The MBA School Of MBA Credentials

Unless, as one of my cheeky students pointed out, you committed murder. That would be a life sentence.

My lecture studio full of students is keen to work out what the "businessman" is hiding under his hand circled in yellow?

Suggestions so far include:

- A hidden compartment where the late colleague has hidden whistleblower secrets on a USB stick

- The man is married and the photographer is highlighting that he had taken off his wedding band in the hope of "picking up" at the funeral

- His thumb has disappeared up into a little access hole through which one pallbearer tries to tickle the occupant as a last test they are actually dead

Do you have any better suggestions?

"Only 2% of Leaders possess this Secret Superpower!"
🎈

Did you know only 2% of leaders excel in balloon animal strategy?

Surprising, isn't it?

We often talk about the importance of analytical intelligence, strategic vision, and leadership charisma. But what about balloon animal artistry? It's a secret superpower that often goes unrecognised.

Balloon animal strategy, the ability to twist and shape balloons into various forms, plays an integral part in building strong, effective teams. It's not just about being fun, it's about creativity. It's about seeing possibilities in every twist and turn and acting accordingly. It's about imaginative intelligence and whimsical awareness.

Benefits?
Oh, there are plenty!

It fosters open communication.
It boosts team morale.
It aids in conflict resolution.
It encourages innovation.

So, how can you develop this superpower? Here are some actionable tips:

Practise active twisting.

Show genuine interest in your team's balloon ideas and concerns.

Be open to feedback.

Take time to understand your team's balloon animal preferences.

Do you believe balloon animal strategy is an under-appreciated leadership trait?

Let's get the conversation started!

Repost ♻️ if you find it useful.

Follow me, Professor Sebastian Longsword, for more leadership insights like these!

Lead differently! Beat yesterday! Be better balloon artists.

This is why all our students get an MBA School lock pick set on graduation day.

And it’s not just a run-of-the-mill set, this one opens office doors, safes, and, especially toilet cubicle doors (avoids many of those post business lunch predicaments that MBAs find themselves in).

Associate Professor Schmock originated this idea and he is affectionately acknowledged during the ceremony through a call and response.

Professor Longsword (holding the lock pick set): Lock
Graduate (holding out hand to receive it): Schmock

The Professor strikes again. This time, reflecting on a University of Oxford course that promises to explain to you the "AI's full potential".

Instead, the Professor just asked three different AI tools to give their opinions: Perplexity AI, OpenAI, and Google's Gemini.

Get learned fast!!

What Is AI's Full Potential? The Alternative To Oxford University's Course | The MBA School of MBA Credentials Explore Oxford's AI-Powered MBA Degrees: Flexibility, Efficiency, And Customisation For Modern Professionals. Transform Your Career With AI-Enhanced Learning.

From the mighty pen of Professor Longsword:

To the students, faculty, MBA graduates, and the marketers I addressed last week at the Australian Marketing Institute SA event, look at this evolution of MBA marketing.

The The University of Adelaide has shown that while getting a graduate certificate is an accreditation that still honours your humanity, when you move up to an MBA, then you need to shave that designer stubble and get ready to go in for the kill in your crisp white shirt.

I shall reflect on this further in an article soon.

For now, though, it's just gone 5pm, so I'm going to pop into the bathroom and have my second, closer, MBA-worthy shave for the day!

After delivering a presentation for the Australian Marketing Institute SA, dinner at Rostrevor Pizza Bar is worthy of an MBA!

OFFICIAL ABRIDGED TRANSCRIPT, PROFESSOR LONGSWORD’S INTRODUCTION FOR SATC CEO, EMMA TERRY, MURRAY BRIDGE, MAY 2024:

Let us turn our scholarly gaze upon the distinguished Emma Terry, whose ascendancy to the helm of the South Australian Tourism Commission in the year of 2023 marks a pivotal chapter in the annals of tourism. As the chief steward of our state's wanderlust dreams, Emma hails from the revered isle of Tasmania—yes, that verdant jewel set in Neptune’s embrace, where every endeavour quite literally crosses seas, embodying the true spirit of an export.

Before her noble tenure in our lands, Emma served as the Chief Marketing Officer of Tourism Tasmania, where she orchestrated the "Come Down for Air" campaign and its wintry counterpart, the Off Season Initiative. One must marvel at the audacious wisdom of inviting souls to seek solace in the bracing climes of winter—a philosophic inversion of the common flight to warmth, crafted by a mind both enlightened and unbounded.

