Mind your Mind

Articles on Self Awareness and personal development, Private coaching and counseling sessions, perso

The vast majority of Human Beings are identified with their mind and with thinking. As children become socialised their minds get conditioned away from paying attention and feeling deeply into their inner nature. Instead we teach children how to rely on thinking for every aspect of life. Thinking without awareness of thinking prevents individuals from being fully present to what is arising moment

01/04/2024

Never Mind your noisy mind

When you talk to yourself, who is speaking and who is listening? Are you aware that you talk to yourself? When you encounter a person talking to themselves, do you assume they’re mentally ill? If you do, how come when you do it quietly, you think that is sane?

I have developed a method to cultivate Mental Health called Mind your mind. Big Mind is Beingness. It is silent, and it pays attention, it is Benevolent-is does no harm. It doesn’t think. The little mind thinks and talks to itself: this is your ego.

Mind your mind means to notice what and how your ego is thinking. The what are beliefs, and the how means thinking negatively or realistically. Mind your mind happens when there is an aware-ego. This stage of Personal Development arises when you begin to access living knowledge and core beliefs cease to define you and interpret the world. The un-aware ego is unconscious of itself; core beliefs rule it.

There is an absolute difference between a noisy mind and a silent Mind. A noisy mind is a continuous, useless commentary about everything. It consists of a dialogue or monologue between different ego fragments. Mental noise focuses your attention on fear scenarios that maintain low-level uneasiness, dreadful anticipation of pain and suffering, and a hostile, competitive, suspicious, combative attitude. A noisy mind consistently gets stuck in negativity.

“A noisy mind is driven by a constant automatic senseless stream of negative thoughts”

Survival instincts are automatic. This is a good thing. It is the reason your body can protect itself when facing actual danger. Instincts are an efficient, built-in biological mechanism that doesn’t waste time thinking. This is a crucial point to know when you endeavor to override your mental noise. Inside the noisy mind, imagined fears feel dangerous, so they are accepted as real. This is insane.

Senseless means lacking sensitivity and reason, therefore making no sense. The more you think, the less you feel. Excessive thinking diverts attention away from being aware of how the body feels. By the time thinking becomes an addiction, you can’t stop thinking; there are limited ways of thinking that produce few repetitive emotional states. Negative thinking generates negative emotions. Remember, negative thoughts mean getting stuck thinking about problems instead of focusing on solutions. Can you imagine not needing to think because no-thing is wrong?

Thinking without reason and unaware of consequences, is thinking without a valid cause, explanation, or justification for a point of view that drives a behavior or prevents intelligent loving, decision-making and benevolent action.

“Senseless thinking is unreasonable and irrational. It doesn’t make sense. Sensible ideas are reasonable, harmless, loving and intelligent”

When mental noise captures your attention, it turns you into a person inside a personality. Personhood is normal and limiting when you reach adulthood. The potential for mature human Beings is to utilize intuition and common sense to access useful internal resources, to be responsible, loving, respectful, and to embrace unexpected challenges in real-time instead of avoiding them.

Maturity requires an open, curious, imaginative mind guided by Love. One willing and able to implement new ideas that lead to solutions beyond what is known. An open mind takes sensible risks without hesitation.

“The un-aware ego thinks based on beliefs and mistakes beliefs for living knowledge”

You inevitably absorbed the beliefs of your parents, family, and culture. Nevertheless, to mature and define your autonomy and Sovereignty, you need to relinquish beliefs and the definitions and interpretations others passed or imposed on you, and embrace living knowledge based on your experiences. Living knowledge is intelligent, loving, respectful, reasonable, intuitive, and guided by common sense, which is verified by experience without past associations or interpretations.

Becoming aware of self-talk is a great leap forward in maturing. Deleting negative beliefs and childhood self-images welcomes being Loving and respectful, true Self-confidence, and being, autonomous, and Sovereign. The first step in being silent is learning to listen. The most efficient way to listen is to stop being distracted by talking nonsense to yourself.

