The Delightful Counselor

Have you asked your professional these big questions? Whenever I am doing a new consult here are the FAQs that come up the most often, answered and ready to go.

Now that these are answered what are you big questions?

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Here is a cheat sheet for strengthening your voice. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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Sometimes what keeps you from expressing your pain, is that you have no idea how to express it. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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In this case, many people won't say anything at all. Try 👇🏽⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
👉🏽 Journaling ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
👉🏽 Talking to an animal 🐶⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
👉🏽 Creating voice memos⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
👉🏽 Writing notes you never send⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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Notice none of these involve another human. This cutes out worry of judgement and being invalidated or misunderstood. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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Also, be sure to safeguard your possessions if you plan to utilize one of these tips?⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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Have you done one of these activities? Share your experience in the comments.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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Suffering in silence is the hardest part of dealing with infertility. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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I didn't know who to speak to or turn to about what was happening to me. So I didn't.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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And the suffering continued. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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It's time to break down the taboo of fertility impairment, birth trauma, and difficult experiences of pregnancy.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀

It's time to normalize feeling other emotions aside from happiness in the journey to parenthood. 🤰🏽⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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Even people who have had children feel a range of emotions. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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It's not always blissful and sweet! ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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And that's okay. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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If we want to break stigmas and talk about it more, we have to learn how to acknowledging and accepting all of the emotions that come with it. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀

Trying to change what is problematic in your life is an uncomfortable process. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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What you'll find along the way is that people around you may be benefitting from the chaos and problems in your life. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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It's okay to acknowledge this and then make those changes anyway! ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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Who here has run into issues making changes in their life?⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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Every time you find yourself avoiding your needs to satisfy other's moods you're quieting your soul. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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We all have desires, needs, and wants. Sometimes those things may cause discomfort for others (ie, I'm going to the space, you'll have to watch the baby).⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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But that shouldn't mean your needs don't get met. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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There is BIG POWER in stillness!!! ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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And you can engage in self-care by being still. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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Too often society addresses self-care as if it is a series of actions one takes. These actions are often associated with some kind of monetary thing. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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For instance: you'll see people associate self-care with getting a manicure or pedicure or self-care with buying yourself flowers. And while those things are nice it doesn't have to be that at all. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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Self-care is also just letting your mind focus on your breath and the sensations in your body. Self-care is the act of noticing too! ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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So take some time today to prioritize yourself. Enjoy the act of noticing, and see what comes up for you.

The perinatal journey can be riddled with self-doubt. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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Know, that your body can believe you with the information you need. You just have to trust it. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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For some this is tough. You have felt betrayed and angry. That's okay. Give yourself the grace you need to move forward. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀

Motherhood is everything that I asked for... It's also the hardest thing I've ever done. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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But... I'd do it again and again. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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It's okay to feel a mix of emotions as you are venturing through motherhood. The is so much adjusting, growing, and changing. You come to face to face with a new person while missing the person you were. It's not a one or the other kind of thing... It's both. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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As you are moving through motherhood remember: ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
1. Your best is amazing ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
2. Your instinct can be trusted, it's okay to listen. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
3. You are capable of making good choices for both you and your little one. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
4. This is an overwhelming experience, you absolutely will get something wrong and that's okay. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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Don't be so hard on yourself. If it does feel too overwhelming remember there are people who are willing to listen and help as you need.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀

REPEAT AFTER ME: ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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" I will no longer shrink myself for the comfort of others." ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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Fertility sucks, it's challenging. Our bodies feel completely out of our control. You should speak about it. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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Pregnancy is hard work. Your body is making a whole universe for a tiny human. You should speak about it. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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Postpartum takes longer than we expected. It's a time of constant change and you're navigating a new world. You should speak about it. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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AND KEEP SPEAKING to others who will listen. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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Because you're doing big work that requires support. You're breaking curses and doing new things every day!!! ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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But, the key is to speak on it to get the continued support you need. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀

GIVE YOURSELF GRACE! ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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It's not easy breaking generational curses all while raising a tiny human, healing your body, and being a parent, partner, worker, and any other role you are playing. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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We seriously don't give ourselves enough credit for how multifaceted we are. And we seriously get down on ourselves for not executing each role perfectly. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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Give yourself room to just be. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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Take a deep breath and remember it's okay to make mistakes it's okay to be learning and growing. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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And if someone isn't hyping you up every day, find support who is willing to do so, because you deserve that! ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀

Did you know that there was such a thing as perinatal OCD? ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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Yup! ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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That's why parents develop intrusive thoughts coupled with obsessions and compulsions usually centered around the safety of the baby or "proper" parenthood. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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Parents can still have intrusive thoughts and not develop OCD! In fact Intrusive thoughts are a common occurrence. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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What does an intrusive thought look like: ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
1. Fear of hurting or harming baby ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
2. Fear of giving your child a serious disease ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
3. Fear of making a wrong decision. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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There are many others as well. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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What to do if you begin experiencing intrusive or unwanted thoughts? ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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Find a support person who can assist in processing and helping reduce and work through the thoughts and emotions that are rising. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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Too often parents don't speak about it out of fear of judgment or harsh repercussions. However, normalizing and educating on common occurrences helps to break the silence. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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Perinatal mental health is important and we discuss and seek assistance the healthy parents and babies are. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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When you dream about having a child, you typically don't dream about a NICU experience. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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NICUs can be scary places for new parents (and seasoned parents). There are so many restrictions, medical equipment, and other additive factors that you had not considered during pregnancy. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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It makes sense that there would be increased stress or even a likelihood of other symptoms. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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No worries, however, there are people who can assist you with this. You do not have to suffer in silence. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀

Fertility Impairment was one of the hardest ailments I've worked through.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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And at the time I felt like no one knew what to say. (Most times people still don't) ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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I used to say, I wish I had a professional hand-holder to be with me through those tough moments. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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What I later realized is what I was asking for was a doula, coach, or therapist to help me get through the moment. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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Now that I focus on this area, I AM THAT PROFESSIONAL HANDHOLDER. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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Here is my extended hand offering you some survival tips for this tough time. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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May you be well. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀

You cannot control the wave, but you can learn how to ride them. (Well some waves) ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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There are many things in life that are completely beyond your control. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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I learned this the most when I first began to navigate my fertility journey. There were so many things beyond my control, that felt like they would hit like a tune of breaks. Things like: ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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1. When my friends got pregnant. It felt like everyone was fertile except for me when I was facing infertility. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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2. When a fertility round did not work out. I once cried over blood work when I was misguided about my insurance and couldn't take a trigger shot. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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3. When I had to wait to start trying because my doctor said it was unsafe.

Say what now fertility, prenatal, postpartum mental health isn't as cut and dry as society makes it seem? ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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NOPE! ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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I was surprised when I first learn that non-birthing partners experience perinatal mood disorders as well. It makes complete sense, their live has changed, their partner has changed, so they may experience a mix of emotions and overwhelm as well. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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Which of these facts surprised you? ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀

I know we've built up all these plans in our minds. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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Plans turn into expectations and then we start to dream.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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We dream about how life could be, and then when that stage finally comes up, and it doesn't go as we thought, expected, dreamed then we grieve. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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There isn't anything wrong with planning or dreaming! ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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But when those plans, dreams, or even expectations do not come to fruition here's how you can move through it: ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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-Remember that life is full of twists and turns and just because those things come up, does not mean you are inadequate. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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-Refocus on the things that are within your grasps like your energy, your actions, and your responses. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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-Take care of yourself. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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You are important! ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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How do you move through tough moments like when life doesn't go the way you expected? Comment below I want to hear.