In her eclectic odyssey through the professional spheres—spanning hospitality, the alchemical realms of renewable energy, and the strategic conduits of transport—Emma has shown a relentless pursuit of innovation. Her leadership in digital transformation and sector planning whispers of a Socratic wisdom, melding the old with the new, challenging entrenched perceptions with the grace of a modern-day Athena.

Thus, as we gather here tonight, let us reflect upon the narrative to be shared by Emma Terry with the respect due to a scholar and the intrigue befitting a philosopher, for she is both the cartographer and the captain of our journey into the future of tourism. How fortunate are we, the curious and the learned, to partake in the unfolding story crafted by such a venerated guide.

Do you know this man?

His name on our student register is: Dmitry Yuryevich Khoroshev.

We need to contact him because his funds have not come through and we can’t accept these images as his ID photos because one has white pointy bits poking out of his ears, and the other has him looking bored with his life.

Our understanding was that he was interested in enrolling for:

Advanced Memetics: Crafting Viral Content through Cultural DNA Manipulation
Delve into the art of creating content that infects the mind, manipulating cultural DNA to craft memes that replicate uncontrollably across social networks.

If you have any information, please inform our uninvited Visiting Fellow, V Putin, who will take down your information and then offer you a lovely cup of tea.

Da Professor is in da house!

Apologies for the slightly colloquial language employed in this post. It might be being influenced by the academic duff duff music he is immersing himself in as he writes his paper to be delivered to the Australian Marketing Institute SA on Thursday next week.

The professor is adding final touches to his important speech to the Australian Marketing Institute SA next week.

It’s a rally call for boosting the prestige, power, and adaptability of the MBA, thanks to our AI protocol.

The professor unveils his "Inter Course" Method for boosting Australia's falling birth rates.

When Australia is in a tight spot, you can trust the professor to lend a hand because he's always pregnant with possibilities!

Recent media coverage has made Professor Longsword straighten up and apply himself. He says Jo Laverty's raising of the issue last evening on ABC Adelaide was the final caress his intellect needed, to spring into action.

Out of the Books, Into the Nooks: Fostering Family While Fast-Tracking MBAs | The MBA School of MBA Credentials Out Of The Books, Into The Nooks: Explore How Our Faster MBA Degrees Help Students Balance Careers And Family Life.

What are the top reasons students enroll in MBA programs?

The MBA School Of MBA Credentials has just activated open access on the paper by Longsword et al (2023), that investigates the rationale and classification of MBA enrollment reasons.

While most are expected, the presence of Burping in the list suggests further investigation is warranted, especially relating to School dining menus and the inclusion of gripe water in School wine bar post mix tap.

You can read more: https://mbaschool.com.au/unraveling-the-mysteries-of-mba-enrollment-insights-from-a-groundbreaking-study/

Sit. Read. Good person.

You'll Slobber Over This: Ingenious Money-Saving Invention by MBA Graduate | The MBA School of MBA Credentials Discover How An MBA Graduate's Inventive Use Of Fake Dog Slobber Is Revolutionising Office Savings And Bringing Humour To Business Meetings!

No crying over Arj Barker, just inspiration.

Babies, Bosoms, and Barker: A Lesson in Comedy and Compassion from The MBA School of MBA Credentials | The MBA School of MBA Credentials In a curious twist of events that might tickle the funny bone or raise an eyebrow, comedian Arj Barker recently found himself at the center of a controversy for demanding a breastfeeding mother leave his Melbourne Comedy Festival show because her baby was 'putting him off'. While Barker defended his...

Students, alumni, and marketers hungry to succeed in life, it is official: Professor Sebastian Longsword will be speaking at an exclusive event for the Australian Marketing Institute in Adelaide on May 16.

We are slowly releasing some of his older academic journal articles on the website, and he has some articles he'll be sharing there soon, to set the scene.

That's right, he'll be reluctantly putting down his well worn copy of Marketing by Philip Kotler et al, and tapping on his keyboard as he prepares some provocative aural treats.

SA Marketers Meet-Up: Marketing from the Fringe - AMI Join the Australian Marketing Institute SA Branch for an evening of networking and a unique opportunity to see a Fringe show highlight with a marketing twist.

Ever imagined a school where AI tailors your MBA as finely as a bespoke suit? 🌟 Dive into our paper and discover a place where education is as unique as you are!

