Remembering John Knighten

Today is a day that always brings a heavy heart. Eleven years ago John Knighten took his last breath. He fought so hard and so bravely for more time. While so many years have passed, the pain of this loss is still deeply felt. His little girls have grown into such amazing adults and I know he would be so incredibly proud of them and the strength that each one of them has worked so hard for. Gone but never forgotten ❤️

Yesterday my girls went to visit their dad, a life taken too soon but never forgot.

Today John would be turning 56 years old. I can remember being younger thinking that people in their 50’s were so old. Now I’m 52 and he is forever 45 but oh the wisdom he had to live his best life while he could. John never cared much what others thought or about waiting for perfect timing, he knew better and I try very hard to honor that life lesson and the legacy he left us. So much has happened since he took his last breath, I can’t help but be sad for all the moments he has missed with his daughters but I see him every single day in their strength and their wisdom beyond their years. I leave this poem for my girls, as we eat pancakes for dinner tonight, remember your dad with joy of all those fun adventures and never forget to live your best life now because no one is promised tomorrow. Happy heavenly birthday John.

I’ve always believed that our loved ones watch over us after death and definitely leave us signs of their presence to remind and comfort us. Some may see feathers blowing in the wind but I see angel wings. John was most definitely watching over our daughter’s wedding this weekend and that brings me much joy. He should have been there to walk her down the isle but his presence surrounded us.

I continue to be in absolute awe of the caring support from the SFD. Yesterday Station 4 drove my girls to the cemetery to honor John on the 10 year anniversary of his passing. Each of us were given the most beautiful flowers. The girls and I feel truly blessed for all the love, thoughtfulness and ongoing support we receive from this amazing department that will always be family ❤️

Ten years, a painful decade full of tears, struggles and growth. In loss time takes on a new realm, some days the pain still feels so fresh and other days the memories feel like a lifetime ago. It’s hard to believe 10 years ago on this emotional day, John took his very last breath. It was awful to witness but we were surrounded with SO much caring support. He fought so bravely, never complaining and with a sense of humor right up to the end. Even though his cancer treatment was absolutely brutal, he fought for more time, more special moments, more memories. We crammed a lifetime into those fighting years. No matter how much time goes by, the journey of loss never gets easier. New circumstances and new life events are constant reminders of everything they are missing. All these years later our lives are still full of so much pain, pain from what should have been, pain from regrets, pain from memories that are fading away. There is comfort in cherished core memories, there is guidance in life lessons, there is wisdom from experience, there is much reflection, there is an abundance of thankfulness too for all the blessings our journey gave us. We have never felt so surrounded by caring support, compassion and grace. I have no doubt John watches over us, he leaves us signs everywhere. The gift of perspective is very powerful and that guides me through each new day. I never take time for granted, I appreciate things on such a deeper level because I now know just how quickly it all can change. I was a caregiver through cancer and death, it is an awful experience that leaves you emotionally, mentally and physically exhausted. With deep pain, life is never normal again and you just keep spinning in a tornado of what used to be
and what will be. It’s very easy to drown in your own thoughts and fears, grief can literally consume you. You live in fear of it happening again. When I had my own cancer scare ALL of those emotions came back fast and furious. I know now that our scars never fully heal. Life is truly a gift that should never be taken for granted, it’s fragile on a daily basis from so many circumstances. I see family and friends struggling with their own health, disease seems to be everywhere in so many forms. Rather than live in fear from it, I want to be brave like John was. John made me strong, together we made strong girls and we will keep fighting a brave fight too. Our daughter is getting married next month, he is not here to walk her down the isle, he should be and that hurts. I will walk her down that isle though with a smile because it’s a very special moment where a love story comes full circle. This wedding date is the day I met John. Life is full of miracles, believe in them! I want to honor John’s memory today and the amazing legacy he left us to be brave, take chances and live our best life!

Father’s Day is tough when your dad is in heaven. Today we celebrate, remember and honor John. We ate raspberry filled powered donuts and the girls even left one for John. We enjoyed a relaxing day with family surrounded by much love and we watched Ladder 49. I still cry, EVERY time, grief is hard, loss is tough but so are we❤️

This photo popped up in my Facebook memories today, it makes me happy and sad all at once. The amount of excruciating pain this brave man must have felt as that brain tumor continued growing and growing but those who knew him can confirm he NEVER let it show. He stayed active right up until the end! He continues to inspire me every single day as I live a life of pain in my neck and back…if he endured all that, I can surely endure all this. Never forget❤️

John would be celebrating 55 years old today so today we celebrate the amazing man he was, the amazing fighter he was and the amazing legacy he left us to live your very best life! Never take time for granted. Forever loved, still missed, never forgotten. Happy heavenly birthday John.

Kasey Knighten is once again climbing in honor of her dad, please consider supporting her and donating to this amazing cause!

Kasey Knighten's Big Climb 2023 Personal Fundraising Page Please support me and donate to my page as I fundraise for the Big Climb 2023 event

Remembering John today and always ❤️ 6/30/2013
https://youtu.be/9FHDr9-0Gus

John Knighten Memorial Service - Slide Show

I have joined an amazing organization to help children who have lost a parent. It is my hope that my story and my experience with grief can help guide them through their painful journey. Please help support me and this organization by liking our page on Facebook RISE Northwest
Risenorthwest.org

R.I.S.E. Northwest | A healing space for grieving children A nonprofit that provides peer support groups and mentoring services to children who have lost a parent.