Written by Osiris Montenegro

29/03/2024

Po*******hy:
Effects & consequences Part 2

Craving and wanting s*x are two primary triggers for the release of dopamine, the feel-good pleasure hormone. When wanting, craving, and needing to feel good is associated with s*x, after a while, ma********on becomes boring, and Po*******hy becomes much more stimulating. Eventually, P**n use has a diminishing effect, so more P**n is needed to feel good. This is how P**n addiction sets in.

The Brain rewires itself to be stimulated and have a release through ma********on by watching s*x, not by engaging with a Lover feeling Love, having sensual touch, smelling your lover, and feeling passion.

"For most users, po*******hy is not about s*x"

Po*******hy is not necessarily about s*xual perversion. Po*******hy is a powerful emotional coping mechanism. Frequent use of P**n desensitizes and stimulates the Brain. P**n suppresses awareness of feeling strong negative emotions: Fear of rejection, dreadful guilt, and shame for feeling worthless. These personal issues come from childhood emotional wounds that have not been healed.

When emotional wounds are healed and integrated, a realistic, confident, and empowered character emerges to replace the addict's personality. If you suffer from any addiction, avoiding the substance only generates another addiction. The end of addiction comes from understanding the original wound and realizing that you are no longer the victim who endured something horrible.

The transformation from a victim of abuse or neglect to an empowered individual is a process of dis-identification, which is unique to each individual. Dis-identification means stopping being defined by something false, like an unconscious childhood negative self-image. It facilitates healing emotional wounds and advancing personal development.

Adults that frequently watch P**n, play video games, or need to be busy lack the skills of healthy emotional regulation to deal with the stress of their life. These individuals use P**n to distract themselves from recurring unpleasant states of Being.

Men and P**n addiction:

The brain "thinks in pictures," meaning it generates images. Men tend to favor visual acuity. We instinctively see the world, while women naturally feel the world. Men addicted to P**n are not drawn to it because they are feeling h***y in the moment. Instead, an unconscious thought gets triggered when boredom or a familiar stressful situation arises, which starts craving for a release of tension. P**n addiction torments the user. It has detrimental emotional consequences similar to substance addiction. The addict is never fully present. Part of their attention is unconsciously craving a release.

The addiction suppresses experiencing feeling bad about yourself and offers temporary euphoria. When there is ma********on and an or**sm, a dopamine release causes the brain activity to slow down. A calm mind feels good…momentarily.

The root problem of p**n addiction is emotional. There is a familiar nagging feeling of desperation that triggers watching P**n to counteract feeling bad by seeking pleasure.

"P**n addiction is the result of needing super strong stimulation to surpass what you have gotten used to"

Consequences of P**n addiction:

S*xual addiction eventually manifests two s*xual malfunctions in men: erectile dysfunction and delayed ej*******on. Ma********ng to P**n doesn't match the body stimulation required for in*******se. Jerking off feels different than having s*x. Your mind adapts to only visual stimulation: no touch, smell, or emotional closeness. Men eventually can't get the stimulus to maintain an er****on or climax because the actual sensations of having ge***al s*x are not enough to ej*****te.

"For p**n addicts, mental stimulation becomes stronger than actual in*******se"

Another issue is feeling ashamed. Men have difficulty forming and maintaining an er****on when they unconsciously feel worthless. Conversely, men resort to P**n because they can't have or maintain an er****on while having s*x. This negative loop gets interrupted through self-awareness skills that lead to dis-identification.

Relationship issues underlying p**n use:

Unless adequately trained, most couples tend to lack effective communication skills. Primarily, couples don't know how to listen empathically; secondarily, they fear speaking honestly and truthfully. The result is harboring unmet expectations about intimacy, s*xual fulfillment, and other significant challenges. Poor communication tends to generate resentment.

A bad habit is withholding. Lovers fail to communicate their feelings and desires to avoid rejection and ridicule. Withholding builds up frustration that turns into passive aggression in the relationship. Men can turn to P**n or have an affair, and women lose interest in s*x or find another lover. Couples Therapy and individual counseling can resolve negative relationship patterns. Most importantly, it is essential to identify personal and relationship values grounded in Love and self-worth.

Summary: Po*******hy is a visual artificial stimulation often performed by artificially enhanced younger women, who tend to be beautiful, and male actors usually with a large p***s. P**n addiction demands stronger stimulation, which means more variety, and eventually violent, denigrating s*xual behavior-for example, hard-core s*x or do******ix.

