RB Counseling

"The best way to predict the future is to create it." ~ Abraham Lincoln

You have a set amount of energy to use everyday. Be intentional about where you're using it! 💕

Stop taking responsibility for things that are outside of your control (i.e. other people).
Remember: you are only in control of YOUR thoughts, feelings and behaviors.
This means that you are only responsible FOR these things.
You are responsible TO other people, things and situations based upon your value system (behavior in line with values).

Anyone remember?? Tell me what is **in** your control ⬇️ ⬇️ ⬇️

Reminder: you ONLY have control over...
YOUR THOUGHTS....
YOUR FEELINGS....
YOUR BEHAVIOR...
I am much happier when I practice radical acceptance of the things that are outside my control. 💕

We can only change something if we are able to recognize it. Unfortunately, we usually go through our day and our lives on autopilot - never really giving ourselves the opportunity to *choose* what we want to...
THINK
FEEL
DO
Before you respond, take a breath. Remind yourself that you are in this room, in this body. Ask, "In this situation, what is my behavior that is in line with my values."
Then, respond.

New blog post!

As humans, we learn boundaries. Unfortunately, even in the healthiest families we don’t sit around the dinner table literally talking about boundaries. Without intentional teaching and modeling, few people have a strong understand of what a boundary is, why they are important and how to maintain them.

This isn't a comprehensive guide to boundaries (look for that soon!) but more of a quick intro touching on five of the most important aspects about boundaries.

RB Counseling - Anxiety Counseling — 5 Boundary Must-Knows Your crash course in boundaries --> 5 things you need to know. If you're struggling with boundary setting, counseling can help. Free consultation, (509) 402-1569.

When you're brain spirals into a rabbit hole of worry, take some power out of the thought by naming it as "a thought."

Over and over again, get a little bit of space between you and the thought simply by saying, "Oh, that was a thought... and look, another thought."

The Karate Kid movie... Remember when Mr. Miyagi has Daniel-san waxing cars? He does this so that Daniel will build MUSCLE MEMORY to help him be better able to fight during competitions.

When your brain goes into an anxious state, you are much less able to grab onto and remember to use healthy coping skills.

By practicing coping skills when you don't need them, you are building muscle memory so you're more likely to be able to access those coping skills when your brain has been hijacked by anxiety!

Think less, do more! You will be amazed what you can accomplish if you get outside of your head and into action. 💕

Even with all of your flaws and imperfections, you are an amazing human being. Don't shame away parts of you. 💕

I've found that there are plenty of things to focus inside MYSELF. I definitely don't have time to spend energy worrying about what someone else is doing. 😊

👏🏻👏🏻 A little louder for the folks in the back! 👏🏻👏🏻
When you say "no" to the things that you want and need to, you are creating more space and energy for the things you do want and need.
This isn't about being selfish. It's being intentional.

What an amazing reframe from Joan D. Chittister!

Reminder: you are ONLY in control of your thoughts, feelings and behaviors. 🌿 Let go, breathe, and embrace the flow of life.

Perhaps it's time for you to begin figuring out what you really want to do -- who you really are -- how you really want to live. 💕

One of the first steps in this journey is to get comfortable asking and answering in any situation you find yourself in: "What do I think/feel/need/want?"

It's kind of a crazy thought, but it's true.

In every moment, in this very moment, everything is ok.

If you're feeling stressed or anxious - come back to this moment.

Your brain will want to bounce right back into the future with worry. Gently remind yourself that you are here and now, and that everything is just fine in this moment.

Thank goodness!! 💕 I don't have control over other people's thoughts and feelings. And frankly, it's none of my business what other people think about me.

All I need to do is show up in the best way I can in that moment and then radically accept everything else.

I used to think that it was selfish to "love myself first."

Now, I am fully aware that I am so much more capable of loving others when I first love myself. 💕

Embrace the challenge, summon your grit, and watch success unfold. 💪✨

"

Our brains are hardwired to keep us safe.

Which means if we allow ourselves to engage in this DO-DON'T DO conversation we are more likely to not do.

Instead... As soon as a thought to engage in an action that is in line with your values pops in, GO INTO MOTION!

The *momentum* will continue to carry you through that task and may even carry you through to the next task.

The next time you are heading into a scary situation and you can feel the anxiety rising up inside you, take a stance of curiosity.

Be curious about the situation.

Be curious about possible positive outcomes.

Be curious about how you want to show up in this situation.

Ask: What is my behavior that is in line with my values?

Don't let the feeling of fear or worry trick you into thinking you can't do scary things. 💕

You have so much strength and so many amazing capabilities!

Remember: Just because you feel it, doesn't mean it's true.

Check in with yourself... Is this situation one that warrants the fear you're feeling or do you have experiences that tell you this will actually be ok (and maybe even beneficial)?

Meet my therapy partner (although she's all grown up now), Peyton Marie Baker! 🐾. Sometimes the best therapists have four legs and fur! 🐶

I can remember as a child, my support animal was my horse, Chaqueta. Oh my, the stories and tears that sweet mare heard! 🐴

Who has been your support through the years - human or otherwise?

Just because I think something, doesn't mean it's true. Especially when my brain decides to kick in for a healthy dose of self-sabotage.

Recognize and counter unhelpful thoughts with thoughts that are more helpful.

NEW BLOG POST!! Getting (and staying) sober doesn’t happen by accident. Here are a few things to consider about getting sober.

RB Counseling - Anxiety Counseling — Addiction Treatment Spokane WA: 5 Tips for Sobriety Struggling with alcohol? Call me for a free consultation - lets see how addiction treatment in Spokane WA can help, (509) 402-1569.

When we set a boundary, it's human nature for the other person to come up over top with questions or frustration or tears or silence.

In response, in order to "keep the peace" and "make everything ok" we tend to change or go back on that boundary.

By doing this, we're teaching people that our boundaries don't matter.

If you are going to set a boundary and somebody comes up over top, you have to reinstate that boundary and follow through with whatever the consequence is.

Reminder: "No" is a complete sentence. 💕

Step 1: Write ONE task per stickie note.
Step 2: Order the stickie notes from the first task you'll complete to the last. This can be based upon the easiest task or the most important task.
Step 3: After all stickie note pages are stacked on top of each other, staple them together.
Step 4: Look at ONLY the top task and do it.
Step 5: Once the task is complete, rip off the top stickie note and throw it in the garbage.
Step 6: Repeat steps 4 and 5 until all tasks are complete!

Remember.... Think Less - Do More. You got this!!

I am slowly learning to embody the real message behind this quote. I can look back at moment in my life where I wasn't being ME, but rather what I thoughts OTHERS expected me to be.

I think about the fun and silliness that I missed out on.

I think about the opportunities I missed because I didn't take chances.

I'm glad that I am able to move forward from here - creating less regrets as I move through whatever time is remaining in my life.