flowing enerQi

Certain events can leave us traumatised. Not having any support often compounds the trauma.

For example, if we experience an event that overwhelms us, and there is no support available for us, no one to turn to, we are unable to share our experience, or are not believed and/or dismissed, then this can create complexities in our recovery.

This can show up as heightened and/or lack of bodily sensation, in over and under reactions, compromised physical and mental health and difficulties in our personal and professional relationships.

Even though past events shape our nervous system responses, influencing the way we think, feel, behave and relate, there is hope in the knowledge that it is possible to reshape our system by having the right support. Recovery is possible. You are not alone.

As humans, it’s fair to say that we all wish to be seen, heard and acknowledged, with a level of care and compassion. Guess what? So do the different parts of us that makes themselves known as reactions and bodily sensations that might bring about a sense of discomfort.

It’s only natural to want to push what makes us feel uncomfortable away. This can work as a short term strategy, but in the long term, can bring about feelings and reactions that invite us to look beneath the surface.

When we can meet ourselves with compassion, rather than judgment, the part of us that asks for our attention softens. It feels seen and heard, inviting the possibility of connection, freeing up space for more kindness, more awareness, more hope and self acceptance.

for the image.

As part of our healing journey, there may come a time when we are required to acknowledge and accompany the remnants of the past as they journey towards our conscious awareness.

Past events that were experienced as stressful, challenging and traumatic are not just remembered cognitively, but are also stored in our body for safe keeping. This is the body’s way of protecting us so that we could survive the situation we were faced with. This is why we may have blurred or incomplete recall of challenging periods of time.

When we are triggered by something that our system perceives to be similar to traumatic events from the past, we may notice a reaction or bodily sensations that awaken the parts of us that felt hurt, scared, ashamed and frozen. This can also occur when our system feels safe enough and has the required bandwidth to support the healing process.

We are so fortunate to have such intelligence embedded within our system. Our body knows when it is time for such processing to take place. It is stressful for the body to hold onto what hurt us. This can be experienced in a variety of ways, from feeling hyper aroused, experiencing chronic pain and gut issues, to feeling numb, unmotivated and as if you’re living life as an observer, rather than an active participant.

Our role is to listen and provide the support our system needs to let go of what it has been holding onto for so long, removing the layers of past pain so that we can (once again) feel the lightness, hope and spaciousness that safe connections can bring.

Our body speaks to us all the time, doing so via feelings and visceral sensations that we may feel in our torso. In the words of Eugene Gendlin,before there are words, there is wordless communication that comes from the body.

When we find it challenging to put words to our feelings, perhaps our body is asking us to turn toward it with care and compassion. Maybe it would like our support to accompany the sensations that are here by bringing our awareness to a specific part of our body.

Perhaps it would like a supportive hand close by, letting it know that it is not alone, creating a sense of safety and connection. Maybe, this creates the right conditions from which the words can start to form.

Once we can get to know the ways that our body communicates with us, we can transform what may feel uncomfortable into the relief that our body is asking for..This allows us to grow our capacity to feel safe and comfortable in our own skin.

I invite you to take a moment to remember a time when you felt seen and heard. What feelings does this invoke? When I invite my system to connect to these moments, I can feel a warm sensation in my chest, I notice I am smiling and that there is a sense of expansiveness in my being. I feel hopeful and am open to the possibility of connection.

When our experience of a situation is witnessed and acknowledged in a way that allows our needs to be attuned to, it can make us feel validated, valued and like we matter. Sometimes this requires words, other times it can come through a look, a head tilt and/or a nervous system that offers co regulation.

If you are looking for some support, need your feelings to be met, and/or would like to improve your skills in meeting others, feel free to get in touch for a 15 minute confidential chat.

Shame disconnects us. It makes us feel unlovable, undeserving, unworthy. It isolates us, keeps ourselves and others at arms length.

Telling our story and being curious about how our body responds to the sharing of our experiences in a safe space releases the weight of what we’ve been carrying. It allows for greater connection, to ourselves and others. It expands our capacity to see the world as a place of possibilities, restoring faith in our hopes and dreams.