P**n addiction covers up issues, including emotional trauma, negative body image, and negative self-images that generate insecurity, resentment, shame, and guilt. Negativity generates anger that gets repressed by the momentary release of tension caused by watching P**n.

Po*******hy interferes with actual s*xual relationships by generating fantasies with unrealistic s*xual expectations and a decrease in emotional intimacy and physical sensitivity. Po*******hy conditions the user to crave instant gratification whenever a stressful situation arises. This results in stress triggering the compulsion for P**n to cover up feelings of inadequacy-not being good enough and not deserving of Love.

P**n addiction and casual P**n viewing associate physical pleasure without a Lover, only visual stimulation. This loveless pleasure is a fantasy dissociated from the complexity of actual relationships that thrive despite stressful situations because Love is present to bond and heal the relationship.

Written by Osiris Montenegro

29/03/2024

Po*******hy:
Effects & Consequences Part 1

This article aims to inform you, not to judge or condemn Po*******hy or its use. Once you understand the effects and consequences of watching Po*******hy then you decide what to do about it. Women use of Po*******hy tends to be different. Women prioritize emotional connection with a narrative context. Nevertheless, Po*******hy is an artificial way to become s*xually aroused-Why is this needed?

Po*******hy conditions your brain's sensitivity to stimuli and your ability to connect emotionally to a Lover. The more you use it, the more you need to watch it to maintain the same level of pleasure-this leads to p**n addiction.

Over time, P**n interferes with romantic s*xual intimacy. There is nothing casual about s*xual in*******se. Libido, the energy that fuels s*xual drive, can be misused to avoid personal issues instead of resolving them. Seeking pleasure is an instinctual way to avoid pain. However, when you are emotionally injured, seeking pleasure becomes a harmful coping mechanism instead of healthy mature emotional regulation. Coping mechanisms avoid the root cause of the emotional injury, so the injury doesn’t heal.

"P**n caters only to satisfying a physical desire triggered by fantasy. It lacks meaningful intimacy"

The urge to procreate has a powerful effect on the brain. It drives the hormones that generate s*xual desires. When you or**sm, there is a release of the feel-good hormone dopamine. Physical desire initiates the craving for instant gratification. S*x driven by physical attraction without any meaningful connection is predatory behavior. The presence of Love and Appreciation make s*xuality an expression of Human-kind.

"Casual s*x" lacks the fulfillment of emotional bonding lovers enjoy. The instinct to bond is powerful in women. Bonding is how nature ensures attachment for procreation and nurturing children. Denying longing for emotional connection hurts women and men. It leads to anger suppression, which is acted out as passive-aggression: being hateful and fearful simultaneously. This is how domineering and submissive fixed s*xual roles come into existence.

Technology's negative impact on romantic intimacy:

Technology has changed individuals and society at large. Connection through technology lacks the physical presence that conveys care and closeness, whether it is friendship or a romantic connection. Social media, dating apps, and basically all forms of virtual communication make connecting more accessible and, in many ways, more distant. Physical closeness captures subtle, precious, non-verbal communication.

Loveless s*x:

"Love includes desire, desire alone doesn't include love, desire turns the lover into an object of desire"

Digital intimacy is where Po*******hy distorts healthy human s*xual behavior. Loving s*xual behavior includes intimacy, pleasure, belonging, bonding, authenticity, and safety that welcomes vulnerability. Because P**n is anonymous and it offers an excessive variety of experiences, it succeeds in generating new fantasies to keep the viewer engaged. P**n becomes an activity that replaces having an actual relationship to enjoy s*xuality.

"P**n misrepresents the understanding and complexity of actual romantic relationships."

In actual romantic relationships, there is a context that gives meaning to s*xual encounters. P**n creates unrealistic, often selfish, expectations by excluding emotional closeness. It blurs the boundaries between harmless and respectful contact and harmful and shaming behavior.

Po*******hy can include violence and domination. Violence distorts erotic sensual behavior. It excludes playfulness and the enjoyment of seduction. It denies the relevance of courtship, the period of intimacy where Lovers discover each other and develop a healthy, grounded, and realistic attraction before they have s*x.