Today this brave fighter
would be 54 years young.
Not a day goes by that your
memories and legacy don't
influence our thoughts. We
feel your presence watching
over and protecting us. You leave little signs everywhere but especially when we need you the most. We are learning the hard way that grief has no timeline, the years keep going by but our pain never gets easier. Thank you so much for a lifetime of memories and legacy you left us with. Happy heavenly birthday John, never forgotten ❤️

I don’t think my post went through yesterday, 8 years ago today, John took his last breath. He fought such a brave battle for more time, precious time to make more memories. He lived a lot of life in his 45 years. The caring support of the SFD and our community was truly amazing. The pain of loss is still felt by many, it never gets easier. In honor of John, never take time for granted, appreciate the blessings of each new day and live your best life! Never forgotten and truly missed.
Http://youtu.be/kiVQ_TE2PVU

John Knighten's final call Hundreds of people turned out Monday to pay tribute to John Knighten, a firefighter, husband, father, friend, brother and Marine, whose life touched so many ...

Today this brave fighter would be 53 years young. Not a day goes by that your memories and legacy don’t influence our thoughts. We feel your presence watching over and protecting us. Today we will bake your favorite cake and celebrate you while sharing our favorite memories... happy birthday in heaven John.

Found these treasures the other day while looking for a file. Most were taken early in his fire career.John was definitely quite the stud!

Today we remembered John with special moments and favorite traditions. We had greasy tacos (his favorite meal)for dinner, laughed recalling the personal record he broke of eating 12 tacos! Made a yummy chocolate cake and enjoyed all the cherished memories of his memorial video. He should be here, he was taken too soon, seeing his smile always tugs on my heart with mixed emotions but I’m thankful for the 20 years that forever changed my life. We ended the night watching Only The Brave, a movie based on the true events of the 19 Granite Mountain Hotshots who lost their lives on the same tragic day 6-30-2013

A life full of amazing memories...taken way too soon but never forgotten. John you are truly SO missed!

John Knighten Memorial Service - Slide Show

Father’s Day should not have to be be honored in a cemetery, John should be here with his girls.

All the feels today. Who ever tells you that pain gets easier with time or that time heals...I’m telling you that is not true! In fact, in my opinion it only gets harder! The more years that go by the more he is missing. John should have been here today to see our beautiful daughter graduate. I’m so proud of her and I know he would be too. A part of him was there and I’m beyond thankful to SFD, Station 4 and especially Andrew Bessmer for all the continued caring support our family is given. All this love is a treasured silver lining in the difficult journey of loss. Congratulations Kasey Knighten on your high school quarantine graduation!

This memory popped up today and made me smile! I’m so thankful for the friends that stepped up and brought joy to John’s last days. He was feeling sad that he couldn’t enjoy one last motorcycle ride and not being safe for him to ride, a SFD brother showed up with the perfect solution! Thank you for making this special memory possible ❤️

This memory popped up today and it was great to see that smile again. It also made me incredibly thankful that we are not fighting the threat of this virus with a compromised immune system. Many are and I know that challenge very well so I’m choosing to STAY home and do my part to save lives! When John became neutropenic (zero white blood cells=zero immune system)we learned a life saving set of skills for keeping germs away and those are coming in very handy right now.

Reading through the words I shared last year and tears flow just how much they still tell my story and daily struggle. Loss is such a painful journey that never gets easier no matter how many years pass. Grief comes in waves just like the ocean tide...a rhythm of joy vs sorrow. I miss him and it breaks my heart how much he is missing. I’ve worked really hard to change my perspective from being sad at how much he is missing to being thankful for the 45 years he WAS here and changed the lives of those who knew him. Oh how he was one of a kind! Life will never be the same without him but we honor his legacy and try and live our best lives. Happy birthday in heaven, you would have made 52 look good!

2-19-2019...John was the strongest person I had ever known until one day he wasn’t. I was a Hallmark girl with the weight of our world placed on me literally overnight. Little did I know that John had spent the past 20 years together preparing me to be strong, to fight a battle with no armor, no experience, no skills other than pure determination. He taught me that attitude is everything and I taught him that anything is possible if you use love as your strength. I was left no choice other than to be strong because he NEEDED me to be. Cancer was hard, death was harder but the hardest part above all is to be the one left here to pick up all the pieces and TRY to put them back together. Nothing is ever the same again. Loss is such a painful journey that never gets easier but thankfully I keep getting stronger and stronger. Life after death is a constant tug of war full of SO many emotions! Joy is constantly robbed by sorrow if you allow it. With each additional year that passes I can’t help but feel sad about all the moments he is missing out on. I wish he could see how strong his girly girls became, how much of him is flowing through us, how we are embracing life and living it one new adventure at a time. We cherish moments and making memories taking nothing for granted. While John is not turning another year older today, he left us a perspective to see that life is not measured by years it REALLY is measured by moments. Happy birthday in heaven to a man who made me stronger whether I liked it or not and THIS was the ultimate gift.