Columbus Mind-Body Counseling

This can be a complicated, challenging day for many of us, me included. While I don’t always align with The Holistic Psychologist, these really landed for me and are such important reminders.

I just learned that there are monthly gatherings centered around conversations about death and dying. I'm so happy to see this resource available! You can learn more about Nikki the Death Doula, LLC and the services she offers at her website https://www.nikkithedeathdoula.com/about-me

Tomorrow!

Entered my office building today like this. Say you’re a therapist without saying you’re a therapist 😊 Called it a little too close with only half a box of tissues remaining. Whew!

This is a really moving share from someone who is a client of a NARM therapist in Michigan. I feel so fortunate to be able to offer this model to my clients and to get to support other therapists in learning the model. It’s incredibly gratifying. I also want to say that sometimes, in spite of our best efforts and intentions, relationship ruptures do happen. Therapists are human, too. One of the things I deeply appreciate about NARM is the emphasis on the relationship with the client and how to support that even when ruptures occur. There’s space for each person’s humanity in the therapeutic process.

Jonathon Shedler is a psychologist who I have a lot of respect for. He’s written and spoken a lot about the idea of evidence based practice and what it means and doesn’t mean. He also talks a lot about the importance of depth and the uniqueness of the therapeutic relationship. I love what he wrote here recently on Twitter/X and think it’s a great reminder for both therapist and client.

One of the best mental health-ish TikTok’s I’ve seen. So good! So many of us humans struggle with relationships and vulnerability and wanting to avoid being hurt in relationships and we employ all sorts of strategies to prevent that which rarely get us what we’re wanting at some level - deep, meaningful connection with ourself and others. Lots of insight and pearls of wisdom in this video.

TikTok · Jamila Bradley 3305 likes, 141 comments. “Replying to i had to channge my defiinition of hurt and betrayal, and accept hurt as a natural part of it. I had to let the degree of hurt and how it was repaired indicate the strength of the relationship.”

Good therapy offers this and supports clients in being able to do this.

I’ve had the good fortune to be trained by Elaine. She is a wonderful human making an invaluable contribution to healing trauma.

“When you learn to tell the difference between sensations of distress and well-being, then you have a choice of what to pay attention to.” - Elaine Miller-Karas

On this episode of Transforming Trauma, Emily Ruth has the privilege of speaking with Elaine Miller-Karas, Co-Founder and Executive Director Emeriti at the Trauma Resource Institute (TRI), a nonprofit organization cultivating trauma-informed and resiliency-focused individuals and communities worldwide. The pair discuss Elaine’s incomparable career as an advocate for culturally accessible trauma care, her roles as an author, educator, and host of Resiliency Within, and TRI’s efforts in current strife zones.

We invite you to listen to the full episode and follow Transforming Trauma in Apple Podcasts, Spotify, YouTube, or your favorite podcast app. https://narmtraining.com/transformingtrauma/episode-124

And, it takes time to slowly build the capacity for all of this.

❤️❤️
(Pinterest)

“Everyone knows firsthand that life is messy and painful, beautiful and unpredictable. The endless practice is keeping our heart open to the whole of it.” Mark Nepo

Breathing this in.

Why do we start a new year, with promises to improve?
Who began this tradition of never-ending pressure?
I say, the end of a year, should be filled with congratulation, for all we survived.
And I say a new year should start with promises to be kinder to ourselves, to understand better just how much we bear, as humans on this exhausting treadmill of life.

And if we are to promise more, let’s pledge to rest, before our bodies force us.
Let’s pledge to stop, and drink in life as it happens.
Let’s pledge to strip away a layer of perfection to reveal the flawed and wondrous humanity we truly are inside.

Why start another year, gifted to us on this earth, with demands on our already over-strained humanity.
When we could be learning to accept, that we were always supposed to be imperfect.
And that is where the beauty lives, actually.
And if we can only find that beauty, we would also find peace.

I wish you peace in 2024.
Everything else is all just a part of it.
Let it be so.

Donna Ashworth

Art by the wonderful Catrin Welz-Stein

My latest book ‘Wild Hope’:
https://amzn.eu/d/eDGFsCs

#2024

The holidays are a tricky time for many who are navigating loss and grief. My colleague Dean Janeff wrote this article to support you during this challenging time of year.