The journey through infertility can be an unnerving time. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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BUT⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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It can also be a time of self-discovery. You can learn more about your body and its capabilities than you ever had in your life. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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Here are three reasons why affirmations are important during rough times: ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
1. Helps to calm the mind and create peace when you are feeling the most unnerved. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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2. Through meditation you create room for self-discovery ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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3. You can rebuild and reconnect the relationship with your body mind and spirit through gentle honest discussions and phrases. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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Interested in building affirmation in your life? Check the link in the bio and see how a therapist can help you!⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀

YES, a village makes parenthood easier⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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BUT! ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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YOU are the HEAD of the village. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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What that means is the absence of that village you are the ones that make all the decisions. The village is meant to be your support. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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If the village isn't there or isn't providing you with what you and your family needs, you create a new village. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀

I'm STILL shocked about this number, because it's SO PREVELANT but no one is talking about it. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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PMAD's effects everyone in the household. And expands beyond the "baby blues." ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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We need to normalize Perinatal Mental health and bring awareness to the prevalence of mood disorders in those experiencing fertility impairment, pregnancy, and postpartum adjustmentnment. Parents should not be suffering in silence. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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The biggest takeaway here is, there are people who assist with mood disorder and even the transition into and through parenthood. If you are interested in chatting more with a therapist in NC (and licensed in FL too) visit the link in the BIO and let's chat!

SELF CARE WORKS BEST WHEN YOU PRACTICE REGULARLY! ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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I say this with love because I know it's incredibly hard. But, when you get what you put in. So if you only put in a little bit of love to yourself you'll get a little bit back. But, when you amp it up you tend to be at peace more often. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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Here's what self-care can look like: ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
-Taking care of your hygiene ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
-Journaling ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
-Gratitude Practice⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
-Talking with someone you love ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
-Having a dance party ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
-Exercising ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
-Eating something that is nourishing ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
-Getting organized ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
-Decluttering ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
AND SO MUCH MORE... ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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Notice how I mentioned little about paid activities like manicures and pedicures. While those things are amazing and fun, they aren't the only ways to provide self-care to yourself.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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What are some ways you take care of yourself?

I couldn't enjoy self-care like this when I was pregnant. I WAS WAAAAAY TOO NERVOUS. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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After working through infertility, I was a ball of nerves. I feel like I had survivor's guilt too. My thought was, "you don't get to relax because there are so many women ready to be moms who don't have that opportunity". ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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I was doing self-care all wrong during that time. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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If I could give myself any advice it would be this: ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
Some moments in life you do not get to determine the timing, but when it comes up you grab hold and give yourself grace. It's okay to be happy for what you've triumphed and feel for others who haven't reached their moment yet. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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The journey to fertility is tough. You spend all of this time trying to get pregnant, and when you finally do, you are overwhelmed with emotions especially anxiety. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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You are allowed to express happiness for your triumphs while also morning the things that did not come to fruition and those who are still suffering.

Say what you can do self-care wrong? ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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Yup! Well kind of. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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Sometimes when working with people who are overwhelmed and exhausted, I often get the rebuttal, "Self-care doesn't work." But, upon further examination, I find it's not that self-care that doesn't work, it methods and ex*****on that puts a damper on self-care practice. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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Let me show you what I mean: ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
1. Self-care is meant to be an ongoing practice. That means you are actively practicing self-care routinely, not just when you're overwhelmed, but when you're feeling good too! ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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2. Self-care isn't just pretty things like bubble baths, it's the tough introspective work too, like therapy. So that means not only are you taking care of your hygiene but you are also taking care of your mind and spirit. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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3. Wellness in general is about self-discovery and self-care is an enhancement of that. So that means sometimes a bad mood will take time to pass through, and you care for yourself during that, not caring the bad mood away. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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4. Levels of self-care have to match ongoing stressors. This means that a 20-minute bubble bath is not going to match an ongoing stressor, however ongoing therapy along with other methods will. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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All in all, self-care can help however it takes ongoing practice. Self-care is a discipline. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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Let me know in the comments below what your self-care routine looks like.