Don’t let shame win. Life gets better when we can share our story, inviting our body to be part of the process in a safe and measured way, sensing into how much feels ok to share in the moment. Trust that your system has your back and always will. It has made sure you survived what has transpired, so it has the capacity to know how much feels safe to share. Healing is possible. It is our birthright.

When I was younger, I used to be so impatient. I had so many questions. I was setting a cracking pace on my healing journey. Today I’m still somewhat impatient, and there are many questions that, to this day, intrigue me. The difference is the pace and flow with which I go about life.

I have learnt the art of listening to my body, and the wisdom of its own unfolding. I’ve learnt that less is more and that pushing my system to keep up with how I think I should be, or where I should be at, is irrelevant.

Our body knows so much more than our mind does. It is a place keeper of memories, experiences, beliefs, hopes and dreams. It doesn’t want to be pushed or ignored, but rather, it wants to be met, with compassion, tenderness and curiosity. Like a hand that extends a friendly invitation to gently and safely explore what is just beneath the surface, wanting our attention, waiting to unfurl, asking us to connect.

With arms outstretched, to offer comfort and support;

With roots that ground and offer the possibility to anchor;

With leaves, the spectrum of the rainbow, that offer insight into how to flow alongside change;

A reminder that we are strong enough to withstand the elements, and kind enough to offer shelter, shade and light to others 🙏🏽🌳

Change is all around us. Here is the Southern Hemisphere, the Autumn months demonstrate this through the spectrum of a rainbow as a graceful way of letting go.

Change is happening within us, every moment of the day, and often below our conscious awareness. Our Autonomic Nervous System is constantly scanning the environment, both internally and externally, for cues of safety and danger. It is this very function that keeps us alive.

Our past experiences cannot always be remembered, bring just one way our system allows us to overcome situations that would have otherwise overwhelmed us. What cannot be remembered cognitively is stored in our body for safekeeping, and can sometimes be reawakened by a situation that reminds us of what we’ve been through before. This can elicit a reaction, bringing our original response to the trauma we experienced to the surface.

This can also occur when we feel safe enough and have the required bandwidth for what is below the surface to emerge. This is our body’s way of letting us know that it is ready to process the imprint of a traumatic experience. Working somatically can give us the framework and support so that we are able to meet what is here as best we can, allowing it to fall away, like a tree shedding its leaves.

This is why working at the level of the body and nervous system, rather than just talk alone, can help us sit alongside what is here, and safely accompany the parts that feel scared, alone and unsupported so they can see the light of day. This can offer a sense of hope and liberation from what has been holding us back, inviting us to live life with enthusiasm and authenticity.

Sometimes words are inadequate when it comes to putting a description to how we are feeling. In the words of Eugene Gendlin, before there are words, there is the wordless communication of the body.

At times we get a sense that something isn’t right, or that we feel something brewing within us. In these instances, rather than using words, our body is asking us to attune to the sensations present as best we can.

I liken such feelings as visitors. When we are able to acknowledge what is here, wanting to get our attention, we might like to greet and make its acquaintance gently, gradually, slowly. Understanding its preferences, the way we would when we get to know a friend.

Does it prefer a direct gaze when you meet it, does it like to be greeted with self touch, is what is here asking for some space, would it like to be greeted through movement? It is in the process of becoming familiar with what is here that can allow the words and meaning to form, working at the level of the body, rather than trying to intellectualise something that we may find traumatic.

The body knows so much more than our mind, which is why including the body to be part of the psychotherapeutic process can produce such profound and sustained results.

I started my journey in the wellbeing space as a physical therapist 20 years ago and have witnessed clients experience a number of benefits from Manual Lymphatic Drainage.

From pain relief to a decrease in fluid retention and better quality sleep to a feeling of being able to safely land in one’s body after a period of chronic stress, it’s a therapy I thoroughly enjoy providing clients*.

Available Fridays and Saturdays at Esolab South Melbourne

*Due to ethical reasons this service is not available to Counselling and Psychotherapy clients.

You might like to let your body know that it can take all the time it needs to gently approach what is here. There’s no need to push or force. Perhaps be curious if you are able to meet what is here as best you can.

If there is something else that lets you know it’s too much, or that it’s worried or scared, you might want to let this part know that you hear it, and notice how it feels to allow it to have some airtime.