Coping with Grief: 7 Tips for Supporting Yourself During the Holidays - Dean Janeff, LMFT Coping with Grief: 7 Tips for Supporting Yourself During the Holidays: Dean Janeff, MA, provides family therapy, grief, trauma, and couples counseling in Austin, TX, Call me for a free consultation: (512) 443-8100

We take ourselves wherever we go and it's the only relationship we're guaranteed to have until we die. An ongoing journey that's pretty damn important!

Great interview with psychologist Dr. Jonathan Schedler! He dives into the process of psychotherapy and what it is (or can be) and what it isn't. The short version, it's way more than coping skills and worksheets. Oh, and 8-12 sessions ain't it either.... even though insurance companies love to perpetuate that myth. 😎

“The word ‘evidence-based’ has become a kind of marketing buzzword. It no longer means what people think it means.” - Dr. Jonathan Shedler

On this episode of Transforming Trauma, Emily welcomes author, consultant, researcher, and clinical educator Jonathan Shedler, PhD, to discuss the widening chasm between the research conducted by academic psychologists and real-life psychotherapy.

Speed isn’t an effective treatment for mental health challenges. “That’s the disease,” explains Jonathan. “The goal is to slow things down and create freedom.” Addressing issues like complex PTSD requires a commitment to comprehensive, and generally longer-term therapeutic models like NARM.

We invite you to listen to the full episode and follow Transforming Trauma in Apple Podcasts, Google Podcasts, Spotify, or your favorite podcast app. https://narmtraining.com/transformingtrauma/episode-114

Great TED Talk from psychologist Dr. Becky Kennedy, author of Good Inside (great book!). While the focus is on parents' relationship with their kids, the information is so relevant for all relationships (including if your kids are grown and out of the home). I've even recommended her book to couples because the information applies to them as well. Give it a watch!

Becky Kennedy: The single most important parenting strategy Everyone loses their temper from time to time — but the stakes are dizzyingly high when the focus of your fury is your own child. Clinical psychologist and renowned parenting whisperer Becky Kennedy is here to help. Not only does she have practical advice to help parents manage the guilt and shame...

May we all have the courage and support we need to shed the armour. https://www.instagram.com/reel/CwEL_dgpR5j/?igshid=NjIwNzIyMDk2Mg==

Nice clarification of boundaries vs. rules vs. threats.

TikTok · RaquelMartinPhD 32.5K likes, 534 comments. “A boundary guides your behavior. A rule guides someone elses behavior.”

As a generally anxious person, I've often struggled daily with small setbacks, especially as a parent and so shared some thoughts on the subject: https://www.oxherdboy.org/post/156-i-wish-i-knew-how-this-will-turn-out?utm_source=facebook&utm_medium=post&utm_campaign=subscription

The impact of developmental trauma on health is profound.

The Reality of Living Exhausted from Complex Childhood Trauma Allostatic load and increased risks for chronic fatigue syndrome

What if more couples had open communication around what each partner has to give and came up with a plan when the combined total is less than 100%? https://www.instagram.com/reel/CtHIjTXg5Bp/?igshid=MzRlODBiNWFlZA==

“Marriage is never 50/50.” — Brené Brown (@brenebrown) Listen to my interview with Brené Brown: tim.blog/podcast #marriage #brenebrown

Su***de can be such a scary topic for both client and therapist. Grateful to be deepening my knowledge and confidence of how to work with suicidality using the CAMS (the Collaborative Assessment and Management of Suicidality) approach in a role playing training today. Wish this was a standard part of every mental health grad school program!

Today my friend and colleague Amanda Huffman and I presented Healing Dissociation and Complex Trauma with the NeuroAffective Relational Model (NARM) at the ISSTD (International Society for the Study of Trauma and Dissociation) annual conference in Louisville, KY. We had a lovely group of engaged and appreciative colleagues. I'm grateful for the opportunity to share something that is so meaningful to me personally and professionally. It was great to get to present in person again, too. Also, it was heartening to see what other colleagues are contributing through their work and research to support the healing of trauma. Lots of encouraging work happening out there!

So many teens are struggling with suicidal thoughts and some are taking action. It's a tender, challenging, terrifying place for a parent to be. This is a helpful article with resources.

