The Peaceful Parent Coach

🎉 My new website is live and, barring a few tweaks, I’m really happy with how it looks! I’ve taken this as an opportunity to have a brand refresh too. I’d love to know what you think 😀

I'm so excited that my website is back online! There are a few little tweaks to still do, but I'm pretty happy with how it's looking. You'll notice that I took the opportunity to refresh my branding a little as well.

Now that's all sorted, I can focus on the Kind+Connected membership, which is something I'm SO excited to be creating for you. I genuinely feel a deep calling to serve families, guiding them through the rewarding journey of parenthood.

If you think that you might like to be a beta tester when everything is ready, then I'd love to hear from you!
https://victoriamaus.com/join-the-kindconnected-membership/

Please do share this post with any parents who you think might be interested too 😀

Kind+Connected Membership - Kind+Connected Parenting | The Peaceful Parent Coach Discover my monthly membership for parents. Engage with resources and a community tailored for dedicated parents seeking genuine growth.

My newsletter is usually only for subscribers, but I'm sharing this one as it's about screen time... something on plenty of parents' minds towards the end of this school holiday!

💌 Like this? Why not share it and subscribe?

📱 Is screen time making you scream? 😱 Kia ora Reader Do you notice screen time creeping up when your children are off school? Is this a familiar sight? 👇🏼 My daughters posing for a photo) It's definitely something we've noticed with our daughters over the past two weeks, particularly our ten year old. Our daughters both have Kindl...

So it’s been maybe three weeks and I’m still without a proper website 😩

💻 Getting it back online has taken longer than I thought because of some boring behind-the-scenes tech stuff BUT I’m starting to make some progress! 🎉

🇳🇿 Here in New Zealand we’re on our second week of school holidays, so things have taken a back seat whilst I spend time with my girls. Next week though, I’m on it! 👊🏻

💌 In the meantime, my regular newsletter is still going out and is due in inboxes tomorrow. Get yourself on the list if you’re not already! 👇🏿👇🏻👇🏽

https://the-peaceful-parent-coach.ck.page/fromchaostocalm

Download your free copy of ‘From Chaos to Calm: A Guide to Peaceful Parenting’

Includes:
💕 Peaceful parenting: what is it?
💕 Beyond authoritarianism
💕 Why do children misbehave?
💕 Connection: why is it important?
💕 When to connect
And more!

https://the-peaceful-parent-coach.ck.page/fromchaostocalm

🎉 I had to share this exciting news with you all… I now have an office! 😍 How amazing that I get to see the sea every day.

This feels like such a huge milestone in The Peaceful Parent Coach and something I thought was years down the road, if at all.

I am incredibly blessed to be given the use of this space by and I can’t wait to see what this next season brings ☺️

Mornings can feel pretty overwhelming at times. Trying to get everyone up, fed, dressed and out of the house ready for the day ahead.

I’m not a morning person either, so it’s not just my kids who can have morning meltdowns!

I’ve got a few tips for you to help avoid that morning madness.

Is there anything that you’d add?

I'm just a little bit excited about this.

Ok, I'm VERY excited about this.

The waitlist is OPEN for the Kind+Connected membership that I've been working on for a while now. I'm still not ready and don't have a firm launch date for you, BUT you can register your interest to find out more with no obligation to join.

https://victoriamaus.com/membership/

Head to the link to find out about all the awesome benefits that members are going to get... for JUST $15usd per month.

Yep, $15.

😖 Do you feel a little overwhelmed at times by parenting?

📣 Are you looking for some encouragement?

💌 Sign up for Kind+Connected - my email newsletter giving you bite-sized bits of advice and a dose of positivity every week.

Peaceful parenting newsletter Kind+Connected is the weekly email newsletter from The Peaceful Parent Coach. Subscribe for peaceful parenting advice and information on one-to-one coaching, online courses and workshops.

Let's have a (virtual) coffee together ☕

My new Coffee+Coaching sessions are now ready to book. You'll get 45 minutes with me via Zoom where we can grab a coffee and talk through what is making parenting feel tricky right now.

I've written an article about these sessions so if it sounds like that might be your kind of thing, go and have a read.