You can read the full academic paper online for free here (use the link in our bio, too): https://mbaschool.com.au/the-ai-mba-paradigm-engineering-success-through-hyper-personalisation/

Have you seen today's story on ABC News about two women who want to run as one political candidate?

The Professor not only supports this novel approach to job sharing, he wants to see the concept go further, with insights drawn from Scott Morrison (ScoMo) and Greek Mythology, and a mighty hat tip to the CSIRO, Dr Karl Kruszelnicki, and even headphone retailers like Harvey Norman.

Australian Parliament Should Allow Job-Sharing MPs Because It's What Every Politician Secretly Wants. But Does It Go Far Enough? | The MBA School of MBA Credentials Explore Job-Sharing MPs And The Hydra Protocol: Innovative Solutions For Political Accountability! More MBA Thinking From Professor Longsword.

Please congratulate Enzo from Enzo's Ristorante, Pizzeria e Bar on earning his well deserved MBA Degree in recognition of his decades of tirelessly educating Adelaidean diners in the delight and appreciation of fine dining; one mouthful at a time.

Yes, you could say that many of us who have drawn succour from his fine establishment, have been carefully and generously spoon fed.

But, InDaily, where are our other august institutions and their honorary degrees? Where is The University of Adelaide, University of South Australia, Flinders University, or even TAFE SA Hospitality & Tourism?

Thank goodness for The MBA School Of MBA Credentials, otherwise SA’s tertiary sector would starve our culinary luminaries of the garnishing they deserve!

Truly humbling. We just received the most tear-jerking testimonials from one of our students. It's gone straight to our Courses page.

Here it is (we are privileged to be able to engender such life and career transformations in our students):

"As a recent graduate of the MBA in Artificial Empathy Algorithms, I can't begin to express how transformative this program has been for my career. The ability to cry on demand literally saved my job. Just last month, a perfectly timed tearful outburst turned a potentially career-ending performance review into a sympathetic coaching session. Moreover, learning to smile in a genuinely caring manner has revolutionised how I handle meetings with upper management, turning what used to be unbearable time-wasting sessions into tolerable, even mildly enjoyable, encounters. This degree hasn’t just taught me about algorithms; it's mastered the art of corporate survival!"
Rex K.
Master Emoter

Courses here: mbaschool.com.au/courses/

Courses | The MBA School of MBA Credentials The MBA School Of MBA Credentials Course List The MBA School Of MBA Credentials is known the world over for its groundbreaking approach to higher education.It made headlines in all MBA publications in 2021, when it launched A Lunchtime MBA.Again, it made headlines when 2023 saw it release The MBA…

I am most intrigued by this concept of a “growth pla”.

Initially, I thought it was a simple typo by the Australian Centre for Business Growth, but then my good lady wife suggested it might be a “business plan” without the “n” to denote zero tolerance for negativity.

That got me thinking. What if the “N” has been dropped to suggest there is no “growth” without Nitrogen?

I then recall a paper I’d written about the importance of considering counter cultures in marketing by being “sinthetic” (embracing the aesthetic of sin), so I chanced my arm and flicked open my Funk & Wagnalls.

I learned that PLA stands for a different type of synthetic. Polylactic acid or polylactide (PLA) is a polyester made from renewable biomass, typically from fermented plant starch like corn, cassava, sugarcane or sugar beet pulp. And if there’s one thing I admire about students and faculty at the University of South Australia, it’s how they embrace all things fermented!

One thing’s for sure, if you pulp the paper your assignments are done on, then ferment the scraps into a student dorm spirit, it will help ignite the Nitrogen of your mind and your business should bloom.

Professor Sebastian Longsword

PS See, we don’t mind promoting the work of others when it is good quality “compost for the brain”.

A short note from the school caretaker.

Today, we received this message from Telcocci Glorybee:

---------------------------------

"Important Notification:

Your page is scheduled for permanent deletion due to a post that has infringed upon our trademark rights. We have reached this decision after a thorough review and in accordance with our intellectual property protection policies.

If you believe this to be a misunderstanding, we kindly request you to file a complaint seeking the reinstatement of your page prior to its removal from Facebook.

Request for Review: [phishing attack link removed going to hopp.bio website]

We understand that this situation may impact your ongoing business operations. However, please be informed that if we do not receive a complaint from you, our decision will be final.