P**n's exclusive focus on the body can degrade to masochism: deriving s*xual pleasure from one's pain and humiliation. When men and women addicted to P**n, and video games, enjoy watching someone suffering or destroying something, they are sublimating their suppressed anger. In other words, when you have issues with anger: fearing it (rejecting it), acting it out (stuck in it) or hating it ( controlling it), one way to avoid your anger is by turning it into something pleasurable.

If you find it difficult to connect emotionally, or are addicted to po*******hy, video games, or other substances, seek professional help. Every one of us has some degree of emotional wounding, its part of human existence, at this time.

In part two of this article, I will expand on how using Po*******hy as a coping mechanism to distract from painful and emotional wounds is harmful and can lead to p**n addiction.

Written by Osiris Montenegro

11/03/2024

Mastering clear communication skills:
Looking, observing & Witnessing
Communication, the sending and receiving of information, is a verbal and non-verbal dynamic action. The world around you is constantly communicating with you. Are you aware of your communication with the world around you? Are you aware of your internal communication?

Your body continuously sends messages about its well-being or lack thereof. It also senses the environment around you and signals if it is safe or not safe. The untrained "normal" ego is constantly in a dialogue with itself. The Being that you are communicates its presence to others by sometimes being silent and other times speaking. A terrified or hateful ego can also be quiet, meaning it is not speaking words but is thinking and transmitting emotional energy.

"The ego looks at things, the aware-ego can observe, and the presence of you bears witness"

Looking

When the ego looks at something, it is primarily aware of itself, mainly how it feels towards the object it is facing. This is registered amidst its internal conversation, which is a monologue or a dialogue. When you talk to yourself, how many voices are there?

When the ego communicates by looking at the person they are talking to, there is no empathy, no feeling connecting to the other, only thoughts about the other, which generate an internal experience ungrounded in reality, a delusion, a fantasy, a hallucination projected to the person you are looking at. For example, when you feel an instant infatuation or aversion, such as hatred towards someone.

Observing

The act of observing embodies awareness of the other, whatever it is. The difference between looking and observing is silence. The observer can be silent. When the aware ego observes something, it experiences a relationship with the object it is observing. Here, there is a felt intuitive sense of the other because no attention is diverted to thinking while observing is happening. This heightened sensitivity is the result of being silent enough that awareness of the other is registered within.

Even though observation does not touch the observer deep enough to affect and inspire him or her to act in any particular way, it engages the observer in a relationship with the object of observation. Observation opens access to an intimate connection, one where space for the possibility of new, spontaneous outcomes can emerge.

Witnessing

Witnessing in the context of communication embodies awareness and presence simultaneously. This state of being conveys authenticity and confidence to speak and act congruently in response to a situation, circumstance, or event.

Witnessing touches the witness so that they are affected by the reality of what they see. Sensitivity to witness can be cultivated and mastered by practicing silence and stillness. Witnessing is a dynamic way of Being your authentic Self.

To bear witness is to feel deeply within you the experience you are interacting with, for example, feeling immense joy, deep compassion, reverence, admiration, or a burst of vitality to act appropriately if danger arises.

When you embody silence, your attention is focused, not distracted by familiar mental noise such as the voice of doubt, envy, jealousy, heartless judgments, criticisms, etc. In the state of witnessing, if you are attacked, there is no hesitation or confusion about how to protect yourself, and when you are treated with kindness, there is no hesitation to be grateful.

Written by Osiris Montenegro
Clear communication class March 15-16-17 Oslo, Norway

11/03/2024

Clear communication & the aware ego

Poor communication skills negatively affect human interactions. It is incorrect to assume you communicate well because you know what you want to say. More is needed. Clear communication is between the sender of information and the intended receiver. This applies to internal communication as well. You must be able to listen to yourself while you speak. This is why the aware ego stage of development is necessary.

Clear communication is intelligent and effective. Intelligent communication means the information being sent is accurate, knowledgeable, and understandable to the receiver. Effective communication means the intended information exchange is successful, and the sender gets a clear, intelligent reply from the receiver.