Not for you? That's cool, but I'd really appreciate you sharing this post with any parent friends or family members 😊

https://victoriamaus.com/lets-have-a-coffee/

Regardless which side of the coin you're on.... you're doing an amazing job ❤

📰 Latest edition of my newsletter is on its way to subscriber inboxes.

If you're not sure about signing up (I get it, there are so many things cluttering our inboxes already!) then have a read of this week's to decide if it might be useful for you 😊

Throw away your chore charts! 🙅🏼‍♀️ Kia ora Reader A common topic that comes up with parents is chores. As our children get older and more independent, chores can become a real source of tension and conflict in a lot of families. I understand why so many parents are keen for their children to help out around the house and why they...

🎁 It’s my youngest daughter’s birthday today 🎉

In the UK, her birthday is always in the summer holidays, so I felt a bit sad sending her off to school today.

But, I’m going to make her favourite cake (lemon drizzle) and prepare her favourite dinner (mac & cheese with vegan bacon bits) ready for later 🙂

Reflecting on the last ten years of being a mum of two brings so much joy to my heart. The moments of fun, laughter and connection more than outweigh the other moments!

The Bonsai Child - is modern parenting limiting our children's potential? The Japanese bonsai – a "perfect little tree" that thrives only with lots and lots of care – is a good metaphor for children raised to be reliant on high levels of support, says clinical psychologist Judith Locke. Despite their parents' best intentions, 'Bonsai children' learn to expect that it'...

Chore charts are pretty common, but they can be a major source of frustration and conflict in many families.

If you have chore charts that aren't currently working for you, look at these questions and decide if they're something you need to continue with.

Read my article and find out why my daughters have never had a chore chart or any regular tasks around our house.

https://victoriamaus.com/do-children-need-chore-charts/

Potentially controversial opinion, but I don't think that kids need chore charts!

Let me explain why... https://victoriamaus.com/do-children-need-chore-charts/

✨ Share if you agree ✨

I heard this today and it really struck me.

How we’re feeling so often dictates how we connect with our children if we don’t work on regulating our emotions.

I always want to connect with my daughters from a place of love and kindness. But when I’m tired, overwhelmed, sad, in pain or frustrated I don’t always do that.

Sometimes I’m not as gentle as I could be because that’s how I feel inside. Anyone else?

What we need to do in those moments is take a step back and acknowledge how we feel. If we can, take a few minutes to centre ourselves and come back to a place of calm before connecting with our children.

I tend to go and make myself a drink and take some deep breaths whilst I’m waiting for the kettle to boil. Later, when I have more time, I talk whatever’s bothering me through with my husband, or journal my thoughts.

🩷 Let’s be mindful of what’s in our hearts and how that determines the way we speak to our children. 🩷

💌 Are you interested in a kinder approach to parenting? Sign up to my weekly newsletter through the link in the comments 👇🏻

Myth-busting time!

A huge part of what I do centres around connection with our children… but what about connecting with other parents?

I think it’s just as important.

But when you’ve chosen to parent a little differently than others around you, it can be hard to connect with others. I’ve been there.

I’m really busy behind the scenes at the moment working on something which is going to help you make meaningful connections with other peaceful parents. Plus, you’ll get access to me and some coaching too. Win win!

Sign up for my weekly newsletter if you’re looking for community and want to be first to know what I’m working on. I promise you, you’re going to love it!

https://the-peaceful-parent-coach.ck.page/newsletter

🤩 I’m working on something HUGE right now.

😌 Something that is going to make it easier for you to work with me.

🤑 Something that will make parent coaching more cost effective.

🤯 Something that will make me more accessible when you need me.

🤩 I’m super excited for this massive change to my business… mostly because I know how much you lovely people are going to benefit

🎉 I’m going to make it easier than ever for you to start your peaceful parenting journey!

👩🏼‍💻 I have heaps of work to do before I share any more with you BUT my newsletter community will definitely be the first to know, so if you’re even slightly curious about parent coaching jump on my list now!

💌 https://the-peaceful-parent-coach.ck.page/kind_connected

Yup. That’s me stood in a DIY Barbie box.

