Notice when some part of you gets hooked into desperately wanting external validation and gently UNhook yourself. It’s fine to ask kind and trusted others for positive feedback every now and again, but notice if you get hooked, addicted, and feel needy… and gently look yourself in the eyes (mirrors are good for this) and say the kind, loving things that part of you needs to hear. 🥰

4) Notice what fear FEELS like in your organism. When you focus on scary s**t, what happens in your body? Notice the signs. Racing thoughts? Increased heartbeat? Holding your breath? Shallow breaths? Clenched fists? Jiggling limbs? Headaches? Belly aches…? If you can monitor when the body is hijacked by fear, you can make calmer, kinder decisions to get yourself safely and lovingly connected. Safe and loved…? NOW it’s time to explore and play and grow! 🌻

5) Your hero, your rescue party, your bestie, your life partner… YOU! Surprise!! It’s true. The one with you from womb to tomb is… YOU. Maybe spend some quiet time with yourself. Focus sincere curiosity upon yourself (like the curiosity you focus on others to whom you’re attracted, whom you admire…). Get to know yourself. Find the words to articulate who you are, what you’ve experienced, what you like, and what feels good about being you. There is no better time than the present… wrap your arms around yourself and give yourself a loving squeeze. Come back home to yourself. Stop ditching yourself thinking anyone else is better company. Give you, relationship with YOU a chance! 🤗