Over the Fence

A goodie to share. Have faith in yourself 💖

You will be spending the rest of your life with your self
Accept your self
Don't accept their opinion of you
Because it is only your opinion that really does count
You are not them
You are You 🥰🦋

Look after yourself first before helping others. Do you take on heavy loads? If so, here are a few things to consider for next time:

Are you in a good, healthy position to help?

Can you spare the time?

Do you actually want to help or be involved? Or can you recommend other support?

What are you happy/not happy to do? Are you confident to communicate this?

Can you stay safely within your own boundaries?

Will you be able to disconnect from it afterwards?

You can't help anyone or yourself if you are not in a good position yourself. It's perfectly ok to say "I'm sorry that I can't help now". (Notice there is no 'but' or justification).

✨If you must walk your path alone for a while, do it.

✨Don't abandon yourself for the sake of someone else.

✨You never have to fight or chase someone for their love and acceptance for you.

✨Never settle for less than the life that you deeply desire for yourself.

✨Leave them be, wish them well, and trust that “your people” will find you.

(Being nice doesn’t mean giving others all of your energy. Take care of yourself.-)

Hehe, good boundaries for the soccer field. A shame we have to remind folks but necessary.

Love this on the soccer field this morning! Feel like a few other places I know could do with something similar at the entrance 😂

September self care options

💛 credit:

Clarifying boundaries

We are all in different situations but in the same storm - and what a storm it is! We're constantly being bombarded with multiple disaster stories, wars, weather patterns, tragedies, diseases, high house, food and fuel prices, and more on covid. Such a bleak outlook!

It can get us down from time-to-time so it's vital for our health and wellbeing that we look for ways where we can control the things we can. Just small steps to help ground ourselves.

Educate those around us that war is brutal and senseless, pay attention to recycling, connect with others, take on a small voluntary role, cook, join a class or a friend for a walk. Over and above everything else, make sure you're doing fun and joyful things because we then pay less attention to the media hype.

I've baked biscuits these past two weeks and have avoided more plastic wrap (and half of the sugar). We helped a friend so that he could plant more trees on his land to help Mother Earth. My sister and I took our knitting to a local community hub craft evening. It was nice to meet a few people in the community and to knit and chat and great stories are shared. That's what folk did before TV was invented. All meaningful stuff!

It's also OK to relax and defrag! We don't have to be busy all of the time because the work is never done and it never will be because there's always more of it. Make time for yourself and if you're in the right space and situation, help others where you can - some people are doing it tough. Besides, a problem shared is a problem halved.

Oldie but a goodie..

❤️❤️
(Pinterest)

A good reality check.

A friend who is currently on holiday with her family posted snapshots of them having fun out. She added a comment to say that it wasn't all a bed of roses because there were tantrums and tears prior. I liked that they were having a good time but that she also kept it real.

People who have shiny looking lives on the outside, aren’t always feeling shiny underneath.

Create your own version of success, a life that feels full and meaningful to you ✨

Try to remember when your scrolling on social at other peoples lives, it’s just a snap shot, not the full picture. Comparison can sometimes be very destructive and unhelpful. Be the best YOU 💕 xx

Sometimes we need to honour ourselves and just rest.

This is a fantastic iniative. See, even doggies have boundaries 😁

Council leads the way with new dog behaviour initiative Wellington City Council’s animal services are like a dog with a bone when it comes to responsible dog ownership – and their latest campaign really leads the way.

As simple as that

For more inspiration, follow us on Instagram:
👉🏼 instagram.com/brightvibesmedia

You are not here to please others, especially if it means abandoning yourself.

Of course we’re here to be loving, kind, giving of our time, talents, and resources, helping bring equality to all, doing what we can in our thoughts, words, and deeds to “move humanity forward” as so beautifully says, but none of this is done by losing who we are.

Who you are is the foundation for everything that you do in life, so if others are mad because you take a stand and distance yourself when necessary, let it be, wish them well, and keep living your life, in alignment with who you are, with integrity and grace. 💛

(Setting boundaries is an act of love towards yourself and an act of respect towards others.-unknown)

How people treat you is never a personal attack on you, it's a reflection of what's happening inside of them.

When someone treats you badly, understand that this is their perception.

You can never change another person, but you can understand that you deserve better, wish them well, and walk away.

This does not mean be a doormat. Speak your truth without anger, but then know that the only change that will matter is their changed behavior.❤️‍🔥

(A person's actions will tell you everything you need to know.-unknown)

I was bullied as a kid at primary school by a teacher I had for two continuous years. It shook my confidence but I got through it and I learned new skills in my life. I had to have my own back.

In a previous job we had a bullying CEO for three years. I drew upon my skills so I could still be effective in the way I handled myself, carrying out my public role and be strong for others. It was terrible watching several colleagues and managers leave - many broken in some way.