I haven’t seen the movie and I don’t intend to, but when your friend says “do you want a photo in this box?” well… 😂

I’ve got a new article up today which coincidentally is about Barbie and the power of words in shaping childhood.

Link in comments.

Diffusing The H-angry of a Sensory Sensitive Kid
______________________________

Me:
*loading groceries in the house, exhausted and trying hard NOT to act exhausted*

My ND Son:
Did you get any GOOD groceries?!

Me:
I think I bought several things that you will like to eat.
Can you help me grab the last 2 loads from the car? That way you can see some of the food and choose a snack.

My ND Son:
I hate loading groceries. Fine. *sigh*

Me:
Thank you for helping.

My ND Son:
You got nothing good! Where is all the GOOD food?! Why do you want to starve me?

Me:
I got a number of things that you like to eat, like ciabatta bread, freeze dried apples, pumpkin seeds, chocolate mini muffins, and white cheddar popcorn.

My ND Son:
But there is NOTHING here that I want. I am hungry.
YOU have to go back out and buy me food! Food I want! I am so mad.

Me:
I'm sorry you are not seeing something you want. Can I make you a plate with a few different things to try?

My ND Son:
No! *throws box of cereal to the floor*

Me:
*covers my face with my hands*

My ND Son:
Why are you doing that?

Me:
*in a quiet, level voice*
I am very tired. And overheated. And now I am being yelled at.
I am trying to figure out what to do. I just want a break, and covering my face is helping me to stay as calm as possible.

My ND Son:
I'm sorry but I'm mad!

Me:
*calmly and quietly*
I know. Big feelings are normal.
You are mad. I am overwhelmed. How about you step away and let me calm myself down...and then I will be able to help you calm down.

*5 min later*

Me:
Charlie, have you found something to eat? I can bring you a snack, if you like.

My ND Son:
No you can't. There is no food.

Me:
Your current choices are white cheddar popcorn, chocolate mini muffins, or freeze dried apples.

My ND Son:
Do we have those things?

Me:
We have those things. I told you about them, and you even carried two of the items into the house, yourself.

My ND Son:
I didn't see them.

Me:
Or hear about them, apparently. Why do you think that is?

My ND Son:
Because the only thing I wanted to see was Lay's Dill Pickle Chips and I didn't see those.

Me:
I see. Did you ask me to buy those?

My ND Son:
No, but I always want them.

Me:
I understand. Well, you have several other choices today, and I would be happy to take you to buy those chips, tomorrow.

My ND Son:
Why not NOW?!

Me:
I am tired and have just arrived home. Would you like to choose your own snack or do you want me to pick one for you?

My ND Son:
I like mini muffins. I want 2 bags.

Me:
They are on the counter. Help yourself.

My ND Son:
Sorry.

Me:
Thank you for the apology.

My ND Son:
*5 minutes later* Can I have some pumpkin seeds now?

Me:
Absolutely. Help yourself.

My ND Son:
I think I'm tired.

Me:
How are you going to solve that problem?

My ND Son:
After I eat, I am going to lay down. Can you cuddle me?

Me:
Sure.

*7 minutes later, he was asleep*

🎉 Our family is celebrating today… we have been in Aotearoa for 6 months!

This move is, by far, the biggest and scariest thing I’ve ever done. It was a real leap of faith to leave everything behind and start again.

It just shows what can be achieved when you set a big, scary goal and go all in. When you trust and believe that it will happen and that God’s got this! 🙌🏻

It’s not been easy, there have been some real low moments if I’m honest, but on the whole it’s been a positive experience for our whole family.

I’m excited to see what the next six months brings our way…

This month I had a plan for Instagram, which included posting every day. So I should be writing something inspirational for you, but I’ve got nothing.

Why? Because my youngest daughter was off sick today, which I hadn’t planned for.

But you know what? That’s ok. I’ll take a day of connection with my girl over anything else. 💕

So I’ll be back in my cozy home office tomorrow, ready to write this week’s newsletter and answering emails. One of the best things about parent coaching is I know that you guys all get the balance between family and work!

Controversial opinion here, but I don’t think children need chore charts!