Sending information:

The sender of information initiates communication. Before the sender sends any information to another, she must be clear about what she intends to convey. The data needs to be coherent, meaning it makes sense; accurate, meaning it is correct; and concise, meaning brief and to the point.

The next crucial step is getting the receiver's attention. People who talk at people are bound to encounter resistance. A sender who fails to capture the receiver's full attention is responsible for miscommunication, particularly when the receiver is already engaged in something else. A simple and direct way to ask for attention is to ask, "May I have your attention?" If you know who you are addressing, it is even more effective to call them by their name first and then ask for their attention.

Understanding body language:

Clear communication includes noticing body language’s meaningful non-verbal cues. These cues alert the sender and receiver of the available receptivity with whom they communicate.

Body language includes the facial expression. Openness: are the arms and legs opened or crossed? Is the tone of voice adequate, loud, or whispering? Eyesight: direct eye contact or not. Eye expression: congruent or not, brightness or dullness in the eyes. Is the skin color on the face dull, red, glowing, or pale? Is breathing shallow, deep, rhythmic, or irregular? Notice dry coughing, tension in the throat, jaw? Can you appreciate how rich and complex body language is? By the way, reading body language applies to conversations without visual input.

Receiving information:

Failure to receive information comes from poor listening skills or incoherent messages. As you will learn when addressing the aware ego, listening is essential for clear communication. A good listener pays attention deliberately and doesn't think while they listen.

"Thinking while someone is talking is a sign of poor listening"

A good listener registers how the information impacts them. They track their own body language and notice if they are responding appropriately or reacting involuntarily. A good listener also pays attention to the body language of the sender and senses if it is congruent with their message.

The Aware-Ego

Awareness is aware; it does not think. Without the learned skill of maintaining focused attention, a person’s ego, which thinks continuously, captures their attention and directs it to energize a the same thoughts, emotions, and behaviors that make up their personality. On its own, the ego is self-centered.

So, who is aware? The conscious Being that you are. Awareness transforms into presence when you, as a conscious being, can pay attention and simultaneously observe, listen, feel your internal experience, and track what is happening around you, without thinking!

"Being present is a learned skill for adults who were socialised through reward and punishment"

Reward and punishment generate performance anxiety, fear of failure, rejection, and punishment. Fear impairs clear communication. It creates negative expectations, which make listening and speaking difficult. The greater the fear, the more unconscious and the less aware the ego becomes.

Irrational fears come from unhealed trauma. When you are traumatised, there is an ever-present expectation of something terrible happening. A biased suspiciousness impairs the ability to relax and deliberately pay attention, discern information, and make intelligent decisions in real time.

Lack of self-awareness is unhealthy, especially for adults. Without awareness, people identify with what they are thinking, and automatically act out familiar mental programs. When you are thinking, your attention is diverted away from deliberate listening, observing, and sensing yourself.

The unaware ego is unconscious; it functions on autopilot. It is constantly triggered by false associations that cause emotional reactivity. It can't listen.

The aware ego can listen, observe, and sense simultaneously. It pays attention without being distracted by mental noise. It is capable of critical thinking and has access to intuitive knowledge and common sense. It can decide to accept or decline any proposition or request.

The maturation and transformation from an unconscious ego to an adult aware ego is fueled by a mindset of self-care and self-appreciation. Together, these qualities engage Love, which activates self-healing and embodies authentic, sovereign Self-expression.

Written by Osiris Montenegro
Clear communication class March 15-16-17 Oslo, Norway

05/03/2024

Read labels avoid eating insects 😎

05/03/2024

Dear family and friends, thank you for each of your greetings. Together they are a joyful celebration that inspires me to dedicate this birthday to being in more alignment with Mother Earth and contribute to world Peace with my inner peace 💜

Why France’s New “Anti-Vax Law” is MUCH Worse Than You Think 26/02/2024

What about the protection of free speech?

Why France’s New “Anti-Vax Law” is MUCH Worse Than You Think Kit Knightly Last week France passed a new law, “to strengthen the fight against sectarian abuses and improve the support of victims.” . This was widely covered in the alt-media as a & #…

20/02/2024

Arguing for Limitations

Arguing for limitations is immature, unintelligent, and a sign of insecurity covered with stubborn arrogance. This behavior reflects a rebellious attitude with a mindset against authority. If you are blessed with raising children, you know how this begins around the terrible twos when a child knows what they want, and nothing else appeases them.

