Sol Counseling and Wellness

Boundaries.

Basically it's just what we will and won't allow others to do to us/around us. There are the non-negotiables such as "I won't allow others to hit me/curse at me" and others that are more subjective. Boundaries are important because it's really about "where I end and you begin." We can actually have closer relationships with others when we assert our boundaries because we can be authentic with others.

When we allow others to step over our boundaries we can build resentment and eventually this can erode a relationship.

What are some boundaries that have helped you in your life? In what areas can you improve your boundaries?

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Happy Friday! What is everyone up to this weekend? How are you going to take care of yourself?

Last year I had a group of teenagers come to our house. Most trick or treating had slowed. We poured the rest of our candy into their bags.

THERE WAS A LOT OF CANDY LEFT.

The smiles and laughter it brought made my heart so happy. In that moment, those teens were living out the last of their childhood. ❤️

Be safe and have fun this weekend! 🎃

Most all of us use different ways to try and prevent feeling emotional pain. And it makes sense. It’s not really ideal to have a full on breakdown in the middle of a work day. However, as we attempt to suppress painful emotions and not resolve them, symptoms can tend to intensify over time. This can look like increased anxiety, anger or rage, obsessive-compulsive behaviors, insomnia, increased substance abuse, withdrawing from others, etc.

It's a matter of INTENTION vs IMPACT.

The intention of the behavior is to HELP. The impact of the behavior, however, may actually be hurtful.

I like to call symptoms "whispers of warning."

We can start by listening to our thoughts and emotions and what they are trying to communicate to us. Become curious and pause, listening. See if you can even bring compassion to them. And if this feels too daunting or painful, reach out to a professional who can help guide you through this process.

Healing can happen. Sometimes it’s messy and it’s usually not linear. But it’s SO WORTH IT.

It can be easy to get wrapped up in our daily stressors and the monotony of our often overly-scheduled lives. Our lives are made up of a culmination of moments in time. Taking time to enjoy the small things in life is so important. It gives our inner childlike parts a chance to breathe and play. It gives our task manager parts a chance to rest. It creates neurogenesis (new pathways in our brain) which in turn helps us to better integrate and heal.

I enjoy pausing throughout the day to deeply breathe and stretch, watch a funny video online, pet my dog and make a fresh cup of hot tea. Also sometimes chicky nuggies 😎

What little things make you smile and bring peace or joy to your life?

What’s something you are looking forward to this week?

Nature is medicine. Animals are medicine. Pause and breathe this weekend, preferably outside. Beauty is all around us. ❤️🌲🍁🦮

Stress. Raise your hand if you've been stressed out lately (oh hey!). Most of us experience it at least some of the time. And you know what? It can actually be HELPFUL. Say what?! It can be a useful motivator to get things done or make a change. But once we surpass a certain threshold, it can become debilitating.

Using curiosity, we can pause and notice it. Find it in our body. Notice what it's trying to tell us.. "Make that phone call you have put off", "Run those errands", "Start that business", etc. When we create space from the stress, we can better hear its message for us and how it's actually trying to help us.

How can you befriend stress this week and shift it into creative energy? What have you been putting off that you can accomplish this week?

Most of us are chronically fatigued and it shows. When we aren't sleeping enough, even the best life can feel unbearable at times. Focusing on good sleep hygiene starts during the day by getting enough physical movement, a reduction in stimulants by a certain time and ends with a good bedtime routine (think similar behaviors at similar times).

Some of us are so busy during the day that we don't give ourselves enough time to think. Once we lay down, it's like our mind gets excited "They are listening!!!" and off it goes. Journaling an hour before bed is one way to allow our minds the opportunity to "get it all out."

How can you improve your sleep hygiene this week?

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Self-care is so important for all of us, particularly during the last few years (has it really been THAT LONG?!). We are all going through a collective trauma that seems to just keep going. Focusing on what we CAN control can help us amidst forces that are beyond our control.

My self-care varies from day to day. Sometimes it's playing with my dog and sometimes it's laying in bed with a good book. Lately it's listening to 90s hip hop and dancing while cooking and cleaning.

How do you practice self-care? And if you don't, how can you this week?

It can be common for us to go on autopilot in our life, especially when we are feeling overwhelmed or stressed. If we can pause and give ourselves a few minutes to listen to what is going on internally (thoughts, feelings, physical sensations) we can better hear what our system is trying to tell us ("I'm scared, I'm overworked, I'm TIRED, etc). This is valuable information to help us navigate our needs.

How can you best support yourself and your parts this week?

Happy Sunday! We all hold protective parts within us that work to shield us from unresolved pain.

They can be PROACTIVE (perfectionsim, pleasing, task manager, etc) or REACTIVE (numbing, distracting, extreme, etc).

When we befriend those parts we can learn their intentions for us and they can build trust in us.

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Welcome! My name is Claire Collins and I am the owner and operator at Sol Counseling and Wellness. I am a licensed psychotherapist specializing in treating a variety of mental health issues. Visit often as I will be posting various content around mental health and healing. And maybe lots of pics of my dog, Boulder. You never know.