Hear me out…

I’m not saying that children shouldn’t do tasks around the house, if that works for your family.

I just think that chore charts become a source of stress and resentment for so many families. They don’t motivate children.

If you hop onto Pinterest you’ll undoubtedly find lots of pretty chore charts and plenty of lists of what chores your child can do by whatever age they are.

But why?

Yes, children should do some tasks around the home. Yes, they should get to know what the adults in their life do for them.

However, a pretty list of chores with a sticker promised for each one done achieves nothing. Children need to develop internal motivation to get these things done instead.

If you start with them keeping their bedroom tidy, then the motivation here is that they will have a tidy space to relax in, they will be able to find their things and they will be caring for their possessions.

If we reward kids with stickers for everything they do, they never learn the “why” behind it - only that they do things because someone else wants them to, or else they’ll be punished.

What are your thoughts on chores and chore charts?

😫 It’s no wonder parents are stressed, I mean just being an adult is enough some days without throwing our kids into the mix!

✏️ Here’s my take on parental stress and, more importantly, what we can do about it.

💕 Peaceful parenting starts with us

https://victoriamaus.com/managing-stress-as-a-parent/

👶🏾 Are you a parent-to-be or a breastfeeding parent?

👶🏻 You need to check out Rachel's Antenatal Classes Wellington.

💕 Rachel is pretty awesome and is one of the kindest people I’ve met since we moved here.

🫄🏼She delivers gender-neutral antenatal classes - both in person in Wellington and online. She’s also an IBCLC lactation consultant and I wish I’d know her when I was struggling to feed my daughters!

🚀 I feel like the school holidays are flying by!

👩‍🏫 Back in the UK, we were used to having half terms, with a week off in the middle. Half terms are usually around 6 weeks long. In New Zealand, we have ten weeks terms with a two week break in between and it’s taking some getting used to.

💕 I’m so grateful for this break with the girls though.

👩‍👧‍👧 We’ve had a pretty low-key holiday: trips to the park, hanging out with friends, crafting, library visits, shopping… but I’m enjoying spending some time with them. Not going to lie, I’m enjoying the lie in every morning too 😆

☀️ If you’re on your school holidays too, what have you been up to? UK friends, what are your plans for when you break up for summer?

We love family meetings!

🗓️ Whilst it sounds a bit strange and formal to book in a meeting with your family, I would highly recommended it.

Here’s what our breakfast family meetings look like…

🕯️I light a candle and put on some chilled out music in the background.
🥐 We prepare something special for breakfast, usually croissants and pain au chocolat.
☕️ I make a fresh pot of coffee for us grown ups and the girls have hot chocolate.

Sounds pretty chilled and relaxing, right? That’s the whole point. It’s a time to come together after a busy week and just connect.

Sometimes we’ll have something we need to discuss - like tweaking our morning routine, an argument the girls need to resolve, celebrating good news, planning a day out… you get the idea.

📝 When we have something to talk about, I find it useful to use my family meeting template. Just like a business meeting, it means we can keep track of any problem-solving and planning we do. As a family with ADHD, we find this super useful!!

⤵️ You can download my family meeting template (with instructions) for free by heading to the link in my bio and signing up for the Kind + Connected newsletter.

🤷🏼‍♀️ Why did I want to become a parent coach?

In case you’re new around here, I thought you might like to know the “why” behind The Peaceful Parent Coach…

👩🏼‍🏫 My teaching career really highlighted to me that parenting is something we’re all just meant to get on with, but it’s not that easy. That the way we choose to parent our children really shapes how they behave towards others and how they see themselves.

📚 Since I became a parent 12 years ago, I’ve thrown myself into learning more about child development, parenting and family dynamics. I love sharing this knowledge with my clients to help them create a family life full of love and connection, on their terms.

💕 The awesome thing for me about my business is that I get to work from home, around my children, whilst doing something that I feel deeply passionate about. A business that brings together my formal education and all of the skills I’ve learned along the way.

💌 If you’re a parent coach looking for a like-minded community… look no further. I’m launching later this year and would love for you to join us. Link in bio to sign up for emails.

🫶🏻 I would hugely appreciate you spreading the peaceful parenting love by sharing one of my posts!