Your cooperation and understanding are greatly appreciated. Should you have any inquiries or apprehensions, please feel free to reach out to us.

Sincerely,
Facebook Support Team"

---------------------------------------------------

We just wanted to let you know the professor has sent a reply, thus:

Thank you. This is splendidly funny. May we print this in our staff newsletter in the Joke Of The Week column? That would certainly allay my "apprehensions". The Professor

PS Are you related to Tothefather, Totheson, and Totheholyghost? They shared the same family name of Glorybee

Today we grab something hefty in our hands to achieve a state of blissful reflection as we prepare to toast the late, great Barry Humphries.

Thank you for your body of work and for spawning alter egos everywhere; even on our campus.

Vale Barry Humphries

Over on LinkedIn, a marketing person has championed the celebration-worthy failure of Elon Musk’s latest rocket.

Professor Longsword replied:

“I agree and it’s the same at home with my good lady wife.
When things fizz out after four minutes, she celebrates that she can get on with other hobbies and I celebrate that I went as far as I did.
Our new motto should be: Lie there and think of Elon Musk!”

_________________________________

Steven Bartlett
Building: Thirdweb & Flight Story & The Diary Of A CEO
Does this look like a group of people that just "failed"? 🤔 This is a video of the team at SpaceX, seconds after their hard work—the rocket they've spent years building—exploded in mid-air! Why are they happy? 👇🏽

✅ Failure is feedback.

In highly innovative teams, failure is unavoidable. You're building things with no precedent or blueprint, so you have no choice but to fail your way to the right answer.

💡 As Thomas Edison, inventor of the lightbulb, said, "I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work." The SpaceX team knows that this failure brings them one step closer to success.

There's a lesson here for all business leaders, CEOs, and managers who want to create truly innovative things—you cannot do that without a culture that seeks out and then celebrates failure. Incentives drive behavior.

❌ If your team feels that they will be penalized for a failed experiment, they will not experiment.

✅ If they believe that failed experiments will be rewarded, like SpaceX, you may just become one of the most innovative companies in the world.

Besides, the best talent in the world want to work at places where they're safe to fail their way to the right answer.

Failure is feedback, and feedback is knowledge, and knowledge is power.

Our job at Flight Story is to help our clients innovate in their markeitng and communications and we know that happens if we can create an environment where our clients out-fail their competition!

A dear IT friend of the Professor has asked Bing Images to create some photos.

The first group was to create “a professor with a long sword, avant-garde style”.

The second group was just using the term “Professor, Longsword”.

The third image, is you know who!

Why, LinkedIn, why?

Why do you need to tell me about Steve’s connections and why would I want to trawl through them?

If you were a human, you’d be calling me up to go and peer through the window at Steve’s house when he has friends over, or trail behind him at networking events to pounce on anybody who chatted to him.

Stop it. You’re better than this.

Or have you been taken over by Elon or Mark?

To mark International Women's Day, here is the Gender Pay Gap question that was part of 100% MBA Success: Whisky And Trivia With Professor Longsword.

Can you guess which answer was the most popular?

The pay gap between men and women is a serious issue. Which of the following tactics would help achieve pay parity the best?

A) Determine who gets paid what each week by entering all employees into the random salary draw

B) Set up a Salary reduction booth. Men can enter the booth and voluntarily have their salaries reduced with proceeds going to raising women’s salaries. In return, the men get badges saying, I’m part of the solution.

C) Install a punching bag in the office with a man's face on it. Every time a woman hits the punching bag, her salary goes up by a small percentage. This will help women release their frustration and earn more money at the same time.

Professor Longsword is at the Ed Sheeran concert tonight in Adelaide, playing a role backstage as a mentor and advisor.

Professor longsword was quite taken by Ed’s writing, when he came across the lyrics to the song, “Don’t”.

What the professor loves about that song is that it’s all about a young couple’s commitment to studying late at night, as you’ll see in these lyrics:

She told me, "I was never looking for a friend
Maybe you could swing by my room around ten
Baby, bring the lemon and a bottle of gin
We'll be in between the sheets 'til the late AM"
Baby, if you wanted me then should have just said.

He loves how the young woman is so upfront about not looking for a friend, but looking for a study partner, who would enjoy a little sip of gin, while studying hard and working between the sheets of all the pages of the books, until the very early morning hours.

Inspirational family entertainment! One might say it’s perfect.