There is a stark contrast between arguing for limitations, holding your ground, and defending a position or perspective you know to be true. However, depending on the context of the circumstances, sometimes a different decision emerges when you are a confident, mature adult: Would I rather be right or be Loving? When this question arises, it is already built in to surrender an argument as long as it doesn't harm you or others.

Adults who regularly find themselves frustrated, irritated, impatient, and at odds with others carry within them a need to be right. This negativity stems from different reasons and circumstances where there was a power struggle with external authority. Perhaps your preferences were not respected, or they were ignored, or you were manipulated to give up something to get what you wanted.

The result is a distrust of authority and an automatic stubborn, often arrogant defiance to comply with what is being asked or agree with what is being pointed out. The individual who routinely finds themselves in conflict with others and has an instant reaction to disagree or control a situation is functioning within the victim mentality. Victims are powerless. They lack the strength to alter their circumstances. All children experience this situation in one way or another.

When the power struggle with authority during early childhood leads to feeling guilty, ashamed, or afraid to want what you want, how you want it, and when you want it, an imprint gets crystallized. A child develops, or copies from one of the parents, a way to deal with the negation of their needs, wants, and desires: comply with authorities' demands and become a good child or rebel against authority and hold firm against being controlled. These are compensatory behaviors to deal with feeling threatened.

Compensatory behavior doesn't work well in the adult world. People who cannot say no to others are often victims of manipulation, deceit, betrayal, and control by others. People who automatically clamp down and demand to be right exhibit insecurity and issues with trust and fear of being controlled, so they become control freaks and tyrants.

When do you hold your ground? When do you surrender?

As you have more life experiences and learn from them, it becomes easier to know when you are immature and stubborn or confident and reasonable. The first new habit to acquire is to remember to have an open mind. Rebellious individuals have their minds made up; they are right! With an open mind, you can access intuition and common sense.

These two sources of knowledge confirm and complement each other. For intuition, in particular, a relaxed abdomen is required. An intuitive "hit" is a straightforward yet subtle YES or NO sensation. If you are already tense with fear or anger, you won't be able to discern the message. Also, depending on the strength of your negative self-images, your intuitive knowledge will be automatically attacked by doubt, which leads to hesitation and worry. People get stuck arguing for their limitations because they fear making mistakes, looking bad, or getting shamed and humiliated.

Your common sense is immediate when it comes to making a decision. However, if you fear being controlled or punished and are afraid to admit you are incorrect, then a false positive self-image, "I know I'm right," will argue to hide the fact that you are not confident in your position.

If you recognize the patterns of fear of being controlled, punished, manipulated, punished or shamed, it is likely that you argue for limitations, or blindly agree and withhold your self-expression What do to? Discover your core values and embody them.

The value of your core values

A core value is a quality of being you embody effortlessly because you have a natural affinity to it. This affinity can be disrupted, distorted, or blocked by repeated trauma. Proud people are not humble, and humble individuals are not proud. The proud person needs external approval, confirmation, respect, etc. A mature, humble individual is self-contained; they are wise and have nothing to prove to feel good about themselves.

Each Human Being is unique, and this uniqueness comes from a specific set of qualities they naturally embody and gravitate toward. As a person matures, they become entrenched inside a rigid personality or develop a strong and dynamic character. A strong character does not argue for limitations and can choose Love instead of being right. Your inner landscape is vast when you genuinely value Love, self-worth, respect, harmony, well-being, loyalty, compassion, forgiveness, etc. You can discern, moment to moment, what is more important, functional, appropriate, efficient, and you act on that.

When you get stuck in your personality arguing, and deep down you are afraid. You cover that with aggression, control, and manipulation; you now know you are being reactive and very likely projecting an unresolved pattern with authority to a neutral situation.

A maturing individual will not feel diminished for conceding to a mistake, an error, or a failure. On the contrary, they will feel fulfilled for being open, honest, and undefended. The value of your core values is that they guide you and point out the obvious to you so that making decisions and taking action is simple, clear, and straightforward.

Written By Osiris Montenegro

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