🗓️ We’re a week into the school holidays here in New Zealand. Be honest, are you enjoying it? Or do you feel like you’re lost your temper and shouted more than you meant to?

🙅🏼‍♀️ No judgement here.

Parenting is tough and things don’t always go to plan. Especially in the school holidays when things are pulling you in all directions.

Don’t beat yourself up about it!

Next time you’re feeling your stress levels rising, try this:

🌟 Take a deep breath
🌟 Say, “I am feeling some stress at the moment. I need to calm down.”
🌟 Remove yourself from the situation. Go to the bathroom, or go and put the kettle on.
🌟 Centre yourself
🌟 Return to the situation with clarity

💌 For more in-depth peaceful parenting advice, make sure you’re signed up to Kind + Connected, my weekly newsletter. Link in bio.

🫶🏻 I would hugely appreciate you spreading the peaceful parenting love by sharing one of my posts!

🙅🏼‍♀️ Just say no! 🙅🏼‍♀️

Saying no is an important form of self-care.

As parents it’s so easy to prioritise our children over everything else, and say yes to everything… but I’m here to tell you to say no!

The narrative online around self-care for parents, particularly mums, is that we should feel grateful for a hot cup of tea, a quick shower and five minutes to go crazy and paint our nails. That’s ridiculous. That isn’t self-care.

👉🏻 Self care sometimes looks like saying no. Creating space for ourselves.

🙅🏼‍♀️ Not agreeing to the 10th play date of the holiday even though we’re burnt out.
🙅🏼‍♀️ Not joining the PTA because we might be judged for it and maybe we can squeeze it in.
🙅🏼‍♀️ Not filling that space in our diary with something because we feel guilty for taking some time out and doing nothing.
🙅🏼‍♀️ Not rearranging our own plans for our child’s plans to take priority all the time.

🫶🏻 What does your self care look like? How will you make space for yourself this weekend?

💌 For more in-depth peaceful parenting advice, make sure you’re signed up to Kind + Connected, my weekly newsletter. Link in bio.

🔑 Listening to our children is key to connecting with them.

🤷🏼‍♀️ Why?

💕 Listening to our children makes them feel valued.

💕 Listening to our children means we get to know them more.

💕 Listening to our children lets them know their opinion matters.

💕 Listening to our children means they’re more likely to share things with us as they get older.

💌 For more in-depth peaceful parenting advice, make sure you’re signed up to Kind + Connected, my weekly newsletter. Link in bio.

🫶🏻 I would hugely appreciate you spreading the peaceful parenting love by sharing one of my posts!

They say a baby can fall asleep anywhere! But whilst they might have the ability to fall asleep in lots of different places, any surface that isn’t firm, flat and clear can be potentially dangerous. Here are six places your baby shouldn’t sleep:
-
❌ Baby bouncer
❌ Pods or nests
❌ Car seats (when not travelling in the car)
❌ Baby swing
❌ Highchair
❌ Hammock
-
It is also very important not to let your baby sleep on you while you are asleep on the sofa. Co-sleeping on a sofa can increase the risk of SIDS by 50 times.

My email newsletter hits subscriber’s inboxes tomorrow.

⏰ This week I’m delving into morning routines and how to have a smoother start to your day.

Not signed up yet?

There’s still time! 👇🏻

Ready to parent more peacefully?

Is an online parent coaching course worth it?

Honestly, that depends on what you’re expecting.

If you have a specific parenting issue and need advice and tools individually tailored to your family, then an online course will give you a foundation but is unlikely to delve deeply enough for you.

For parents that are looking for some broader advice and tools that can work in various situations, my 5 day course is for you.

You will learn enough about peaceful parenting to put it into action, whilst not investing huge sums in 1:1 coaching.

You will be able to fit the course into your life, however busy you are, receiving an email a day for five days walking you through an aspect of peaceful parenting with some journal prompts to give you time and space for reflection.

Sound good? What’s even better is that this course is an investment of just NZ$50 and you have access to it for as long as you keep the emails!

Read more about my new online course which will teach you the fundamentals of peaceful parenting through the link in my bio.