Tending to the parts of us that feel scared or alone, and that didn’t have the support they needed can be the very thing that is required to experience a felt sense of safety, comfort and peace within your system. In the words of Eugene Gendlin, we can only move as fast as our body’s slowest part.

🙏🏽 for beautifully expressing how to approach what is here and needing our attention.

Do you choose you when it comes to accepting social invitations, or do you say yes, even when your system is screaming at you to say no?

I invite you to think back to a time when you accepted a social invitation and immediately felt a sense of regret for having done so. Perhaps it presented itself as a sinking feeling in your stomach, or a tightness in your chest. This can be your body’s way of saying no, even though your automatic response was to say yes.

Whilst it’s true that connecting with others is a way to regulate our nervous system, it must be said that perhaps some discernment is required. You might like to tune into your system to get an honest response to the following questions.

Do you have the bandwidth to socialise?

Are you better served by taking some time out for you and giving yourself what you need - rest, the opportunity to meet the part of you that needs space?

What would it feel like to choose you by giving yourself what you need, rather than meeting the expectation to show up?

The answers can be surprising, especially if you are feeling overstretched or simply don’t have the capacity to fit another thing into your schedule.

One way I’m choosing myself going forward is to listen to my own needs and being honest about my energy levels. Do I have enough fuel in the tank to show up, or am I better served by spending the time to refill my own cup?

When my cup is full, it means I can be more present, authentic and regulated, and enjoy socialising, rather than it feeling like I’m ticking a task off the to do list.

Some food for thought here. It’s not always straightforward, especially if we don’t want to let others down and/or the people pleasing part of us is working overtime.

A gentle reminder that it’s ok to say no, especially if it means you’re choosing you.

Feel free to get in touch for a confidential chat, especially if this resonates and you’d like to know more.

When it comes to love, it is our nervous system that often leads the way. If we grew up in a household where chaos and drama were commonplace, then we may be inclined to be attracted to a partner whose nervous system gives off the same vibes. We will naturally gravitate towards what is familiar, even though it may not be in our best interest.

That’s why meeting someone who is steady, stable and consistent may bring up feelings of boredom and disinterest,, when in fact the way this person behaves, relates and communicates can be a healing salve for our attachment wounds.

If you can relate and feel like this is an area that you could benefit from working on, feel free to get in touch for a confidential chat.

Sessions available in person if you’re in Melbourne or online Australia wide

🙏🏽 for their wisdom

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The more we can notice and pay attention, the greater the potential for growth, transformation and joy. Noticing the little things, like a flower in bloom, birdsong and the way the light filters through the trees invites in a sense of connection and curiosity about the world, that can, over time, invite us to become inquisitive about our own inner workings.

The simple act of paying attention can yield long term results. I work with people to support their capacity to tune in, listen and notice the nuances of their system, leading to sustained and lasting change. Working at the level of the body and nervous system whilst also integrating this with the mind may be the key you’ve been looking for. Feel free to contact me for a confidential chat. Spaces are limited.

🙏🏽 for sharing the wisdom of Mary Oliver

I’m sensing something in me that feels uncomfortable. It feels like a series of clouds are swirling in my head and body. I can feel them moving back and forth, as if they’re being carried by the wind. I take a moment to let my system know that I can feel what it’s experiencing … there’s a stillness that comes from meeting myself in this way.

I make a gentle enquiry with my system to sense what type of support it would like from me in this moment. It lets me know that it would like me to place a hand on my chest to companion this place. I invite my system to spend some time taking in the solace of a supportive hand to anchor me. I notice that the clouds feel less intense and that the wind has eased. I can once again see the sky. A feel a tear roll down my cheek and I can breathe again.

Cultivating a relationship with our system invites us to get in touch with our needs, and bring relief to what may feel uncomfortable or challenging. It provides us with a framework to support ourselves and others in times of need, helping us to feel less alone and more empowered and confident to handle life’s challenges and opportunities. Feel free to get in touch if you want to know more. Sessions are available online worldwide.

For those of us lucky enough to have had a break this summer, I invite you to make a gentle enquiry with your system - do you truly feel rested enough to spring back into day to day life? Perhaps pause a moment and allow the murmurings from your body answer the question.