How Parents Can Support a Child With Suicidal Thoughts As a parent, supporting a child who is thinking about su***de can evoke a lot of different emotions. You may feel scared and not know where to go. You may find yourself experiencing guilt and feeling responsible for what they are going through. You would do anything to help but don’t know where to...

This is so incredibly important.

College Counselor: This Matters More Than Anything Else The mental health crisis among teens is exploding. It's up to us, their parents, to let them know that they are enough as they are.

https://youtu.be/PXMwViRUd-cmy

brain and
heart divorced

a decade ago

over who was

to blame about
how big of a mess
I have become

eventually,

they couldn’t be
in the same room
with each other

now my head and heart
share custody of me

stay with my brain
during the week

and my heart
gets me on weekends
they never speak to one another

– instead, they give me
the same note to pass
to each other every week

and their notes they
send to one another always
says the same thing:

“This is all your fault’

on Sundays

my heart complains
about how my

head has let me down
in the past

and on Wednesday
my head lists all
of the times my
heart has screwed
things up for me
in the future

they blame each
other for the

state of my life

there’s been a lot
of yelling – and crying

SO,
lately, I’ve been
spending a lot of

time with my gut

who serves as my
unofficial therapist

most nights, sneak out of the
window in my ribcage

and slide down my spine
and collapse on my

gut’s plush leather chair
that’s always open for me

~ and just sit sit sit sit
until the sun comes up

last evening,

my gut asked me

if was having a hard
time being caught
between my heart
and my head

nodded

said didn’t know
if could live with
either of them anymore
“my heart is always sad about

something that happened yesterday

while my head is always worried

about something that may happen tomorrow,
lamented

my gut squeezed my hand

‘just can’t live with

my mistakes of the past

or my anxiety about the future,’
sighed

my gut smiled and said:
‘in that case,

you should

go stay with your

lungs for a while,’

was confused
– the look on my face gave it away

“if you are exhausted about

your heart’s obsession with

the fixed past and your mind’s focus
on the uncertain future

your lungs are the perfect place for you

there is no yesterday in your lungs
there is no tomorrow there either

there is only now

there is only inhale

there is only exhale

there is only this moment

there is only breath
and in that breath

you can rest while your
heart and head work
their relationship out.’

this morning,
while my brain
was busy reading
tea leaves

and while my
heart was staring
at old photographs

packed a little
bag and walked
to the door of
my lungs

before could even knock
she opened the door

with a smile and as

a gust of air embraced me
she said
“what took you so long?’

by John Roedel

The Anatomy of Peace My heart and brain divorced a decade agoover who wasto blame abouthow big of a messI have becomeeventually,they couldn't be in the same roomwith each other n...

While we may long for perfect attunement and connection with someone we will never be hurt by, I doubt we're likely to experience that. But oh the gift of being in relationship with someone willing to engage in repair when the inevitable missteps and hurts occur.

This year I had the great honor and privilege of being a training assistant for 4 different cohorts of students who were being trained in NARM (the NeuroAffective Relational Model). NARM teaches mental health professionals how to work with clients who have experienced developmental/relational trauma aka complex PTSD/cPTSD. While it's a lot of time and energy to take away from my practice and family and life, it is so incredibly rewarding and fulfilling. This past weekend was the last module for the 4th cohort. In our closing Zoom "circle", one student shared this incredibly moving poem with us.

If abandonment is the core wound
the disconnection from mother
the loss of wholeness
then the most potent medicine
is this ancient commitment
to never abandon yourself
to discover wholeness in the whole-mess
to be a loving mother to your insides
to hold the broken bits
in open awareness
to illuminate the sore places
with the light
of love

-Jeff Foster

I'm currently listening to the book How To Keep House While Drowning by KC Davis. It's such a kind, caring, and humane approach to what she refers to as "care tasks" aka cleaning. The author has a TED Talk and speaks to her own experience of trying to keep house while post partum with her second child right after quarantine lockdown took place. I was really touched by her talk.

How to do laundry when you're depressed | KC Davis | TEDxMileHigh When you're burned out, taking care of yourself (or your family) can feel nearly impossible. Therapist KC Davis gets it, and she's got a message for anyone s...

So, so true.

Never forget this truth ❤️❤️❤️