BPD- The hard days

If he did come to the shops, it was not long before he was asking to go home. If we went to my parents house for dinner, he would often eat and run, sometimes leaving before the meal was served. This would become very upsetting. I would ask him why he wanted to leave. He could never give me answer, as he did not know himself.

His drinking became worse, becoming heavier every day. The medications and alcohol were not a good mix. He passed out one day, falling to the ground with a loud thump. I ran out to the lounge room to find him on the floor. He had hit his head so hard. He had two tennis ball sized lumps on his forehead.

His drinking continued. I didn’t discourage it. I became a borderline alcoholic myself. I guess this was my way of coping. Anti-depressant medication and alcohol. Probably not the best thing to do.

In August, 2015, after the realisation of how sick the alcohol was making him, he quit. Cold turkey from that day on not another drop of alcohol. We no longer have any alcohol in our home. We don’t stop our friends from bringing their own over. I’ll drink socially. I no longer drink to the extent we once had.

In late 2017, my husband started seeing a psychologist. This lady was amazing after only two sessions. The diagnosis we had longed for, was finally given. How could this diagnosis be ignored by medical professionals for so long?

My husband has suffered with this condition, for most of his life. His abandonment issues started at a very young age. His reactions to the slightest little thing. Anything that goes wrong, triggers him off. This form of reaction, had come from watching how his own mother reacted, in similar situations.