You might like to be curious about what are you hearing/feeling? Is your system letting you know it would like more time off? Are you sensing into a part of you that feels ready to re-engage with the day to day? Perhaps there’s another part here that is letting you know that it needs to be checked in on regularly to ensure that you don’t fall back into the habit of pushing through, when your system is asking you to slow down.

The big question is around how to maintain the fine line between meeting our own expectations around health and wellbeing versus the busyness and obligations of life. What are some of the ways you are looking to ensure you have checks and balances in place to maintain a healthy balance?

I am lucky enough to have a regular listening practice where I can engage with my system and hear when I need to change gears. I have a series of appointments scheduled to care for my system in different ways. I’m also calling upon some visual reminders using photos from my summer break, connecting to my body’s ability to remember the benefits of pausing and what coming home to myself feels like.

If you would like some support in this area, please feel free to contact me for a confidential chat. I help people slow down and safely lean into their inner landscape, so they can tune into their needs and fulfil them from the inside out. Sessions available online worldwide and in person if you are in Melbourne.

I invite you to take a moment to notice which image best represents your current state. Are you feeling in flow and like you’re making positive headway, or are you feeling scattered and can’t seem to focus?

Whilst it’s true that there’s nothing quite like a deadline to produce some of your best work, there is a fine line between this type of pressure bringing out your best and tipping you over the edge.

Personal issues, incessant worries and not enough joy in our lives can see us feeling overstretched, which can cause us to feel overwhelmed. When we are overwhelmed it can feel like we can’t think straight, simple things feel challenging and we don’t have enough bandwidth to take on even the smallest of things.

What we often need is a helping hand to get us back on track. When we can be supported to slow down and bring awareness to how we are feeling, we start to move into a state of connection.

Being shown how to provide your system with the support it needs can turn off the alarm bells that are ringing in your system. It can bring about near instant relief and calm the mind, so that you can make better decisions, think logically and approach tasks from a different perspective.

The Connect to calm vagus nerve regulation program provides you with the insight and resources you need to help you get back on track so you can feel empowered to problem solve with confidence.

Sessions are available worldwide and in person if you live in Melbourne.

https://www.flowingenerqi.com.au/vagus-nerve-regulation-classes

🙏🏽 for the image

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Face to the sun

Breeze in my hair

Taking some time to pause

Attuning to my needs

Meeting myself where I’m at

Not forcing or pushing away

Inviting what wants to make itself known to be here, just as it is

Feeling grateful for the time and space to connect

https://www.flowingenerqi.com.au/focusing

What is your automatic response when you are asked how you are? Most of the time your response may not be an accurate reflection of how you’re really feeling. Many of us have been conditioned to respond that we are good thanks, even if we don’t feel that way.

For some of us, we may notice something in us that lets us know that our response isn’t congruent to the way we are feeling. This is our body letting us know that there is more here, and it wants us to pause and listen.

There might be a niggling feeling that lets us know that we haven’t been real in our response. This feeling can inform us of the unconscious patterns that lead us to respond in a way that is socially acceptable, whilst perhaps pushing down our real feelings, leading to a loss of connection from self and others.

When we can be supported to lean into how we really feel, there is a wealth of information here. It can be the start of a process that invites us to get to know ourselves on a deeper level, growing our capacity for connection, clarity and authenticity, providing us with the confidence to be who we really are.

https://www.flowingenerqi.com.au/focusing

🙏🏽 for the artwork

How do you feel about letting go? Are you inclined to embrace it or do you have a tendency to resist it?

If I’m honest, I oscillate between the two. I do not claim to know the answer as to what is best for you, but I do have faith in leaning into one’s felt experience of the situation, by inviting the body to be part of the process.

Letting go is like a dance, the path is not linear and we may need to retrace our steps until it feels right to move forward. This may look like leaning into the part that wants to let go and acknowledging and witnessing the part that feels scared or worried to do so.

When we can be supported to meet ourselves where we are at, we can learn how to soothe, comfort and grieve what once was. We can also learn to befriend, become curious about and lean into the space that is created, allowing for new growth to emerge.