Even though I wasn't directly targeted, my health and wellbeing became my top priority. My coping and healing skills came into play again and fortunately I stayed strong. I outlasted the insecure bully and have no desire to work in such a toxic environment again. Unfortunately many organisations don't want to deal with it so the bully stays and the target leaves.

Bullying can happen to anyone, anywhere in any place.

Bullies can be anyone - colleagues, neighbours, family, 'friends', service providers.

Bullying behaviour can be overt or covert.

Bullying is NEVER okay.

Much of this is why Over the Fence was established - to help empower people to understand and set boundaries and to have those difficult conversations. "Big Knickers and Boundaries" is my favourite community workshop designed for women. We share, learn, have a few laughs and support each other grow.

Take care and look after each other.

Image: Home - Pink Shirt Day Found on Google from www.pinkshirtday.org.nz

Be comfortable in your own skin.
Know who you are.
Understand deeply that what people do is never a reflection of you and is always their perception of life.
You are not for everyone and they are not always for you.
When you are not included, invited, or considered, whisper to yourself,

“Thank you for the space necessary in my life for the people that matter most to me. I am blessed.” 💚

(Once you realize you can do it alone you become a very powerful person.-unknown)

Helping others is a good thing - we all need help from time to time.

One of my golden rules though, is to never volunteer my husband, family or friends to do a job for someone without discussing it with them first. For whatever reason it may not be possible. Avoid putting yourself and others in a sticky situation!

I would like to share this.

💕 Crying can be a helpful part of dealing with how you feel sometimes.

It’s much better to let things out if it feels right rather than thinking you always have to hold yourself together.

You are human. You’ll experience a whole range of feelings and that’s normal.

Somedays big feelings you’ll be fine with and at other times, even the smallest things can make you want to melt into a puddle, especially if hormonal roller coasters 🎢 are playing their part 😉

You don’t need to be strong all the time xx

There is so much happening in the world right now including Aotearoa, New Zealand. It can be very overwhelming.

Have you considered that your mind needs to rest and not constantly take in negative news or people? Keep a healthy balance by limiting what you see, hear and engage in.

A friend was constantly watching the atrocities Russia is inflicting on the Ukraine (who isn't?) Be informed by all means, but don't overdo it. People care and they will do this when they feel helpless. She is going to take up my suggestion to find a worthy cause to donate money to, or sew/knit things to benefit those in need. (Having spent 15 years in the refugee sector, this is a topic that is still close to my heart).

Be kind to your mind. The body, mind and soul are integrated and do not work in isolation from each other. Notice how your body relaxes when your mind is not over stimulated.

Take the time to read this...

10 THINGS TIME HAS TAUGHT ME~~
1. Most of our life is spent chasing false goals and worshipping false ideals. The day you realise that is the day you really start to live.
2. You really, truly cannot please all of the people all of the time. Please yourself first and your loved ones second, everyone else is busy pleasing themselves anyway, trust me.
3. Fighting the ageing process is like trying to catch the wind. Go with it, enjoy it. Your body is changing, but it always has been. Don’t waste time trying to reverse that, instead change your mindset to see the beauty in the new.
4. Nobody is perfect and nobody is truly happy with their lot. When that sinks in you are free of comparison and free of judgement. It’s truly liberating.
5. No one really sees what you do right, everyone sees what you do wrong. When that becomes clear to you, you will start doing things for the right reason and you will start having so much more fun.
6. You will regret the years you spent berating your looks, the sooner you can make peace with the vessel your soul lives in, the better. Your body is amazing and important but it does not define you.
7. Your health is obviously important but stress, fear and worry are far more damaging than any delicious food or drink you may deny yourself. Happiness and peace are the best medicine.
8. Who will remember you and for what, become important factors as you age. Your love and your wisdom will live on far longer than any material thing you can pass down. Tell your stories, they can travel farther than you can imagine.
9. We are not here for long but if you are living against the wind it can feel like a life-sentence. Life should not feel like a chore, it should feel like an adventure.
10. Tomorrow is guaranteed to no one. Today is a gift that’s why we call it the present. Eat, Drink & Be Merry.

~Donna Ashworth, From ‘to the women’

❤️

Here is a little something for you to think about for your new year.

I would love to facilitate another Big Knickers and Boundaries workshop for women.

Good morning All💖

Well it’s the 3rd day of the new year and may be it’s time to start 2022 and think about these words 🧐

We often do what is expected of us but really it’s about what we choose what we do and what we say 💖

Think about today what is not suiting you and let it go life is to short 💖

Just know it’s ok to do so and not feel guilty even if you start with one or two on the list it’s a start 💖

Have a lovely day 💖

Lots of love 💕 and don’t forget to sparkle 💖

Love Sue xx❤️❤️❤️