Letting go is a process, and being gentle and patient with ourselves as we approach what is here can help in the transition. Life is a marathon, not a sprint. There’s no need to rush. In the words of Richard Kluft. The slower we go, the faster we get there.

https://www.flowingenerqi.com.au/counselling

The Bottlebrush is one e again in bloom, reminding us that change is upon is with the ushering in of Autumn here in the Southern hemisphere. As an Australian Bush Flower Essence, it helps us with the concept of letting go, supporting us to go with the flow.

Change can make us feel worried, scared and excited, all at the same time, as we are invited to befriend the unknown. Our nervous system is inclined to favour what is familiar, even if it isn’t in our best interests, making it challenging to sometimes embrace the winds of change.

If you are looking for some support to manage the change that lies ahead, or you have been through an intense period of change and are feeling frazzled as a result, feel free to contact me. I can help you feel resourced and safe enough to build your capacity to ride the wave of change with confidence and curiosity. Most services are available online worldwide.

https://www.flowingenerqi.com.au

Have you ever felt a familiar sensation in your body when you find yourself in a particular situation? That’s your body wanting to let you know how it’s feeling.

No matter how much we can convince ourselves that we are all good with a job, a relationship, a choice we have made, when the body speaks, it is vital that we listen.

Somatic counselling leans into the body’s narrative so that you may become familiar with the language of the body and the way that is wants to inform you of how you’re really feeling. Whilst the mind can play tricks, the body doesn’t lie.

I have limited capacity to take on new counselling clients at the moment. If you have found that talk therapy doesn’t really work for you, you may wish to take a somatic approach. This approach works in a slow and steady way, ensuring that we go as fast as your body’s slowest part, allowing you to attune to your body’s need for support, whilst building your capaocity for safety.

https://www.flowingenerqi.com.au/counselling

It’s only natural to want to move away from anything that feels uncomfortable or that scares us. Our system can perceive uncomfortable emotions as a threat, which is why we tend to give some of our feelings a wide berth.

Feelings act as messengers. Their presence tells us that something would like to be acknowledged, witnessed and met.

Whilst avoiding our feelings can work as a short term strategy, there is a need to address what is wanting our attention. The more we resist by suppressing, ignoring, distracting ourselves or running away, the louder, more intense and uncomfortable our feelings become.

Rather than fighting an epic battle with what would like your attention and exhausting yourself in the process, there is another way.

If we can meet what is here with tenderness, self compassion and curiosity, the closed fist becomes an outstretched hand. The need to protect and defend, or run away is replaced with the desire to connect.

You will feel lighter, clearer and more confident as you experience the relief that comes from working with, rather than against yourself.

I invite you to work with me. Using a somatic approach, we work with what is here now, and invite your body to be part of the process. The work is gentle and slow, helping to create sustained change in a way that won’t re trigger you. Check the emotions section of my website for more details or contact me directly for a free 15 minute confidential chat.

https://www.flowingenerqi.com.au

I am a registered counsellor with the ACA and have capacity to take on new clients.

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The mind body connection is powerful, offering the possibility of calming the mind by working with the body, growing one’s capacity to better manage the curve balls that life can present us with.

If you’ve been curious about how vagus nerve regulation can help you navigate daily life, here’s what Sue had to say about becoming familiar with the workings of her nervous system.

“Working with Michelle for the last few months to learn how to regulate my vagus nerve has been an absolute pleasure and has made a huge difference to my life.

Not only did I value each individual session (all of which helped me reduce feelings of overwhelm and restored a sense of calm and balance), but I also noticed the cumulative effect on my entire body over the duration of the course.

I finished the course with an increased sense of wellbeing, life-changing knowledge and techniques that will allow me better manage my stress for the rest of my life and also profound gratitude for Michelle's caring, empathetic and gentle teaching style.

If you care about looking after yourself (and by doing that also looking after those around you), I cannot recommend Michelle highly enough.”

Thank you for your kind words and the way you embraced building a deeper relationship with your nervous system Sue.

Feel free to get in touch if you’d like to know how vagus nerve regulation can specifically assist you to reduce feelings of overwhelm, so you can feel more capable in how you manage life’s challenges and opportunities. Sessions available worldwide 🌏

https://www.flowingenerqi.com.au/vagus-nerve-regulation-classes

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